four green bottles (if one should accidentally fall)
Title: four green bottles (if one should accidentally fall)
Author: slashedsilver
Fandom: Big Byung
Rating: G
Pairing: Jackson Wang (GOT7)/Cha Hakyeon (VIXX)
Word Count: 5,500 words
Summary: Scenes from a growing friendship. Featuring Sungjae and Hyuk as loyal wingmen and GOT7 as the worst supporters of Jackson's romantic life, ever.
The first time Jackson meets N, he doesn't think too much of it. There are too many things that need his attention and focus already.
There's the ever persistent language barrier, except this time he doesn't have someone like Guk Joo noona who will indulge his need for motherly affection and reassurance, or someone like Joon hyung who still has difficulties navigating Korean language and culture after fifteen years, but who assures him that he can do this -- survive this Korean entertainment scene despite being essentially foreign: survive and thrive. But he doesn't have them now. This is variety without his GOT7 or Roommate members. It feels like he's been thrown into the jungle and he needs every last bit of wit and ingenuity to survive.
In his head, he clutches at his imaginary sabre to give him strength.
The other newly drafted members of Big Byung are looking equally reserved and uncertain. Hyungdon and Defconn are so many times more of a handful than when they're safely confined in the filming studio in Basement Three. It's like ravenous lions have been unleashed and they're prowling around the four hapless idol members, waiting for their chance to pounce... His fingers spasm around where the handle of his sabre would have been.
"Are you okay?" a concerned voice asks quietly.
Jackson realises he's been staring, slightly scared, at Hyungdon and Defconn exchanging prickly barbs and comments about the members and each other in rapid fire Korean. It's for the cameras, he tells himself, only for the cameras.
He realises that VIXX's leader N is still waiting patiently for his response, though he's starting to look more worried with each second Jackson doesn't respond.
Jackson scrubs his face and adjusts his snapback to sit at a more jaunty angle. "I'm fine!" he exclaims, pasting a wide grin on his face. "I'm just getting hungry." He laughs, a little too loudly. "I can go without sleep, you know, but I can't go without food. When do you think they'll let us eat again?"
N's face breaks into a warm smile and doesn't let himself get sidetracked. He nods slightly at Hyungdon and Defconn, still hamming it up in front of the cameras. "They can be quite intimidating, can't they? I mean, we've done variety before, but it's always just been VIXX, you know? Or with someone interviewing us, getting to know us." His smile turns rueful. "No one's outright tried to bait us and undercut us before. But I guess it's their style. We'll just have to get used to it."
"I find variety really difficult to shoot," Jackson blurts, then slaps a hand over his mouth. He doesn't mean to confide in N -- someone he's just barely met -- but N is nodding in understanding, and his eyes are sympathetic and remind him just a bit of something comforting and familiar, so Jackson goes on. "Well, it's not so much the language -- most of the time -- but all the cultural references I don't get. The viewers see it and laugh and enjoy it but..." It's not nice being known on national television as the foreigner who doesn't get anything. "I don't understand why I'm being cast all the time," he finishes instead.
The cameras are being shifted into place, and the crew is making noise about starting to film again, so Jackson assumes their brief conversation is over. He's about to obediently shuffle back into position when N lays a hand on his arm. He turns back to compassionate brown eyes.
"Variety will get easier to film the more you do it," N says with all the experience of someone two years more senior in the industry. "You have a natural honesty and an upright character that draws people to you; that's why you're getting cast so much. Don't think too much about it, just be yourself." N flashes him a last encouraging smile and nudges him back to the group.
The first time Jackson meets N, even though he doesn't know him well yet, he thinks that he's very kind.
~*~
The second time they meet, they're listening to the sample track Defconn has prepared for their debut.
It's N's turn to get worried. It shows on his face as the filming extends into the late night. His training as a vocalist shows through: he raps his lines like they're a melody. Hyungdon and Defconn are looking increasingly irritated with his attempts, faces getting darker and darker as the recording wears on. Jackson has stopped trying to figure out if their short tempers are just for the sake of the show.
Jackson struggles with the language but at least he has the skill down pat. He isn't a born rapper and neither did he develop an interest in it from an early age, not like Bam Bam, but it's the role he's been trained for at JYP and it's comfortable to him like a second skin. Confidence comes easily to him, always has, and he can inject enough swag and brashness that is half the battle won when it comes to rap.
N, though, is heartbreakingly uncertain of himself. For all the praises he sings of himself, Jackson identifies it easily -- a false bravado that hides his insecurities. Because if he exaggerates his strengths and he's laughed at, he can wave it away as a joke. Jackson wonders if he even believes the things about himself that are true.
After they fail again to meet up to Hyungdon's expectations, the two producers announce a practice break.
"You guys haven't practiced at all, have you?" Hyungdon says critically. He snorts, the camera lapping up every move. "What do you think we gave you the lyrics for?"
Jackson looks around at the other members, exhaustion on their faces from their packed schedules, lyrics sheets crumpled and well-worn in their hands. He stares down at his own sheet, his part carefully underlined and highlighted, with romanised annotations to help him pronounce his lines more accurately. They've all been practicing. It's the curse of being an idol: You never know if your effort is going to be enough, and so you just work as hard as you can, running as hard as you can in the hopes that it'll pay off.
The cameras stop rolling and the crew discusses the next shot. Defconn wipes off his sweat and hands a bottle of water to Hyungdon.
N excuses himself from the room, lyrics clutched in his hand. Jackson watches him go and wonders if he dares to follow.
Just then, the staff approach him. "We'll be filming the members practicing in separate places. Does JYP have enough practice rooms or places they can be? Locations like stairwells are fine too, it'd be best if we can have a variety of settings."
Jackson obligingly plays host, of course, sorting them out.
Ten minutes later, the crew has been deployed to the other locations within the building and are getting ready to move out. Jackson grabs the opportunity to look for N. He finds him at the fire escape near the room they were in. He's not resting; he's still practicing his lines.
Jackson watches him as he tries out different tones and expressions, feeling surprisingly unwilling to interrupt him.
So the second time they meet, Jackson thinks N works really hard and is probably much too harsh on himself. He wonders what it must be like to be under N as the leader of VIXX. He wonders if they might have become close. He wonders if he could have helped to shoulder some of that stress.
The next time they film, though, N's rap has improved tremendously.
"I got Ravi to make me a vocal guide," he confides as he lifts his hand to meet Jackson's excited high five. "I memorised it."
Jackson grins, ridiculously proud. "I won't tell."
~*~
N is the lead dancer of VIXX.
Jackson knows this, but he only fully realises what it means when Hyungdon and Defconn force N to dance.
It's a break, a brief break while the crew checks to see if they have enough material for another episode. They're on the verge of calling it a day for the night (or early morning, more accurately) and everyone's in a sort of relieved, exhaustion-tinged mood.
