Never Let This Go (Standalone)
Title: Never Let This Go (Standalone)
Author: Vamptic_Viv
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Pairing: Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie/ Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith.
POV: First Person
Summary: Ryan walks in on his boyfriend and Spencer sleeping together. what will he do? brush it off his shoulder and pretend nothing happened or leave him...?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and none of this ever happened as far as i'm aware. (the song belongs to paramore, 'let this go')
Beta: mamoo13
Warning: Sex, cusing, and a broken heart
Note: ok, here is my second try. i hope you guys like this one.
I backed out of the room holding back a sob. I'd left work early to suprise Brendon but ended up with a suprise of my own.
Maybe if my heart stops beating it won't heart this much
I ran out of the building, farther and farther; trying to erase the picture plastered to my brain. Brendon and Spencer cuddled up together, fast asleep. I couldn't fake naivity on just what had happened.
"Hey dude. You ok?" I paid no attention to the concerned stranger.
And never will i have to answer again to anyone
I swollowed the lump in his throat and turned the knob. Everything looked the same as it had 2 hours earlier... except the sheets had been changed.
"Ryan? Is that you?" Brendon called from the other room.
"... Yeah." I answered softly.
My boyfriend walked out of the kitchen smiling, like he'd done nothing. He kissed me gently, but it wasn't like it was before. All i could see was him and... it. His lips tasted different, they tasted of Spencer.
"You ok?" Brendon asked, rubbing my arms.
"Yeah," I answered shakily, "Just a hard day."
Please don't get me wrong
Brendon plopped me down at the table and went to serve up dinner. I looked around, imagining where else Spencer and him had been.
Because i'll never let this go
I hardly noticed when brendon set the plate of spagetti in front of me.
"So what happened today?"
My attention snapped back to him across the table; shoveling his face withe noodles, sauce running over his lips. I wondered what else ahd been shoved in his mouth.
I was half tempted to tell him; break down and cry, make him feel horrible. I opened my mouth but couldn't say anything.
But i can't find the words to tell you
I sighed and picked up my fork, spinning it in the heart of the saucy mess. "Damn coffee machine overflowed again."
"Oh, I'm sorry baby." We smiled at each other.
I don't want to be alone
"I love you," He whispered. The words sounded all wrong. They didn't seem to have the same meaning as they once had. They sounded forced... and empty.
But now i feel like i don't know you
"Oh god Ryan... OH MY G..." Brendon panted. "Please. Let me fuck you." He was acting, i could tell; all i'd done was kiss him goodnight.
One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alright
I laid on my back as Brendon thrust his dick up my ass, harder and faster. The only thing i could think about was how Spencer had been in my plave not 5 hours ago. The only way i had become aroused was by grabbing my own cock and stroking it, making Brendon think it was all him. I moaned and groaned in all the right places, but it meant nothing to me.
And by then i'm sure i'll be pretending just like i am tonight
Brendon cuddled up to my back and slipped his arm around my waist. It took only 5 minutes for him to pass out and 3 for me to start crying.
Please don't get me wrong
All of work the next day, images fo Brendon and Spencer haunted me. Brendon screaming his name instead of mine as he came.
Because i'll never let this go
The phone rang next to me, bringing me back to the present. "Hello. Starbucks Coffee. This is Ryan."
"Hey Ry. It's me." Brendon's voice sang into my ear. I damn near dropped the phone, but managed to cram it in both hands and hold it still. "Ryan? You there?"
But I can't find the words to tell you
"Yeah. Sorry. I spaced out."
"O...k? Anyway, I'm going to be late coming home tonight. It's really busy here at the office."
"oh."
I don't want to be alone
"I got to get back to work, but i'll see you later tonight. Don't wait up for me. Love you, bye."
He hung up with out letting me reply, which wasn't like him. I began feeling alone, cold... unwanted.
But now i feel like i don't know you
Alone that night, curled up in a ball under a blanket; my face raw from crying and wiping away the tears.
Let this go
Brendon pounding into Spencer, sharing possionate kisses. What had i done wrong? What had i done to make Brendon not want me anymore?
Let this go
I was ready to prove myself to Brendon if i had to. I laid under the sheets naked when he finally came home at 10.
But i'll never let this go
"Hmmm... Is that for me?" He asked, noticing my hardened cock as he pulled back the blanket.
But i can't find the words to tell you
I reached out for him as he climbed in, shedding his jeans on the way.
I don't want to be alone
It was hot, sweaty, angry, crazy, monsterious, fucking. Both of us were left breathless after screaming each others name into the darkness. But there was still something different about him...
But now i feel like i don't know you
You could tell Brendon wasn't far from crashing when he cuddled up to me. "Night. I love you... Spencer."
And i'll never let this go
I was rendered speachless and hurt. Like Brendon had taken the knife he'd already stuck into my heart and twisted it. He was already snoring, curled up in the sheet like a 5 year old.
I kicked out of the blankets and stood next to the bed, Brendon hadn't stirred. I pulled on some jeans and stuffed what ever else of mine i could reach into my backpack.
I stood at the foot of the bed and looked a the one person i've ever loved. The one person to ever have broken my heart.
"I will not be your fuck buddy, Brendon Urie..." I hissed at him. "And if that's all you want me for, then this... this is." But i couldn't finish it.
And i can't find the words to tell you
I closed the door behind me and walked down the deserted hall. Alive on the outside, but dead on the inside.
