Missing You - Part II
Author: Slarya
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: AU, Angst, PG-13
Words: 3,004
Length: Part II of II
Summary: They have this rule that makes their "relationship" keep going. His friends don't understand why he's so attached to the other man, they don't understand why he needs him so much...but what happens when the said rule is broken?
MISSING YOU
“It’s been almost two months man; you should light up a bit.” The three of them are sitting at a street café celebrating Jung-Sik’s new job, the guy’s working as a DJ now. Daniel watches the people passing by, they all seem to have a purpose in life. Jin is right, it’s been too long since he has last heard from Hyukjae, he should stop sulking over what’s gone.
“Don’t you guys think it’s weird?” He asks; this thing is bugging him since that night.
“What?”
“It’s been two months since it stopped raining.”
*** ***
This is it; he has hit the big jackpot. His turn and luck are finally here. The letter laying open on his hand contains the words he so much wanted to read for so long. Grabbing the phone he starts dialing a number only to hear the voice message on the other side, it’s disconnected. He stops and remembers Hyukjae no longer answers this phone number, also there’s no reason to call him about this, is there?
“Hey Tukutz…check this out, I’m a writer and this time it’s for real.”
*** ***
He is most definitely not dreaming, Jung-Sik (the guy dumbly insists in being called Tukutz from now on but Daniel likes to bug him and refuses to do it most of the times) already pinched is arm twice and yep it’s all true. This big, expensive and not so wanted by him party marks the beginning of a new era, of a new life…of a new and pretty much sad life. Yes he’s more than happy to finally leave his old job and focus on the thing he’s worked so much all his life to accomplish, but he’s still lonely.
Hyukjae disappeared, vanished from the face of the Earth. He has tried to find the boy countless times already, the old building where the boy used to live is empty, there’s no trace of the youngster anywhere. He can’t do anything besides try to forget him, even if it hurts to do that it’s necessary or else he won’t be able to move on with his life.
“Ya Daniel you really made it big this time.” Tukutz offers him a glass of vodka with lime; the party is being held at one of the most prestigious hotels of the area. “So what’s the name of the book and when will it be published?”
“Pieces of You and probably in a month or so, when they have all the copies done.” It seems natural to choose that title. He remembers the nights with Hyukjae, the small after-sex talks they shared discussing points of view, books, music or even rambling their thoughts out of their system. He remembers grabbing his pen and blank paper sheets, turning the light low to avoid wakening the boy; the white smooth skin welcoming his gentle touch while the boy’s face seems for once at peace.
He knows that book was written during these past two years, it was added a little bit to its pages everytime he had a fight with Hyukjae, everytime he had a love making night with Hyukjae, everytime he had thought about Hyukjae…and now Hyukjae’s gone and he has finally finished the book, there can’t be a better title.
“I don’t think I should say this but…” Daniel glances at his friend, Tukutz seems regretful.
“What’s wrong?”
“You promise you won’t freak out?”
“Jung-Sik you better tell me what’s going on.” He warns, something inside telling him this are not good news.
“Jin saw Hyukjae,” Tukutz raises one hand to stop his friend’s question. “He was leaving his girlfriend’s place yesterday night, he saw two guys threatening another one, he didn’t hear what was it about but he thinks it was an assault or something of that sort. When he got closer he recognized him, the other guys saw him and ran away.” His friend stops as if the news are over.
“What are you not telling me?”
“Daniel…”
“Shit!” Some journalists near them glance their way, intrigued by Daniel’s sudden angry voice. The writer ignores their looks and proceeds with the conversation in a lower tone. “You started this now finish, what happened?” Tukutz sighs recognizing the defeat.
“Apparently he was not in his best shape...you know how he never had a fixed job, most of the times he would eat with you and sleep at your place…that kid was a mess and he still is.” Daniel feels the hand around his arm. “Daniel he doesn’t want to see you and honestly isn’t it better to let him go?”
“Don’t ever do that again.” He hisses, releasing his arm. “You guys know how much I’m going crazy looking everywhere for that kid, now you come here and tell me Jin saw him yesterday? That his life is in danger and both of you stayed quiet…”
“We’re just worried about you and you’re starting to rebuild your life.”
