Holy Prostate Batman! 1/?
Holy Prostate Batman! 1/?
Author: slash_freak_oz
Beta: amaphone & bigfish05 but any mistakes are mine
Rating: PG - NC17
Pairing: Jensen/OMC, Jared/Jensen, Mike/Tom and other CW characters pop up throughout this story.
Summary: (Set during Smallville season 4)
Jensen has a night he’ll never forget, Batman took his ass cherry! Stumbling through life as a bisexual (only close friends know), he finds out that his secret TV crush (only his sister knows) will be his co-star…how will he cope?
Disclaimer: I’ve known them all since they were knee high to a grasshopper….and I’m also full of shit!! :D
A/N: This is my first fanfic of J2...well first fanfic ever…so please be gentle….it’s my first time *snickers*
Prologue
Jensen stared at Mike as he bursts out laughing. He knew he shouldn’t have told Mike but he really needed to tell someone, he felt like he was gonna burst. Now he just wished he kept his mouth shut.
“Dude…Batman? How the hell did that happen and who the hell was it?” Mike spat out, calming his giggling.
“Oh shut up! Like you can talk… Hello? Superman!” Jensen snapped and sighed “I blame Allie and Erica, feeding me damn jelly shots at the CW Halloween party! They kept feeding me them all night and I lost count of how many I had but afterwards…. nothing. Totally blank. That’s when I saw him…Batman. We didn’t even get to talk, just a lot of heated looks throughout the party”
Mike smirked “Do you even know anything about him?”
Jensen grinned “Yeah…he’s HUGE, no wonder I was walking kinda bow legged the next day”
Mike laughed “Jensen, you always walk bowlegged,” then he turned serious, “You were safe weren’t you?”
Jensen fell back against his chair in his trailer during a break in filming “Yes, Mother,” he said, exasperated but smiled never the less.
“Good. You gonna see him again?”
“I don’t even know who he is….for all I know it could be someone I know or have talked to before,” Jensen sighed, rubbing his neck.
Mike started snickering at that idea “Ohh Jen, why didn’t you just ask him what his name was?”
Jensen blushed and let out a small smile “I was…occupied”
“Occupied?”
Jensen nodded “Yeah.” He glanced at Mike briefly before looking away when Mike turned to him suddenly.
“Right. So you’re telling me that you never once said anything to him, didn’t ask a name, not even a hello or Hey, nice bat suit?”
Jensen chuckled “No, I was drunk and fucking hard, after catching him staring at me most of the night…so I decided to just do it.”
“I can’t believe Batman popped your cherry!” Mike sitting there shocked but amused.
Jensen laughed “You are so hypocritical! I know for a fact that Tom was your first”
Mike nodded “Touché”
“Look, I know you’re just being a good friend but I’m fine. It was a fucking fantastic first time! Yeah I probably should’ve gotten his name at least, but I guess that’s my loss,” he shrugged.
Mike grinned “Alright man. So…” he started saying as his smile turned wider “…now that your broken in, wanna come out tonight?”
“Do I have to?”
Mike stood up “YES! We have to celebrate Batman popping your butt cherry!”
Jensen covered his face “Do you have to keep saying that?”
“What?”
“Batman!”
“Well until you find out his name, yes that’s what I’m calling him.”
“Fine, then I’m calling Tom Superman.”
Mike cracked up laughing “No way man! Besides you know Tom’s name.”
Jensen groaned rolling his head back “Okay.”
Mike whopped and said “Awesome.”
Knocking on the trailer door interrupted them. Mike opened it and found Tom standing there “Hey guys, you ready to go back to set?”
“Sure man,” Jensen said, getting up then started humming the Superman theme and rushed past Tom as Mike growled.
“Quit it, Ackles!” chasing after him.
Tom closed the trailer door and followed shaking his head “Wonder what the hell that was about?”
*******************************************************************************************************************
Jensen stepped into the club and searched for Mike. He didn’t know if anyone else other than Tom was going to be there. A few minutes later he found Mike, Tom and Allie sitting in a booth talking animatedly, drinking beer.
“Hey guys and gal” Jensen said, pulling up next to Allie who smiled as soon as she saw him and moved over.
“Jensen! Mike just told us the great news.”
Jensen looked over at Mike who was trying to hide his grin behind his glass as he took a drink.
“Oh really? I thought he was still deciding on going through with the sex change?”
Mike promptly choked on his beer while Jensen grinned at him and Tom patted his back, giggling. Allie snickered and said “No…about you and Batman.”
