fic: Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed part 2
Everything’s Different, Nothing’s Changed
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Quinn, 15 year old Drizzle
Rating: R for language
Summary: Future Fic. Quinn gave the baby up for adoption. So why is she sitting in her living room watching Funny Girl with Rachel fifteen years later?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 12,000+
Spoilers: 1x13 Sectionals
Written for the prompt: “Rachel/Quinn 18 yr old Drizzle decides to find her birth mother and when she finally does, the situation rocks Rachel and Quinn's relationship to its core. I'd like this to be loaded with resentment and jealousy and other fantastically angsty things.” over at Glee Angst Meme. I tweaked it a bit, though, Drizzle is 15 and honestly, I’m not sure if angsty enough.
A/N: The show Rachel is performing in is Sondheim’s Company. Because I can totally see Rachel singing this song. It is also where the title comes from.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Part 2
Rachel wishes the couch was more comfortable. She’s been on it for three weeks now and it’s really starting to put a kink in her neck. Between that and the restless sleep, she’s concerned her performance is slipping. Still, no one says anything, so maybe she’s just being paranoid.
Her home life isn’t all that pleasant at the moment. Besides being banished to couch, she’s also still receiving the silent treatment. Add to that the tension that seems to have permeated the house and Rachel is really glad today is a two show day, so she is barely at home. She realizes that it’s silly, since both Quinn and Hannah are gone as well, but being at home is a constant reminder of what’s wrong.
Every morning since the brunette landed on the couch, Hannah has apologized for the frostiness between Rachel and Quinn, until the singer snapped at her. She, in turn, apologized later, but the girl did stop saying I’m sorry so much, so Rachel doesn’t feel too bad about snapping.
Quinn hasn’t budged on either front. She still refuses to even acknowledge Hannah’s existence. The poor girl is starting to look like a kicked puppy and it makes the singer want to hug her constantly just to wipe the devastated look off her face.
Rachel’s material attempts at apologizing don’t seem to be working. Not that the brunette expected them to, but she was hoping they’d start the process. She doesn’t stop having flowers delivered every day, though. Rachel Berry is nothing if not persistent.
Hannah and Rachel’s relationship continues to flourish. She’s taken the girl to all the essential spots in the city, her excitement is definitely contagious. They also find themselves watching late night TV most nights and so they can’t help but bond. Still it disturbs the singer greatly that while her marriage is suffering, she seems to be forming a connection with the child her wife gave up over a decade ago. It keeps her up at night.
The blonde isn’t home when she arrives, but she tries to brush it off. Her wife is an adult and doesn’t have to report to her. Still, a note or something would be nice. It’s likely that Quinn is just blowing off some steam after work. Rachel knows that between their stalemate and work, Quinn’s feeling extra stressed. She feels horrible about it.
Still, it’s fairly late when Quinn stumbles home. She’s singing to herself when she enters and Rachel wonders if she should pretend she’s sleeping. Except it’s too late because the blonde has noticed her.
“You’re still awake,” Quinn accuses.
“Uh, yeah. It’s not easy to fall asleep on this couch.”
“Well, you deserve it.”
Rachel studies Quinn for a moment. “Are you drunk?”
“No. Maybe a little. Sophie, Graham and I went out to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” Rachel asks.
“We landed the J. Tennant Bank account today at lunch.”
“Congratulations. That’s huge.”
“It’s incredible. The three of us get to head up the project. They’re finally letting me run a team. Sure the three of us are in charge, but it’s a start. If we do well, then hopefully they’ll be giving us more in the future.”
“That’s amazing. You deserve it, especially after all the hard work you’ve put in. How come you didn’t call and tell me?”
“You were doing a show,” Quinn points out.
“So? You always leave me a voice mail.”
“Things change.”
“Meaning?”
“These past weeks you haven’t been the most supportive.”
Rachel has no reply, so she stays quiet.
“What? Nothing to say?”
“No. You’re not wrong, Quinn. This whole situation,” she gestures between them. “Well, it probably hasn’t helped.”
“You’re damn right, it hasn’t.”
“I don’t know another way to say I’m sorry.”
“You could get rid of her.”
The brunette sighs. “You know I’m not going to do that. It’s only a few more weeks and then she’s gone.”
“She shouldn’t be here at all, Rach. I can understand her curiosity. It’s why I get the annual letters, but this extends beyond just simple curiosity.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t have, if you’d just sat down and had one conversation with her, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I don’t want to have a conversation with her. I just want to know that she’s doing okay, that I made the right decision all those years ago. That’s what the letters are for.”
“Then fair’s fair. She didn’t have any letters from you. This was the only way she could think of to get her answers.”
“Which she already got from you. That’s why I was fine with you talking with her. So I wouldn’t have to.”
“I know,” Rachel acknowledges. “And I thought that would be enough for her, but it wasn’t and I just couldn’t throw her out.”
“That’s always been your problem,” Quinn argues. “Taking in strays, being too soft when someone really needs a good kick in the ass.”
“I suppose that’s true. That is how we became friends.”
“Exactly. No one else would have given me a chance after…” Quinn looks contrite for a moment. “I mean, what the hell is wrong with you, Rachel?”
“Nothing is wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with giving people a second chance. I’m not perfect. I certainly don’t expect anyone else to be.”
“Well aren’t you a fucking saint. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still abrasive, bossy, conceited and possibly insane.”