“What life? Have you look around? I’m miserable without that boy, my life makes no sense without him. Just…just forget it, leave me alone.”
*** ***
He waits impatiently for few seconds, after nothing happens he knocks again, this time harder until his hand starts to hurt. There’s a light from below the door, good someone is finally coming. Jin stares at him for a second before moving to the side to let him in.
“I thought you were at the party, sorry for not going had to work tonight.”
“Cut the bullshit where’s Hyukjae?” He’s being a jerk yes, Jin and Jung-Sik are close friends almost brothers to him, they don’t deserve this crap but in a way Daniel thinks they do. They’re hiding Hyukjae from him so right now their friendship is not a priority.
“Hyukjae was here last night,” Jin sits and lights his Marlboro cigarette. “He was ok despite everything, he’s a tough kid.
“What happened?” He sits near his friend and accepts a new cigarette and the lighter.
“He was low in cash you know he left the apartment where he was staying. You thought it was because of you but nop, he was without money his boss fired him.”
This is what he fears the most, not being able to help Hyukjae when he’s sure the other needs all the help he can get.
“Yesterday some guys wanted to have fun with him,” Daniel scoops his head up, a fierceness inside his eyes. “Like I said he’s a tough kid, they had a hard time with him and he has probably left them with some bruises. In the end they were pissed because they couldn’t get what they wanted…that’s when I got there and they ran. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you a thing and he agreed to come to my place. I fed him.” Jin playfully says as if talking about a small puppy.
“Is he coming back?”
“Not sure, I told him to come whenever he needs to, I can give him food and a bed to sleep in but the rest is up to him.”
“I don’t understand,” Daniel starts, getting up and moving to the balcony. “Why doesn’t he let me help him? He knows I won’t try to be with him if he doesn’t want to, I can just be his friend…”
“That was how it started Daniel, you were his friend and then you fell for him, he knows that and he wants to avoid making you suffer he’s a good kid.” Yes he knows that besides being scared of being loved, Hyukjae is also scared of hurting the one that loves him.
“Just call me the next time you see him or have news from him.” With those words he leaves Jin’s place, right now he wants nothing more than to hide inside his lonely apartment.
*** ***
Two weeks, four hours and thirty three seconds that’s the first thing he thinks when he glances from his work's table to the clock on the wall. He misses his old job, not because he liked it but because he had someone controlling him, controlling his job and right now he needs someone doing just that. To avoid going any lower, to avoid sinking in the depressed mood he is right now.
He misses Hyukjae but mostly he’s worried about him, he can’t concentrate in anything after hearing those news two weeks ago. He hasn’t come back to Jin’s place or asked for help, what if he can’t? What if something happened? What if-
The phone starts to buzz, slightly away still thinking about the boy he absently answers the call.
“Yo,” Jung-Sik and he’s not in the mood for the DJ right now. “Before you say some nasty remark,” The DJ lowers his voice. “Hyukjae’s here, Jin’s place if you wanna see him hurry up.”
*** ***
Hurry up? Well of course; this is the first time he has run so much in his life. What a great day for his car to decide to die, he isn’t running right now; he’s flying yeah definitely flying. In record time (that surely should appear in the Guinness book) he reaches Jin’s place and flies in the direction of his friend’s house. When he gets there he stops, will Hyukjae be mad and never come back again? That’s a possibility and if that happens he won’t have anyone else to go to when he’s in trouble. In a rush he grabs his phone and calls Tukutz.
“You’re here?”
“Without telling him, check if he wants to see me.”
“What?”
“Just do what I’m saying.” The connection ends and he waits. A few seconds later his phone rings. “So?”
“Hm…yeah…”
“Ok I got it, I’m not coming. Tukutz…take care of him for me.” Daniel doesn’t wait for the answer and turns off the cell; he looks at the closed door at his front, Hyukjae is right on the other side, so close yet so far away. Slowly he pushes his back against it, maybe if he stays like that for a little Hyukjae will be able to feel his presence, maybe he is thinking of him right now and maybe he also misses Daniel as much as Daniel misses him.
