(no subject)
This just in! Life goes on, and you have to read about it!
Perhaps the most important news item is that I managed to work the phrase "the blacker the berry" into conversation today. The conversation? About how, at the tender age of 10, I received my first compact disc, Beastie Boys "Licensed to Ill", and ever since that fateful day, I have wished, with all my little honky heart, to be black.
What else? The holidays came, and then they went, and then they came again, and who had to get it out of the carpet? Me, that's who.
I got something amazing for Christmas, and I haven't gotten a chance to watch it. It's a bootleg copy of "The Star Wars Holiday Special". Han and Chewie go to Wookieland to celebrate Life Day! Carrie Fisher sings a Star Wars song! And Boba Fett makes his animated appearance!
I can't fucking wait. I should go watch it right now, instead of giving you bastards the details of my juicy, sweet life.
But I won't do that to you, baby. You know you're the only one for me. Don't cry, baby, don't cry. You're my everything. Star Wars means nothing to me (n't). Shhh. Come here, let mama make it better.
You might be wondering, "Natalie, have you ordered anything off the internet lately?" And the answer to that is, yes. Yes I have.
My job is good, in that I still have it. After six months there, I still don't know what my purpose is, but every two weeks I get a paycheck. Those silly guys!
I met my brother's boyfriend, which was exciting. Now I don't have to think, "Gay gay gay gay gay JUST TELL ME YOU'RE GAY" everytime I see him.
I think what really gave it away was the gay porn I found in his room after he moved out. What manner of man forgets his PORNO?!
A gay one, apparently.
I'm under the impression someone snatched my CD case and player from my car. I say "under the impression" because I can't find it, but if you know me, you know that in no way means something has been lost or stolen. Hell, the thing could be dangling off my left arm right now.
But it isn't. And it isn't in my car. And it was the kind that jacks into the tape deck. The goddamn tape deck. How much does a Discman cost? Twenty bucks?
I hope you enjoy your CD player, thief, wherever you are! I hope Maladroit was in my CD case. You deserve it.
Oh, and The Movies is a super fun game, even though you basically have sci-fi, war, western and urban sets. And there's no sword fighting. Hopefully they'll come out with an expansion suitable for buckling my swash.
Swashing my buckle.
Bucking my washer.
...Pervert.
Perhaps the most important news item is that I managed to work the phrase "the blacker the berry" into conversation today. The conversation? About how, at the tender age of 10, I received my first compact disc, Beastie Boys "Licensed to Ill", and ever since that fateful day, I have wished, with all my little honky heart, to be black.
What else? The holidays came, and then they went, and then they came again, and who had to get it out of the carpet? Me, that's who.
I got something amazing for Christmas, and I haven't gotten a chance to watch it. It's a bootleg copy of "The Star Wars Holiday Special". Han and Chewie go to Wookieland to celebrate Life Day! Carrie Fisher sings a Star Wars song! And Boba Fett makes his animated appearance!
I can't fucking wait. I should go watch it right now, instead of giving you bastards the details of my juicy, sweet life.
But I won't do that to you, baby. You know you're the only one for me. Don't cry, baby, don't cry. You're my everything. Star Wars means nothing to me (n't). Shhh. Come here, let mama make it better.
You might be wondering, "Natalie, have you ordered anything off the internet lately?" And the answer to that is, yes. Yes I have.
My job is good, in that I still have it. After six months there, I still don't know what my purpose is, but every two weeks I get a paycheck. Those silly guys!
I met my brother's boyfriend, which was exciting. Now I don't have to think, "Gay gay gay gay gay JUST TELL ME YOU'RE GAY" everytime I see him.
I think what really gave it away was the gay porn I found in his room after he moved out. What manner of man forgets his PORNO?!
A gay one, apparently.
I'm under the impression someone snatched my CD case and player from my car. I say "under the impression" because I can't find it, but if you know me, you know that in no way means something has been lost or stolen. Hell, the thing could be dangling off my left arm right now.
But it isn't. And it isn't in my car. And it was the kind that jacks into the tape deck. The goddamn tape deck. How much does a Discman cost? Twenty bucks?
I hope you enjoy your CD player, thief, wherever you are! I hope Maladroit was in my CD case. You deserve it.
Oh, and The Movies is a super fun game, even though you basically have sci-fi, war, western and urban sets. And there's no sword fighting. Hopefully they'll come out with an expansion suitable for buckling my swash.
Swashing my buckle.
Bucking my washer.
...Pervert.