Knowing she’s drunk, the brunette tries to brush it off, only saying, “Well considering we’re married, what does that say about you?”
“That I’m crazy as well. I mean, I have to be. Why else would I be with someone who would let that girl stay here?”
“She just wanted to get to know you.”
Quinn continues as if Rachel hadn’t spoken. “It’s just bringing up all the guilt I have. Remember how I was that summer? Brittney tried everything to cheer me up, nothing worked. I suppose I should’ve just been grateful that I had somewhere to stay. But all I could do was wallow in bed. It took almost a year for it to truly disappear.”
“I know and -”
“And now she’s here and you’re spending all this time with her. Do you wish I would have kept her? That we could have been some big happy family? Because that wouldn’t be the case, Rachel. I’d still be stuck in fucking Ohio living a life I hate and resenting the hell out of her.”
“Not necessarily.”
“And what? You would have stayed in Lima to help raise her? You were out of there the minute that diploma was in your hands.”
Rachel just shrugs. “I had no reason to stay.”
“Exactly. I certainly wouldn’t have been enough of a reason.”
“You don’t know that. Besides, we were just becoming friends. This,” she gestures between them. “Was so far off in the future.”
“It didn’t stop us from having sex,” Quinn points out.
“Which you blamed it on the alcohol. Repeatedly.”
“I was scared, okay? I was already the girl who got pregnant at sixteen. We only had a year left and I just wanted to get through it unscathed.”
“And dating Rachel Berry certainly wouldn’t help that.” the sarcasm in the singer’s voice is thick.
“Well I’m sorry that you were such a freak in high school.”
“I wasn’t a freak until freshman year when you threw that slushie in my face on the first fucking day of school.”
“Oh please,” the blonde scoffs. “You were asking for it.”
“Asking for it? I was asking for it? You sound like those college frat guys who date rape.”
“Are you calling me a rapist? Because I hardly think a slushie is equal to being raped.”
“Maybe not. But getting icy cold drinks thrown in your face on a daily basis is traumatic in its own right.”
“You need to stop being such a drama queen. You survived. And it probably helped build that thick skin you’re so glad for now.”
“Oh, well, then, in that case, how can I ever thank you for making my life miserable for two years? I mean, I obviously owe you something.”
“So is that what these past weeks have been? Payback? You are a patient bitch, are you?” Quinn accuses. “Congrats. I’ve been completely miserable for the past twenty-five days.”
“Is that what you really think?” Rachel’s voice is disbelieving. “You really think I’m so petty and vengeful that I would wait fifteen years for revenge for something you did when we were in high school? That I would marry someone I was planning revenge on?”
“You do like your plans. And I can’t think of any other reason why you’d do this to me.”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it? It couldn’t just be that I wanted to help out Hannah? It’s all part of my evil scheme for revenge?”
“Don’t say her name.”
“What the hell, Quinn? I can’t even say her name now? What am I supposed to call her?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine,” Rachel says. “Go on upstairs, then, because you’re sitting on my bed.”
“Oh whatever. Like the two of you haven’t been down here thick as thieves every night.”
“What else am I supposed to do? You certainly won’t talk to me.”
“Oh poor me, I did something stupid and now I have to suffer the consequences-” the blonde stops when she notices Rachel isn’t looking at her anymore. She doesn’t turn around, though.
“Hey, kiddo,” Rachel says. “You need something?” the teenager shakes her head. “Been there long?”
“Long enough,” Hannah replies. “You guys fight loud.”
The tone of her voice causes Quinn to turn. “I suppose you have something to say, then?”
“I’ve had things to say for a long time now.”
“Hannah,” Rachel warns.
“Stay out of it, Berry,” Quinn snaps. “I want to hear what the interloper has to say.”
“Is that really true? Did you really get a slushie in your face every day?” It wasn’t what Rachel thought the teenager would ask. She had hoped that Hannah had missed that part of the conversation.
Rachel shrugs. “Nearly. It mellowed a bit after glee starting placing.”
The girl then turns to Quinn. “And you did that to her? You’re the one that started it?”
“What’s your point?”
Hannah is obviously thrown by Quinn’s apathy, but Rachel knows her wife still feels plenty guilty over it. They’ve had dozens of conversations where the singer has tried to convince her to move past it. She’s not sure if the blonde ever will.
“You don’t feel bad about throwing frozen water in her face every day?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” the blonde snarls. “And it wasn’t just me.”
“I can’t believe you married her,” Hannah says to Rachel. “She’s a colossal bitch.”
“Hannah,” the singer starts.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, little girl. My relationship with Rachel is complicated; there’s too much history between us. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. Besides, what the hell do you know about relationships? You’re only fifteen.”
“Is that why I want to throw a slushie in your face right now?”
“I’d like to see you try,” Quinn replies.
They glower at each other and Rachel is mildly freaked out by the mirror images they’re presenting. She didn’t think it was possible, but the tension in the room has double with their little staring contest.
“And where the hell do you get off evicting Rachel to the couch?” Hannah bursts out. “All she wants is for everyone to get along. And you’re acting like she’s trying to stick needles in your eyes.”
“Because I don’t want everyone to get along. You don’t belong here. There’s a reason you were adopted. I know you’re not an idiot, so I’m sure you’ve already figured it out.”
“Oh yeah. I heard all about poor little you. Got pregnant in high school. That never happens. And speaking of idiots, how could you have had unprotected sex? It’s like you were trying to ruin your life. I mean, what moron hasn’t heard of a fucking condom?”