That now i feel like i don't know you
Author: Vamptic_Viv
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe
Pairing: Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie/ Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith.
POV: First Person
Summary: Ryan walks in on his boyfriend and Spencer sleeping together. what will he do? brush it off his shoulder and pretend nothing happened or leave him...?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and none of this ever happened as far as i'm aware. (the song belongs to paramore, 'let this go')
Beta: mamoo13
Warning: Sex, cusing, and a broken heart
Note: ok, here is my second try. i hope you guys like this one.
I backed out of the room holding back a sob. I'd left work early to suprise Brendon but ended up with a suprise of my own.
Maybe if my heart stops beating it won't heart this much
I ran out of the building, farther and farther; trying to erase the picture plastered to my brain. Brendon and Spencer cuddled up together, fast asleep. I couldn't fake naivity on just what had happened.
"Hey dude. You ok?" I paid no attention to the concerned stranger.
And never will i have to answer again to anyone
I swollowed the lump in his throat and turned the knob. Everything looked the same as it had 2 hours earlier... except the sheets had been changed.
"Ryan? Is that you?" Brendon called from the other room.
"... Yeah." I answered softly.
My boyfriend walked out of the kitchen smiling, like he'd done nothing. He kissed me gently, but it wasn't like it was before. All i could see was him and... it. His lips tasted different, they tasted of Spencer.
"You ok?" Brendon asked, rubbing my arms.
"Yeah," I answered shakily, "Just a hard day."
Please don't get me wrong
Brendon plopped me down at the table and went to serve up dinner. I looked around, imagining where else Spencer and him had been.
Because i'll never let this go
I hardly noticed when brendon set the plate of spagetti in front of me.
"So what happened today?"
My attention snapped back to him across the table; shoveling his face withe noodles, sauce running over his lips. I wondered what else ahd been shoved in his mouth.
I was half tempted to tell him; break down and cry, make him feel horrible. I opened my mouth but couldn't say anything.
But i can't find the words to tell you
I sighed and picked up my fork, spinning it in the heart of the saucy mess. "Damn coffee machine overflowed again."
"Oh, I'm sorry baby." We smiled at each other.
I don't want to be alone
"I love you," He whispered. The words sounded all wrong. They didn't seem to have the same meaning as they once had. They sounded forced... and empty.
But now i feel like i don't know you
"Oh god Ryan... OH MY G..." Brendon panted. "Please. Let me fuck you." He was acting, i could tell; all i'd done was kiss him goodnight.
One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alright
I laid on my back as Brendon thrust his dick up my ass, harder and faster. The only thing i could think about was how Spencer had been in my plave not 5 hours ago. The only way i had become aroused was by grabbing my own cock and stroking it, making Brendon think it was all him. I moaned and groaned in all the right places, but it meant nothing to me.
And by then i'm sure i'll be pretending just like i am tonight
Brendon cuddled up to my back and slipped his arm around my waist. It took only 5 minutes for him to pass out and 3 for me to start crying.
Please don't get me wrong
All of work the next day, images fo Brendon and Spencer haunted me. Brendon screaming his name instead of mine as he came.
Because i'll never let this go
The phone rang next to me, bringing me back to the present. "Hello. Starbucks Coffee. This is Ryan."
"Hey Ry. It's me." Brendon's voice sang into my ear. I damn near dropped the phone, but managed to cram it in both hands and hold it still. "Ryan? You there?"
But I can't find the words to tell you
"Yeah. Sorry. I spaced out."
"O...k? Anyway, I'm going to be late coming home tonight. It's really busy here at the office."
"oh."
I don't want to be alone
"I got to get back to work, but i'll see you later tonight. Don't wait up for me. Love you, bye."
He hung up with out letting me reply, which wasn't like him. I began feeling alone, cold... unwanted.
But now i feel like i don't know you
Alone that night, curled up in a ball under a blanket; my face raw from crying and wiping away the tears.
Let this go
Brendon pounding into Spencer, sharing possionate kisses. What had i done wrong? What had i done to make Brendon not want me anymore?
Let this go
I was ready to prove myself to Brendon if i had to. I laid under the sheets naked when he finally came home at 10.
But i'll never let this go
"Hmmm... Is that for me?" He asked, noticing my hardened cock as he pulled back the blanket.
But i can't find the words to tell you
I reached out for him as he climbed in, shedding his jeans on the way.
I don't want to be alone
It was hot, sweaty, angry, crazy, monsterious, fucking. Both of us were left breathless after screaming each others name into the darkness. But there was still something different about him...
But now i feel like i don't know you
You could tell Brendon wasn't far from crashing when he cuddled up to me. "Night. I love you... Spencer."
And i'll never let this go
I was rendered speachless and hurt. Like Brendon had taken the knife he'd already stuck into my heart and twisted it. He was already snoring, curled up in the sheet like a 5 year old.
I kicked out of the blankets and stood next to the bed, Brendon hadn't stirred. I pulled on some jeans and stuffed what ever else of mine i could reach into my backpack.
I stood at the foot of the bed and looked a the one person i've ever loved. The one person to ever have broken my heart.
"I will not be your fuck buddy, Brendon Urie..." I hissed at him. "And if that's all you want me for, then this... this is." But i couldn't finish it.
And i can't find the words to tell you
I closed the door behind me and walked down the deserted hall. Alive on the outside, but dead on the inside.
That now i feel like i don't know you