fic: Something to Do
Title: Something to Do
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany/Maris, Mike/Wendy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Puck's bored.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~2,100
A/N: Follows Quite the Precedent. The first book that Puck finds does exist, though my copy that I reference is the first edition and many years old. The second one does not.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Puck is bored. As much as he enjoys hanging with his bro, getting drunk and playing video games just doesn’t hold the same appeal anymore.
“Something bothering you, Noah?”
“No. Why?”
“Because that’s the third time you’ve sighed in five minutes,” Rachel replies.
“Oh,” he says. “I’m fine.”
“Obviously,” Rachel retorts.
“I miss pulling pranks,” he replies. “Why’d you agree to Artie’s insane plan? Maybe if you hadn’t…”
“We still would have gotten caught,” Rachel tells him. “It was only a matter of time.”
“That doesn’t sound like my optimistic bro,” Puck says.
“No,” Rachel replies. “It’s your pragmatic one.”
“Booorrinngg.”
"Why is it solely my responsibility to come up with activities?" Rachel asks.
"Touché," Puck replies. "Fine. I'll come up with next week's activity."
…
Puck spends the week researching. Rachel jokes that if he had devoted even half that amount of energy towards school, he'd be an A student. Puck, personally, has his doubts.
…
"I know what we're doing tonight," Puck announces at lunch.
"You're letting Puck plan your Friday night?" Santana questions.
Rachel shrugs. "He has things he wants to do."
"You two are going to end up in jail," Santana groans.
"Hey, I haven't even told you guys my idea yet," Puck protests.
"Let's hear your idea, Pucky," Brittany exclaims.
"Yeah, Pucky," Mike grins.
Puck rolls his eyes. "So I found this book." He holds up a thin black book.
Rachel snatches the book out of his hand. "Fire eating. A manual of instruction," she reads.
"Where'd you even get this book?" Mike questions.
"So you want a visit from the fire department, instead," Santana says.
"That seems worse," Brittany adds.
Meanwhile, Rachel is flipping through the book.
Puck watches gleefully, since it seems that Rachel might actually go for it.
"Here's something I didn't know," Rachel says. "Lighter fluid can stain concrete."
"Important lesson," Mike says.
"I like that he warns you that smoking cigarettes is harmful to your health," Brittany adds, reading over Rachel's shoulder.
"Do you think typing a warning in caps discourages people?" Mike asks, joining Brittany.
"We are most certainly not trying this Noah," Rachel tells him.
"But it's a manual of instruction," Puck protests. "That's better than googling it, right?"
"What about the part in caps that reads, fire eating is extremely dangerous and that the reader undertakes any of these stunts at his/her own risk?" Mike questions.
"Plus, then there's another warning after that in italics," Brittany adds.
"Yeah, you guys are definitely not doing that," Santana says.
"Fine," Puck huffs and slumps into the empty chair next to Brittany.
…
Rachel tries to make it up to Puck by getting fireworks for the evening. They set off Wheels and Fountains and the mild danger level feels like enough for him. It's not quite fire eating, but it's still pretty cool.
…
Puck decides on ice sculpting because it has the potential to appeal to both him and Rachel. He scours the internet looking for instructions or tutorials and stumbles onto Ice Sculpting: Art for the Uninitiated. It seems to be available cheaply locally, so he goes out and buys it. The store is the same place he found the fire eating book. He'll have to remember that The Book Barrel is the place to find strange how to books.
He eagerly reads through it and it seems so completely doable. Rach will totally go for it, he's sure. There's definitely room in her backyard and he vaguely remembers seeing a chainsaw in the garage. Though, considering that Rachel's dads are never home to really do any yard work, Puck doesn't understand why they have one in the first place.
The book also recommends using a blow torch and he thinks that he's seen one in a kitchen drawer. It all seems like serendipity to Puck; the fact that he found the book and that Rachel has the necessary tools already at her house.
…
"Another book?" Santana questions the moment Puck sits down.
"I didn't know that you could read, Pucky," Brittany says, cheekily, causing Marisa to giggle.
"Watch it," Puck growls.
"Get a sense of humor," Santana snaps.