It's in this atmosphere that Hyungdon gestures towards N. "You and Hyuk-ddi missed the auditions for Big Byung. Since we've recorded already, it can't be helped. But we should verify that you're truly worthy of being in this project group."
Hyuk and N freeze, shooting matching looks of despair at each other, but Defconn is nodding already and pushing them to the forefront. "That's a great idea. Why don't you two show us what you've got?"
There are still a few errant cameras rolling, so one of the cameramen, sensing a potential video moment, shifts the lens over to get a good angle of the torture.
N is blinking tired eyes from the exhaustion of filming a drama, a variety show, and preparing for a comeback all at the same time, so Hyuk volunteers to go first, having taken pity on his hyung.
"I'll be showing my impressions!" he announces, with all the vigour of the young. Jackson doesn't recognise a single one of his imitations, but judging from Sungjae, Hyungdon and Defconn's reactions, it's a mighty fail.
"We can't air this," Hyungdon says, an exaggerated look of disgust on his face. "This is just too bad." Oblivious, Hyuk beams irrepressibly.
N watches attentively, laughs in the right places, then gets up and limbers up for his turn. "I'll show a dance for my audition," he says. "Can I have some music please? Any sort of music."
Jackson will always wonder what would have happened if the staff had put on a silly song instead. Or even a trot song; he'd like to see N try to make trot appealing.
But what happens is that the chorus of GOT7's "I Like You" starts to play. Jackson leaps to his feet and yells in excitement when he recognises the song, but is quickly shushed by Hyungdon. He pouts, but sits down obediently to watch N.
N feels his way into the song; he doesn't know the choreography, but the beat is steady and seductive and he hits them with moves that are smooth yet strong. Jackson's mouth drops open -- N is good. He's got a control of his body that can only come with classical training, but he never lets his technique get in the way of his obvious enjoyment of the music.
And then he brings out the body waves. Jackson has to hide behind his hands, feeling his face burn with every sinuous movement.
At the end of it, they're still staring.
"We can't use that," Defconn says faintly. "It goes against the concept of the show."
"How dare you be so sexy?" Hyungdon demands, and just like that, sexy Dolbaegi is born.
N smiles easily, apparently unaware that the entire cast and crew are going to be dreaming of him and his body waves that night. Except Hyuk, of course, who's the only one unfazed by the dance. He's probably seen it a million times, Jackson realises.
Jackson doesn't realise everyone is looking at him expectantly until the sudden silence inches into his awareness. "Hey!" he exclaims belatedly. "I'm supposed to be wild and sexy!"
"Looks like N is giving you a run for your money," Sungjae says, sniggering.
When filming finally ends for the day, Jackson goes back to his dorm with the annoying refrain of, "I like you, I Iike you," repeating in his head as N dances in his memory. If he gorges himself on VIXX's dance practice videos afterwards, well, who's to know?
~*~
It's the day of their music video filming. They show up at Hongdae way too early and on far too little sleep, but idols do what idols must. Jackson has almost gotten used to surviving on three hours of sleep; less if he needs to film some footage for Roommate or pull up his favourite Cha Hakyeon videos to watch before he turns in for the night. (Seo Kang Joon is not amused by his nightly habits.)
They turn up in their Big Byung jerseys, and even though they're incredibly unfashionable (Jackson, N and Sungjae had all opted to salvage some idol dignity by wearing snapbacks with their uniforms), Jackson can't help but feel proud at their team uniforms. It feels like they're really doing this together.
He beams at N, who grins at his obvious excitement. "Can't wait to film?"
"I have a good feeling about it!" Jackson bounces on his heels. N reaches out and ruffles his hair fondly. N is touching him. Jackson feels a thrill go through his body and tries to calm himself but fails, launching himself at N instead. N just laughs and lets Jackson hang off his shoulders.
The sun is shining brightly and it's going to be a beautiful day.
"All right kids, we're going to get some basic filming done today. Using this phone." Hyungdon and Defconn laugh at the four identical looks of horror, and that's when Jackson knows that he's wrong, dead wrong.
They waste almost an hour trying to take the footage using one of the writers' mobile phone because Hyungdon thought it would be funny. The quality is going to suck. Who uploads home videos taken on a phone anymore?
Jackson tries not to let his perpetual optimism flag, but it's difficult.
"Hanging in there?" Hyuk asks during a break, as the producers figure out how they're going to film the shots.
Jackson swallows the drag of water he took. "By the edges of my fingers."
Sungjae comes and drapes himself over Hyuk, and N inches closer as well. They are four bottles pulled out of their usual groups and subjected to the harsh variety world of Doni and Coni. They are bonding in their pain. Like some sort of training boot camp.
"On the bright side, it looks like we can probably finish filming in one day," N says bracingly.
Jackson shoots him a look. "Only because we're going for the low-budget concept."
"Do you think anyone's even going to watch the MV?" Hyuk laments.
"Besides our own members, you mean?"
They grin at one another.
"Okay kids," Defconn announces, calling them back to attention. "We'll do the opening scene first, where we introduce each member."
"Can I do it sexily?" N jokes, mood buoyed by their brief break.
Jackson's heart skips a beat. He very carefully does not mention the videos he's been watching. (N, with a blindfold, dancing as if he could feel the music in his bones; N, dressed as a girl, all sleek moves and sensuous expressions that made Jackson slack-jawed and then hit his head soundly on the table for ever clicking on that link; N and Hongbin, and was that a performance or were they just making out?!)
He wants to hit somebody. Maybe the floor.
"You can just lie there like a stone," Hyungdon says, unimpressed.
But when the actual filming happens, N can't seem to control himself. He slips and slides into new poses, and even manages to make lying down sexy.
Jackson watches N sprawled out over a rock. It should be silly but for some reason he can't make himself laugh. He watches him with all the intensity of a creeper and feels sorry for ever calling Jinyoung a pervert.
~*~
Filming wraps up all too soon. Jackson has a million regrets (why didn't he ask N if he wanted to catch dinner together? Or give him a private performance of the blindfold dance -- strictly for professional learning purposes, of course) but then they're all exchanging final hugs and N is warm and comfortable, arms tight around him. N's hair tickles his cheek, just a little, and Jackson forgets what he wanted to say.
They don't see each other for a few months. VIXX has their comeback; GOT7 is busy preparing for theirs. Their comeback date is soon -- tantalisingly soon. There's a chance that their promotion periods might overlap. Jackson works all the more harder, hoping that if he can help them perfect their dance, they can stand on stage sooner.
When he isn't practicing, he's monitoring VIXX's stages with intensity. Jinyoung catches him once, poring over their latest Show Champion appearance on his tablet. Thinking quickly, Jackson makes the excuse that he's searching for good choreography they can use for their own performances.
"We're still rookies," Jackson explains, full of earnesty. "We should be continually looking to our sunbaes to improve."
"But we already have the choreography to Stop Stop It," Jinyoung says, puzzled. "And it's not like the dance concepts of our two groups are compatible at all." He stares at the screen for a while, watching as N performs Jackson's favourite part of the choreography. "Oh -- that guy dances well."