The hours pass by; he’s not sure how long he has been standing there. His back hurts and he has just lost a day’s work but that doesn’t mind. He faintly hears steps coming in his way, standing up he walks to the stairway and waits with his heart starting to beat faster and faster. The door opens and it’s him, its Hyukjae because that red sweater (which he can only see a small sleeve of it) belongs to him.
He remembers giving it one day to the boy when it was cold outside; Hyukjae is wearing something that belongs to him. The boy steps outside and Jin pulls him into a firm hug, it’s more noticeable how thin he has gotten, how delicate his limbs are when he’s there inside Jin’s big, strong arms.
“Think about what I told you, you can have so much more than this.” The boy gives a sheepish smile and nods.
“I’ll think about it, thanks for the food and…you know everything.” God his voice, how he has missed that voice.
“Any time.”
Hyukjae stops for a moment, he seems to be thinking about something. He turns slowly and stares at the stairway; Daniel is sure he can’t see him but why does it feel like somehow he knows the writer is standing there? He turns around again, his voice comes out differently, less steady and more weak.
“Tell Daniel…tell Daniel I’m ok and that…never mind don’t tell him I was here.” He sees the youngster opening the elevator’s door, the last flash of red and white skin disappearing inside it.
“You’re ok?” Jin asks from the doorway, pulling his tobacco out of the pocket. Daniel doesn’t say anything back, he stares at the spot Hyukjae had been standing few seconds ago and something tells him to stop being scared, he needs to be strong for both of them, he needs to…
…he faintly hears his friends calling his name once but their voices fade away as he runs down the stairs. Pushing through the doors of the building his eyes immediately wander around, looking, searching. He catches the red color and brown hair going around the block and quickly initiates his marathon in that direction.
“Hyukjae!” The boy turns in the middle of the crossroad, disbelief and astonishment as he sees Daniel standing just there.
“The cars!” Daniel calls again; Hyukjae notices the car horns and finally moves, reaching the other side of the road. They both stare at each other, Daniel wants to move and reach for the other man, he wants so much to touch him, to feel him inside his safe embrace, to tell him to come back…to say let me just love you.
Hyukjae smiles sadly, a small tear runs along his thin face; a bus passes by and he disappears. Daniel panics as he glances around, but there’s no trace of the boy anymore. Accepting defeat, the writer walks back to Jin’s apartment, regret that he has just lost the chance to speak to his lover consuming his heart.
*** ***
“Congratulations.” Tukutz smiles brightly at him, Jin pulls him into a ‘Mithra bear hug’; don’t ask, Daniel has also no idea why Tukutz named those hugs that way (probably because Jung-Sik is a very special child, he muses to himself).
“Thanks, guess now it’s for real.”
“So Tablo…what kind of name is that? Were you drunk when you picked it up?” He swears another joke and he’s going to personally murder his friend. He glances at the lady at the other side on the counter.
“He’s always like that, his mom dropped him when he was little. He hit his head on a big rock.” The girl chuckles and places the coffee over the counter, turning around to prepare Jin’s lemon tea.
“Funny,” Jung-Sik comments not paying much attention. “So when you’re rich don’t forget that me and Jin actually put up with your emo modes through all these years.”
“I won’t,” Daniel grabs his coffee and smiles. “I’ll even dedicate a small spot to you guys on my next book, see ya.”
*** ***
It’s cold and seems like a storm is coming. Daniel pulls the high collar of the coat over his neck and buttons it. A few drops of freezing water fall from the dark sky, he speeds up his walk. When he gets to his apartment he looks like a penguin; taking the boots out and following right after the wet clothes, he walks inside the bathroom and prepares a bubble bath, yes he is that childish and likes those types of things.
Seems like ages since he last felt this way, somehow at peace. It never takes long though, not while he still has feelings for a certain man, not while he can’t stop thinking about him…
“Where are you Hyukjae? Are you even alive?” This is what he fears the most, he remembers how he first found the boy. All beaten up in a corner, money taken from him together with the sneakers and the jacket. That time Daniel hadn’t thought twice, his instinct had told him to protect the boy, to cherish him, to love him. And he had, at least while he had been given the change he had…now he only wishes he could see him one last time.