Rachel takes the book out of Puck's hands and begins flipping through it. Marisa looks over her shoulder.
"Isn't it a bit warm for outside ice sculpting?" Marisa asks.
"We live in Ohio," Puck answers.
"It's April," Brittany points out.
"And I'm not comfortable using a chainsaw without supervision or direction from an expert, Noah," Rachel adds.
Puck sighs. "I can't win with you guys."
"Not when you come up with stupid ideas, you can't," Santana smirks.
"I don't hear you coming up with anything better, Lopez," Puck retorts.
"You didn't ask," she replies.
"Because I don't want your help."
"Enough," Rachel says. "I'm sorry, Noah, but I don't think this is going to work. Besides the concern about our lacking knowledge of proper chainsaw usage, we don't have any fuel for ours."
"You could buy some," Brittany suggests.
Rachel ignores her. "I'm taking it as a sign."
"So then what exactly are we doing tonight?"
…
"We're really hot wiring my truck?"
"You have a problem with that?" Rachel questions as she pops the hood.
"Well, no, it's not that," Puck replies, joining Rachel as she walks to the front of the trunk.
"Then what?"
Puck shrugs. "I guess I never really thought you'd want to... uh, endorse that kind of behavior."
"We're learning a skill, Noah," Rachel tells him.
"A criminally related skill," Puck replies.
"Perhaps," Rachel agrees. "But if the apocalypse happens and I survive it, knowing how to hot wire a car may come in handy."
"I think you've been spending too much time with Artie," Puck says.
"As opposed to all those stupid action flicks you've made me watch?" Rachel counters.
Since this is something Puck's actually interested in, he's not sure why he's arguing. "So what's first?"
…
“All right,” Puck says, plopping down next to Rachel during lunch on Friday. “I think I’ve finally figured it out.”
“I thought you’d give up by now, Pucky,” Brittany says.
Puck ignores her. “Since you rejected my two previous awesome ideas-”
“Yet potentially fatal,” Mike interjects.
“I have come up with one that you have to agree to.”
“I have to?”
"You do," he asserts.
"All right," Rachel says. "I'm listening."
Puck’s response is to slap two brand new decks of cards on the table.
“We’re not playing strip poker, Noah.”
“With just the two of us?” Puck scoffs. “Boorrinng.”
“Are you saying that Rachy’s not hot?” Brittany questions.
“Definitely not the point,” Puck says. “And no, I’m not suggesting poker, strip or otherwise.”
“So spit it out already, Puckerman," Santana snaps.
“Card throwing,” Puck announces, triumphantly.
“Card throwing?” Wendy repeats.
Puck nods. “It has the potential to be awesome, it’s a skill very few people have and it’s far less dangerous than fire eating or using a chainsaw.”
“Plus, I do believe I have a slight advantage since I know how to throw knives,” Rachel adds.
“You do?” Wendy questions.
Brittany nods. “She does.”
“So bro?” Puck asks. “What do you think?”
“It sounds intriguing,” Rachel replies.
“Awesome.”
…
Puck shows up with a case of beer, the two decks of cards and a pumpkin.
“Is it Halloween already?” Rachel greets when she opens the door and finds herself face to face with the large orange squash.
“Target.”
Rachel nods and they head straight to the back yard to learn how to throw cards.
It turns out card throwing isn’t simply just whipping the card really hard. Well, it is and it isn’t. It is if you are super close to the item and don’t care about what else you hit. It isn’t if you’re standing a few yards away and are concerned about accuracy.
“It seems to be all in the wrists,” Rachel observes.
Puck feels like there’s a potential dirty joke about masturbation and/or lesbians, but can’t quite seem to work it out in his head. Maybe he shouldn't have started drinking already.
“They also make metal throwing cards,” Rachel says.
“Like cards specifically made for throwing?” Puck asks.
Rachel nods and then flicks a card. “They’re metal, but still thin, with a very sharp edge.”
“So they’re kind of like rectangular throwing stars?” Puck questions.
“I suppose so,” Rachel replies.
“That sounds awesome,” Puck says. “Where’d you see those?”
“Same place I bought my throwing knives.”
