Still happy -
And that's turning out to be an euphemism for slacking off and not doing work. It's a relatively novel feeling, after two months of frenetic pacing, but it's also mildly scary - and the fact that it's only mildly scary intensifies that fear, which is kind of ironic.
I realized I didn't post about English LJ, the trip to SCWO, even though it made a big impression on me. Or maybe it wasn't enough, and I'm too relaxed to post anything seriously intellectual now, so I won't be doing justice to it, but my general sentiments can be summed up in two words: newfound respect. Yeah, for the feminist movement, especially in Singapore.
Anyway, have been off reading more fanfic even though I distinctly remember telling myself that my fanfic spree ended on Thursday. Hmm. But this writer,frostian is pure genius. When I say that s/he can publish, I mean it, honestly. Few fanfic writers can publish, because fanfic is a very character-centric form, and much of the characters are developed through the reader's personal interpretation. But s/he writes well, and in a sustained fashion, and her plot details (beyond the relationship bit, which is rare, because it doesn't even exist in most other fics) are astounding. If you read the recs, you'll understand:
Garlic & Butter
http://frostian.livejournal.com/51871.html
It's adapted from Ratatouille, my favourite animated film ever, and it is the epitome of well-developed. When the author wrote, Warning: Um, don't read on an empty stomach?, s/he meant it.
Just a little taster (PUN! :D):
“I’m trying out for soccer, but the team’s first meeting is in Avon Hall?”
“Yeah, Coach Tyler’s also Mr. Tyler of American History,” Jared explained. “So he holds his meet-n-shit in his classroom.”
“Meet-n-shit?” Kit echoed.
“Yeah, he meets you then shits all over you,” Jared explained cheerfully. “The man thinks God should walk behind him.”
“Um … maybe I could try out for football,” Kit said slowly. “Or is that meet-n-die here?”
“Well, isn't that a sad sight.”
He turned to find Nana examining him with little kindness. In fact, she looked outright pissed.
“What do you want, Nana?”
“I want my grandson is what I want.”
“Nana, I’m very tired and…”
“Bullshit,” Nana spitted. “That’s utter bullshit. It’s been over two years and you haven’t done a thing to honor your friend.”
Jared looked at Nana. “What?”
“You think you’re the only one in this family I’ve lost? Child, if I named everyone I’ve lost, I could fill a Texas-sized cemetery.” Nana sat down next to Jared. “And if all we do is grieve, we’re just going to fill in another grave. Is that what you want to do for Kit? To dig a grave next to his? Do you think that’s what Kit wanted for you?”
“I don’t know what he wanted for me,” Jared said tonelessly. “I only knew him for like two weeks and he never…”
“And I call bullshit,” Nana snarled. “You wouldn’t be hurting this bad for the boy if he wasn't worthwhile. The pain you’re feeling? That’s your heart telling you someone dear was torn away. I don’t think you’re the type to fall so hard for a pretty face, so he must have said something, done something, that earned such devotion from you.
“He might not have said it out loud, or in a way you could have understood two years ago, but he did and that’s why you’re hurting so bad.”
As a side note, the excerpt (and Jared's and Kit's relationship) convinces me that love at 'first sight' does exist, that you can fall in love with someone you've only known for two weeks. Hell, I fell in the love with the pairing after only a chapter and the reality of it squashed that 'Eh, but this is Jared/Jensen; you can't make me fall in love with Kit!' voice which came out within the first few lines of being introduced to Kit. Also, this fic is proof that true love can come twice.
Like I said, the plot details are overwhelming. This is verging on spoiler-mode, but since I doubt most of you will click on that link, I need to tell you. So first, it begins with Jared's life in school, his relationship with Kit and the discovery of his talent for cooking. Then it follows with his journey throughout Europe learning the art of cooking, from various masters of the field, and then it goes to his dream of setting up an organic restaurant in the outskirts of Washington, surrounded by organic farms and in a co-op community. And then, he meets Jensen, but their relationship doesn't start until another chapter later, after a flood wipes out the town, and Jared goes to New York to set up another restaurant in the similar vein, and the set-up process is so articulately rendered that it'll make you laugh and laugh, and the relationship hasn't even started yet! Usually, I read for the angst and the UST and the fluff, so if the relationship is not firmly began by, say, the third line, I'm through with the fic, but this one drew me in.
