Aaaand here it comes
I am beginning to feel really terrified (when I let myself realize what is happening).
Most of the time I am just living life like normal. Go to work, work, come home from work, post stuff online, check my email, eat dinner, do laundry, sleeeeep....etc....
BUT HOW CAN I STILL BE DOING THESE THINGS? I leave the COUNTRY in like THREE WEEKS.
And not on a little joy ride, I'm MOVING AWAY. Things should be happening!
I am going to have STUDENTS! KIDS! I'm going to have kids!
And lesson plans, and classes and coworkers who are japanese and who are adults, and employment...by the japanese government...soon, soon! In less than a month. I am not doing things right, I can't be. It's ridiculous! I don't know what...
Aaaaaaaah terror...
And it's so RIDICULOUS how much is still happening...Stephan's release concert is on the 23rd in Eugene so I'll be there much of that week, then there's a concert here that friday and there's still the 2xClicks concert w/ Amanda Palmer, And then there's still Faerieworlds and there just keeps being things and I can't possibly THINK when my head is so...aaaah
I think things will/would be better when/if/after I have gotten some more stuff out of my apartment/gotten another suitcase...so I can start packing. Then I can look at things in an organized way and go "hmm yes this is my life, ready to go"
As it is, it's still just exactly the same as it has been, everything strewn about everywhere...
BLAAAAAH!
Most of the time I am just living life like normal. Go to work, work, come home from work, post stuff online, check my email, eat dinner, do laundry, sleeeeep....etc....
BUT HOW CAN I STILL BE DOING THESE THINGS? I leave the COUNTRY in like THREE WEEKS.
And not on a little joy ride, I'm MOVING AWAY. Things should be happening!
I am going to have STUDENTS! KIDS! I'm going to have kids!
And lesson plans, and classes and coworkers who are japanese and who are adults, and employment...by the japanese government...soon, soon! In less than a month. I am not doing things right, I can't be. It's ridiculous! I don't know what...
Aaaaaaaah terror...
And it's so RIDICULOUS how much is still happening...Stephan's release concert is on the 23rd in Eugene so I'll be there much of that week, then there's a concert here that friday and there's still the 2xClicks concert w/ Amanda Palmer, And then there's still Faerieworlds and there just keeps being things and I can't possibly THINK when my head is so...aaaah
I think things will/would be better when/if/after I have gotten some more stuff out of my apartment/gotten another suitcase...so I can start packing. Then I can look at things in an organized way and go "hmm yes this is my life, ready to go"
As it is, it's still just exactly the same as it has been, everything strewn about everywhere...
BLAAAAAH!