“Language,” the brunette mutters.
“Sorry,” the girl says.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Oh, what? You were drunk? Could you be more of a fucking cliché?”
“Hannah,” Rachel admonishes. “Don’t be rude.”
“God, Berry, is there anything you didn’t tell her? Just because I said you could answer her questions truthfully, doesn’t mean you had to give every little detail.”
“Quinn, I didn’t-”
The blonde just ignores her wife. “I bet she was smug as hell when she told you about the whole Finn/Puck situation. Did she tell you she was the one that told Finn? That she’s the reason he was pummeling the shit out of Puck? That she only told Finn that I lied about him being the father because she wanted to break us up? That she’d spent the entire time I was pregnant trying to steal my boyfriend?”
Quinn is seething, waiting for an answer; while Hannah’s face is one of utter confusion. Rachel cringes, knowing what’s coming next.
“What did you say?” Hannah asks quietly.
“I said that Rachel, here, told Finn he wasn’t the father just so he would break up with me and start dating her.
The teenager just gapes at her birth mother.
Turning to Rachel, Quinn asks, “You didn’t tell her?”
“No. I didn’t think it mattered. All that matters are that you and Noah are the parents. Nothing else.”
“Puck. Puck! His name is Puck!” Quinn is beyond furious, Rachel has never seen her this red.
Hannah looks even more confused.
“His full name was Noah Puckerman, but he goes by Puck,” Rachel explains.
Hannah nods slowly while Quinn just growls.
“But that you didn’t tell her?”
Rachel shrugs. “There’s a lot I didn’t tell her. I was hoping you would.”
“I think plenty’s been said.”
“Well that’s certainly true,” Hannah grumbles.
“You stay out of this little girl,” Quinn snaps. “I don’t need judgment from some punk teenager.”
“Quinn, come on,” Rachel tries. She sighs. “It’s late. A lot’s been said. Why don’t we all go to bed before we say something we’ll regret.” Though all she can think is how it’s way too late for that.
“Fine.” Quinn turns and stomps up the stairs.
Hannah looks like she’s going to cry, so Rachel motions her over for a hug.
“It’ll be okay,” she tells the girl. “Just try to get some rest. Things’ll seem better after a good night’s sleep.”
The teenager scoffs, but nods and slowly walks up the stairs to the guest room.
Alone in the living room, the glow of the TV seems harsh. The brunette sinks onto the couch and lets the tears she was holding back, fall. She cries herself to sleep.
…
Morning comes before Rachel is ready. She hears Quinn getting ready upstairs, so she goes and makes coffee figuring it couldn’t hurt. Besides, she desperately needs some. A night spent tossing and turning on the couch wasn’t exactly restful.
She’s sipping the steamy liquid and endeavoring to read the paper when her wife enters looking hot as hell in a power suit, but hung over. She immediately downs the burning coffee before pouring herself another mug. She pulls some yogurt and sits at the table to eat.
This is how it’s been every morning since the first and Rachel thinks she might be at her breaking point. She’s certain she can’t handle anything like last night happening again. However, she has no idea how to broach any topic with the blonde. Previously if she ever attempted conversation in the morning, the look she received was so scathing, she’d find herself stuttering, before mumbling never mind.
This morning, though, it is Quinn who speaks first.
“Something like last night? It can’t happen again.”
“I agree, whole heartedly.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for the past week and I’ve really only come up with one solution.”
The grim expression on her wife’s face doesn’t seem to bode well for Rachel, but she just takes a deep breath and waits.
“Logically, I know why you’ve…done what you’ve done with this whole situation,” the blonde starts. “But emotionally, I just can’t get past it. I’ve tried, honestly, I have, Rach.”
The singer nods. She knows Quinn has.
“And it’s just too much for me. I’m becoming afraid. For us and our marriage. We’ve never fought this long. It’s exhausting and excruciating.”
Rachel nods in agreement.
“I want it to end. And the only way I can think to accomplish this is to issue you and ultimatum. So here it is. It’s either her or me. Either she’s gone in five days or I am.”
Rachel’s pretty sure her jaw just hit the table. “What?” she squeaks finally.
“If she’s not gone in five days, I’m moving out. It’s just that simple. I can’t take another month of this. But I know it takes time to figure things out, so I’m giving you five days. I hope I’m not disappointed.” Quinn seems almost resigned to moving out. Rachel’s not sure how to feel about that. Her wife really doesn’t think she would choose Hannah over her, did she?
“Fine,” the singer says. “I’ll give her parents a call in a little bit and tell them she’s coming back early.
The blonde looks up, so relieved that Rachel vows to have everything resolved before her show tonight.
“Okay. Good. Well, I better get to work,” Quinn says standing. “We’ll talk more tomorrow morning?”
The singer nods and watcher her walk out.
Knowing there’s no use putting it off, she dials the Bryants.
“Hello?”
“Ah, good morning, Tom. It’s Rachel Berry.”
“Morning. There’s nothing wrong with Hannah, is there?”
“No. Not at all. But do you have a moment to talk?”
“Certainly.”
“I know I said Hannah could stay here all summer, but I’m going to have to retract that offer. It’s just not a good idea,” Rachel tells him. “I knew it wouldn’t be, but I was hoping it would work itself out. It hasn’t. It’s gotten worse, actually.”
“Is she acting out? Because I told her if she behaved badly, that they’d be hell to pay.”