“Oh. Cool. We should go there next week,” Puck says, flicking another card.
“As if you need to own sharp things that can be thrown,” Rachel replies. “I can just picture you getting drunk and deciding to practice throwing them. Except you decide to do it in your bedroom.”
“God, if I’m that stupid, I’m either at alcohol poison level drunk or too stupid to graduation.”
“I think we’re getting better,” Rachel says, examining the cards sticking out of the pumpkin. “More are sticking than not.”
“Yeah,” Puck agrees. “Though our accuracy still sucks.”
“I’ll worry about that when every card I throw, sticks in the pumpkin,” Rachel tells him.
“Well, I really want to be able to put out a candle with just a playing card,” Puck says.
“That seems like advanced level card throwing,” Rachel replies. “Leaps and bounds ahead of where we are now.”
“It’s something to aim for,” Puck says.
…
“No grand scheme this week?” Santana asks, sitting down.
For once, Puck is first to the Friday lunch table. He shakes his head. “I’m giving up.”
“I thought last week’s card throwing was quite successful,” Rachel says as she sits.
“It was,” Puck agrees. “But I’m out of ideas. At least ones that you negative nancys would actually approve of.”
“Did you just say negative nancys?” Santana questions. She turns to Rachel. “You’re a bad influence on him.”
“Finally,” Rachel says. “You guys are always going on about how he’s a bad influence on me.”
“So what are you doing tonight then?”
Puck shrugs.
“Sword fighting?” Rachel suggests.
“You have a sword?” Santana asks.
“You know how to sword fight?” Puck asks.
“Well, stage fighting,” Rachel replies. “That’s close, right?”
Both Santana and Puck shrug.
“I figure with a little adjusting, it could work,” Rachel explains.
“But you don’t think that’s too dangerous?” Puck questions.
“We won’t be using real swords,” Rachel replies.
“Well, where’s the fun in that?”
“All right, then I’ll just think of something else,” Rachel says.
…
“You want me to juggle fire,” Puck says, skeptical, looking at the equipment laid out on the grass of Rachel’s backyard. “I thought you were against fire.”
“I’m against eating it,” Rachel retorts. “This is different.”
“Shouldn’t I learn how to juggle something less dangerous first?”
“That’s why we won’t set the torches on fire right away, Noah,” Rachel explains. “But I thought it’d be easier if you just learn with the item.”
“Still,” Puck protests. “You were the one so worried about the dangers of fire. And I’m not really in the mood to visit the ER for third degree burns.”
“I’m sure at worst, you’d only get second degree burns, Noah,” Rachel says. “My reflexes are pretty quick. If you catch fire, I’ll put you out in no time.”
“I’m just surprised is all,” Puck explains.
“Well, as you can see,” Rachel says. “I have a fire extinguisher and a bucket of water.”
“Yeah, but still-”
“I also have the hose here, waiting,” Rachel continues. “The water will be turned on before we start.”
“Oh. Well, if you’re sure.”
“We don’t have to, Noah,” Rachel says. “I just thought since I had access to everything we need. Plus, it’s slightly less dangerous than using a chainsaw and definitely less dangerous than eating fire.”
“But I’ve never really juggled before,” Puck replies.
Rachel sighs. “Bon fire, then?”
“Can we roast marshmallows?”
…
“I can’t believe that you were actually going to attempt to juggle fire,” Santana says the next morning, looking out into the backyard at the still left out fire extinguisher, bucket and hose.
“I was going to water down the grass around where Noah would be standing,” Rachel replies from the stove.
“Still, Puckerman doesn’t even know how to juggle,” Santana says. “Seems risky.”
“I thought that was what Noah was going for,” Rachel explains. “That and avoiding boredom.”
“Sounds more like you reverse psych-ed him,” Santana replies.
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Does that mean you’re back to video games, stupid movies and drinking?”
“God, I hope so.”
“You really are a bad influence on him, babe,” Santana retorts.
“And you always say the sweetest things,” Rachel replies.
A/N: Believe it or not, this is the second to last fic before Ambitions begins. If there's anything you want answered, explained or followed up on, let me know and I'll do my best to incorporate it.