The small buzz from the front door brings him back from the sleepy land, he curses silently, grabbing some pants and a t-shirt. Each step that he takes makes itself feel and heard with the pouring rain outside, unlocking the door he thinks if maybe he still makes it in time to see the midnight movie session. All thoughts of going out are blocked away when he sees the person standing at his door.
“Do I call you Tablo now?” Hyukjae is there, skinnier than before, big dark circles under his eyes and a sad smile attached to his colorless lips. Daniel notices the book on the boy’s hand, his own book “Pieces of You”. He doesn’t smile nor does he say anything, it’s not necessary; spreading his arms wide he waits for the youngster to seek comfort and protection.
One step is taken forward, fear and uncertain reclaiming Hyukjae’s eyes. Another step carefully taken, followed by another one even bigger than the previous two…then he’s there, one breath away distance separating their bodies.
“I’m so scared…I’m so scared of this hyung.” And it’s the first time Hyukjae calls him that; it’s the first time Hyukjae allows himself to be so close to someone, that he allows someone else to be there for him.
“I know Hyukkie but I’m here, trust me.” Hyukjae’s eyes cry just like the sky outside cries and he is finally there on his arms and Daniel loses no time; he hugs him close to his chest and he kisses the soft hair. How he has missed this, how he has missed the boy’s scent, the boy’s warmth, the boy’s breath.
He feels Hyukjae’s fingers grabbing tightly his t-shirt. The soundless sobs as he cries inside the warm embrace.
“I’ve missed you so much, I tried to be strong and stop thinking about you but I’m not strong enough and…I realized I was also breaking my own rule.” He confesses and Daniel smiles fondly as he looks below at the kid.
“You made this rule to protect yourself Hyukkie but you don’t need to protect yourself from me, I won’t hurt you I promise.” Hyukjae nods, still refusing to look at Daniel’s eyes.
“Thank you for coming back, thank you so much.” He whispers as he pulls Hyukjae into a soft kiss.
“You’re so stupid.” Daniel laughs, yeah he is but its ok as long as he has this person next to him it’s ok.
Pairing: Blohyuk
Genre/Rating: AU, Angst, PG-13
Words: 3,004
Length: Part II of II
Summary: They have this rule that makes their "relationship" keep going. His friends don't understand why he's so attached to the other man, they don't understand why he needs him so much...but what happens when the said rule is broken?
MISSING YOU
“It’s been almost two months man; you should light up a bit.” The three of them are sitting at a street café celebrating Jung-Sik’s new job, the guy’s working as a DJ now. Daniel watches the people passing by, they all seem to have a purpose in life. Jin is right, it’s been too long since he has last heard from Hyukjae, he should stop sulking over what’s gone.
“Don’t you guys think it’s weird?” He asks; this thing is bugging him since that night.
“What?”
“It’s been two months since it stopped raining.”
*** ***
This is it; he has hit the big jackpot. His turn and luck are finally here. The letter laying open on his hand contains the words he so much wanted to read for so long. Grabbing the phone he starts dialing a number only to hear the voice message on the other side, it’s disconnected. He stops and remembers Hyukjae no longer answers this phone number, also there’s no reason to call him about this, is there?
“Hey Tukutz…check this out, I’m a writer and this time it’s for real.”
*** ***
He is most definitely not dreaming, Jung-Sik (the guy dumbly insists in being called Tukutz from now on but Daniel likes to bug him and refuses to do it most of the times) already pinched is arm twice and yep it’s all true. This big, expensive and not so wanted by him party marks the beginning of a new era, of a new life…of a new and pretty much sad life. Yes he’s more than happy to finally leave his old job and focus on the thing he’s worked so much all his life to accomplish, but he’s still lonely.
Hyukjae disappeared, vanished from the face of the Earth. He has tried to find the boy countless times already, the old building where the boy used to live is empty, there’s no trace of the youngster anywhere. He can’t do anything besides try to forget him, even if it hurts to do that it’s necessary or else he won’t be able to move on with his life.
“Ya Daniel you really made it big this time.” Tukutz offers him a glass of vodka with lime; the party is being held at one of the most prestigious hotels of the area. “So what’s the name of the book and when will it be published?”