“Uh, not exactly. It’s just she and Quinn are too similar I think, too willful. And I just think it would be better if she comes home early.”
“How does Hannah feel about this?”
“I haven’t talk to her yet, but she doesn’t have a choice.”
“She’ll fight you.”
“I expect she will,” Rachel replies. “But I’m hoping she’ll understand.”
“Good luck with that.”
“I’m going to try and exchange her ticket. We’ll cover any additional charges.”
She’s met with a full minute of silence before Tom asks, “What did she do?”
Rachel sighs. “It’s just a complicated situation, Tom. I thought if I just gave it time, it would be okay. But apparently, I was wrong.”
Silence again. “Thank you for trying. I’m sure it’s been wearisome, but we appreciate it. Hannah really needed this, I think. And even if it’s not for the whole summer… Perhaps we should have told her sooner, but hindsight is 20/20.”
“It certainly is.”
“Well, let us know when she’s arriving.”
“I will,” she assures him. “And thanks for your understanding.”
“Of course. But if she did something-”
“I swear it’s not that. It’s the situation. I promise.”
“All right.” Tom pauses as if he’s going to say something else. Rachel waits. “Uh, maybe this is awkward, but does Quinn still want a letter next year?”
That’s an excellent question. “I’m not sure. I’ll ask her and we’ll let you know.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
The house is too quiet as she just stares at her phone. Oddly, she feels like she’s failed, though whether it’s as a spouse or as a possible parent. Or maybe she’s just failed her own personal standards. She’s not sure.
She senses she’s being watched, but waits for Hannah to speak. It’s agonizing, but finally, the girl asks, “So she finally succeeded, did she?”
“What’s that?”
“Quinn. She finally got you to kick me out.”
Rachel was hoping to have a chance to shower before having this conversation. She still doesn’t turn around, waiting for the girl to circle. She does eventually.
“Hannah, last night is not something I want to experience ever again.”
“Really? Cause for me that was more fun than a day at Six Flags.”
She feels a headache coming on and so she stands, pours herself another cup of coffee and one for Hannah. She sits back down and sets the mug in front of the teenager. They sip in silence before Rachel feels ready to speak.
“As I’m sure you’re aware, Hannah,” she starts. “This…situation we find ourselves in, it isn’t the most ideal. And last night seems to have been the breaking point.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?
“I was given an ultimatum,” the singer tells her. “You or Quinn. And I can’t lose her. And honestly, this past month I’ve been acting selfishly naive; thinking I could get to know you and not affect Quinn. Deep down, I knew what this was going to do to her and yet I still put her in this position.”
“Why?”
She sighs. “Because I recognized the look in your eye. Seeing on our doorstep that first time, I saw a kindred spirit and so I had to lend a hand. And sure, I was partly hoping your presence would assist Quinn in all her swirling emotions regarding this issue, but that was foolish. She and I don’t solve issues the same way. My in your face approach annoys the shit out of her, truthfully. She’s more into subtly. It wasn’t fair of me.”
“Rachel,” the girls tries.
“Look, I know you’re looking for something here and I know you haven’t found it yet. And honestly, I was hoping you would. But it seems we’re out of time. I’d like to keep in touch, if you want. Emails or whatever.”
“No. Please not yet. I can’t. I’m not ready to go back yet. I thought I had more time.”
“Don’t we always?”
“I won’t go. You can put me on a plane or train or bus, but I’ll just get off the first chance I get.”
“Really?” Rachel asks. “You would do that to your parents? And me? You’d give me that kind of guilt? I thought we were at least friends, Hannah.”
“We are,” the girl assures.
“Then please, just give it a chance. A lot of time has passed, at least in teenage years, so maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”
“Yeah, it’ll probably be worse.”
“You’re being over dramatic. And I would know,” Rachel tells her. “But you can’t stay here. My marriage is in jeopardy. And I just can’t risk that. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Tears have started running down Hannah’s face. “But they’re gonna ground me forever. For running off. And we were all so mad that night. What if that anger has just festered? I’ll spend my entire sophomore year practically under house arrest. I know it.”
“And you don’t think you deserve that a little? You ran off, half way across the country. That’s extreme at any age, but at fifteen? It sounds like a parent’s worst nightmare.”
“Well, yeah,” she sulks. But after a few minutes, she nods.
So they go online to see about switching her ticket. They manage to book her a seat for the next morning. They email her parents. They call her work and tell them, apologizing profusely, but Harold, the shop keeper just brushes them off, saying it’s fine, since the job was more a favor for Rachel than filling an actual need. And then Hannah wants to pack, so they head into her room.
They don’t really talk. The brunette just watches the girl stuff things into her duffel bag. Rachel, guiltily, is glad they’re not talking. She’s emotionally exhausted and she’s concerned of what an attempt at another discussion would bring.
The teenager seems to hate the silence, but doesn’t say anything to break it. She’s grateful, knowing it’ll happen eventually.
“Listen, Rachel, I’m sorry,” Hannah says, finally.
“What for?”
“Everything, I guess. I feel so stupid. I mean, I’ve ruined your marriage.”
“You haven’t.”
“I haven’t help.”
“Well, no. You haven’t helped,” Rachel reluctantly replies. “But I made my choices.”
“Yeah, well,” the girl seems unwilling to really say what she’s thinking. “It’s just these past couple weeks, I’ve been kinda wishing she’d kept me.”