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany/Maris, Mike/Wendy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Puck's bored.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~2,100
A/N: Follows Quite the Precedent. The first book that Puck finds does exist, though my copy that I reference is the first edition and many years old. The second one does not.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Puck is bored. As much as he enjoys hanging with his bro, getting drunk and playing video games just doesn’t hold the same appeal anymore.
“Something bothering you, Noah?”
“No. Why?”
“Because that’s the third time you’ve sighed in five minutes,” Rachel replies.
“Oh,” he says. “I’m fine.”
“Obviously,” Rachel retorts.
“I miss pulling pranks,” he replies. “Why’d you agree to Artie’s insane plan? Maybe if you hadn’t…”
“We still would have gotten caught,” Rachel tells him. “It was only a matter of time.”
“That doesn’t sound like my optimistic bro,” Puck says.
“No,” Rachel replies. “It’s your pragmatic one.”
“Booorrinngg.”
"Why is it solely my responsibility to come up with activities?" Rachel asks.
"Touché," Puck replies. "Fine. I'll come up with next week's activity."
…
Puck spends the week researching. Rachel jokes that if he had devoted even half that amount of energy towards school, he'd be an A student. Puck, personally, has his doubts.
…
"I know what we're doing tonight," Puck announces at lunch.
"You're letting Puck plan your Friday night?" Santana questions.
Rachel shrugs. "He has things he wants to do."
"You two are going to end up in jail," Santana groans.
"Hey, I haven't even told you guys my idea yet," Puck protests.
"Let's hear your idea, Pucky," Brittany exclaims.
"Yeah, Pucky," Mike grins.
Puck rolls his eyes. "So I found this book." He holds up a thin black book.
Rachel snatches the book out of his hand. "Fire eating. A manual of instruction," she reads.
"Where'd you even get this book?" Mike questions.
"So you want a visit from the fire department, instead," Santana says.
"That seems worse," Brittany adds.
Meanwhile, Rachel is flipping through the book.
Puck watches gleefully, since it seems that Rachel might actually go for it.
"Here's something I didn't know," Rachel says. "Lighter fluid can stain concrete."
"Important lesson," Mike says.
"I like that he warns you that smoking cigarettes is harmful to your health," Brittany adds, reading over Rachel's shoulder.
"Do you think typing a warning in caps discourages people?" Mike asks, joining Brittany.
"We are most certainly not trying this Noah," Rachel tells him.
"But it's a manual of instruction," Puck protests. "That's better than googling it, right?"
"What about the part in caps that reads, fire eating is extremely dangerous and that the reader undertakes any of these stunts at his/her own risk?" Mike questions.
"Plus, then there's another warning after that in italics," Brittany adds.
"Yeah, you guys are definitely not doing that," Santana says.
"Fine," Puck huffs and slumps into the empty chair next to Brittany.
…
Rachel tries to make it up to Puck by getting fireworks for the evening. They set off Wheels and Fountains and the mild danger level feels like enough for him. It's not quite fire eating, but it's still pretty cool.
…
Puck decides on ice sculpting because it has the potential to appeal to both him and Rachel. He scours the internet looking for instructions or tutorials and stumbles onto Ice Sculpting: Art for the Uninitiated. It seems to be available cheaply locally, so he goes out and buys it. The store is the same place he found the fire eating book. He'll have to remember that The Book Barrel is the place to find strange how to books.
He eagerly reads through it and it seems so completely doable. Rach will totally go for it, he's sure. There's definitely room in her backyard and he vaguely remembers seeing a chainsaw in the garage. Though, considering that Rachel's dads are never home to really do any yard work, Puck doesn't understand why they have one in the first place.
The book also recommends using a blow torch and he thinks that he's seen one in a kitchen drawer. It all seems like serendipity to Puck; the fact that he found the book and that Rachel has the necessary tools already at her house.
…
"Another book?" Santana questions the moment Puck sits down.
"I didn't know that you could read, Pucky," Brittany says, cheekily, causing Marisa to giggle.
"Watch it," Puck growls.
"Get a sense of humor," Santana snaps.
