Can't sleep... too much thinking.

[slant_eyed_slut]

SO i finished watching Reno 911 with Chris and felt really sleepy. I went and laid in my bed and what do you know... I started thinking. Everything that came to mind was just so random, but i think all the fuss started to come about when i was thinking about going to my parents' tomorrow so i can get some furniture moved in. Then i thought about it even further... my parents were telling me about how they were getting my sister some new stuff... furniture-wise. (like a new pillowtop bed, dresser, all that good stuff) and here I am... living in a state of chaos because i have no furniture in my room for organization. Of course that doesnt bother me, because i knew i was gonna move furniture in at a later time... but its furniture that is falling apart... furniture i was trying to renovate myself. and now the fact that my parents are saying that they threw all of my sister's fairly new furniture out for new ones really boggles my mind. She is almost fucking THIRTY years old.. and she's engaged for crying out loud...It pisses me off so much that i sit here busting my ass with like fifty jobs so i can barely pay my bills, and yet my sister does absolutely nothing and has my parents paying all of her bills. What the crap? I dont understand why she gets rewarded for not being sucessful at all. My parents dont ask me if i need anything. Not even food. In a sense I really am doing fine without their financial support, but it just doesnt seem like they are MY parents anymore... they're just my SISTER'S parents, and she's their little 30-year old princess. ughh. its like they are purposely pissing me off to get me to come back so they can be all controlling again.
I'm just stressing right now. Finals are approaching, and Christmas is soon (which really sucks 'cause i have a retail job), and I am driving myself insane. I wish i could be content with how things are for me right now, but i really am not. Moving out isn't really what i expected at all. I guess my naive mind forsaw it to be something along the lines of the Real WOrld where everyone is honkey dorey and hangs out. I probably only see each one for an average of 2 minutes everyday, which kinda sucks and is really weird, but I've learned to adapt. I'm just trying to understand life as an adult, and adapt to everything it encompasses. IT doesn't seem like that great of a challenge so far... I mean school and work.. thats the same pattern I've experienced for awhile. School isn't goin as well as I'd like it to. I'm doing shoddy work for classes I KNOW i am easily capable of earning an 'A' in. Its a tough transition from being a somebody in high school, and being a nobody in college.
OH one last thing to vent about. Andy was gonna stay over tonight 'cause we both have late classes tomorrow. Well, after he was here for awhile, he said he needed me to give him a ride home 'cause he had to work on some Excel thing. (he said earlier that he didnt need to do it, 'cause it wouldn't affect his grade) so i took him home and he was just like ok, I'm just gonna stay here. It made me a little upset at the time, but I got over it. Well... I just found out that the fucker lied (which isn't like him at all) and had some football night or soemthing. ugh pisses me off. I hate lies.

I am done for the night. I'm starting to feel queasy. I hate the effects of stress... gahh.