“Oh, Hannah.”
“And then you could be my mom, too. It would be so awesome.”
Rachel shakes her head. “Quinn’s right, though, you know. If she had kept you, all three of our lives would be vastly different. I can’t even say that Quinn and I would have ended up together.”
“I can.”
“You’re sweet. But none of us would be the same people. That’s just how it works.”
“Maybe.”
“Besides, the only reason you think I’m cool is because I’m not your mom. It would be totally different if I’d been telling you no from an early age.”
“I guess.”
The rest of the morning and afternoon is spent talking. It’s as if Hannah feels she has to say everything and anything she’s thinking because she’ll never get another chance. And maybe she won’t. Rachel has every intention of continuing contact, but knows that if Quinn demanded otherwise, she would apologetically stop.
However, once they start watching TV, she’s quiet; almost as if she’s trying to absorb Rachel’s presence.
Hannah is packed and ready to go when it’s time for Rachel to leave for the theater. The two of them head out, still not really talking. It’s an odd contrast to the past month or even a few hours earlier, when the teenager’s been chatting her ear off. She never thought she’d find someone who rivaled her in ability to prattle on and certainly not Hannah. It makes her idly wonder if the girl’s right, that their mother daughter relationship would have been awesome. Maybe.
Rachel leaves a note for Quinn explaining what’s been figured out with the Hannah situation. Mostly because she’s not sure if her wife would pick up or not, and either way, she doesn’t want to know.
It’s actually the fourth time Hannah’s seen the show. When the girl had asked eighteen days ago to see it again, Rachel was surprised. But Hannah just told her she was feeling kind of homesick and she really enjoyed hearing her sing. Rachel then offered to sing at the house, but the teenager said it just wasn’t the same. So Rachel just called up and asked for a comp.
So when it happened two weeks later, she just called up the theater and requested another ticket. And now that they’re parting company, Rachel is already anticipating Hannah asking and so she dials the box office.
She gives the performance 150% instead of her usual 110% because of Hannah. Everyone notices and shoots her odd looks during the second act, but she ignores them. She speculates that it’s because she’s been slightly off for the past month. She hates to think life is affecting her performances, but knows it’s true.
Afterward, Hannah greets her with a fierce hug and she can’t help but smile. God help her, she was going to miss the girl. How did she manage to insinuate herself so easily in Rachel’s heart so quickly?
At home, they quietly watch TV and chat. Nothing too serious; been there, done that. It’s a lovely final evening for Hannah’s stay.
In the morning, Quinn and Rachel sip coffee, not talking and reading the paper. Even though the silent treatment is still on-going, the tension surrounding the couple seems to have dissipated immensely. The brunette holds back a sigh of relief at this because it means that, at least in her mind, her marriage isn’t over, and just maybe things will eventually return to normal.
The good bye at the airport is brief. It’s just a long, tight hug and a whispered thanks from Hannah, before the girl places her carry on onto the conveyer belt and walks through the metal detector. The singer watches her until she’s swallowed up by the constantly flowing crowd. She can only hope that the teenager heads home and doesn’t run off. Hannah promised she wouldn’t, but there’s still lingering doubts in Rachel’s mind.
Still, a phone call or text was promised upon Hannah’s safe arrival, so all she can do is wait.
It’s strange, though, not having Hannah around. Even if they didn’t spend every minute together, Rachel has gotten very used to having her around. It’s odd to think she’ll most likely never see her again. They’ll keep in contact, but ever interacting in person again seems highly unlikely.
Six hours later she receives a text from Hannah stating she’s home safe and sound, sitting on her own bed, waiting for her parents to deal out the punishments. Rachel wishes her good luck and promises to email in a few days.
She almost calls in and requests that her understudy perform tonight. However, at the last moment, she stops herself. The singer wants to give her wife a little more time to get her bearings back. Besides, she loves performing and knows she’ll spend the rest of the evening feeling off if she doesn’t.
So she heads in and gives the show her all. And it feels amazing, like it did the night before and she’s glad because she was secretly worried that all the drama, plus sleeping on the couch was ruining her.
Rachel once again returns to a dark house, though in the kitchen she finds her wife sitting at the table, sipping from a mug. She sits down across from her and waits. She knows nothing’s going to be fixed instantly, but she feels like she can’t go to sleep until something’s said.
“So she’s gone?”
Rachel nods. “She’s gone.”
“Good.”
“Yeah. Good.”
Feeling horribly awkward, Rachel finds her fingers tapping out What Would We Do Without You? on the table. However, the silence is unnerving, so she comments, “I see you removed the bedding from the couch.”
“It seems silly to leave it, if you’re not sleeping there.”
“I’m not?”
Quinn nods. “Though I’m still mad at you.”
“I’d expect nothing else.”
This evokes a small smile from the blonde. “Good. I’d hate to act unexpectedly.”
The look of fondness on Quinn’s face is how Rachel knows they’ll be okay, eventually, despite both having said some awful things. Because as their fighting proved, they’ve already said and done a lot of horrendous things in their past and they managed to get past those. A month long fight over the sudden appearance of the girl Quinn gave up years ago seems kind of miniscule in relation to how Rachel felt about the blonde sophomore year. At least that’s what she tells herself.
Still, lying in her bed for the first time in twenty-two days, the singer can’t help but sigh in contentment. She hears her wife stifling a giggle. She looks over, feeling utterly cozy.