Rachel takes the book out of Puck's hands and begins flipping through it. Marisa looks over her shoulder.
"Isn't it a bit warm for outside ice sculpting?" Marisa asks.
"We live in Ohio," Puck answers.
"It's April," Brittany points out.
"And I'm not comfortable using a chainsaw without supervision or direction from an expert, Noah," Rachel adds.
Puck sighs. "I can't win with you guys."
"Not when you come up with stupid ideas, you can't," Santana smirks.
"I don't hear you coming up with anything better, Lopez," Puck retorts.
"You didn't ask," she replies.
"Because I don't want your help."
"Enough," Rachel says. "I'm sorry, Noah, but I don't think this is going to work. Besides the concern about our lacking knowledge of proper chainsaw usage, we don't have any fuel for ours."
"You could buy some," Brittany suggests.
Rachel ignores her. "I'm taking it as a sign."
"So then what exactly are we doing tonight?"
…
"We're really hot wiring my truck?"
"You have a problem with that?" Rachel questions as she pops the hood.
"Well, no, it's not that," Puck replies, joining Rachel as she walks to the front of the trunk.
"Then what?"
Puck shrugs. "I guess I never really thought you'd want to... uh, endorse that kind of behavior."
"We're learning a skill, Noah," Rachel tells him.
"A criminally related skill," Puck replies.
"Perhaps," Rachel agrees. "But if the apocalypse happens and I survive it, knowing how to hot wire a car may come in handy."
"I think you've been spending too much time with Artie," Puck says.
"As opposed to all those stupid action flicks you've made me watch?" Rachel counters.
Since this is something Puck's actually interested in, he's not sure why he's arguing. "So what's first?"
…
“All right,” Puck says, plopping down next to Rachel during lunch on Friday. “I think I’ve finally figured it out.”
“I thought you’d give up by now, Pucky,” Brittany says.
Puck ignores her. “Since you rejected my two previous awesome ideas-”
“Yet potentially fatal,” Mike interjects.
“I have come up with one that you have to agree to.”
“I have to?”
"You do," he asserts.
"All right," Rachel says. "I'm listening."
Puck’s response is to slap two brand new decks of cards on the table.
“We’re not playing strip poker, Noah.”
“With just the two of us?” Puck scoffs. “Boorrinng.”
“Are you saying that Rachy’s not hot?” Brittany questions.
“Definitely not the point,” Puck says. “And no, I’m not suggesting poker, strip or otherwise.”
“So spit it out already, Puckerman," Santana snaps.
“Card throwing,” Puck announces, triumphantly.
“Card throwing?” Wendy repeats.
Puck nods. “It has the potential to be awesome, it’s a skill very few people have and it’s far less dangerous than fire eating or using a chainsaw.”
“Plus, I do believe I have a slight advantage since I know how to throw knives,” Rachel adds.
“You do?” Wendy questions.
Brittany nods. “She does.”
“So bro?” Puck asks. “What do you think?”
“It sounds intriguing,” Rachel replies.
“Awesome.”
…
Puck shows up with a case of beer, the two decks of cards and a pumpkin.
“Is it Halloween already?” Rachel greets when she opens the door and finds herself face to face with the large orange squash.
“Target.”
Rachel nods and they head straight to the back yard to learn how to throw cards.
It turns out card throwing isn’t simply just whipping the card really hard. Well, it is and it isn’t. It is if you are super close to the item and don’t care about what else you hit. It isn’t if you’re standing a few yards away and are concerned about accuracy.
“It seems to be all in the wrists,” Rachel observes.
Puck feels like there’s a potential dirty joke about masturbation and/or lesbians, but can’t quite seem to work it out in his head. Maybe he shouldn't have started drinking already.
“They also make metal throwing cards,” Rachel says.
“Like cards specifically made for throwing?” Puck asks.
Rachel nods and then flicks a card. “They’re metal, but still thin, with a very sharp edge.”
“So they’re kind of like rectangular throwing stars?” Puck questions.
“I suppose so,” Rachel replies.
“That sounds awesome,” Puck says. “Where’d you see those?”
“Same place I bought my throwing knives.”