Without the use of sex. Yes, I am not kidding you. This is pure PG-13 fic (unless you think homosexuality is like, a 'sensitive subject' and automatically rates a NC-17, in which case, I don't really have anything to say to you, and uh, why are you reading this again?). I read through like, a novella-length PG-13 slash fic. If that's not my final word on its pure awesomeness, I'm not sure what will.
Parting Gifts
http://frostian.livejournal.com/5490.html
This - was actually what made me think s/he deserves to be published, because all the details from the above, cut review was here and actually improved upon, if that could be possible. It's a kidnapping fic, and the details of the crime and drug syndicates, the insurance company's structure, the surveillance and intelligence, the refugee camps (ahh, aren't you curious about that detail :D Go read it!), all of it was thoroughly researched and engaging. Seriously. I haven't met a fanfic writer who dedicated this much research to a fic before.
And the plot threw me. As above, the relationship wasn't the focus at all, but that wasn't, uncharacteristically, a discouragement for me. It was just - beautiful, and being shown how much Jared and Jensen loved each other through other people's accounts was interesting. So is Anna (now, who's Anna? Don't you want to know :D) My heart broke when that happened, and it was as though that had happened to someone I personally knew and loved, and I kept hoping that it wasn't true, that the writer would just use a plot twist to solve it, and that it's actually a red herring, because fanfics are supposed to make you feel good, not - reflect the cruel reality of the world, damn it, but - yeah. I'm not supposed to reveal what 'that' is. Go find out.
Just so you know, Ross is Jensen's middle name. Jared's insanely rich, and he's building this lovely building in the heart of NYC, which is "going to be beautiful. Especially during sunset and sunrise. [Jared's] favorite description is ‘shimmering like gold on a riverbed.’”
“Jared…” Jensen's voice thinned out to a small wheeze when he finally read the banner behind Jared’s desk.
Jared’s smile turned soft and meaningful as Jensen’s eyes widened in shock.
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you - this building’s called Ross Tower, not Padalecki Tower.”
“Jared,” Jensen said in a weak voice, “are you sure you want to do that?”
“I’m sure, Jensen. I’m very sure.”
“What made you want to name it after me?”
“It’s what you said to me after the Twin Towers fell,” Jared said as he stood up and sat on the desk in front of Jensen. “You said evil can win but it can never prevail. That there are still enough people in the world who know what ‘civil’ part of civilization means and will always, always do their best to triumph over those who don’t.
“Coming from someone who’s seen evil win day after day, your words made an impression on me. I want others to know in a roundabout way that what you said is true. So ... yeah, that’s why this building exists in the first place, and why it’s named after you.”
This fic makes you think about things like that. It's not a mindless happy, it's - contentment, and it's a kind of happiness that comes with strength and courage and living, so.
And, there are clever parts. Right after that excerpt above:
“That’s probably the nicest thing you ever said to me, and that’s including your marriage proposal.”
“That wouldn’t be hard since I upchucked all over your shoes right after I asked you to marry me.”
Heh. Well, maybe there isn't enough romantic details (like I said, no graphic details, completely PG-safe), but enough is subjective. You don't need sex when you have love (:
Details to put the following excerpts into perspective:
Jensen was kidnapped. The kidnappers took something away from him, something precious; it's related to music and his guitar. Chris and Steve are - dubious, ex-Alphabet-Agency trained super-soldiers with experience in missions. Like, killing missions, not Christian missions -.- They are now with the insurance company that Jared hires, and is helping him with the kidnapping matter. Fifteen million is the ransom amount. Jared and Jensen had adopted a kid from Romania, where Jensen was (he's a refugee worker and fundraiser.)
"It's his," Jared whispered as he caressed the strings. "Jensen's got real talent, I kept bugging him to cut an album but he wouldn't."
"We'll send it to the lab, just to make sure."
"I want them dead," Jared said, still staring at the guitar. "I don't want them to spend a fucking dime of the money. Not after this ... not after what they've done to him."
"Jared, calm down. You're in shock. You don't know what you're talking about," Chris said gently.
"No," Jared said and met Chris' eyes with a steely gaze. "I was in shock, but I'm not any more. I want the fuckers dead, Chris. Tell me, how much will it cost?"
...
“Do you want to do this?” Chris asked.
“I wouldn’t mind. The money’ll be enough for us to set up our own business and get help for some of our buddies. You know Michaels has to wait for eight fucking months to see a specialist for his kidney problem? He’ll be an addict by the time he finally sees the doc.”
“And there’s Takada,” Chris added.
“Silverman who’s on God knows how many anti-psychotic drugs.”
“I don’t know how much he’ll pay us.”