“Comfy, baby?”
“Very. It’s almost perfect.”
“Almost?”
“Well,” Rachel answers, pouting slightly. “I’m here and you’re all the way over there.”
“And that’s how it’s going to stay. I told you, I’m still mad.”
“Understandable. But fear not, I have a plan to make it up to you.”
“You better.”
Rachel’s feel too emotional exhausted to continue the banter, so she whispers a “good night” and “I love you” before closing her eyes. She thinks she hears Quinn murmur “I love you too”, and can’t help but smile.
In the morning, the two of them are spooned together, their bodies automatically seeking each other in their sleep.
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Quinn, 15 year old Drizzle
Rating: R for language
Summary: Future Fic. Quinn gave the baby up for adoption. So why is she sitting in her living room watching Funny Girl with Rachel fifteen years later?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 12,000+
Spoilers: 1x13 Sectionals
Written for the prompt: “Rachel/Quinn 18 yr old Drizzle decides to find her birth mother and when she finally does, the situation rocks Rachel and Quinn's relationship to its core. I'd like this to be loaded with resentment and jealousy and other fantastically angsty things.” over at Glee Angst Meme. I tweaked it a bit, though, Drizzle is 15 and honestly, I’m not sure if angsty enough.
A/N: The show Rachel is performing in is Sondheim’s Company. Because I can totally see Rachel singing this song. It is also where the title comes from.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Part 2
Rachel wishes the couch was more comfortable. She’s been on it for three weeks now and it’s really starting to put a kink in her neck. Between that and the restless sleep, she’s concerned her performance is slipping. Still, no one says anything, so maybe she’s just being paranoid.
Her home life isn’t all that pleasant at the moment. Besides being banished to couch, she’s also still receiving the silent treatment. Add to that the tension that seems to have permeated the house and Rachel is really glad today is a two show day, so she is barely at home. She realizes that it’s silly, since both Quinn and Hannah are gone as well, but being at home is a constant reminder of what’s wrong.
Every morning since the brunette landed on the couch, Hannah has apologized for the frostiness between Rachel and Quinn, until the singer snapped at her. She, in turn, apologized later, but the girl did stop saying I’m sorry so much, so Rachel doesn’t feel too bad about snapping.
Quinn hasn’t budged on either front. She still refuses to even acknowledge Hannah’s existence. The poor girl is starting to look like a kicked puppy and it makes the singer want to hug her constantly just to wipe the devastated look off her face.
Rachel’s material attempts at apologizing don’t seem to be working. Not that the brunette expected them to, but she was hoping they’d start the process. She doesn’t stop having flowers delivered every day, though. Rachel Berry is nothing if not persistent.
Hannah and Rachel’s relationship continues to flourish. She’s taken the girl to all the essential spots in the city, her excitement is definitely contagious. They also find themselves watching late night TV most nights and so they can’t help but bond. Still it disturbs the singer greatly that while her marriage is suffering, she seems to be forming a connection with the child her wife gave up over a decade ago. It keeps her up at night.
The blonde isn’t home when she arrives, but she tries to brush it off. Her wife is an adult and doesn’t have to report to her. Still, a note or something would be nice. It’s likely that Quinn is just blowing off some steam after work. Rachel knows that between their stalemate and work, Quinn’s feeling extra stressed. She feels horrible about it.
Still, it’s fairly late when Quinn stumbles home. She’s singing to herself when she enters and Rachel wonders if she should pretend she’s sleeping. Except it’s too late because the blonde has noticed her.
“You’re still awake,” Quinn accuses.
“Uh, yeah. It’s not easy to fall asleep on this couch.”
“Well, you deserve it.”
Rachel studies Quinn for a moment. “Are you drunk?”
“No. Maybe a little. Sophie, Graham and I went out to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” Rachel asks.
“We landed the J. Tennant Bank account today at lunch.”
“Congratulations. That’s huge.”
“It’s incredible. The three of us get to head up the project. They’re finally letting me run a team. Sure the three of us are in charge, but it’s a start. If we do well, then hopefully they’ll be giving us more in the future.”
“That’s amazing. You deserve it, especially after all the hard work you’ve put in. How come you didn’t call and tell me?”
“You were doing a show,” Quinn points out.
“So? You always leave me a voice mail.”
“Things change.”
“Meaning?”
“These past weeks you haven’t been the most supportive.”
Rachel has no reply, so she stays quiet.
“What? Nothing to say?”
“No. You’re not wrong, Quinn. This whole situation,” she gestures between them. “Well, it probably hasn’t helped.”
“You’re damn right, it hasn’t.”
“I don’t know another way to say I’m sorry.”
“You could get rid of her.”
The brunette sighs. “You know I’m not going to do that. It’s only a few more weeks and then she’s gone.”
“She shouldn’t be here at all, Rach. I can understand her curiosity. It’s why I get the annual letters, but this extends beyond just simple curiosity.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t have, if you’d just sat down and had one conversation with her, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“I don’t want to have a conversation with her. I just want to know that she’s doing okay, that I made the right decision all those years ago. That’s what the letters are for.”
“Then fair’s fair. She didn’t have any letters from you. This was the only way she could think of to get her answers.”
“Which she already got from you. That’s why I was fine with you talking with her. So I wouldn’t have to.”
“I know,” Rachel acknowledges. “And I thought that would be enough for her, but it wasn’t and I just couldn’t throw her out.”
