hes in my bed and i can't sleep
under normal circumstances i would be happy about the fact that he was here and sharing my bed, but tonight i don't know.
sometimes hes just downright condescending and i dont think he realizes it. or maybe i'm just..i dunno the word but take things too hard. either way i couldn't stop thinking about it and then i realized that i was getting mad at him and i didn't want to go to bed without saying i love you to him. so i turned over and hugged him and finally after a bit he asked me whats up. i told him that i was getting mad at him and that i didn't want to go to bed angry at him. but the thing is he never asked me what i was mad about. i have a hard time just coming out and saying shit especially to him. at times (and i know i shouldnt) i genuinely believe that he doesnt care. its just thats how he acts sometimes, and then its those times that it matters to me when he shows that he doesnt care that it just hurts me right down to the bone. its like hes cutting away at my soul or something. i really don't know how to tell him this, because it gives the impression that he doesnt make me happy, which is untrue about 98% of the time he makes me happy, its just those random times in the day that make me very unhappy.
but back to the point, if someone doesnt express concern for the matter at hand, then it gives me the impression that they do not care and that they would rather get back to what they were doing. and when he does this, i dont know what to think. he tells me say my feelings, but how can i without just blurting them out and making them seem random and well..bitchy? i just really don't know what to do sometimes and it bothers the hell out of me. *Sigh
i love him, but sometimes...
and now hes asleep...so i dont know what to do
sometimes hes just downright condescending and i dont think he realizes it. or maybe i'm just..i dunno the word but take things too hard. either way i couldn't stop thinking about it and then i realized that i was getting mad at him and i didn't want to go to bed without saying i love you to him. so i turned over and hugged him and finally after a bit he asked me whats up. i told him that i was getting mad at him and that i didn't want to go to bed angry at him. but the thing is he never asked me what i was mad about. i have a hard time just coming out and saying shit especially to him. at times (and i know i shouldnt) i genuinely believe that he doesnt care. its just thats how he acts sometimes, and then its those times that it matters to me when he shows that he doesnt care that it just hurts me right down to the bone. its like hes cutting away at my soul or something. i really don't know how to tell him this, because it gives the impression that he doesnt make me happy, which is untrue about 98% of the time he makes me happy, its just those random times in the day that make me very unhappy.
but back to the point, if someone doesnt express concern for the matter at hand, then it gives me the impression that they do not care and that they would rather get back to what they were doing. and when he does this, i dont know what to think. he tells me say my feelings, but how can i without just blurting them out and making them seem random and well..bitchy? i just really don't know what to do sometimes and it bothers the hell out of me. *Sigh
i love him, but sometimes...
and now hes asleep...so i dont know what to do