“Fifteen million, ask him for fifteen million.”
“Jesus, Steve, are you fucking insane?”
“No, it’s a good number, and I think he’ll say yes. In fact, I think he’ll like it.”
“That's a lot of blood money.”
“So what? So what if we get our hands dirty? Silverman, Takada, Michaels, they’ll get the second chance they deserve. The second chance Uncle Sam never gave, the cheap bastard.”
It was then Chris realized his friend was a breath away from throwing punches. He had never seen Steve angry - annoyed, yes, maybe even pissed but never enraged enough to scare him.
“Steve…”
“We got lucky, Chris, you know that, right? I’m never going to run a marathon but we’re not going batshit insane because of pain, real or imagined. All our limbs are in working order, which is more than what half of our friends can say. So what if we kill some piss-ass motherfuckers who decided to make easy money by terrorizing a family? Yeah, Ackles and Padalecki are gay, so who gives a fuck? They rescue a kid rotting away in Romania, bring her here, and against all odds nurse her halfway to normal. Then this shit happens and it’ll probably take them another fucking year before she sees the world right side up.
“So I have no problems erasing the assholes, none at all. Especially if it means giving Takada a chance to see his kid graduate sixth grade.”
Like I said, the ugly realities of life. The details furnished barely does justice to put the excerpts into context, though. You need to read this. That means you! Go! Go!
S/he may have spoilt me fanfiction D:
In a very surreal sense, I feel like I'm living like an artist, with no cares and concerns, just spending each day doing what I want, being able to read thick, curriculum-irrelevant books without worrying about not being able to use them for any subject, read fics and experience life in its most distilled, emotional form, sleep when I want, not-at night, and in the afternoons, eat Koko Krunch like it won't all go to my stomach, LJ-ing like I don't have work to do, and I'm being paid to spend time to reflect; living like this is - carefree? See, it's because I don't think I'm wasting my time. It's not a waste if you want to do it, and you think it's worth doing.
That being said, I also want to do some homework, except I'm just worried that it'll bring me down from my lofty mood of Zen-ness, and I do like floating above the clouds.
HOUSE SEASON 5 IS ACTUALLY ON AXN :DDDD
I'm just worried about what my parents would say if they walk in on the 13-lesbian-sex scenes. Because there are 13-lesbian-sex scenes. Although maybe MDA would have censored them. But how? Cut a blank? Cut out the entire episode? O:
I realized I didn't post about English LJ, the trip to SCWO, even though it made a big impression on me. Or maybe it wasn't enough, and I'm too relaxed to post anything seriously intellectual now, so I won't be doing justice to it, but my general sentiments can be summed up in two words: newfound respect. Yeah, for the feminist movement, especially in Singapore.
Anyway, have been off reading more fanfic even though I distinctly remember telling myself that my fanfic spree ended on Thursday. Hmm. But this writer,frostian is pure genius. When I say that s/he can publish, I mean it, honestly. Few fanfic writers can publish, because fanfic is a very character-centric form, and much of the characters are developed through the reader's personal interpretation. But s/he writes well, and in a sustained fashion, and her plot details (beyond the relationship bit, which is rare, because it doesn't even exist in most other fics) are astounding. If you read the recs, you'll understand:
Garlic & Butter
http://frostian.livejournal.com/51871.html
It's adapted from Ratatouille, my favourite animated film ever, and it is the epitome of well-developed. When the author wrote, Warning: Um, don't read on an empty stomach?, s/he meant it.
Just a little taster (PUN! :D):
“I’m trying out for soccer, but the team’s first meeting is in Avon Hall?”
“Yeah, Coach Tyler’s also Mr. Tyler of American History,” Jared explained. “So he holds his meet-n-shit in his classroom.”
“Meet-n-shit?” Kit echoed.
“Yeah, he meets you then shits all over you,” Jared explained cheerfully. “The man thinks God should walk behind him.”
“Um … maybe I could try out for football,” Kit said slowly. “Or is that meet-n-die here?”
“Well, isn't that a sad sight.”
He turned to find Nana examining him with little kindness. In fact, she looked outright pissed.
“What do you want, Nana?”
“I want my grandson is what I want.”
“Nana, I’m very tired and…”
“Bullshit,” Nana spitted. “That’s utter bullshit. It’s been over two years and you haven’t done a thing to honor your friend.”
Jared looked at Nana. “What?”