“That’s always been your problem,” Quinn argues. “Taking in strays, being too soft when someone really needs a good kick in the ass.”
“I suppose that’s true. That is how we became friends.”
“Exactly. No one else would have given me a chance after…” Quinn looks contrite for a moment. “I mean, what the hell is wrong with you, Rachel?”
“Nothing is wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with giving people a second chance. I’m not perfect. I certainly don’t expect anyone else to be.”
“Well aren’t you a fucking saint. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re still abrasive, bossy, conceited and possibly insane.”
Knowing she’s drunk, the brunette tries to brush it off, only saying, “Well considering we’re married, what does that say about you?”
“That I’m crazy as well. I mean, I have to be. Why else would I be with someone who would let that girl stay here?”
“She just wanted to get to know you.”
Quinn continues as if Rachel hadn’t spoken. “It’s just bringing up all the guilt I have. Remember how I was that summer? Brittney tried everything to cheer me up, nothing worked. I suppose I should’ve just been grateful that I had somewhere to stay. But all I could do was wallow in bed. It took almost a year for it to truly disappear.”
“I know and -”
“And now she’s here and you’re spending all this time with her. Do you wish I would have kept her? That we could have been some big happy family? Because that wouldn’t be the case, Rachel. I’d still be stuck in fucking Ohio living a life I hate and resenting the hell out of her.”
“Not necessarily.”
“And what? You would have stayed in Lima to help raise her? You were out of there the minute that diploma was in your hands.”
Rachel just shrugs. “I had no reason to stay.”
“Exactly. I certainly wouldn’t have been enough of a reason.”
“You don’t know that. Besides, we were just becoming friends. This,” she gestures between them. “Was so far off in the future.”
“It didn’t stop us from having sex,” Quinn points out.
“Which you blamed it on the alcohol. Repeatedly.”
“I was scared, okay? I was already the girl who got pregnant at sixteen. We only had a year left and I just wanted to get through it unscathed.”
“And dating Rachel Berry certainly wouldn’t help that.” the sarcasm in the singer’s voice is thick.
“Well I’m sorry that you were such a freak in high school.”
“I wasn’t a freak until freshman year when you threw that slushie in my face on the first fucking day of school.”
“Oh please,” the blonde scoffs. “You were asking for it.”
“Asking for it? I was asking for it? You sound like those college frat guys who date rape.”
“Are you calling me a rapist? Because I hardly think a slushie is equal to being raped.”
“Maybe not. But getting icy cold drinks thrown in your face on a daily basis is traumatic in its own right.”
“You need to stop being such a drama queen. You survived. And it probably helped build that thick skin you’re so glad for now.”
“Oh, well, then, in that case, how can I ever thank you for making my life miserable for two years? I mean, I obviously owe you something.”
“So is that what these past weeks have been? Payback? You are a patient bitch, are you?” Quinn accuses. “Congrats. I’ve been completely miserable for the past twenty-five days.”
“Is that what you really think?” Rachel’s voice is disbelieving. “You really think I’m so petty and vengeful that I would wait fifteen years for revenge for something you did when we were in high school? That I would marry someone I was planning revenge on?”
“You do like your plans. And I can’t think of any other reason why you’d do this to me.”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it? It couldn’t just be that I wanted to help out Hannah? It’s all part of my evil scheme for revenge?”
“Don’t say her name.”
“What the hell, Quinn? I can’t even say her name now? What am I supposed to call her?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine,” Rachel says. “Go on upstairs, then, because you’re sitting on my bed.”
“Oh whatever. Like the two of you haven’t been down here thick as thieves every night.”
“What else am I supposed to do? You certainly won’t talk to me.”
“Oh poor me, I did something stupid and now I have to suffer the consequences-” the blonde stops when she notices Rachel isn’t looking at her anymore. She doesn’t turn around, though.
“Hey, kiddo,” Rachel says. “You need something?” the teenager shakes her head. “Been there long?”
“Long enough,” Hannah replies. “You guys fight loud.”
The tone of her voice causes Quinn to turn. “I suppose you have something to say, then?”
“I’ve had things to say for a long time now.”
“Hannah,” Rachel warns.
“Stay out of it, Berry,” Quinn snaps. “I want to hear what the interloper has to say.”
“Is that really true? Did you really get a slushie in your face every day?” It wasn’t what Rachel thought the teenager would ask. She had hoped that Hannah had missed that part of the conversation.
Rachel shrugs. “Nearly. It mellowed a bit after glee starting placing.”
The girl then turns to Quinn. “And you did that to her? You’re the one that started it?”
“What’s your point?”
Hannah is obviously thrown by Quinn’s apathy, but Rachel knows her wife still feels plenty guilty over it. They’ve had dozens of conversations where the singer has tried to convince her to move past it. She’s not sure if the blonde ever will.
“You don’t feel bad about throwing frozen water in her face every day?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” the blonde snarls. “And it wasn’t just me.”
“I can’t believe you married her,” Hannah says to Rachel. “She’s a colossal bitch.”
“Hannah,” the singer starts.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, little girl. My relationship with Rachel is complicated; there’s too much history between us. We’ve known each other since kindergarten. Besides, what the hell do you know about relationships? You’re only fifteen.”
“Is that why I want to throw a slushie in your face right now?”
“I’d like to see you try,” Quinn replies.
They glower at each other and Rachel is mildly freaked out by the mirror images they’re presenting. She didn’t think it was possible, but the tension in the room has double with their little staring contest.