“Pieces of You and probably in a month or so, when they have all the copies done.” It seems natural to choose that title. He remembers the nights with Hyukjae, the small after-sex talks they shared discussing points of view, books, music or even rambling their thoughts out of their system. He remembers grabbing his pen and blank paper sheets, turning the light low to avoid wakening the boy; the white smooth skin welcoming his gentle touch while the boy’s face seems for once at peace.
He knows that book was written during these past two years, it was added a little bit to its pages everytime he had a fight with Hyukjae, everytime he had a love making night with Hyukjae, everytime he had thought about Hyukjae…and now Hyukjae’s gone and he has finally finished the book, there can’t be a better title.
“I don’t think I should say this but…” Daniel glances at his friend, Tukutz seems regretful.
“What’s wrong?”
“You promise you won’t freak out?”
“Jung-Sik you better tell me what’s going on.” He warns, something inside telling him this are not good news.
“Jin saw Hyukjae,” Tukutz raises one hand to stop his friend’s question. “He was leaving his girlfriend’s place yesterday night, he saw two guys threatening another one, he didn’t hear what was it about but he thinks it was an assault or something of that sort. When he got closer he recognized him, the other guys saw him and ran away.” His friend stops as if the news are over.
“What are you not telling me?”
“Daniel…”
“Shit!” Some journalists near them glance their way, intrigued by Daniel’s sudden angry voice. The writer ignores their looks and proceeds with the conversation in a lower tone. “You started this now finish, what happened?” Tukutz sighs recognizing the defeat.
“Apparently he was not in his best shape...you know how he never had a fixed job, most of the times he would eat with you and sleep at your place…that kid was a mess and he still is.” Daniel feels the hand around his arm. “Daniel he doesn’t want to see you and honestly isn’t it better to let him go?”
“Don’t ever do that again.” He hisses, releasing his arm. “You guys know how much I’m going crazy looking everywhere for that kid, now you come here and tell me Jin saw him yesterday? That his life is in danger and both of you stayed quiet…”
“We’re just worried about you and you’re starting to rebuild your life.”
“What life? Have you look around? I’m miserable without that boy, my life makes no sense without him. Just…just forget it, leave me alone.”
*** ***
He waits impatiently for few seconds, after nothing happens he knocks again, this time harder until his hand starts to hurt. There’s a light from below the door, good someone is finally coming. Jin stares at him for a second before moving to the side to let him in.
“I thought you were at the party, sorry for not going had to work tonight.”
“Cut the bullshit where’s Hyukjae?” He’s being a jerk yes, Jin and Jung-Sik are close friends almost brothers to him, they don’t deserve this crap but in a way Daniel thinks they do. They’re hiding Hyukjae from him so right now their friendship is not a priority.
“Hyukjae was here last night,” Jin sits and lights his Marlboro cigarette. “He was ok despite everything, he’s a tough kid.
“What happened?” He sits near his friend and accepts a new cigarette and the lighter.
“He was low in cash you know he left the apartment where he was staying. You thought it was because of you but nop, he was without money his boss fired him.”
This is what he fears the most, not being able to help Hyukjae when he’s sure the other needs all the help he can get.
“Yesterday some guys wanted to have fun with him,” Daniel scoops his head up, a fierceness inside his eyes. “Like I said he’s a tough kid, they had a hard time with him and he has probably left them with some bruises. In the end they were pissed because they couldn’t get what they wanted…that’s when I got there and they ran. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you a thing and he agreed to come to my place. I fed him.” Jin playfully says as if talking about a small puppy.
“Is he coming back?”
“Not sure, I told him to come whenever he needs to, I can give him food and a bed to sleep in but the rest is up to him.”
“I don’t understand,” Daniel starts, getting up and moving to the balcony. “Why doesn’t he let me help him? He knows I won’t try to be with him if he doesn’t want to, I can just be his friend…”
“That was how it started Daniel, you were his friend and then you fell for him, he knows that and he wants to avoid making you suffer he’s a good kid.” Yes he knows that besides being scared of being loved, Hyukjae is also scared of hurting the one that loves him.