“You think you’re the only one in this family I’ve lost? Child, if I named everyone I’ve lost, I could fill a Texas-sized cemetery.” Nana sat down next to Jared. “And if all we do is grieve, we’re just going to fill in another grave. Is that what you want to do for Kit? To dig a grave next to his? Do you think that’s what Kit wanted for you?”
“I don’t know what he wanted for me,” Jared said tonelessly. “I only knew him for like two weeks and he never…”
“And I call bullshit,” Nana snarled. “You wouldn’t be hurting this bad for the boy if he wasn't worthwhile. The pain you’re feeling? That’s your heart telling you someone dear was torn away. I don’t think you’re the type to fall so hard for a pretty face, so he must have said something, done something, that earned such devotion from you.
“He might not have said it out loud, or in a way you could have understood two years ago, but he did and that’s why you’re hurting so bad.”
As a side note, the excerpt (and Jared's and Kit's relationship) convinces me that love at 'first sight' does exist, that you can fall in love with someone you've only known for two weeks. Hell, I fell in the love with the pairing after only a chapter and the reality of it squashed that 'Eh, but this is Jared/Jensen; you can't make me fall in love with Kit!' voice which came out within the first few lines of being introduced to Kit. Also, this fic is proof that true love can come twice.
Like I said, the plot details are overwhelming. This is verging on spoiler-mode, but since I doubt most of you will click on that link, I need to tell you. So first, it begins with Jared's life in school, his relationship with Kit and the discovery of his talent for cooking. Then it follows with his journey throughout Europe learning the art of cooking, from various masters of the field, and then it goes to his dream of setting up an organic restaurant in the outskirts of Washington, surrounded by organic farms and in a co-op community. And then, he meets Jensen, but their relationship doesn't start until another chapter later, after a flood wipes out the town, and Jared goes to New York to set up another restaurant in the similar vein, and the set-up process is so articulately rendered that it'll make you laugh and laugh, and the relationship hasn't even started yet! Usually, I read for the angst and the UST and the fluff, so if the relationship is not firmly began by, say, the third line, I'm through with the fic, but this one drew me in.
Without the use of sex. Yes, I am not kidding you. This is pure PG-13 fic (unless you think homosexuality is like, a 'sensitive subject' and automatically rates a NC-17, in which case, I don't really have anything to say to you, and uh, why are you reading this again?). I read through like, a novella-length PG-13 slash fic. If that's not my final word on its pure awesomeness, I'm not sure what will.
Parting Gifts
http://frostian.livejournal.com/5490.html
This - was actually what made me think s/he deserves to be published, because all the details from the above, cut review was here and actually improved upon, if that could be possible. It's a kidnapping fic, and the details of the crime and drug syndicates, the insurance company's structure, the surveillance and intelligence, the refugee camps (ahh, aren't you curious about that detail :D Go read it!), all of it was thoroughly researched and engaging. Seriously. I haven't met a fanfic writer who dedicated this much research to a fic before.
And the plot threw me. As above, the relationship wasn't the focus at all, but that wasn't, uncharacteristically, a discouragement for me. It was just - beautiful, and being shown how much Jared and Jensen loved each other through other people's accounts was interesting. So is Anna (now, who's Anna? Don't you want to know :D) My heart broke when that happened, and it was as though that had happened to someone I personally knew and loved, and I kept hoping that it wasn't true, that the writer would just use a plot twist to solve it, and that it's actually a red herring, because fanfics are supposed to make you feel good, not - reflect the cruel reality of the world, damn it, but - yeah. I'm not supposed to reveal what 'that' is. Go find out.
Just so you know, Ross is Jensen's middle name. Jared's insanely rich, and he's building this lovely building in the heart of NYC, which is "going to be beautiful. Especially during sunset and sunrise. [Jared's] favorite description is ‘shimmering like gold on a riverbed.’”
“Jared…” Jensen's voice thinned out to a small wheeze when he finally read the banner behind Jared’s desk.
Jared’s smile turned soft and meaningful as Jensen’s eyes widened in shock.
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you - this building’s called Ross Tower, not Padalecki Tower.”
“Jared,” Jensen said in a weak voice, “are you sure you want to do that?”
“I’m sure, Jensen. I’m very sure.”
“What made you want to name it after me?”
“It’s what you said to me after the Twin Towers fell,” Jared said as he stood up and sat on the desk in front of Jensen. “You said evil can win but it can never prevail. That there are still enough people in the world who know what ‘civil’ part of civilization means and will always, always do their best to triumph over those who don’t.
“Coming from someone who’s seen evil win day after day, your words made an impression on me. I want others to know in a roundabout way that what you said is true. So ... yeah, that’s why this building exists in the first place, and why it’s named after you.”
