(no subject)
Rating: eh... I guess R.. mentioning of rape (kind of.. well. hard to explain without giving anything away)
Part: Prologue
Pairing: Bryan Whitemann (the guy on the left ;)) + ?? in the future.. [different pairings mentioned but I won't give anything away here...]
Summary: based off the happenings at St. Paul's
Disclaimer: if you think this EVER happened you obviously have SERIOUS issues
Notes:
*this is the Prologue, which means it kind of explains why Bryan came to St. Pauls. It might be confusing first.
*dedicated to everyone who's part of St. Paul's, mainly fuck_the_ghbus for telling me about it and.. ehm. other reasons ;D
"Bryan....."
Hearing his name in a shaky voice, he laid the magazine he was reading down and turned his head to look in the direction of his door, his younger cousin leaning in the doorframe.
"Yes, David?" He asked, aware that something was up with the 13 years old.
David sniffed a bit, walked towards Bryan's bed and sat down beside him.
He didn't say anything, just hugged Bryan tight and started sobbing heavily.
Bryan didn't know what was going on but hugged David back just as tight, whispering 'everything will be okay' to the kid.
"No, no." Was all he got.
He waited, feeling helpless, until David calmed down again.
He had to wait long.
But eventually David raised his head and looked at him with swollen, watery eyes, his face bright red and wet.
"Am I teasing, Bryan?" He asked, his voice only barely above a whisper.
Bryan's heart started beating faster and faster.
"What do you mean?" He asked, memories flashing in the back of his mind.
David looked at him, his eyes already telling the answer, his mouth working against him. "He said I would end up just like you. He said I made him sick. He said I'd go to hell. He said he'd show me what I deserve. He said he could do everything he wants. He was trying to.. trying to..."
By the end of it the boy was crying heavier than before, only barely able to breath under his sobs.
Bryan couldn't think straight any more.
No.
No.
No.
He just starred at David, shaking his head.
*****
Mrs. Whitemann knocked on the door, even though she knew Bryan wouldn't answer.
When she finally entered, she found her son like he'd been the last weeks. He was curled up in a fetal position, starring into nothing.
She stepped inside the room, sat on his bed beside him and stroked through his hair. She sobbed lightly, trying to compose herself. She wanted to tell him what David's mother had told her, no matter if he answered her or not. She had to try. She had to find out the truth.
"Bryan, I hope you're listening." She started, hoping he would react.
He didn't.
"I will tell you something now, and I hope you answer my questions.."
She paused, inhaled deeply and grabbed for Bryan's hands, making fists.
"Your uncle tried to rape David. He abused him pretty bad. Just because he told him that another guy in his class liked him...."
After she said that Bryan knew what she was going to ask.
He knew he couldn't lie to her.
He started shaking and she watched him with more concern than ever, knowing her deepest fear was true.
"Did your uncle ever do anything to you?"
Bryan started sobbing, silently first but soon he was openly crying. He tried to curl farther into his bed, but his mother gripped him tightly, drawing him close to her body and hugged him harder than she'd ever done in his whole life.
He clinged onto her as if it would make everything he'd done just vanish, make the last year of his life be a long nightmare. Making him forget what he made his uncle do. Making him forget what he made all the others do.
"Mum, I'm sorry" was all he could say when he climbed into her lap, holding on to her like he did when he was a little kid and hid his face in her chest. She rubbed his back like she used to back than, tears streaming down her face.
Tears of pure hate and disgust towards her own brother.
Tears of fear for her litte boy being broken, afraid he wasn't going to be fixed again.
*****
"How is he?" Dorn was sitting down on the couch in the Whitemann's living room, next to Michael, squeezing his hand.
"He talks again, we should be thankful for that." Mr. Whitemann told her as he came out of the kitchen with something to drink for Bryans... friends. He placed the glasses on the table and sat down next to his wife. "I can't say I like what he told me, though."
Mrs. Whitemann wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I really hope we're doing the right thing."
Michael just starred at the ground blankly.
Dorn nodded. "He needs help."
Then Michael began to speak and all eyes were on him. "We should have noticed. We should have seen how he was becoming so avoidant. Why didn't we? How can we say we love somebody and not be aware of how he's destroying himself?"
He finally said what everybody in the room had been thinking since Bryan stopped talking a month ago. Dorn and Michael, both Bryan's lovers and best friends; and his mother and father, they never really noticed how Bryan was beginning to block everything out. They didn't know anything about what he'd done. Everything he'd confessed to his parents during the last days, since the day his mother came into his room and asked him about his uncle, had made them extremely worried.
They sat in silence until Dorn began to speak again.
"I wish he would want to see us. I want him to know that I will never stop loving him, no matter what he did."
"We can't force him. He won't even let David talk to him any more." Mr. Whitemann said, holding his wife's hand. "Dr. Zinter said he feels too guilty. He doesn't understand that nothing of this is really his fault."
"He will be okay." Mrs Whitemann threw in, looking at Dorn. "I just want you both to move on. You need to be his friends now."
Dorn nodded again, wiping the tears from her eyes. She knew Mrs Whitemann was right.
Michael just kept starring holes into the opposide wall. He didn't even listen to what was said. All he knew was that his best friend had tried to kill himself.