“Just call me the next time you see him or have news from him.” With those words he leaves Jin’s place, right now he wants nothing more than to hide inside his lonely apartment.
*** ***
Two weeks, four hours and thirty three seconds that’s the first thing he thinks when he glances from his work's table to the clock on the wall. He misses his old job, not because he liked it but because he had someone controlling him, controlling his job and right now he needs someone doing just that. To avoid going any lower, to avoid sinking in the depressed mood he is right now.
He misses Hyukjae but mostly he’s worried about him, he can’t concentrate in anything after hearing those news two weeks ago. He hasn’t come back to Jin’s place or asked for help, what if he can’t? What if something happened? What if-
The phone starts to buzz, slightly away still thinking about the boy he absently answers the call.
“Yo,” Jung-Sik and he’s not in the mood for the DJ right now. “Before you say some nasty remark,” The DJ lowers his voice. “Hyukjae’s here, Jin’s place if you wanna see him hurry up.”
*** ***
Hurry up? Well of course; this is the first time he has run so much in his life. What a great day for his car to decide to die, he isn’t running right now; he’s flying yeah definitely flying. In record time (that surely should appear in the Guinness book) he reaches Jin’s place and flies in the direction of his friend’s house. When he gets there he stops, will Hyukjae be mad and never come back again? That’s a possibility and if that happens he won’t have anyone else to go to when he’s in trouble. In a rush he grabs his phone and calls Tukutz.
“You’re here?”
“Without telling him, check if he wants to see me.”
“What?”
“Just do what I’m saying.” The connection ends and he waits. A few seconds later his phone rings. “So?”
“Hm…yeah…”
“Ok I got it, I’m not coming. Tukutz…take care of him for me.” Daniel doesn’t wait for the answer and turns off the cell; he looks at the closed door at his front, Hyukjae is right on the other side, so close yet so far away. Slowly he pushes his back against it, maybe if he stays like that for a little Hyukjae will be able to feel his presence, maybe he is thinking of him right now and maybe he also misses Daniel as much as Daniel misses him.
The hours pass by; he’s not sure how long he has been standing there. His back hurts and he has just lost a day’s work but that doesn’t mind. He faintly hears steps coming in his way, standing up he walks to the stairway and waits with his heart starting to beat faster and faster. The door opens and it’s him, its Hyukjae because that red sweater (which he can only see a small sleeve of it) belongs to him.
He remembers giving it one day to the boy when it was cold outside; Hyukjae is wearing something that belongs to him. The boy steps outside and Jin pulls him into a firm hug, it’s more noticeable how thin he has gotten, how delicate his limbs are when he’s there inside Jin’s big, strong arms.
“Think about what I told you, you can have so much more than this.” The boy gives a sheepish smile and nods.
“I’ll think about it, thanks for the food and…you know everything.” God his voice, how he has missed that voice.
“Any time.”
Hyukjae stops for a moment, he seems to be thinking about something. He turns slowly and stares at the stairway; Daniel is sure he can’t see him but why does it feel like somehow he knows the writer is standing there? He turns around again, his voice comes out differently, less steady and more weak.
“Tell Daniel…tell Daniel I’m ok and that…never mind don’t tell him I was here.” He sees the youngster opening the elevator’s door, the last flash of red and white skin disappearing inside it.
“You’re ok?” Jin asks from the doorway, pulling his tobacco out of the pocket. Daniel doesn’t say anything back, he stares at the spot Hyukjae had been standing few seconds ago and something tells him to stop being scared, he needs to be strong for both of them, he needs to…
…he faintly hears his friends calling his name once but their voices fade away as he runs down the stairs. Pushing through the doors of the building his eyes immediately wander around, looking, searching. He catches the red color and brown hair going around the block and quickly initiates his marathon in that direction.
“Hyukjae!” The boy turns in the middle of the crossroad, disbelief and astonishment as he sees Daniel standing just there.
“The cars!” Daniel calls again; Hyukjae notices the car horns and finally moves, reaching the other side of the road. They both stare at each other, Daniel wants to move and reach for the other man, he wants so much to touch him, to feel him inside his safe embrace, to tell him to come back…to say let me just love you.
