(no subject)
Title: Tabloids 2
Author: spilledxperfume
Pairing: past Gerard/Russell Brand, Gerard/Frank
Summary: Frank gets jealous of Gerard's relationship with a British comedian. Frank realizes he has been an idiot. Hijinks ensue.
Warnings: A very cheesy top hat.
Beta: I have no beta. But I am a spelling and grammar Nazi. Feel free to point out any mistakes.
Author's note: Dedicated to zzakerhyus who accidentally inspired cheesy top hat sex. Thanks, man.
Disclaimer: Insert witty disclaimer here. Not real.
Gerard was on the couch in the lounge staring at his laptop and giggling. Frank stared at him, willing him to shut up. Frank was annoyed. Ever since that night in England, Gerard had been talking about Russell Brand non-stop. It was always "Russell says this" or "Russell did this crazy thing today" or "Russell was hanging out with Diddy and..." Frank was sick of it. Having had enough, he slammed his book shut and stomped away. Gerard didn't even notice.
Mikey noticed, though. "Frank, what are you doing? I can't hear my music."
"Nothing," Frank snapped. "Definitely not plotting to murder Russell fucking Brand in his sleep."
"Woah, spewing vitriol."
"I hate that guy. Why does Gerard think he's so fucking great anyway? He's not even funny!" Frank cried.
Mikey chuckled. "Someone's jealous," he muttered, disappearing back into his bunk.
"I am not," Frank said under his breath. He continued through to the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face, and went to bed.
That night, laying in bed, Frank's feelings came to a head. This had gone on for long enough. He was sick of this stupid burning jealousy in his stomach every time Gerard checked his e-mail and he just KNEW that the stupid Brit had sent Gee another e-mail. It had to end and Frank was going to be the one to do it. He clenched his fists in the sheets as a plan formed in his mind. It had to work or...well, Frank didn't know what he'd do.
In the morning, Frank booted up his laptop even before he'd had any coffee. Someone shoved a mug at him and he took it, not even looking up to thank them. Tapping away, he passed through the morning and most of the afternoon on his computer. Nobody knew what to make of it, except Mikey, who just grinned and wouldn't tell anyone what he thought was going on.
Some time around 6, Frank pulled Mikey into the studio and locked the door behind him.
"Woah, thought you liked my brother, dude."
"Yeah, Mikes, do me," Frank deadpanned.
Mikey snorted. "So yeah. I'm straight."
"I need your help," Frank said.
"Duh."
"I want to prove to Gerard that I love him and that I'm better than that British weirdo and that we should make babies together," Frank said, "And I need you to tell me if I'm doing it right. You know Gee better than anyone."
"Well, do you have a plan at least?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah. I just need you to glance over it and tell me if it's totally stupid or if you think he'll like it."
Mikey reached out for the sheaf of paper Frank was thrusting at him and scanned each page critically. Finally, he straightened the stack, handed it to Frank and said "It'll work. For sure. But Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Wear a top hat. Trust me."
Frank snickered. "Excuse me?"
"He has this thing...about top hats...don't even ask me how I know because it scarred me for life. But just wear a top hat."
"If you say so," Frank said dubiously. He unlocked the door of the studio and he and Mikey left together. On their way out, Gerard passed them on his way to the bathroom. He raised his eyebrows at the pair.
"What were you doing in there?" he demanded suspiciously.
"Um. Nothing?" Mikey said.
"Whatever," Gerard said sullenly. "Don't tell me. I'm not your big brother or best friend or anything."
Frank laughed. "Why do you care? I'm sure whatever Russell did today is far more interesting than my clandestine meetings with Mikey."
"Ouch," said Mikey, stepping away. "You two have issues."
Frank snorted. "I'm going to bed."
"It's four in the afternoon, Frank," Gerard said, folding his arms.
"Yeah? I'm tired."
"Can we just talk about this? You've been pissed at me since we left England."
"I said I'm tired. I have shit to do later."
"Fine," said Gerard, walking away. Frank noticed with a pang, that he looked hurt. He climbed into his bunk and fell asleep, despite not actually being tired.
