Set me free Your heaven's a lie
Today has been so much better thankfully. Mom had to go to work at 6 in the morning so my morning was really really quiet. I like it when she's at work already because then I can get myself up better knowing that if I don't get up I don't have anyone to help me so that motivates me. I have no clue what the hell happened first and second blocks. I was oblivious. At lunch John came to school, he didn't go to first or second block; could be why I don't remember those two classes today. I cracked up about what I said to him last night online. He said "What're you gonna do about it Tiny?" I don't remember what he said, but I just said "Ok sasquatch." But I wasn't saying he was furry/fuzzy/hairy at all just making a statement on his height. That was the best thing ever. But I felt bad cause he acted offended. Wolff was boring as hell but I got to hear Pascal make an impression of Yoda, and he's got a german accent I about died from. And we watched Napolean Dynamite in Bell's class which was hilarious because I can't see Napolean and NOT think of Alex Cook. They talk EXACTLY the same, and their faces are similar and they just act a lot alike. It cracks me up.
When I got home I went to bed after I talked to John for a few minutes online and worked on my homework and looked up the stupid game "Pedittle". Then I talked to dad, he wanted me to talk to my mom when she got home which I was so nervous about ya know? But I took an hour nap and said goodbye to dad cause I left the door open so I'd hear him. When she came home she was still quite pissed. We talked and straightened things out. I cried because I couldn't act defiant to stop that from happening and I showed her that it was hurting me more than her. She is worried about my memories overwhelming me because they come so vividly and I can't block them out, they block my vision out and all I can see, smell, hear are them for a long time. I told her that's one of the major reasons why I'm always mopey or I never see anything that needs to be cleaned up because if I need to go to the bathroom, I zip through the house really tense and with my eyes fixed at the floor trying to keep from memories flooding back into my mind. I told her I have cried so much that you can tell where my tears have gone because it's smooth there. Anyways she wants me to see a psychiatrist. Everything between us is cool. She's claiming she's gonna drink less. So lets hope she does. She's just got a little glow on tonight, but that's acceptable.
I'm listening to Whitney on Yahoo Talk. I'm going to make collages on computer paper of all my friends and put it into my poetry book as a scrapbook thing sorta.
euthanize me
heath
When I got home I went to bed after I talked to John for a few minutes online and worked on my homework and looked up the stupid game "Pedittle". Then I talked to dad, he wanted me to talk to my mom when she got home which I was so nervous about ya know? But I took an hour nap and said goodbye to dad cause I left the door open so I'd hear him. When she came home she was still quite pissed. We talked and straightened things out. I cried because I couldn't act defiant to stop that from happening and I showed her that it was hurting me more than her. She is worried about my memories overwhelming me because they come so vividly and I can't block them out, they block my vision out and all I can see, smell, hear are them for a long time. I told her that's one of the major reasons why I'm always mopey or I never see anything that needs to be cleaned up because if I need to go to the bathroom, I zip through the house really tense and with my eyes fixed at the floor trying to keep from memories flooding back into my mind. I told her I have cried so much that you can tell where my tears have gone because it's smooth there. Anyways she wants me to see a psychiatrist. Everything between us is cool. She's claiming she's gonna drink less. So lets hope she does. She's just got a little glow on tonight, but that's acceptable.
I'm listening to Whitney on Yahoo Talk. I'm going to make collages on computer paper of all my friends and put it into my poetry book as a scrapbook thing sorta.
euthanize me
heath