(no subject)
California. The Golden State.
I haven't ever seen anything like this. There were over 7000 lightening strikes with no rain causing over 800 brush and forest fires. I live in the Central Valley and the smoke is horrific. Have you ever been sitting around the campfire and no matter where you sit the smoke just wants to blow right in your face? That’s what it’s like outside. No shit. This will be something I remember for posterity. 2008. The year the price of oil nearly or did decimate our economy. The year the nation was sent into a tizzy because a black man with a Muslim name ran (won) for president. The year California burned down. Honestly, my asthma hasn’t been this bad since I was about ten years old. I’m coughing inside my house. Just driving to work makes me winded. And if California wasn’t the world’s fifth largest economy they’d probably fine people for going outside. It’s that bad. Instead they tell you to avoid going outside.
I bet there is some Christian fundamentalist minister preparing his sermon for this Sunday associating the fires with the legalization of gay marriage. And his parishioners will believe him. “For God is so angered with the politicians and sinners of the San Francisco Gay Area, that he is sending a message. He has smote down upon us. Our Father promised to never destroy the world by flood again after Noah built the ark, and did so with the rainbow. But he said nothing of flame. Flames! Like the flaming homosexuals mocking our institution of man and woman. God is fighting fire with fire. Witness brothers and sisters, hell hath no fury, but heaven does. Lightening with no rain? Storms with no wind. And heat with no hell. We need to pray, brothers and sisters. Pray with every cent you’ve got. This is no nickel and dime drought. No two bit pestilence. This is your paradise burning up in a Great Ball of Fire. If heaven is where you want to be, then it’s going take Visa to get you there. Pray, brothers and sisters. Pray with principle because it’s in your interest, whatever the percentage rate. And God will hear your prayers. Let our Father hear know that we don’t believe two people should pledge there love and devotion to each other unless they are exactly like you and me…”
I kind of went off there for a second. I guess I have a lot to get out. I wish I could just go with the flow. I’m frightened. I scared that people will stop going out to lunch and dinner even more than they have. I’m scared that I won’t be able to find a job outside of bartending with the economy the way it is. And I’m scared that when is does turn around I’ll be too old to do anything else.
And in addition to all this, I’m scared that I’m losing my customers, not just to economic hard times, but to the Great Beyond as well. My core group of regulars are not young whipper-snappers. And it’s true. If business was good, it would be depressing not to see some of the same smiling faces that you see every day because God has claimed them. But when business is bad, and I feel guilty for recognizing this, but it’s like my paycheck will be shrinking by more than half. So not only will I be making less, which ironically is what I feared about switching jobs, but I won’t be switching jobs.
I just hope something happens to turn this around. It’s really not as bad as all that I’m saying. It’s just too many uncertainties and tragedies have hit me at once, and I’m down. And sometimes when your down, it’s hard to haul yourself back up. But you do.