When Frank woke up about an hour later, the bus was silent. He poked his head out of the bunk, looking around curiously. He heard soft voices coming from the lounge, followed by a quickly stifled sob. He cocked his head curiously as he slid to the floor and made his way towards the noises. Peeking around the corner, he was surprised to see Gerard cuddling Ray, his face all blotchy and red. "I don't even know what I did, Ray," Gerard was saying helplessly.
Ray petted Gerard's head fondly and muttered, "It's not you, Gee, it's him. I've noticed it too. I can kick his ass if you want."
Gerard shook his head, clearly miserable. "Don't do that. I just wish I knew what was going on with him."
Ray looked up and spotted Frank spying on them. He frowned and made a "go-away" gesture, so Frank left, his head full of what he'd just heard. He had a hunch they'd been talking about him and he felt like scum. He'd made Gerard cry. He knew that he'd have to apologize and put his plan for seduction on the fast track. Of course, that meant cutting some corners and making do, but for Gerard, he hoped it would be enough. He got out his laptop and started re-arranging his scheme.
It was dark when the bus finally stopped for the night. Everyone was confused when Frank called a cab and rushed away, mumbling excuses. "He wants to get away from me," Gerard muttered, hanging his head. Mikey slung an arm around his shoulder.
"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," he said. Gerard just sighed.
Around 11 p.m., Frank arrived back at the hotel with a number of mysterious packages. He checked into his room without talking to anyone and spent several minutes inside making lots of noise and the occasional loud curse. Finally, he emerged and knocked loudly on Gerard's door. Gerard answered his door, confused. "Frank?" he said in surprise.
Frank was wearing a perfectly tailored tux, complete with tails and a top hat. "Will you do me the great honor of accompanying me?" he asked with a low, formal bow.
Gerard just stared.
"Gee?"
"Um. What?"
"I'm asking you to accomany me," Frank said.
"You're wearing a top hat," Gerard replied in a choked sort of voice.
"Yes. I am. And they're waiting outside for us, so will you please close the door behind you and ACCOMPANY ME?"
"O-okay."
Frank stuck out his arm and Gerard, unsure, took it. "What's going on, Frankie?" he asked.
Frank stopped and turned to face him. "Gee, all you need to know right now is that I'm sorry I was such a dick. I didn't mean anything by it, really. I just-I got jealous. Forgive me?"
Gerard really couldn't stay mad, and he melted. "Of course I forgive you," he said with a huge grin.
"Good, now let's go."
Gerard didn't say another word, and allowed Frank to lead him outside, where a horse and buggy were waiting. Gerard gaped.
"Well, come on, get it," Frank said with a mischevious grin. His eyes were twinkling as he climbed up into the carriage and extended an arm to help Gerard.
As soon as they were both settled, the driver took off at a slow but steady pace towards the center of the city. It was magical. The breeze played in Gerard's hair and the stars winked brightly above. And Frank, well, Frank was cheesy. But Gerard loved every second of it. They trotted into a small, deserted park where up ahead, a grotto covered in fairy lights waited.
Frank alit from the buggy and Gerard followed, amazed. "Frank? What's going on?" he whispered, afraid to ruin it. That was when he spotted a table set for two, complete with romantic taper candles, rose petals, and all of his favorite junk food.
"Come on, it's waiting," Frank said. He pulled out a chair for Gerard, and than sat across from him, smiling. He uncovered a platter of cheese puffs, and gestured to the orange soda chilling in a silver ice bucket.
For over an hour, they talked and laughed softly, enjoying one another's company for the first time in a while. But Gerard's curiousity eventually got the better of him. He set down his orange soda and wiped his hands on a napkin. "Frank," he said seriously, "This has been awesome. But what's going on?"
Frank sighed. It was time to bite the bullet and just go for it. "Okay, here's the thing. After London, I got really annoyed with how you kept talking about Russell all the time. I mean, I get that you guys are together, but it just really bothered me. And eventually, I realized I was jealous. Like, crazy jealous. And I know I should be happy for you, you've got Russell and everything, but I decided I had to at least try, right? I know, it's stupid, but...God I sound like an idiot. I'm sorry," he finished with a sigh.