"Doesn't he!" Jackson exclaims excitedly. "His control over his body -- and his expressions -- "
Jinyoung pats him on his shoulder. "Sounds like someone's got a crush."
Jackson is horrified. He just appreciates good dancing, that's all. He throws a cushion at Jinyoung, but he dodges out of the way.
GOT7 has their comeback at the tail-end of VIXX's promotion. They've already racked up five wins for Error, a personal best, and Jackson has never felt prouder. He and Sungjae send congratulatory messages into their Kakao chat group for every single win. N and Hyuk are too busy to celebrate in the thick of their promotion period, but reply with an invitation to eat meat together after it ends. Jackson treasures it like a promise.
The day of GOT7's comeback, Jackson bounds with overwhelming excitement into the salon and the dressing room.
"It's too early in the morning for all this energy," Bambam whines.
Youngjae grumbles, still half-asleep, "Someone sure is in a good mood. Can't wait to stand on stage again?"
"Oh, he's just hoping to see his boyfriend at the station today," Jinyoung says with a yawn.
The rest of the members perk up with interest, like scavengers scenting a kill. Jackson vows to murder that gossip of a Park Jinyoung.
Backstage, Jackson catches irritatingly short glimpses of N who seems all the more busy. He spots Hyuk, though, and drapes himself over him when they meet in the waiting rooms. ("Could you possibly be -- VIXX?" Hyuk plays right along to his wide-eyed fangirl act, and all the while Jackson is wondering where N is and if he would walk by.)
And then the day comes when they tell him Hitmaker will be back for a second season. Jackson pumps his fist in determination. He's not going to miss his chance this time.
"Stop hogging the sofa," Mark complains, kicking him off the couch. "Go watch your goth videos elsewhere."
Jackson draws himself up in as dignified a manner as he knows how. "VIXX has a cyborg concept this time. There's nothing goth about it."
Mark plugs in his earphones and ignores him.
Unfazed, Jackson pulls up another Cha Hakyeon dance video.
~*~
Their first meeting after three months feels like they were never apart.
Jackson grabs N into a huge hug which N returns with enthusiasm. He gives N a piggyback. He compliments N. N turns to him when Hyungdon and Defconn tease him and he comforts him. They spend days in each other's presence. It's glorious.
He's trying to tell them who he thinks is the person responsible for VIXX's success. Baited by the two producers, as usual.
"If it's VIXX -- " he begins, searching for the words.
"Then it's Leo!" Hyungdon interrupts heartily.
N's expression stays carefully neutral but Jackson can see him brimming with pride when his member's name is mentioned. He wonders if he'll have to fight Leo for N's attention. Bracing himself for battle, Jackson cracks his knuckles menacingly, one by one.
"Stop doing that," Sungjae says, swatting at his fingers. "That's bad for your joints."
~*~
The first time they go for a date together, it's a date only in Jackson's head.
"Invite your boyfriend over!" Jinyoung teases as he gets ready to leave the dorm. "We wanna see him."
"Yes, and make sure he's worthy of you." Jaebum winks, truly playful in the way he only is when Jinyoung is around.
Jackson holds up a forestalling hand. "Stay at home kids, and be good. I'm going out with Biiiiig Byung!" He waves and opens their apartment door.
"Make sure you keep your byung in check," Bambam suggests as Jackson steps out, and then laughs like a hyena at his own dirty joke. Jackson very calmly shuts the door on them.
They're watching a movie tonight. It's the first time they're hanging out with each other outside of the show. Well, Jackson amends mentally, the first time he's hanging out with them. BTOB and VIXX have probably had many occasions where they've done stuff like radio or variety shows together, considering they'd debuted around the same time. But they're Big Byung now, and he has the perfect cover for a date.
Jackson does a mighty fist pump in the middle of the road, startling an old lady who scolds him in satoori once she gets over her shock. Even that can't wipe off the large grin on his face.
N and Hyuk are already waiting at the ticketing booth outside the theatre when he arrives.
"Hey!" he says breathlessly. N looks good, he notes absently, in a neatly cut dark grey coat that showed off his slimness and a red scarf wrapped around his neck, mouth crinkled in a welcoming grin.
"Sungjae's gone to get popcorn," N explains. "We haven't chosen a movie yet."
Right on cue, Sungjae returns with two huge boxes of popcorn in tow. "So have you guys decided what you want to watch?"
"N-hyung hates horror movies," Hyuk offers helpfully, and Jackson and Sungjae's eyes light up. N groans in protest but the damage is done. Hyuk is already half on his way to the ticketing counter with Sungjae in tow.
When they file into the theatre, Jackson makes sure he slides into the seat right beside N, jostling Sungjae a little in his eagerness. Sungjae gives him a look but obligingly takes the seat beside Hyuk. N sits down with the air of a man going to his own execution. He balances his backpack on his knees like a shield between himself and the screen.
"You can have my shoulder if you'd like!" Jackson exclaims, seeing an opportunity. He thrusts his arm towards N. "I don't mind."
N says, with as much dignity as he can muster, "It's okay. I can manage." He lasts about ten minutes before he's cowering sideways into Jackson. Jackson slings an arm around him and feels invincible, protecting N against the terrors of vengeful ghosts.
When they leave the theatre two hours later, N is still twined around Jackson's arm. Jackson reaches around with his other hand to pat his back, saying soothing nonsense as N whimpers into his ear. Hyuk and Sungjae are laughing hysterically about the show in front of them.
It's the best movie ever.
Jackson manfully refrains from hauling them back into the theatre for an encore.
~*~
Big Byung gets to open the Gayo Daejun together. Though they have to share the stage with the MCs, standing together on stage as Big Byung is pretty awesome.
Jackson is pumped with energy, N is charismatic and flirty, Sungjae is effortlessly charming, and Hyuk, no matter how many times he tries to deny it, is attractively cute. Two minutes are too short, and then Jackson has to go on stage with GOT7 while the other three exchange high fives and take selfies. N at least has the decency to look slightly apologetic as Jackson reluctantly leaves to get ready.
As they count down to the new year together with all the other idols, Jackson sidles up to N, who's conveniently standing next to GOT7 with the rest of VIXX.
"Happy new year!" Jackson cries, and plants a wet kiss on the side of N's cheek.
N promptly goes red.
Seized with sudden terror, Jackson chickens out and gives a huge smacking kiss to Hyuk, who's watching them with an amused smirk on his face, and then whirls around and grabs Sungjae as well for good measure.
When he releases him, it's to see Sungjae rolling his eyes at him. "Hyung. I'm fine with being used as a shield, but could you be a little less obvious about it?"
He jerks and slaps a hand over Sungjae's mouth in fright, looking around to see if N has heard, but he's too busy greeting Girl's Day to notice.
Sungjae's mouth is moving under his palm. He snatches it away. "What?"
