(no subject)
well it's been a while since i've updated here... no heros of the day :(
but i feel like i need to write this down... last night was hard... jory ended up talking to me, and all these memories came flooding back. not good ones... things between me and jory went so wrong, and i feel so messed up because of it... and at the same time that that was happening, my parents split up, so that hit me too last night. oh man... last night was crazy... i haven't felt that low for a long time... i was talking to brendan about it last night, and i wasn't sure whether i wanted to scream at the top of my lung and throw stuff around, or if i just wanted to crawl in a corner and cry my eyes out. i wanted to go over to jory's house and beat the crap out of him, but that wouldn't have made anything any better... but at the same time i never want to see him in person again, and i told jory this right before i deleted and blocked him on my msn list. then today wasn't much better... i somehow feel detached... you know how people say they have an "out-of-body" experience? that's kinda what it's like... i feel like i'm outside, looking in my thoughts... i don't feel depressed anymore today, i just feel... nothing... like an outsider... i don't even know how to explain it... but it's weird... i don't think i've ever felt like this... and i don't know what to do... ugh, and it's so frustrating! i'm sitting here, trying to work on my sociology cuz i have an exam on wednesday, and i can't concentrate on it! and i'm seriously getting really really frustrated! and to top it off, i have to work tonight 5-9... guh....
i think i should try to work on my sociology..........
but i feel like i need to write this down... last night was hard... jory ended up talking to me, and all these memories came flooding back. not good ones... things between me and jory went so wrong, and i feel so messed up because of it... and at the same time that that was happening, my parents split up, so that hit me too last night. oh man... last night was crazy... i haven't felt that low for a long time... i was talking to brendan about it last night, and i wasn't sure whether i wanted to scream at the top of my lung and throw stuff around, or if i just wanted to crawl in a corner and cry my eyes out. i wanted to go over to jory's house and beat the crap out of him, but that wouldn't have made anything any better... but at the same time i never want to see him in person again, and i told jory this right before i deleted and blocked him on my msn list. then today wasn't much better... i somehow feel detached... you know how people say they have an "out-of-body" experience? that's kinda what it's like... i feel like i'm outside, looking in my thoughts... i don't feel depressed anymore today, i just feel... nothing... like an outsider... i don't even know how to explain it... but it's weird... i don't think i've ever felt like this... and i don't know what to do... ugh, and it's so frustrating! i'm sitting here, trying to work on my sociology cuz i have an exam on wednesday, and i can't concentrate on it! and i'm seriously getting really really frustrated! and to top it off, i have to work tonight 5-9... guh....
i think i should try to work on my sociology..........