So, like, it's strange to be reading fanfics of people you don't even know;
Yeah. Lately, I've taken to reading fics about two guys named Jared and Jensen, and apparently, they aren't even characters; they're the actors who play Sam and Dean in Supernatural, so theoretically, it's kind of weird and all, but the fics are awesome. There was this entire college AU verse, which was just fantastic. The only drawback to reading such fics is that they are written in this really cool, stripped, laidback American-slang style, so I tend to like, talk like this for a while after I read them - plus, my tolerance level for swearing, like, really heavy-duty swearing, increases exponentially, as do my penchant for using the psuedo-connectors 'like' and 'so'.
Anyway, so, like, today was both an awesome and a not-awesome day. French interview was - quite bad, I think; slightly better than last year, I suspect, except I don't know that's saying much, and the chances of me actually managing to go for the immersion programme is probably one in ten, I guess. I was in a daze after the whole thing, until I fell asleep in the bus home. Lit LJ was disappointing, especially because I anticipated it to be so awesome and fun, and then it began raining, which should have added to the awesome-ness of it all, except I think I was strung-up regarding the French interview, so I couldn't have as much fun as I should have. Chem LJ was surprisingly exciting, because the Marina Barrage is really pretty, and yes, romantic, I guess, at night, and it began pouring and pouring towards the end, and the wind blew the lid of a dustbin off, and it bounced merrily along the road and into the rippling reservoir (: 415 also had a massive camwhore session, mais oui, and generally, it was - fun. Lighthearted.
I think the rain mellows everyone and everything; your perception of the world. I had a lovely conversation with Kar Min on the bus on the way back, while the rain streaked down the windowpane, and - it was comforting. For a while. She knows about my white hair tie, though. That girl - sort of leaves me with no words to say sometimes.
On the Green Roof, I told Wei Qing, Kar Min and Grace that if it was anyone else, Bernice's domineering attitude will be annoying; it's rather intriguing that it isn't - in fact, I think it's part of her charm, and I find that rather amusing. Quite like Wei Qing's omg-you're-so-stupid voice sometimes, I guess.
I watched The Matrix on Channel 5 last night, from 11.30 to 1.15 am, and I didn't regret it at all, even though I got rather tired in the afternoon. I had forgotten how devastatingly gorgeous Neo/Keanu Reeves was, and in a way, it was also catharsis, an outlet for my emotions after a really frustrating night - the emotionally fraught moments. What was strange though, was that, when Neo had been shot multiple times by Agent Smith, and he had died, and Trinity subsequently revived him by a declaration of love and fearlessness, and he woke up, my instinctive reaction was, 'That's it?', as though love wasn't enough. But maybe it was just the failure of the script to completely bring out the depth of emotion between Trinity and Neo.
Finally, I was frustrated last night because - well, because I expected something which I apparently shouldn't have, and it pissed me off that someone could be so oblivious to something I see as basic decency, and yeah, sometimes I do wonder if everything would be better if I started over. Actually, last night I thought everything would be better if I left, a physical moving on, because this isn't going anywhere, is it? I'm angry at you, and I hate it. That's what Suzie told me to say. But I couldn't. And well, apparently, I can't stay mad at you either, because you say things that strip my anger away deftly, and yet others that leave me back in that dark, dark abyss again, so that another struggle to climb out begins tentatively anew. Maybe you're just using me; the scariest thing is, what little resistance I have against that (possibility)/you.
I guess the point, as misguided as I have been previously and failed to realize, is whether the good outweigh the bad. I don't know. Do they?
I have a lot of work to do.
Anyway, so, like, today was both an awesome and a not-awesome day. French interview was - quite bad, I think; slightly better than last year, I suspect, except I don't know that's saying much, and the chances of me actually managing to go for the immersion programme is probably one in ten, I guess. I was in a daze after the whole thing, until I fell asleep in the bus home. Lit LJ was disappointing, especially because I anticipated it to be so awesome and fun, and then it began raining, which should have added to the awesome-ness of it all, except I think I was strung-up regarding the French interview, so I couldn't have as much fun as I should have. Chem LJ was surprisingly exciting, because the Marina Barrage is really pretty, and yes, romantic, I guess, at night, and it began pouring and pouring towards the end, and the wind blew the lid of a dustbin off, and it bounced merrily along the road and into the rippling reservoir (: 415 also had a massive camwhore session, mais oui, and generally, it was - fun. Lighthearted.
I think the rain mellows everyone and everything; your perception of the world. I had a lovely conversation with Kar Min on the bus on the way back, while the rain streaked down the windowpane, and - it was comforting. For a while. She knows about my white hair tie, though. That girl - sort of leaves me with no words to say sometimes.
On the Green Roof, I told Wei Qing, Kar Min and Grace that if it was anyone else, Bernice's domineering attitude will be annoying; it's rather intriguing that it isn't - in fact, I think it's part of her charm, and I find that rather amusing. Quite like Wei Qing's omg-you're-so-stupid voice sometimes, I guess.
I watched The Matrix on Channel 5 last night, from 11.30 to 1.15 am, and I didn't regret it at all, even though I got rather tired in the afternoon. I had forgotten how devastatingly gorgeous Neo/Keanu Reeves was, and in a way, it was also catharsis, an outlet for my emotions after a really frustrating night - the emotionally fraught moments. What was strange though, was that, when Neo had been shot multiple times by Agent Smith, and he had died, and Trinity subsequently revived him by a declaration of love and fearlessness, and he woke up, my instinctive reaction was, 'That's it?', as though love wasn't enough. But maybe it was just the failure of the script to completely bring out the depth of emotion between Trinity and Neo.
Finally, I was frustrated last night because - well, because I expected something which I apparently shouldn't have, and it pissed me off that someone could be so oblivious to something I see as basic decency, and yeah, sometimes I do wonder if everything would be better if I started over. Actually, last night I thought everything would be better if I left, a physical moving on, because this isn't going anywhere, is it? I'm angry at you, and I hate it. That's what Suzie told me to say. But I couldn't. And well, apparently, I can't stay mad at you either, because you say things that strip my anger away deftly, and yet others that leave me back in that dark, dark abyss again, so that another struggle to climb out begins tentatively anew. Maybe you're just using me; the scariest thing is, what little resistance I have against that (possibility)/you.
I guess the point, as misguided as I have been previously and failed to realize, is whether the good outweigh the bad. I don't know. Do they?
I have a lot of work to do.