Hyukjae smiles sadly, a small tear runs along his thin face; a bus passes by and he disappears. Daniel panics as he glances around, but there’s no trace of the boy anymore. Accepting defeat, the writer walks back to Jin’s apartment, regret that he has just lost the chance to speak to his lover consuming his heart.
*** ***
“Congratulations.” Tukutz smiles brightly at him, Jin pulls him into a ‘Mithra bear hug’; don’t ask, Daniel has also no idea why Tukutz named those hugs that way (probably because Jung-Sik is a very special child, he muses to himself).
“Thanks, guess now it’s for real.”
“So Tablo…what kind of name is that? Were you drunk when you picked it up?” He swears another joke and he’s going to personally murder his friend. He glances at the lady at the other side on the counter.
“He’s always like that, his mom dropped him when he was little. He hit his head on a big rock.” The girl chuckles and places the coffee over the counter, turning around to prepare Jin’s lemon tea.
“Funny,” Jung-Sik comments not paying much attention. “So when you’re rich don’t forget that me and Jin actually put up with your emo modes through all these years.”
“I won’t,” Daniel grabs his coffee and smiles. “I’ll even dedicate a small spot to you guys on my next book, see ya.”
*** ***
It’s cold and seems like a storm is coming. Daniel pulls the high collar of the coat over his neck and buttons it. A few drops of freezing water fall from the dark sky, he speeds up his walk. When he gets to his apartment he looks like a penguin; taking the boots out and following right after the wet clothes, he walks inside the bathroom and prepares a bubble bath, yes he is that childish and likes those types of things.
Seems like ages since he last felt this way, somehow at peace. It never takes long though, not while he still has feelings for a certain man, not while he can’t stop thinking about him…
“Where are you Hyukjae? Are you even alive?” This is what he fears the most, he remembers how he first found the boy. All beaten up in a corner, money taken from him together with the sneakers and the jacket. That time Daniel hadn’t thought twice, his instinct had told him to protect the boy, to cherish him, to love him. And he had, at least while he had been given the change he had…now he only wishes he could see him one last time.
The small buzz from the front door brings him back from the sleepy land, he curses silently, grabbing some pants and a t-shirt. Each step that he takes makes itself feel and heard with the pouring rain outside, unlocking the door he thinks if maybe he still makes it in time to see the midnight movie session. All thoughts of going out are blocked away when he sees the person standing at his door.
“Do I call you Tablo now?” Hyukjae is there, skinnier than before, big dark circles under his eyes and a sad smile attached to his colorless lips. Daniel notices the book on the boy’s hand, his own book “Pieces of You”. He doesn’t smile nor does he say anything, it’s not necessary; spreading his arms wide he waits for the youngster to seek comfort and protection.
One step is taken forward, fear and uncertain reclaiming Hyukjae’s eyes. Another step carefully taken, followed by another one even bigger than the previous two…then he’s there, one breath away distance separating their bodies.
“I’m so scared…I’m so scared of this hyung.” And it’s the first time Hyukjae calls him that; it’s the first time Hyukjae allows himself to be so close to someone, that he allows someone else to be there for him.
“I know Hyukkie but I’m here, trust me.” Hyukjae’s eyes cry just like the sky outside cries and he is finally there on his arms and Daniel loses no time; he hugs him close to his chest and he kisses the soft hair. How he has missed this, how he has missed the boy’s scent, the boy’s warmth, the boy’s breath.
He feels Hyukjae’s fingers grabbing tightly his t-shirt. The soundless sobs as he cries inside the warm embrace.
“I’ve missed you so much, I tried to be strong and stop thinking about you but I’m not strong enough and…I realized I was also breaking my own rule.” He confesses and Daniel smiles fondly as he looks below at the kid.
“You made this rule to protect yourself Hyukkie but you don’t need to protect yourself from me, I won’t hurt you I promise.” Hyukjae nods, still refusing to look at Daniel’s eyes.
“Thank you for coming back, thank you so much.” He whispers as he pulls Hyukjae into a soft kiss.
“You’re so stupid.” Daniel laughs, yeah he is but its ok as long as he has this person next to him it’s ok.