Gerard was silent for a minute, and Frank was scared he'd blown it. But then, Gerard opened his mouth and said "Frankie...Russ and I aren't together."
"WHAT?" Frank yelled. "You mean I've been miserable and jealous for months for no reason?" He put his face in his hands. "Well, I feel like an incredible idiot."
"It's okay, Frankie. I can see how you might've gotten that impression," Gerard said kindly, "And I've been kind of an idiot too. I probably shouldn't have let you think that when I've been going crazy over you too."
Frank peeked hopefully over his fingers. Gerard smiled; Frank really was adorable. He stood up and walked around the table, kneeling in front of Frank. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" he asked earnestly.
"Because I was afraid," Frank said meekly.
Gerard peeled Frank's fingers away from his face a pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Frank hummed happily before breaking away. "So you really liked my big seduction plan?"
"Yeah, it was amazing. How did you manage all this?"
"Hello? Rock star? I know people."
Gerard grinned and kissed Frank again. "I really like the top hat," he said in a low, husky voice. He trailed a finger down the side of Frank's face softly.
"Let's go back to the hotel."
"It'll be faster if we ditch the horse and take a cab."
Frank paid the carriage driver and tugged Gerard to the street where they hailed a cab. They took the stairs two at a time and Gerard fumbled for the keycard to unlock his room. When they got inside, Frank leaned against the door and Gerard stood in front of him, eyes raking up and down Frank's body. Suddenly, Frank launched himself at Gerard and attacked his lips. Their hands moved frantically over each other's bodies, removing clothing as they went. Soon, they were naked and pressed together on the bed. Gerard wouldn't let Frank take off the top hat, but somehow, it was less cheesy when they were breathing heatedly onto each other's necks and grasping each other by their sweaty hips.
"I can't believe this is happening," Gerard whispered.
"I know, I've been waiting forever."
With that, the pair began moving and thrusting, finally acting on the desire they'd kept bottled up for so long. When it was over, Frank lay back, cuddling Gerard. "Worth the wait," he pronounced.
"You are never taking that hat off," Gerard murmured sleepily into Frank's collarbone.
Author: spilledxperfume
Pairing: past Gerard/Russell Brand, Gerard/Frank
Summary: Frank gets jealous of Gerard's relationship with a British comedian. Frank realizes he has been an idiot. Hijinks ensue.
Warnings: A very cheesy top hat.
Beta: I have no beta. But I am a spelling and grammar Nazi. Feel free to point out any mistakes.
Author's note: Dedicated to zzakerhyus who accidentally inspired cheesy top hat sex. Thanks, man.
Disclaimer: Insert witty disclaimer here. Not real.
Gerard was on the couch in the lounge staring at his laptop and giggling. Frank stared at him, willing him to shut up. Frank was annoyed. Ever since that night in England, Gerard had been talking about Russell Brand non-stop. It was always "Russell says this" or "Russell did this crazy thing today" or "Russell was hanging out with Diddy and..." Frank was sick of it. Having had enough, he slammed his book shut and stomped away. Gerard didn't even notice.
Mikey noticed, though. "Frank, what are you doing? I can't hear my music."
"Nothing," Frank snapped. "Definitely not plotting to murder Russell fucking Brand in his sleep."
"Woah, spewing vitriol."
"I hate that guy. Why does Gerard think he's so fucking great anyway? He's not even funny!" Frank cried.
Mikey chuckled. "Someone's jealous," he muttered, disappearing back into his bunk.
"I am not," Frank said under his breath. He continued through to the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face, and went to bed.
That night, laying in bed, Frank's feelings came to a head. This had gone on for long enough. He was sick of this stupid burning jealousy in his stomach every time Gerard checked his e-mail and he just KNEW that the stupid Brit had sent Gee another e-mail. It had to end and Frank was going to be the one to do it. He clenched his fists in the sheets as a plan formed in his mind. It had to work or...well, Frank didn't know what he'd do.
In the morning, Frank booted up his laptop even before he'd had any coffee. Someone shoved a mug at him and he took it, not even looking up to thank them. Tapping away, he passed through the morning and most of the afternoon on his computer. Nobody knew what to make of it, except Mikey, who just grinned and wouldn't tell anyone what he thought was going on.