"I said, if you weren't so busy looking for wingmen, you would have noticed that N-hyung is just as head over heels for you."
It suddenly feels like there isn't enough oxygen in the open-air stadium. "Really?"
"Stop being so unconfident," Sungjae admonishes. "Aren't you supposed to be wild and sexy?"
"Jackson is," he says miserably. "I'm just a fanboy."
Sungjae smacks the back of his head. "Get with the program, bro. We've just established that this pining is mutual. Just ask Hyuk. A tip for you -- " he says, leaning in with the air of someone divulging a great secret, "always get insider news when you can."
N ambles over at that point, having finished the rest of his polite greetings. "What's up? Happy new year, Sungjae!"
As N turns to pull Sungjae into an obligatory hug, Sungjae mouths at Jackson, "You've got this!" Jackson cringes and makes faces at Sungjae and almost doesn't notice that N is holding out his arms expectantly to him next.
He grabs him and pulls him into a hug. "Happy new year," he breathes into N's ear, and is gratified to feel him shiver.
~*~
The next time they're together again, it's because Hyuk has arranged for him and Sungjae to come over to Jellyfish Entertainment's practice studio. "To practice our new song, of course."
Jackson seizes the opportunity with two hands, even if he has to squeeze it in between stretches of filming for Roommate. He begs out of the afternoon filming pleading a stomachache, turning large plaintive eyes onto Kang Joon. Kang Joon snorts at him and points out that he's never missed anything for a stomach upset before, but sportingly goes to make his excuses. There's more than enough of them to film the car ride into the suburbs and his roommates accept it with good grace.
When he arrives at Jellyfish, he bumps into Leo, who's on his way out. Leo stares at him inscrutably as he fumbles to catch his balance and greet him at the same time. He does not move out of Jackson's way. Jackson is about to apologise and maybe find a casual way to slide in around him when he suddenly speaks.
"So when are you going to make your move?" Leo says, apropos of nothing.
"Um, I can't... you're kind of standing in the entrance right now," Jackson says, trying to maintain a carefully polite tone. Leo is, after all, his senior. And even if he weren't, that deadly aura around him is enough to strike fear into the hearts of lesser morals.
Leo waves an impatient hand. "Not that -- I meant on Hakyeon."
Jackson's face flames red. He wants to bury himself in the dirt. Does everyone know?
"Stop wasting time," Leo advises, or rather, orders. He adds cryptically, "Or I'll make you regret it."
Jackson tries to wrap his head around what Leo's said (is he offering friendly advice? Threatening physical violence? Does he mean he wants to make a move on N? What is it?) but before he has a chance to ask, Leo has swept off into the street.
"What are you doing out there?" Hyuk pokes his head out of the door. "Come on in."
"Is Leo always that scary?" he blurts as he follows Hyuk in.
Hyuk pauses and squints at him assessingly. "Ah," he says. "You got the 'hurt him and I'll make you pay' talk."
"Does he do that to everyone?" Jackson can't help but ask.
"Only those who look like they may be serious about coming on to N-hyung." Hyuk says it completely nonchalantly. "You are serious right? You have like the worst crush ever."
Jackson opens his mouth (maybe to ask desperately if N has realised) when he's interrupted by a loud exclamation.
"Ah, it's N-hyung's suitor!" Someone with amused eyes and lips curved into a smile comes into view.
"Ken-hyung, stop teasing him."
"Don't worry," Ken says, addressing Jackson directly. "You can do this. Fighting!"
Jackson gives a faint smile in response and Ken disappears down the hallway.
"Are you getting cold feet right now?" Hyuk says disapprovingly. "Just so you know, Sungjae and I didn't set this up for fun."
"What?" Jackson says weakly. "I didn't realise I was supposed to do anything."
Hyuk trains a stern look on him. "Hitmaker is going to end in a few weeks. We don't know if there's going to be a season three. If you don't do something now, you might as well give N-hyung up for good." He leans in menacingly and prods Jackson's shoulder. "And I can tell you there are plenty of other fish where you came from."
If there's one thing Jackson learns, it's to never underestimate the VIXX maknae.
"There you are!" N greets them as they enter. He and Sungjae are getting comfortable with their lyric sheets on the floor. He looks beautiful in his training slacks and simple T-shirt, and that's Jackson knows for sure that he's screwed.
They loll around and practice a bit and then Sungjae and Hyuk make their excuses to leave one after the other, shooting him meaningful looks as they go.
Jackson gulps and panics a little, because he is not ready and can't really think beyond that rap that they've been practicing and the warmth of N sitting so close and the way their knees bump sometimes when he shifts and he really should be thinking of what he's going to do to make N fall in love with him in the ten minutes he has.
N stretches out on the floor of the training room, comfortable in his own skin and his own dance studio. Jackson's mouth goes dry. Okay, this is it. This is it. He braces himself and proceeds to say something suave. Too bad there's nothing in his brain to help him right now, except, most inanely, Bambam's stupid Big Byung joke.
"Have you heard that song before?" he blurts, suddenly inspired. "Ten green bottles, standing on the wall."
N shakes his head, glancing up at him from the floor. "Why don't you sing it for me?"
"See, it should be like our Big Byung theme song. Since we're all bottles." Jackson opens his mouth and starts singing.
The song is repetitive enough that even N soon finds it annoying, and begins to try and tickle Jackson out of singing it. In between gasps, Jackson presses on. When he gets to four, he changes up the lyrics a bit. "Four big bottles, standing on the wall. Yook Duk, Hyuk-ddi, Wang Kong and Dolbaegi! If one poor Yook Duk should accidentally fall, there'll be three big bottles, standing on the wall."
N groans, sitting up. "Is there to be no end to this?"
Jackson persists nevertheless, until he's finally singing, "If one poor Wang Kong should accidentally fall..."
"I'm sure Dolbaegi would fall with him," N says, voice quiet. His eyes are fixed on Jackson, who's gone still, barely daring to breathe. N's lips quirk into a smile. "Is this your way of confessing your love to me?"
"No?" Jackson croaks, mouth dry. N said the L word!
"Well," N says breathlessly, "I think it might be my way of confessing my love to you." N said the L word again! Jackson's heart is beating too quickly. His palms are sweaty and his vision is glazed. Is this what going into cardiac arrest feels like? He thumps his chest experimentally and tries to breathe.
When Jackson doesn't reply, N flushes a painful red and starts pulling back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so forward -- "
"No you weren't!" Jackson wheezes, placing a calming hand on N's arm, because oh my god what would he do if he left. "I just need a moment -- "
N squints at him. "Are you seriously having a heart attack right now?"
"I'm easily excited!" he retorts.
N's eyes crinkle in a fond smile. "I know that."
"So..." Jackson says when he recovers. "Want to hang out some time?"
N laughs. "You're not very good at this, are you?"
"And you are?"
But then N is leaning in, and Jackson forgets what he was about to say.
The last time Jackson meets N is also the first time N kisses him, and the first time he calls him Hakyeon instead.
