my heart in my eyes (don't you say a word)
Just for the record, I love you guys.
<3
Not for the presents, but the - effort? Or the surprise(s) or the affection. The knowledge that yeah, you guys care and are there and I can always count on all of you, and what was even better was the fact that they - weren't absolutes; what everyone gave me weren't promises of love or forever or eternal friendship but just. The moments of closeness and joy and sharp bursts of love that might fade but it doesn't matter. I don't care, as long as I have now, and I do.
Words are so imprecise. It's probably ... typical that I was so, so inexplicably sad earlier today after all the gifts; I loved them, and was completely surprised because I really didn't expect anything beyond a hug and a 'Happy Birthday' except from Flo (because she's only been talking about my present for weeks) since it was exams, right, and I got over the whole gifts-thing last year anyway! So the - it surprised me. In an impossibly good way and I love everyone not for the presents but for ... just being themselves BUT IT WAS LIKE, A WELLING OF SADNESS OR LIKE BITTERSWEET THING even though there was NO REASON for me to feel that way at all !! There is something v. wrong with my mood interpreter seriously.
PLUS NO ONE SAID ANYTHING O: ABOUT ANYTHING. I AM LIKE O: O: O:
Also, yes, damn it for like, very long moments - in fact, I'm still considering you know. Um. Just scraping the idea of UWC/overseas entirely and - well, going to RJC. There's nothing actually particularly wrong about RJC for me, y'know; I just like the idea of going overseas, but I won't be horribly depressed if I don't get it.
(I wanted to post lyrics! to Now Or Never but the lyrics site refuses to let me copy/paste and I can't be bothered to type, ergo. No awesome HSM3 lyrics D: )
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
(SHUT UP. THEY ARE ADORABLE . LIKE PUPPIES.)
<3
Not for the presents, but the - effort? Or the surprise(s) or the affection. The knowledge that yeah, you guys care and are there and I can always count on all of you, and what was even better was the fact that they - weren't absolutes; what everyone gave me weren't promises of love or forever or eternal friendship but just. The moments of closeness and joy and sharp bursts of love that might fade but it doesn't matter. I don't care, as long as I have now, and I do.
Words are so imprecise. It's probably ... typical that I was so, so inexplicably sad earlier today after all the gifts; I loved them, and was completely surprised because I really didn't expect anything beyond a hug and a 'Happy Birthday' except from Flo (because she's only been talking about my present for weeks) since it was exams, right, and I got over the whole gifts-thing last year anyway! So the - it surprised me. In an impossibly good way and I love everyone not for the presents but for ... just being themselves BUT IT WAS LIKE, A WELLING OF SADNESS OR LIKE BITTERSWEET THING even though there was NO REASON for me to feel that way at all !! There is something v. wrong with my mood interpreter seriously.
PLUS NO ONE SAID ANYTHING O: ABOUT ANYTHING. I AM LIKE O: O: O:
Also, yes, damn it for like, very long moments - in fact, I'm still considering you know. Um. Just scraping the idea of UWC/overseas entirely and - well, going to RJC. There's nothing actually particularly wrong about RJC for me, y'know; I just like the idea of going overseas, but I won't be horribly depressed if I don't get it.
(I wanted to post lyrics! to Now Or Never but the lyrics site refuses to let me copy/paste and I can't be bothered to type, ergo. No awesome HSM3 lyrics D: )
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
(SHUT UP. THEY ARE ADORABLE . LIKE PUPPIES.)