Some time around 6, Frank pulled Mikey into the studio and locked the door behind him.
"Woah, thought you liked my brother, dude."
"Yeah, Mikes, do me," Frank deadpanned.
Mikey snorted. "So yeah. I'm straight."
"I need your help," Frank said.
"Duh."
"I want to prove to Gerard that I love him and that I'm better than that British weirdo and that we should make babies together," Frank said, "And I need you to tell me if I'm doing it right. You know Gee better than anyone."
"Well, do you have a plan at least?" Mikey asked.
"Yeah. I just need you to glance over it and tell me if it's totally stupid or if you think he'll like it."
Mikey reached out for the sheaf of paper Frank was thrusting at him and scanned each page critically. Finally, he straightened the stack, handed it to Frank and said "It'll work. For sure. But Frank?"
"Yeah?"
"Wear a top hat. Trust me."
Frank snickered. "Excuse me?"
"He has this thing...about top hats...don't even ask me how I know because it scarred me for life. But just wear a top hat."
"If you say so," Frank said dubiously. He unlocked the door of the studio and he and Mikey left together. On their way out, Gerard passed them on his way to the bathroom. He raised his eyebrows at the pair.
"What were you doing in there?" he demanded suspiciously.
"Um. Nothing?" Mikey said.
"Whatever," Gerard said sullenly. "Don't tell me. I'm not your big brother or best friend or anything."
Frank laughed. "Why do you care? I'm sure whatever Russell did today is far more interesting than my clandestine meetings with Mikey."
"Ouch," said Mikey, stepping away. "You two have issues."
Frank snorted. "I'm going to bed."
"It's four in the afternoon, Frank," Gerard said, folding his arms.
"Yeah? I'm tired."
"Can we just talk about this? You've been pissed at me since we left England."
"I said I'm tired. I have shit to do later."
"Fine," said Gerard, walking away. Frank noticed with a pang, that he looked hurt. He climbed into his bunk and fell asleep, despite not actually being tired.
When Frank woke up about an hour later, the bus was silent. He poked his head out of the bunk, looking around curiously. He heard soft voices coming from the lounge, followed by a quickly stifled sob. He cocked his head curiously as he slid to the floor and made his way towards the noises. Peeking around the corner, he was surprised to see Gerard cuddling Ray, his face all blotchy and red. "I don't even know what I did, Ray," Gerard was saying helplessly.
Ray petted Gerard's head fondly and muttered, "It's not you, Gee, it's him. I've noticed it too. I can kick his ass if you want."
Gerard shook his head, clearly miserable. "Don't do that. I just wish I knew what was going on with him."
Ray looked up and spotted Frank spying on them. He frowned and made a "go-away" gesture, so Frank left, his head full of what he'd just heard. He had a hunch they'd been talking about him and he felt like scum. He'd made Gerard cry. He knew that he'd have to apologize and put his plan for seduction on the fast track. Of course, that meant cutting some corners and making do, but for Gerard, he hoped it would be enough. He got out his laptop and started re-arranging his scheme.
It was dark when the bus finally stopped for the night. Everyone was confused when Frank called a cab and rushed away, mumbling excuses. "He wants to get away from me," Gerard muttered, hanging his head. Mikey slung an arm around his shoulder.
"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," he said. Gerard just sighed.
Around 11 p.m., Frank arrived back at the hotel with a number of mysterious packages. He checked into his room without talking to anyone and spent several minutes inside making lots of noise and the occasional loud curse. Finally, he emerged and knocked loudly on Gerard's door. Gerard answered his door, confused. "Frank?" he said in surprise.
Frank was wearing a perfectly tailored tux, complete with tails and a top hat. "Will you do me the great honor of accompanying me?" he asked with a low, formal bow.
Gerard just stared.
"Gee?"
"Um. What?"
"I'm asking you to accomany me," Frank said.
"You're wearing a top hat," Gerard replied in a choked sort of voice.
"Yes. I am. And they're waiting outside for us, so will you please close the door behind you and ACCOMPANY ME?"
"O-okay."
Frank stuck out his arm and Gerard, unsure, took it. "What's going on, Frankie?" he asked.
