And Time Alone Stands Still for Some
So I have stayed up for most of the night the past two nights. . .rolling around in bed thinking about things. . .because that's what slades do. There is something about this place. . .I keep saying that. . .and I mean it. . .I've had trouble pinning it down and I still don't think I have it all together, but I came up with something. I mean this place is strange and it fucks you up. . .but it is beautiful, yet I can't seem to hae any sort of feeling towards it other than weird and beautiful. . .I attach no emotion to it at all. It is hard to.
I have begun. . .in my ponderings. . .to liken this place to a really, extraordinarily attractive female. Let me qualify this by saying that this is girl that is out of reach for most males. . .an untouchable. . .or so she seems. In short she is perfect (so she doesn't exist, but bear with me). . .like Narcissus. . .she is lovely and very much above it all. . .damn near divine. Are you with me still? Maybe a little? Okay I'll keep going then. . .you are honored to gaze upon her. . .but you can't love her. . .you can never fall in love with her. Why? Because you can't associate yourself with her. . .you can't think of yourself as being a part of that. You can't hate her. . .you can only pull up enough emotional attachment to look at her and be in awe. She is better than you and you can't ever get close enough to care. . .
Now I don't think there is a real person that will ever fit that above description (and hope not for their sake as it would be a lonely place) but if one did. . .that would be Antarctica. . .this place is too big. . .too above it all. . .too extreme and bizarre. . .too much without flaw. . .to really ever understand. Because we don't understand things without flaws. . .our greatest heroes have deep problems, because that is the only way we can attach ourselves to them. . .we can't feel anything for someone that is perfect, because we are not perfect. . .we love the underdog, because the underdog is like us. . .the underdog is fighting something greater than himself or herself.
In the end you fall in love with the girl that is beautiful and quirky and fun. . .and fits you. You can tell everyone all about her, describe her funny little habits. . .and maybe they wouldn't get it, but you would. And the places you belong. . .are not the perfect, immaculate places of the world. . .because you can't touch those places. . .you can just look at them. . .those places will never be home. . .Jonesboro is imperfect. . .but it fits for now. . .and I'll always miss it more than I miss Antarctica. . .because I can't miss this place. . .I can't even describe to you what it looks like.
I hope this makes sense. . .if it doesn't then I suppose I don't have anything pinned down at all. . .but then again I didn't really expect to fully accomplish that. . .I'm just throwing it out there. . .I'm not ungrateful of being here. . . I love every second I get to put my eyes on this beautiful place. . .but it is time to be home. . .where things are probably less beautiful, but I love them all much more.
I have begun. . .in my ponderings. . .to liken this place to a really, extraordinarily attractive female. Let me qualify this by saying that this is girl that is out of reach for most males. . .an untouchable. . .or so she seems. In short she is perfect (so she doesn't exist, but bear with me). . .like Narcissus. . .she is lovely and very much above it all. . .damn near divine. Are you with me still? Maybe a little? Okay I'll keep going then. . .you are honored to gaze upon her. . .but you can't love her. . .you can never fall in love with her. Why? Because you can't associate yourself with her. . .you can't think of yourself as being a part of that. You can't hate her. . .you can only pull up enough emotional attachment to look at her and be in awe. She is better than you and you can't ever get close enough to care. . .
Now I don't think there is a real person that will ever fit that above description (and hope not for their sake as it would be a lonely place) but if one did. . .that would be Antarctica. . .this place is too big. . .too above it all. . .too extreme and bizarre. . .too much without flaw. . .to really ever understand. Because we don't understand things without flaws. . .our greatest heroes have deep problems, because that is the only way we can attach ourselves to them. . .we can't feel anything for someone that is perfect, because we are not perfect. . .we love the underdog, because the underdog is like us. . .the underdog is fighting something greater than himself or herself.
In the end you fall in love with the girl that is beautiful and quirky and fun. . .and fits you. You can tell everyone all about her, describe her funny little habits. . .and maybe they wouldn't get it, but you would. And the places you belong. . .are not the perfect, immaculate places of the world. . .because you can't touch those places. . .you can just look at them. . .those places will never be home. . .Jonesboro is imperfect. . .but it fits for now. . .and I'll always miss it more than I miss Antarctica. . .because I can't miss this place. . .I can't even describe to you what it looks like.
I hope this makes sense. . .if it doesn't then I suppose I don't have anything pinned down at all. . .but then again I didn't really expect to fully accomplish that. . .I'm just throwing it out there. . .I'm not ungrateful of being here. . . I love every second I get to put my eyes on this beautiful place. . .but it is time to be home. . .where things are probably less beautiful, but I love them all much more.