“Oh. Cool. We should go there next week,” Puck says, flicking another card.
“As if you need to own sharp things that can be thrown,” Rachel replies. “I can just picture you getting drunk and deciding to practice throwing them. Except you decide to do it in your bedroom.”
“God, if I’m that stupid, I’m either at alcohol poison level drunk or too stupid to graduation.”
“I think we’re getting better,” Rachel says, examining the cards sticking out of the pumpkin. “More are sticking than not.”
“Yeah,” Puck agrees. “Though our accuracy still sucks.”
“I’ll worry about that when every card I throw, sticks in the pumpkin,” Rachel tells him.
“Well, I really want to be able to put out a candle with just a playing card,” Puck says.
“That seems like advanced level card throwing,” Rachel replies. “Leaps and bounds ahead of where we are now.”
“It’s something to aim for,” Puck says.
…
“No grand scheme this week?” Santana asks, sitting down.
For once, Puck is first to the Friday lunch table. He shakes his head. “I’m giving up.”
“I thought last week’s card throwing was quite successful,” Rachel says as she sits.
“It was,” Puck agrees. “But I’m out of ideas. At least ones that you negative nancys would actually approve of.”
“Did you just say negative nancys?” Santana questions. She turns to Rachel. “You’re a bad influence on him.”
“Finally,” Rachel says. “You guys are always going on about how he’s a bad influence on me.”
“So what are you doing tonight then?”
Puck shrugs.
“Sword fighting?” Rachel suggests.
“You have a sword?” Santana asks.
“You know how to sword fight?” Puck asks.
“Well, stage fighting,” Rachel replies. “That’s close, right?”
Both Santana and Puck shrug.
“I figure with a little adjusting, it could work,” Rachel explains.
“But you don’t think that’s too dangerous?” Puck questions.
“We won’t be using real swords,” Rachel replies.
“Well, where’s the fun in that?”
“All right, then I’ll just think of something else,” Rachel says.
…
“You want me to juggle fire,” Puck says, skeptical, looking at the equipment laid out on the grass of Rachel’s backyard. “I thought you were against fire.”
“I’m against eating it,” Rachel retorts. “This is different.”
“Shouldn’t I learn how to juggle something less dangerous first?”
“That’s why we won’t set the torches on fire right away, Noah,” Rachel explains. “But I thought it’d be easier if you just learn with the item.”
“Still,” Puck protests. “You were the one so worried about the dangers of fire. And I’m not really in the mood to visit the ER for third degree burns.”
“I’m sure at worst, you’d only get second degree burns, Noah,” Rachel says. “My reflexes are pretty quick. If you catch fire, I’ll put you out in no time.”
“I’m just surprised is all,” Puck explains.
“Well, as you can see,” Rachel says. “I have a fire extinguisher and a bucket of water.”
“Yeah, but still-”
“I also have the hose here, waiting,” Rachel continues. “The water will be turned on before we start.”
“Oh. Well, if you’re sure.”
“We don’t have to, Noah,” Rachel says. “I just thought since I had access to everything we need. Plus, it’s slightly less dangerous than using a chainsaw and definitely less dangerous than eating fire.”
“But I’ve never really juggled before,” Puck replies.
Rachel sighs. “Bon fire, then?”
“Can we roast marshmallows?”
…
“I can’t believe that you were actually going to attempt to juggle fire,” Santana says the next morning, looking out into the backyard at the still left out fire extinguisher, bucket and hose.
“I was going to water down the grass around where Noah would be standing,” Rachel replies from the stove.
“Still, Puckerman doesn’t even know how to juggle,” Santana says. “Seems risky.”
“I thought that was what Noah was going for,” Rachel explains. “That and avoiding boredom.”
“Sounds more like you reverse psych-ed him,” Santana replies.
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“Does that mean you’re back to video games, stupid movies and drinking?”
“God, I hope so.”
“You really are a bad influence on him, babe,” Santana retorts.
“And you always say the sweetest things,” Rachel replies.
A/N: Believe it or not, this is the second to last fic before Ambitions begins. If there's anything you want answered, explained or followed up on, let me know and I'll do my best to incorporate it.