Frank stopped and turned to face him. "Gee, all you need to know right now is that I'm sorry I was such a dick. I didn't mean anything by it, really. I just-I got jealous. Forgive me?"
Gerard really couldn't stay mad, and he melted. "Of course I forgive you," he said with a huge grin.
"Good, now let's go."
Gerard didn't say another word, and allowed Frank to lead him outside, where a horse and buggy were waiting. Gerard gaped.
"Well, come on, get it," Frank said with a mischevious grin. His eyes were twinkling as he climbed up into the carriage and extended an arm to help Gerard.
As soon as they were both settled, the driver took off at a slow but steady pace towards the center of the city. It was magical. The breeze played in Gerard's hair and the stars winked brightly above. And Frank, well, Frank was cheesy. But Gerard loved every second of it. They trotted into a small, deserted park where up ahead, a grotto covered in fairy lights waited.
Frank alit from the buggy and Gerard followed, amazed. "Frank? What's going on?" he whispered, afraid to ruin it. That was when he spotted a table set for two, complete with romantic taper candles, rose petals, and all of his favorite junk food.
"Come on, it's waiting," Frank said. He pulled out a chair for Gerard, and than sat across from him, smiling. He uncovered a platter of cheese puffs, and gestured to the orange soda chilling in a silver ice bucket.
For over an hour, they talked and laughed softly, enjoying one another's company for the first time in a while. But Gerard's curiousity eventually got the better of him. He set down his orange soda and wiped his hands on a napkin. "Frank," he said seriously, "This has been awesome. But what's going on?"
Frank sighed. It was time to bite the bullet and just go for it. "Okay, here's the thing. After London, I got really annoyed with how you kept talking about Russell all the time. I mean, I get that you guys are together, but it just really bothered me. And eventually, I realized I was jealous. Like, crazy jealous. And I know I should be happy for you, you've got Russell and everything, but I decided I had to at least try, right? I know, it's stupid, but...God I sound like an idiot. I'm sorry," he finished with a sigh.
Gerard was silent for a minute, and Frank was scared he'd blown it. But then, Gerard opened his mouth and said "Frankie...Russ and I aren't together."
"WHAT?" Frank yelled. "You mean I've been miserable and jealous for months for no reason?" He put his face in his hands. "Well, I feel like an incredible idiot."
"It's okay, Frankie. I can see how you might've gotten that impression," Gerard said kindly, "And I've been kind of an idiot too. I probably shouldn't have let you think that when I've been going crazy over you too."
Frank peeked hopefully over his fingers. Gerard smiled; Frank really was adorable. He stood up and walked around the table, kneeling in front of Frank. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" he asked earnestly.
"Because I was afraid," Frank said meekly.
Gerard peeled Frank's fingers away from his face a pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Frank hummed happily before breaking away. "So you really liked my big seduction plan?"
"Yeah, it was amazing. How did you manage all this?"
"Hello? Rock star? I know people."
Gerard grinned and kissed Frank again. "I really like the top hat," he said in a low, husky voice. He trailed a finger down the side of Frank's face softly.
"Let's go back to the hotel."
"It'll be faster if we ditch the horse and take a cab."
Frank paid the carriage driver and tugged Gerard to the street where they hailed a cab. They took the stairs two at a time and Gerard fumbled for the keycard to unlock his room. When they got inside, Frank leaned against the door and Gerard stood in front of him, eyes raking up and down Frank's body. Suddenly, Frank launched himself at Gerard and attacked his lips. Their hands moved frantically over each other's bodies, removing clothing as they went. Soon, they were naked and pressed together on the bed. Gerard wouldn't let Frank take off the top hat, but somehow, it was less cheesy when they were breathing heatedly onto each other's necks and grasping each other by their sweaty hips.
"I can't believe this is happening," Gerard whispered.
"I know, I've been waiting forever."
With that, the pair began moving and thrusting, finally acting on the desire they'd kept bottled up for so long. When it was over, Frank lay back, cuddling Gerard. "Worth the wait," he pronounced.
"You are never taking that hat off," Gerard murmured sleepily into Frank's collarbone.