( or read on AO3 )
Author: slashedsilver
Fandom: Big Byung
Rating: G
Pairing: Jackson Wang (GOT7)/Cha Hakyeon (VIXX)
Word Count: 5,500 words
Summary: Scenes from a growing friendship. Featuring Sungjae and Hyuk as loyal wingmen and GOT7 as the worst supporters of Jackson's romantic life, ever.
The first time Jackson meets N, he doesn't think too much of it. There are too many things that need his attention and focus already.
There's the ever persistent language barrier, except this time he doesn't have someone like Guk Joo noona who will indulge his need for motherly affection and reassurance, or someone like Joon hyung who still has difficulties navigating Korean language and culture after fifteen years, but who assures him that he can do this -- survive this Korean entertainment scene despite being essentially foreign: survive and thrive. But he doesn't have them now. This is variety without his GOT7 or Roommate members. It feels like he's been thrown into the jungle and he needs every last bit of wit and ingenuity to survive.
In his head, he clutches at his imaginary sabre to give him strength.
The other newly drafted members of Big Byung are looking equally reserved and uncertain. Hyungdon and Defconn are so many times more of a handful than when they're safely confined in the filming studio in Basement Three. It's like ravenous lions have been unleashed and they're prowling around the four hapless idol members, waiting for their chance to pounce... His fingers spasm around where the handle of his sabre would have been.
"Are you okay?" a concerned voice asks quietly.
Jackson realises he's been staring, slightly scared, at Hyungdon and Defconn exchanging prickly barbs and comments about the members and each other in rapid fire Korean. It's for the cameras, he tells himself, only for the cameras.
He realises that VIXX's leader N is still waiting patiently for his response, though he's starting to look more worried with each second Jackson doesn't respond.
Jackson scrubs his face and adjusts his snapback to sit at a more jaunty angle. "I'm fine!" he exclaims, pasting a wide grin on his face. "I'm just getting hungry." He laughs, a little too loudly. "I can go without sleep, you know, but I can't go without food. When do you think they'll let us eat again?"
N's face breaks into a warm smile and doesn't let himself get sidetracked. He nods slightly at Hyungdon and Defconn, still hamming it up in front of the cameras. "They can be quite intimidating, can't they? I mean, we've done variety before, but it's always just been VIXX, you know? Or with someone interviewing us, getting to know us." His smile turns rueful. "No one's outright tried to bait us and undercut us before. But I guess it's their style. We'll just have to get used to it."
"I find variety really difficult to shoot," Jackson blurts, then slaps a hand over his mouth. He doesn't mean to confide in N -- someone he's just barely met -- but N is nodding in understanding, and his eyes are sympathetic and remind him just a bit of something comforting and familiar, so Jackson goes on. "Well, it's not so much the language -- most of the time -- but all the cultural references I don't get. The viewers see it and laugh and enjoy it but..." It's not nice being known on national television as the foreigner who doesn't get anything. "I don't understand why I'm being cast all the time," he finishes instead.
The cameras are being shifted into place, and the crew is making noise about starting to film again, so Jackson assumes their brief conversation is over. He's about to obediently shuffle back into position when N lays a hand on his arm. He turns back to compassionate brown eyes.
"Variety will get easier to film the more you do it," N says with all the experience of someone two years more senior in the industry. "You have a natural honesty and an upright character that draws people to you; that's why you're getting cast so much. Don't think too much about it, just be yourself." N flashes him a last encouraging smile and nudges him back to the group.
The first time Jackson meets N, even though he doesn't know him well yet, he thinks that he's very kind.
~*~
The second time they meet, they're listening to the sample track Defconn has prepared for their debut.
It's N's turn to get worried. It shows on his face as the filming extends into the late night. His training as a vocalist shows through: he raps his lines like they're a melody. Hyungdon and Defconn are looking increasingly irritated with his attempts, faces getting darker and darker as the recording wears on. Jackson has stopped trying to figure out if their short tempers are just for the sake of the show.
Jackson struggles with the language but at least he has the skill down pat. He isn't a born rapper and neither did he develop an interest in it from an early age, not like Bam Bam, but it's the role he's been trained for at JYP and it's comfortable to him like a second skin. Confidence comes easily to him, always has, and he can inject enough swag and brashness that is half the battle won when it comes to rap.
N, though, is heartbreakingly uncertain of himself. For all the praises he sings of himself, Jackson identifies it easily -- a false bravado that hides his insecurities. Because if he exaggerates his strengths and he's laughed at, he can wave it away as a joke. Jackson wonders if he even believes the things about himself that are true.
After they fail again to meet up to Hyungdon's expectations, the two producers announce a practice break.
"You guys haven't practiced at all, have you?" Hyungdon says critically. He snorts, the camera lapping up every move. "What do you think we gave you the lyrics for?"
Jackson looks around at the other members, exhaustion on their faces from their packed schedules, lyrics sheets crumpled and well-worn in their hands. He stares down at his own sheet, his part carefully underlined and highlighted, with romanised annotations to help him pronounce his lines more accurately. They've all been practicing. It's the curse of being an idol: You never know if your effort is going to be enough, and so you just work as hard as you can, running as hard as you can in the hopes that it'll pay off.
The cameras stop rolling and the crew discusses the next shot. Defconn wipes off his sweat and hands a bottle of water to Hyungdon.
N excuses himself from the room, lyrics clutched in his hand. Jackson watches him go and wonders if he dares to follow.
Just then, the staff approach him. "We'll be filming the members practicing in separate places. Does JYP have enough practice rooms or places they can be? Locations like stairwells are fine too, it'd be best if we can have a variety of settings."
Jackson obligingly plays host, of course, sorting them out.
Ten minutes later, the crew has been deployed to the other locations within the building and are getting ready to move out. Jackson grabs the opportunity to look for N. He finds him at the fire escape near the room they were in. He's not resting; he's still practicing his lines.
Jackson watches him as he tries out different tones and expressions, feeling surprisingly unwilling to interrupt him.
So the second time they meet, Jackson thinks N works really hard and is probably much too harsh on himself. He wonders what it must be like to be under N as the leader of VIXX. He wonders if they might have become close. He wonders if he could have helped to shoulder some of that stress.
The next time they film, though, N's rap has improved tremendously.
"I got Ravi to make me a vocal guide," he confides as he lifts his hand to meet Jackson's excited high five. "I memorised it."
Jackson grins, ridiculously proud. "I won't tell."
~*~
N is the lead dancer of VIXX.
Jackson knows this, but he only fully realises what it means when Hyungdon and Defconn force N to dance.
It's a break, a brief break while the crew checks to see if they have enough material for another episode. They're on the verge of calling it a day for the night (or early morning, more accurately) and everyone's in a sort of relieved, exhaustion-tinged mood.
It's in this atmosphere that Hyungdon gestures towards N. "You and Hyuk-ddi missed the auditions for Big Byung. Since we've recorded already, it can't be helped. But we should verify that you're truly worthy of being in this project group."