Jensen groaned “I’m gonna go get a drink” and wandered over to the bar, buying a jug of beer. Walking back he sat down pouring himself a drink, before he could even have a drink he noticed Allie staring at him “What?”
Allie grinned and sat back, her fingers running over the table in thought “I just….” she leaned closer, her grin widening “Was he still wearing the bat suit when he fucked you?”
Tom’s eyes widened, Mike started snickering and Jensen just stared at her, took a slow long drink until the glass was empty “And… why do you want to know that?”
“Well, you see that’s the thing. Mike was saying he’d have to take it off from the back and I reckon there’s gotta be a zip behind the cod piece, I mean…come on! Imagine how hard it would be if you needed to pee and you’re all strapped in”
Jensen ducked his head and muttered something. Tom smirked leaning towards the table “What was that Jen?”
Jensen scratched his neck then said “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” Mike asked, leaning forward also.
“You know yes fucking what! I never gave you this shit when Tom fucked you dude,” Jensen replied, pouring more beer into his glass.
“Hey now keep me out of this” Tom mumbled.
Allie let out a soft squeal beside them and when they all turned to her, she was grinning from ear to ear “That would have been awesome to bust in on. You pinned against the wall while Batman slammed against you…still dressed.”
Jensen stared at her like she was crazy. He took a drink, glancing around the club. Times like this he wished he knew who Batman was but then again he kinda liked the mystery around the guy. Plus if it was something that Mike would give him shit for everyday then he was definitely glad he didn’t know. He felt Allie nudge him and turned to her.
“How made the first move?”
“Jesus Christ, Allie…” Jensen started but she put a hand on his arm halting his words.
“No, just between us. I’m very curious and happy for you. I’m glad your first time was better than expected…better than these two from what they’ve mentioned.”
Jensen cocked a eyebrow and smirked “Oh really?”
Allie gave a smirk of her own “Oh yeah, Mike tried riding Tom and nearly bent Tom’s dick in half when he was thrusting down when Tom slipped out.”
Jensen burst out laughing, causing Tom and Mike to stop their conversation briefly, watching Jensen then continuing.
“Wow… poor Tom’s dick. Doesn’t surprise me though, everything around Mike needs therapy at some point”
“Hey!” Mike said but Jensen ignored him.
“So?” Allie said leaning forward.
Jensen sighed but gave her a small smile “Alright, but no details. Okay, so I had seen him staring at me few times, after that I got busted by him myself. I hadn’t planned to do anything but I would just watch him. I swear this guy could play Batman. He has smooth, sleek movements and with the mask it definitely showed off his lips and jaw. The rubber was kinda kinky too. Anyway, I get a drink from the fridge and when I turn around there he is, fucking taller, maybe same height as Tom… could be taller”
“No shit?” Mike interrupted. Tom and Mike stopped talking awhile ago, when they realised Jensen was telling Allie the story.
Jensen shushed him and continued “He just stood there staring at me then he disappeared out of the kitchen and down the hallway. I’m confused but fuck, he had me curious. So I followed him. Yeah I know, stalker Jen. I get around the corner, the door to my left opens and I get pulled inside and pinned to the door. The dude has me pinned against the door just using his bodyweight. I’m pretty much straddling his thigh. I look at him and he just… leans in and kisses me. Hard. So, I guess he initiated it but I followed him. We both wanted it. And yeah that’s what happened.” Jensen finished then drank more beer, sitting in silence as the others soaked in the story.
“It was a mutual first move?” Tom suggested and Jensen nodded.
“So, you mean he did you up against the door?” Mike said chuckling slightly.
Jensen rolled his eyes “Yes, Mike. Okay, no more Batman sex stories to tell,” then he grins and starts humming the Superman theme.
Mike glares at Jensen while Allie and Tom laugh. Jensen stops and says “How bout more beer? My shout this round,” and goes to get another jug. When he comes back the three of them are hysterically laughing.
“What did I miss?”
“Tom pointed out something funny,” Mike snickered.
“Which was?” Jensen said sitting down, pouring out drinks.
“Your costume.”
“What about it?”
“Don’t you see how funny it is?”
“Not really,” Jensen muttered.
“Oh come on! Batman’s side kick is Robin and you went as Robin Hood.”
Jensen froze and looked up “Shit! I never even thought of that!”
They cracked up laughing then calmed down, talk turning to coming episodes and other TV shows.
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