This fic makes you think about things like that. It's not a mindless happy, it's - contentment, and it's a kind of happiness that comes with strength and courage and living, so.
And, there are clever parts. Right after that excerpt above:
“That’s probably the nicest thing you ever said to me, and that’s including your marriage proposal.”
“That wouldn’t be hard since I upchucked all over your shoes right after I asked you to marry me.”
Heh. Well, maybe there isn't enough romantic details (like I said, no graphic details, completely PG-safe), but enough is subjective. You don't need sex when you have love (:
Details to put the following excerpts into perspective:
Jensen was kidnapped. The kidnappers took something away from him, something precious; it's related to music and his guitar. Chris and Steve are - dubious, ex-Alphabet-Agency trained super-soldiers with experience in missions. Like, killing missions, not Christian missions -.- They are now with the insurance company that Jared hires, and is helping him with the kidnapping matter. Fifteen million is the ransom amount. Jared and Jensen had adopted a kid from Romania, where Jensen was (he's a refugee worker and fundraiser.)
"It's his," Jared whispered as he caressed the strings. "Jensen's got real talent, I kept bugging him to cut an album but he wouldn't."
"We'll send it to the lab, just to make sure."
"I want them dead," Jared said, still staring at the guitar. "I don't want them to spend a fucking dime of the money. Not after this ... not after what they've done to him."
"Jared, calm down. You're in shock. You don't know what you're talking about," Chris said gently.
"No," Jared said and met Chris' eyes with a steely gaze. "I was in shock, but I'm not any more. I want the fuckers dead, Chris. Tell me, how much will it cost?"
...
“Do you want to do this?” Chris asked.
“I wouldn’t mind. The money’ll be enough for us to set up our own business and get help for some of our buddies. You know Michaels has to wait for eight fucking months to see a specialist for his kidney problem? He’ll be an addict by the time he finally sees the doc.”
“And there’s Takada,” Chris added.
“Silverman who’s on God knows how many anti-psychotic drugs.”
“I don’t know how much he’ll pay us.”
“Fifteen million, ask him for fifteen million.”
“Jesus, Steve, are you fucking insane?”
“No, it’s a good number, and I think he’ll say yes. In fact, I think he’ll like it.”
“That's a lot of blood money.”
“So what? So what if we get our hands dirty? Silverman, Takada, Michaels, they’ll get the second chance they deserve. The second chance Uncle Sam never gave, the cheap bastard.”
It was then Chris realized his friend was a breath away from throwing punches. He had never seen Steve angry - annoyed, yes, maybe even pissed but never enraged enough to scare him.
“Steve…”
“We got lucky, Chris, you know that, right? I’m never going to run a marathon but we’re not going batshit insane because of pain, real or imagined. All our limbs are in working order, which is more than what half of our friends can say. So what if we kill some piss-ass motherfuckers who decided to make easy money by terrorizing a family? Yeah, Ackles and Padalecki are gay, so who gives a fuck? They rescue a kid rotting away in Romania, bring her here, and against all odds nurse her halfway to normal. Then this shit happens and it’ll probably take them another fucking year before she sees the world right side up.
“So I have no problems erasing the assholes, none at all. Especially if it means giving Takada a chance to see his kid graduate sixth grade.”
Like I said, the ugly realities of life. The details furnished barely does justice to put the excerpts into context, though. You need to read this. That means you! Go! Go!
S/he may have spoilt me fanfiction D:
In a very surreal sense, I feel like I'm living like an artist, with no cares and concerns, just spending each day doing what I want, being able to read thick, curriculum-irrelevant books without worrying about not being able to use them for any subject, read fics and experience life in its most distilled, emotional form, sleep when I want, not-at night, and in the afternoons, eat Koko Krunch like it won't all go to my stomach, LJ-ing like I don't have work to do, and I'm being paid to spend time to reflect; living like this is - carefree? See, it's because I don't think I'm wasting my time. It's not a waste if you want to do it, and you think it's worth doing.
That being said, I also want to do some homework, except I'm just worried that it'll bring me down from my lofty mood of Zen-ness, and I do like floating above the clouds.
HOUSE SEASON 5 IS ACTUALLY ON AXN :DDDD
I'm just worried about what my parents would say if they walk in on the 13-lesbian-sex scenes. Because there are 13-lesbian-sex scenes. Although maybe MDA would have censored them. But how? Cut a blank? Cut out the entire episode? O: