letting in and letting go
I'm working on a small project: pretty much completely redoing my room (one room, in which i conduct business, uni-work, write, keep my daily stuff like clothes and linens, and my longer term stuff like cards and books and music, and where i also make tea and plan my travels and meditate and so forth and so on, oh, and occasionally, sleep).
This requires pretty much getting everything out (sound familiar, FL? thought it might *grin*) and lucky for me this week my housemate's gone so I can use her office room for a staging area.
Am finding many occasions to notice my reaction to small annoyances: things kept past their prime, past their usefulness, past my interest in them waning. Anxieties related to anticipating situations that may never come, but half-planning for them, stocking odd things in fear of them. Things I enjoy and would do well to be using (brushes, pencils, needles and thread and beads) put away 'for later'- when, after the catastrophes?
So this time i'm also taking a moment with each heavy sigh and eye-roll and moment's depression to make a note of what the reaction was, what (if I can tell) it was in reaction to, and what worked to step away from it, to shed it. Deep breath? stretching? change of location? quick decision (trash/freecycle/second hand store/storage/keep)? And then going on until i hit one of those 'suddenly dizzy' moments that signals 'too much input, not enough disc space to process'.
That's when the tea comes out, and the music gets put on, and I step back and see how much has gotten done already.
Two weeks til uni starts. CPR renewal tonight, Breakfast club cook tomorrow. Then it's just work and sleep and room and friends and beloveds until Sunday, when I need to have the room done and my stuff out of my housemate's room.
One step, one breath at a time, yeah? *nods* yeah.
This requires pretty much getting everything out (sound familiar, FL? thought it might *grin*) and lucky for me this week my housemate's gone so I can use her office room for a staging area.
Am finding many occasions to notice my reaction to small annoyances: things kept past their prime, past their usefulness, past my interest in them waning. Anxieties related to anticipating situations that may never come, but half-planning for them, stocking odd things in fear of them. Things I enjoy and would do well to be using (brushes, pencils, needles and thread and beads) put away 'for later'- when, after the catastrophes?
So this time i'm also taking a moment with each heavy sigh and eye-roll and moment's depression to make a note of what the reaction was, what (if I can tell) it was in reaction to, and what worked to step away from it, to shed it. Deep breath? stretching? change of location? quick decision (trash/freecycle/second hand store/storage/keep)? And then going on until i hit one of those 'suddenly dizzy' moments that signals 'too much input, not enough disc space to process'.
That's when the tea comes out, and the music gets put on, and I step back and see how much has gotten done already.
Two weeks til uni starts. CPR renewal tonight, Breakfast club cook tomorrow. Then it's just work and sleep and room and friends and beloveds until Sunday, when I need to have the room done and my stuff out of my housemate's room.
One step, one breath at a time, yeah? *nods* yeah.