Hyuk and N freeze, shooting matching looks of despair at each other, but Defconn is nodding already and pushing them to the forefront. "That's a great idea. Why don't you two show us what you've got?"
There are still a few errant cameras rolling, so one of the cameramen, sensing a potential video moment, shifts the lens over to get a good angle of the torture.
N is blinking tired eyes from the exhaustion of filming a drama, a variety show, and preparing for a comeback all at the same time, so Hyuk volunteers to go first, having taken pity on his hyung.
"I'll be showing my impressions!" he announces, with all the vigour of the young. Jackson doesn't recognise a single one of his imitations, but judging from Sungjae, Hyungdon and Defconn's reactions, it's a mighty fail.
"We can't air this," Hyungdon says, an exaggerated look of disgust on his face. "This is just too bad." Oblivious, Hyuk beams irrepressibly.
N watches attentively, laughs in the right places, then gets up and limbers up for his turn. "I'll show a dance for my audition," he says. "Can I have some music please? Any sort of music."
Jackson will always wonder what would have happened if the staff had put on a silly song instead. Or even a trot song; he'd like to see N try to make trot appealing.
But what happens is that the chorus of GOT7's "I Like You" starts to play. Jackson leaps to his feet and yells in excitement when he recognises the song, but is quickly shushed by Hyungdon. He pouts, but sits down obediently to watch N.
N feels his way into the song; he doesn't know the choreography, but the beat is steady and seductive and he hits them with moves that are smooth yet strong. Jackson's mouth drops open -- N is good. He's got a control of his body that can only come with classical training, but he never lets his technique get in the way of his obvious enjoyment of the music.
And then he brings out the body waves. Jackson has to hide behind his hands, feeling his face burn with every sinuous movement.
At the end of it, they're still staring.
"We can't use that," Defconn says faintly. "It goes against the concept of the show."
"How dare you be so sexy?" Hyungdon demands, and just like that, sexy Dolbaegi is born.
N smiles easily, apparently unaware that the entire cast and crew are going to be dreaming of him and his body waves that night. Except Hyuk, of course, who's the only one unfazed by the dance. He's probably seen it a million times, Jackson realises.
Jackson doesn't realise everyone is looking at him expectantly until the sudden silence inches into his awareness. "Hey!" he exclaims belatedly. "I'm supposed to be wild and sexy!"
"Looks like N is giving you a run for your money," Sungjae says, sniggering.
When filming finally ends for the day, Jackson goes back to his dorm with the annoying refrain of, "I like you, I Iike you," repeating in his head as N dances in his memory. If he gorges himself on VIXX's dance practice videos afterwards, well, who's to know?
~*~
It's the day of their music video filming. They show up at Hongdae way too early and on far too little sleep, but idols do what idols must. Jackson has almost gotten used to surviving on three hours of sleep; less if he needs to film some footage for Roommate or pull up his favourite Cha Hakyeon videos to watch before he turns in for the night. (Seo Kang Joon is not amused by his nightly habits.)
They turn up in their Big Byung jerseys, and even though they're incredibly unfashionable (Jackson, N and Sungjae had all opted to salvage some idol dignity by wearing snapbacks with their uniforms), Jackson can't help but feel proud at their team uniforms. It feels like they're really doing this together.
He beams at N, who grins at his obvious excitement. "Can't wait to film?"
"I have a good feeling about it!" Jackson bounces on his heels. N reaches out and ruffles his hair fondly. N is touching him. Jackson feels a thrill go through his body and tries to calm himself but fails, launching himself at N instead. N just laughs and lets Jackson hang off his shoulders.
The sun is shining brightly and it's going to be a beautiful day.
"All right kids, we're going to get some basic filming done today. Using this phone." Hyungdon and Defconn laugh at the four identical looks of horror, and that's when Jackson knows that he's wrong, dead wrong.
They waste almost an hour trying to take the footage using one of the writers' mobile phone because Hyungdon thought it would be funny. The quality is going to suck. Who uploads home videos taken on a phone anymore?
Jackson tries not to let his perpetual optimism flag, but it's difficult.
"Hanging in there?" Hyuk asks during a break, as the producers figure out how they're going to film the shots.
Jackson swallows the drag of water he took. "By the edges of my fingers."
Sungjae comes and drapes himself over Hyuk, and N inches closer as well. They are four bottles pulled out of their usual groups and subjected to the harsh variety world of Doni and Coni. They are bonding in their pain. Like some sort of training boot camp.
"On the bright side, it looks like we can probably finish filming in one day," N says bracingly.
Jackson shoots him a look. "Only because we're going for the low-budget concept."
"Do you think anyone's even going to watch the MV?" Hyuk laments.
"Besides our own members, you mean?"
They grin at one another.
"Okay kids," Defconn announces, calling them back to attention. "We'll do the opening scene first, where we introduce each member."
"Can I do it sexily?" N jokes, mood buoyed by their brief break.
Jackson's heart skips a beat. He very carefully does not mention the videos he's been watching. (N, with a blindfold, dancing as if he could feel the music in his bones; N, dressed as a girl, all sleek moves and sensuous expressions that made Jackson slack-jawed and then hit his head soundly on the table for ever clicking on that link; N and Hongbin, and was that a performance or were they just making out?!)
He wants to hit somebody. Maybe the floor.
"You can just lie there like a stone," Hyungdon says, unimpressed.
But when the actual filming happens, N can't seem to control himself. He slips and slides into new poses, and even manages to make lying down sexy.
Jackson watches N sprawled out over a rock. It should be silly but for some reason he can't make himself laugh. He watches him with all the intensity of a creeper and feels sorry for ever calling Jinyoung a pervert.
~*~
Filming wraps up all too soon. Jackson has a million regrets (why didn't he ask N if he wanted to catch dinner together? Or give him a private performance of the blindfold dance -- strictly for professional learning purposes, of course) but then they're all exchanging final hugs and N is warm and comfortable, arms tight around him. N's hair tickles his cheek, just a little, and Jackson forgets what he wanted to say.
They don't see each other for a few months. VIXX has their comeback; GOT7 is busy preparing for theirs. Their comeback date is soon -- tantalisingly soon. There's a chance that their promotion periods might overlap. Jackson works all the more harder, hoping that if he can help them perfect their dance, they can stand on stage sooner.
When he isn't practicing, he's monitoring VIXX's stages with intensity. Jinyoung catches him once, poring over their latest Show Champion appearance on his tablet. Thinking quickly, Jackson makes the excuse that he's searching for good choreography they can use for their own performances.
"We're still rookies," Jackson explains, full of earnesty. "We should be continually looking to our sunbaes to improve."
"But we already have the choreography to Stop Stop It," Jinyoung says, puzzled. "And it's not like the dance concepts of our two groups are compatible at all." He stares at the screen for a while, watching as N performs Jackson's favourite part of the choreography. "Oh -- that guy dances well."
