Emotions Suck Ass
This is stupid. So fucking stupid. I never feel this strongly about this fucking stuff, but no not this time. For whatever reason this time it's different. I want to punch something and cry all at the same time. The cryihg is def. out weighing the other right now though. This isn't supposed to happen and if it does I'm not supposed to feel this way. I really don't know why I do. And usually I just brush it off,but this time I can't and I dont' know why. I really don't situation is no different only the who, but for some reason it is worse. Maybe because it doesn't happen or possible because I always thought that it wouldn't or shouldn't. It always does though I and I was fooling myself thinking that it wouldn't. Although honestly I never really thought about it,but here it is. And it is so stupid. There are people dealing with more important crap than this and have much better reasons for feeling crappy. But I feel crappy right now, for my stupid reasona and I try to make it go away like every other time. But it's just eating at me and I can't concentrate and I can't smile and I feel sick. There is probably no reason for me to feel this way. Though there maybe more reason than I think. Better to expect the worse, right? I would rather be disappointed planning for the worst than hoping for the best. It hurts much worse that way. However it still hurts. I just didn't want it to happen. It only does with the people that matter, or moree that it only matters with the people that matter so the fact that I am as upset as I am should say something. But I dont' want it to because I don't want things to matter that much. People get hurt when things matter that much. And it's all I can think about, it's throwing my concentration. But will I say that when it matters: no. Why: becuase I can't do that. Because people get hurt that way.
There's some quote about blocking out hurt also blocks love and better to have loved and lost and all that crap. Well those who came up with that crap are fuckwits. Fuck love because it's all part of a vicious cycle that includes hurt and there is no way out of it unless you die first and that is the best way to go about it. dying first.
There's some quote about blocking out hurt also blocks love and better to have loved and lost and all that crap. Well those who came up with that crap are fuckwits. Fuck love because it's all part of a vicious cycle that includes hurt and there is no way out of it unless you die first and that is the best way to go about it. dying first.