Part: Prologue
Pairing: Bryan Whitemann (the guy on the left ;)) + ?? in the future.. [different pairings mentioned but I won't give anything away here...]
Summary: based off the happenings at St. Paul's
Disclaimer: if you think this EVER happened you obviously have SERIOUS issues
Notes:
*this is the Prologue, which means it kind of explains why Bryan came to St. Pauls. It might be confusing first.
*dedicated to everyone who's part of St. Paul's, mainly fuck_the_ghbus for telling me about it and.. ehm. other reasons ;D
"Bryan....."
Hearing his name in a shaky voice, he laid the magazine he was reading down and turned his head to look in the direction of his door, his younger cousin leaning in the doorframe.
"Yes, David?" He asked, aware that something was up with the 13 years old.
David sniffed a bit, walked towards Bryan's bed and sat down beside him.
He didn't say anything, just hugged Bryan tight and started sobbing heavily.
Bryan didn't know what was going on but hugged David back just as tight, whispering 'everything will be okay' to the kid.
"No, no." Was all he got.
He waited, feeling helpless, until David calmed down again.
He had to wait long.
But eventually David raised his head and looked at him with swollen, watery eyes, his face bright red and wet.
"Am I teasing, Bryan?" He asked, his voice only barely above a whisper.
Bryan's heart started beating faster and faster.
"What do you mean?" He asked, memories flashing in the back of his mind.
David looked at him, his eyes already telling the answer, his mouth working against him. "He said I would end up just like you. He said I made him sick. He said I'd go to hell. He said he'd show me what I deserve. He said he could do everything he wants. He was trying to.. trying to..."
By the end of it the boy was crying heavier than before, only barely able to breath under his sobs.
Bryan couldn't think straight any more.
No.
No.
No.
He just starred at David, shaking his head.
*****
Mrs. Whitemann knocked on the door, even though she knew Bryan wouldn't answer.
When she finally entered, she found her son like he'd been the last weeks. He was curled up in a fetal position, starring into nothing.
She stepped inside the room, sat on his bed beside him and stroked through his hair. She sobbed lightly, trying to compose herself. She wanted to tell him what David's mother had told her, no matter if he answered her or not. She had to try. She had to find out the truth.
"Bryan, I hope you're listening." She started, hoping he would react.
He didn't.
"I will tell you something now, and I hope you answer my questions.."
She paused, inhaled deeply and grabbed for Bryan's hands, making fists.
"Your uncle tried to rape David. He abused him pretty bad. Just because he told him that another guy in his class liked him...."
After she said that Bryan knew what she was going to ask.
He knew he couldn't lie to her.
He started shaking and she watched him with more concern than ever, knowing her deepest fear was true.
"Did your uncle ever do anything to you?"
Bryan started sobbing, silently first but soon he was openly crying. He tried to curl farther into his bed, but his mother gripped him tightly, drawing him close to her body and hugged him harder than she'd ever done in his whole life.
He clinged onto her as if it would make everything he'd done just vanish, make the last year of his life be a long nightmare. Making him forget what he made his uncle do. Making him forget what he made all the others do.
"Mum, I'm sorry" was all he could say when he climbed into her lap, holding on to her like he did when he was a little kid and hid his face in her chest. She rubbed his back like she used to back than, tears streaming down her face.
Tears of pure hate and disgust towards her own brother.
Tears of fear for her litte boy being broken, afraid he wasn't going to be fixed again.
*****
"How is he?" Dorn was sitting down on the couch in the Whitemann's living room, next to Michael, squeezing his hand.
"He talks again, we should be thankful for that." Mr. Whitemann told her as he came out of the kitchen with something to drink for Bryans... friends. He placed the glasses on the table and sat down next to his wife. "I can't say I like what he told me, though."
Mrs. Whitemann wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I really hope we're doing the right thing."
Michael just starred at the ground blankly.
Dorn nodded. "He needs help."
Then Michael began to speak and all eyes were on him. "We should have noticed. We should have seen how he was becoming so avoidant. Why didn't we? How can we say we love somebody and not be aware of how he's destroying himself?"
He finally said what everybody in the room had been thinking since Bryan stopped talking a month ago. Dorn and Michael, both Bryan's lovers and best friends; and his mother and father, they never really noticed how Bryan was beginning to block everything out. They didn't know anything about what he'd done. Everything he'd confessed to his parents during the last days, since the day his mother came into his room and asked him about his uncle, had made them extremely worried.
They sat in silence until Dorn began to speak again.
"I wish he would want to see us. I want him to know that I will never stop loving him, no matter what he did."
"We can't force him. He won't even let David talk to him any more." Mr. Whitemann said, holding his wife's hand. "Dr. Zinter said he feels too guilty. He doesn't understand that nothing of this is really his fault."
"He will be okay." Mrs Whitemann threw in, looking at Dorn. "I just want you both to move on. You need to be his friends now."
Dorn nodded again, wiping the tears from her eyes. She knew Mrs Whitemann was right.
Michael just kept starring holes into the opposide wall. He didn't even listen to what was said. All he knew was that his best friend had tried to kill himself.