"Doesn't he!" Jackson exclaims excitedly. "His control over his body -- and his expressions -- "
Jinyoung pats him on his shoulder. "Sounds like someone's got a crush."
Jackson is horrified. He just appreciates good dancing, that's all. He throws a cushion at Jinyoung, but he dodges out of the way.
GOT7 has their comeback at the tail-end of VIXX's promotion. They've already racked up five wins for Error, a personal best, and Jackson has never felt prouder. He and Sungjae send congratulatory messages into their Kakao chat group for every single win. N and Hyuk are too busy to celebrate in the thick of their promotion period, but reply with an invitation to eat meat together after it ends. Jackson treasures it like a promise.
The day of GOT7's comeback, Jackson bounds with overwhelming excitement into the salon and the dressing room.
"It's too early in the morning for all this energy," Bambam whines.
Youngjae grumbles, still half-asleep, "Someone sure is in a good mood. Can't wait to stand on stage again?"
"Oh, he's just hoping to see his boyfriend at the station today," Jinyoung says with a yawn.
The rest of the members perk up with interest, like scavengers scenting a kill. Jackson vows to murder that gossip of a Park Jinyoung.
Backstage, Jackson catches irritatingly short glimpses of N who seems all the more busy. He spots Hyuk, though, and drapes himself over him when they meet in the waiting rooms. ("Could you possibly be -- VIXX?" Hyuk plays right along to his wide-eyed fangirl act, and all the while Jackson is wondering where N is and if he would walk by.)
And then the day comes when they tell him Hitmaker will be back for a second season. Jackson pumps his fist in determination. He's not going to miss his chance this time.
"Stop hogging the sofa," Mark complains, kicking him off the couch. "Go watch your goth videos elsewhere."
Jackson draws himself up in as dignified a manner as he knows how. "VIXX has a cyborg concept this time. There's nothing goth about it."
Mark plugs in his earphones and ignores him.
Unfazed, Jackson pulls up another Cha Hakyeon dance video.
~*~
Their first meeting after three months feels like they were never apart.
Jackson grabs N into a huge hug which N returns with enthusiasm. He gives N a piggyback. He compliments N. N turns to him when Hyungdon and Defconn tease him and he comforts him. They spend days in each other's presence. It's glorious.
He's trying to tell them who he thinks is the person responsible for VIXX's success. Baited by the two producers, as usual.
"If it's VIXX -- " he begins, searching for the words.
"Then it's Leo!" Hyungdon interrupts heartily.
N's expression stays carefully neutral but Jackson can see him brimming with pride when his member's name is mentioned. He wonders if he'll have to fight Leo for N's attention. Bracing himself for battle, Jackson cracks his knuckles menacingly, one by one.
"Stop doing that," Sungjae says, swatting at his fingers. "That's bad for your joints."
~*~
The first time they go for a date together, it's a date only in Jackson's head.
"Invite your boyfriend over!" Jinyoung teases as he gets ready to leave the dorm. "We wanna see him."
"Yes, and make sure he's worthy of you." Jaebum winks, truly playful in the way he only is when Jinyoung is around.
Jackson holds up a forestalling hand. "Stay at home kids, and be good. I'm going out with Biiiiig Byung!" He waves and opens their apartment door.
"Make sure you keep your byung in check," Bambam suggests as Jackson steps out, and then laughs like a hyena at his own dirty joke. Jackson very calmly shuts the door on them.
They're watching a movie tonight. It's the first time they're hanging out with each other outside of the show. Well, Jackson amends mentally, the first time he's hanging out with them. BTOB and VIXX have probably had many occasions where they've done stuff like radio or variety shows together, considering they'd debuted around the same time. But they're Big Byung now, and he has the perfect cover for a date.
Jackson does a mighty fist pump in the middle of the road, startling an old lady who scolds him in satoori once she gets over her shock. Even that can't wipe off the large grin on his face.
N and Hyuk are already waiting at the ticketing booth outside the theatre when he arrives.
"Hey!" he says breathlessly. N looks good, he notes absently, in a neatly cut dark grey coat that showed off his slimness and a red scarf wrapped around his neck, mouth crinkled in a welcoming grin.
"Sungjae's gone to get popcorn," N explains. "We haven't chosen a movie yet."
Right on cue, Sungjae returns with two huge boxes of popcorn in tow. "So have you guys decided what you want to watch?"
"N-hyung hates horror movies," Hyuk offers helpfully, and Jackson and Sungjae's eyes light up. N groans in protest but the damage is done. Hyuk is already half on his way to the ticketing counter with Sungjae in tow.
When they file into the theatre, Jackson makes sure he slides into the seat right beside N, jostling Sungjae a little in his eagerness. Sungjae gives him a look but obligingly takes the seat beside Hyuk. N sits down with the air of a man going to his own execution. He balances his backpack on his knees like a shield between himself and the screen.
"You can have my shoulder if you'd like!" Jackson exclaims, seeing an opportunity. He thrusts his arm towards N. "I don't mind."
N says, with as much dignity as he can muster, "It's okay. I can manage." He lasts about ten minutes before he's cowering sideways into Jackson. Jackson slings an arm around him and feels invincible, protecting N against the terrors of vengeful ghosts.
When they leave the theatre two hours later, N is still twined around Jackson's arm. Jackson reaches around with his other hand to pat his back, saying soothing nonsense as N whimpers into his ear. Hyuk and Sungjae are laughing hysterically about the show in front of them.
It's the best movie ever.
Jackson manfully refrains from hauling them back into the theatre for an encore.
~*~
Big Byung gets to open the Gayo Daejun together. Though they have to share the stage with the MCs, standing together on stage as Big Byung is pretty awesome.
Jackson is pumped with energy, N is charismatic and flirty, Sungjae is effortlessly charming, and Hyuk, no matter how many times he tries to deny it, is attractively cute. Two minutes are too short, and then Jackson has to go on stage with GOT7 while the other three exchange high fives and take selfies. N at least has the decency to look slightly apologetic as Jackson reluctantly leaves to get ready.
As they count down to the new year together with all the other idols, Jackson sidles up to N, who's conveniently standing next to GOT7 with the rest of VIXX.
"Happy new year!" Jackson cries, and plants a wet kiss on the side of N's cheek.
N promptly goes red.
Seized with sudden terror, Jackson chickens out and gives a huge smacking kiss to Hyuk, who's watching them with an amused smirk on his face, and then whirls around and grabs Sungjae as well for good measure.
When he releases him, it's to see Sungjae rolling his eyes at him. "Hyung. I'm fine with being used as a shield, but could you be a little less obvious about it?"
He jerks and slaps a hand over Sungjae's mouth in fright, looking around to see if N has heard, but he's too busy greeting Girl's Day to notice.
Sungjae's mouth is moving under his palm. He snatches it away. "What?"
"I said, if you weren't so busy looking for wingmen, you would have noticed that N-hyung is just as head over heels for you."
It suddenly feels like there isn't enough oxygen in the open-air stadium. "Really?"
"Stop being so unconfident," Sungjae admonishes. "Aren't you supposed to be wild and sexy?"
"Jackson is," he says miserably. "I'm just a fanboy."
Sungjae smacks the back of his head. "Get with the program, bro. We've just established that this pining is mutual. Just ask Hyuk. A tip for you -- " he says, leaning in with the air of someone divulging a great secret, "always get insider news when you can."
N ambles over at that point, having finished the rest of his polite greetings. "What's up? Happy new year, Sungjae!"
As N turns to pull Sungjae into an obligatory hug, Sungjae mouths at Jackson, "You've got this!" Jackson cringes and makes faces at Sungjae and almost doesn't notice that N is holding out his arms expectantly to him next.
He grabs him and pulls him into a hug. "Happy new year," he breathes into N's ear, and is gratified to feel him shiver.
~*~
The next time they're together again, it's because Hyuk has arranged for him and Sungjae to come over to Jellyfish Entertainment's practice studio. "To practice our new song, of course."
Jackson seizes the opportunity with two hands, even if he has to squeeze it in between stretches of filming for Roommate. He begs out of the afternoon filming pleading a stomachache, turning large plaintive eyes onto Kang Joon. Kang Joon snorts at him and points out that he's never missed anything for a stomach upset before, but sportingly goes to make his excuses. There's more than enough of them to film the car ride into the suburbs and his roommates accept it with good grace.
When he arrives at Jellyfish, he bumps into Leo, who's on his way out. Leo stares at him inscrutably as he fumbles to catch his balance and greet him at the same time. He does not move out of Jackson's way. Jackson is about to apologise and maybe find a casual way to slide in around him when he suddenly speaks.
"So when are you going to make your move?" Leo says, apropos of nothing.
"Um, I can't... you're kind of standing in the entrance right now," Jackson says, trying to maintain a carefully polite tone. Leo is, after all, his senior. And even if he weren't, that deadly aura around him is enough to strike fear into the hearts of lesser morals.
Leo waves an impatient hand. "Not that -- I meant on Hakyeon."
Jackson's face flames red. He wants to bury himself in the dirt. Does everyone know?
"Stop wasting time," Leo advises, or rather, orders. He adds cryptically, "Or I'll make you regret it."
Jackson tries to wrap his head around what Leo's said (is he offering friendly advice? Threatening physical violence? Does he mean he wants to make a move on N? What is it?) but before he has a chance to ask, Leo has swept off into the street.
"What are you doing out there?" Hyuk pokes his head out of the door. "Come on in."
"Is Leo always that scary?" he blurts as he follows Hyuk in.
Hyuk pauses and squints at him assessingly. "Ah," he says. "You got the 'hurt him and I'll make you pay' talk."
"Does he do that to everyone?" Jackson can't help but ask.
"Only those who look like they may be serious about coming on to N-hyung." Hyuk says it completely nonchalantly. "You are serious right? You have like the worst crush ever."
Jackson opens his mouth (maybe to ask desperately if N has realised) when he's interrupted by a loud exclamation.
"Ah, it's N-hyung's suitor!" Someone with amused eyes and lips curved into a smile comes into view.
"Ken-hyung, stop teasing him."
"Don't worry," Ken says, addressing Jackson directly. "You can do this. Fighting!"
Jackson gives a faint smile in response and Ken disappears down the hallway.
"Are you getting cold feet right now?" Hyuk says disapprovingly. "Just so you know, Sungjae and I didn't set this up for fun."
"What?" Jackson says weakly. "I didn't realise I was supposed to do anything."
Hyuk trains a stern look on him. "Hitmaker is going to end in a few weeks. We don't know if there's going to be a season three. If you don't do something now, you might as well give N-hyung up for good." He leans in menacingly and prods Jackson's shoulder. "And I can tell you there are plenty of other fish where you came from."
If there's one thing Jackson learns, it's to never underestimate the VIXX maknae.
"There you are!" N greets them as they enter. He and Sungjae are getting comfortable with their lyric sheets on the floor. He looks beautiful in his training slacks and simple T-shirt, and that's Jackson knows for sure that he's screwed.
They loll around and practice a bit and then Sungjae and Hyuk make their excuses to leave one after the other, shooting him meaningful looks as they go.
Jackson gulps and panics a little, because he is not ready and can't really think beyond that rap that they've been practicing and the warmth of N sitting so close and the way their knees bump sometimes when he shifts and he really should be thinking of what he's going to do to make N fall in love with him in the ten minutes he has.
N stretches out on the floor of the training room, comfortable in his own skin and his own dance studio. Jackson's mouth goes dry. Okay, this is it. This is it. He braces himself and proceeds to say something suave. Too bad there's nothing in his brain to help him right now, except, most inanely, Bambam's stupid Big Byung joke.
"Have you heard that song before?" he blurts, suddenly inspired. "Ten green bottles, standing on the wall."
N shakes his head, glancing up at him from the floor. "Why don't you sing it for me?"
"See, it should be like our Big Byung theme song. Since we're all bottles." Jackson opens his mouth and starts singing.
The song is repetitive enough that even N soon finds it annoying, and begins to try and tickle Jackson out of singing it. In between gasps, Jackson presses on. When he gets to four, he changes up the lyrics a bit. "Four big bottles, standing on the wall. Yook Duk, Hyuk-ddi, Wang Kong and Dolbaegi! If one poor Yook Duk should accidentally fall, there'll be three big bottles, standing on the wall."
N groans, sitting up. "Is there to be no end to this?"
Jackson persists nevertheless, until he's finally singing, "If one poor Wang Kong should accidentally fall..."
"I'm sure Dolbaegi would fall with him," N says, voice quiet. His eyes are fixed on Jackson, who's gone still, barely daring to breathe. N's lips quirk into a smile. "Is this your way of confessing your love to me?"
"No?" Jackson croaks, mouth dry. N said the L word!
"Well," N says breathlessly, "I think it might be my way of confessing my love to you." N said the L word again! Jackson's heart is beating too quickly. His palms are sweaty and his vision is glazed. Is this what going into cardiac arrest feels like? He thumps his chest experimentally and tries to breathe.
When Jackson doesn't reply, N flushes a painful red and starts pulling back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so forward -- "
"No you weren't!" Jackson wheezes, placing a calming hand on N's arm, because oh my god what would he do if he left. "I just need a moment -- "
N squints at him. "Are you seriously having a heart attack right now?"
"I'm easily excited!" he retorts.
N's eyes crinkle in a fond smile. "I know that."
"So..." Jackson says when he recovers. "Want to hang out some time?"
N laughs. "You're not very good at this, are you?"
"And you are?"
But then N is leaning in, and Jackson forgets what he was about to say.
The last time Jackson meets N is also the first time N kisses him, and the first time he calls him Hakyeon instead.
( or read on AO3 )