“And where the hell do you get off evicting Rachel to the couch?” Hannah bursts out. “All she wants is for everyone to get along. And you’re acting like she’s trying to stick needles in your eyes.”
“Because I don’t want everyone to get along. You don’t belong here. There’s a reason you were adopted. I know you’re not an idiot, so I’m sure you’ve already figured it out.”
“Oh yeah. I heard all about poor little you. Got pregnant in high school. That never happens. And speaking of idiots, how could you have had unprotected sex? It’s like you were trying to ruin your life. I mean, what moron hasn’t heard of a fucking condom?”
“Language,” the brunette mutters.
“Sorry,” the girl says.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Oh, what? You were drunk? Could you be more of a fucking cliché?”
“Hannah,” Rachel admonishes. “Don’t be rude.”
“God, Berry, is there anything you didn’t tell her? Just because I said you could answer her questions truthfully, doesn’t mean you had to give every little detail.”
“Quinn, I didn’t-”
The blonde just ignores her wife. “I bet she was smug as hell when she told you about the whole Finn/Puck situation. Did she tell you she was the one that told Finn? That she’s the reason he was pummeling the shit out of Puck? That she only told Finn that I lied about him being the father because she wanted to break us up? That she’d spent the entire time I was pregnant trying to steal my boyfriend?”
Quinn is seething, waiting for an answer; while Hannah’s face is one of utter confusion. Rachel cringes, knowing what’s coming next.
“What did you say?” Hannah asks quietly.
“I said that Rachel, here, told Finn he wasn’t the father just so he would break up with me and start dating her.
The teenager just gapes at her birth mother.
Turning to Rachel, Quinn asks, “You didn’t tell her?”
“No. I didn’t think it mattered. All that matters are that you and Noah are the parents. Nothing else.”
“Puck. Puck! His name is Puck!” Quinn is beyond furious, Rachel has never seen her this red.
Hannah looks even more confused.
“His full name was Noah Puckerman, but he goes by Puck,” Rachel explains.
Hannah nods slowly while Quinn just growls.
“But that you didn’t tell her?”
Rachel shrugs. “There’s a lot I didn’t tell her. I was hoping you would.”
“I think plenty’s been said.”
“Well that’s certainly true,” Hannah grumbles.
“You stay out of this little girl,” Quinn snaps. “I don’t need judgment from some punk teenager.”
“Quinn, come on,” Rachel tries. She sighs. “It’s late. A lot’s been said. Why don’t we all go to bed before we say something we’ll regret.” Though all she can think is how it’s way too late for that.
“Fine.” Quinn turns and stomps up the stairs.
Hannah looks like she’s going to cry, so Rachel motions her over for a hug.
“It’ll be okay,” she tells the girl. “Just try to get some rest. Things’ll seem better after a good night’s sleep.”
The teenager scoffs, but nods and slowly walks up the stairs to the guest room.
Alone in the living room, the glow of the TV seems harsh. The brunette sinks onto the couch and lets the tears she was holding back, fall. She cries herself to sleep.
…
Morning comes before Rachel is ready. She hears Quinn getting ready upstairs, so she goes and makes coffee figuring it couldn’t hurt. Besides, she desperately needs some. A night spent tossing and turning on the couch wasn’t exactly restful.
She’s sipping the steamy liquid and endeavoring to read the paper when her wife enters looking hot as hell in a power suit, but hung over. She immediately downs the burning coffee before pouring herself another mug. She pulls some yogurt and sits at the table to eat.
This is how it’s been every morning since the first and Rachel thinks she might be at her breaking point. She’s certain she can’t handle anything like last night happening again. However, she has no idea how to broach any topic with the blonde. Previously if she ever attempted conversation in the morning, the look she received was so scathing, she’d find herself stuttering, before mumbling never mind.
This morning, though, it is Quinn who speaks first.
“Something like last night? It can’t happen again.”
“I agree, whole heartedly.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for the past week and I’ve really only come up with one solution.”
The grim expression on her wife’s face doesn’t seem to bode well for Rachel, but she just takes a deep breath and waits.
“Logically, I know why you’ve…done what you’ve done with this whole situation,” the blonde starts. “But emotionally, I just can’t get past it. I’ve tried, honestly, I have, Rach.”
The singer nods. She knows Quinn has.
“And it’s just too much for me. I’m becoming afraid. For us and our marriage. We’ve never fought this long. It’s exhausting and excruciating.”
Rachel nods in agreement.
“I want it to end. And the only way I can think to accomplish this is to issue you and ultimatum. So here it is. It’s either her or me. Either she’s gone in five days or I am.”
Rachel’s pretty sure her jaw just hit the table. “What?” she squeaks finally.
“If she’s not gone in five days, I’m moving out. It’s just that simple. I can’t take another month of this. But I know it takes time to figure things out, so I’m giving you five days. I hope I’m not disappointed.” Quinn seems almost resigned to moving out. Rachel’s not sure how to feel about that. Her wife really doesn’t think she would choose Hannah over her, did she?
“Fine,” the singer says. “I’ll give her parents a call in a little bit and tell them she’s coming back early.
The blonde looks up, so relieved that Rachel vows to have everything resolved before her show tonight.
“Okay. Good. Well, I better get to work,” Quinn says standing. “We’ll talk more tomorrow morning?”
The singer nods and watcher her walk out.
Knowing there’s no use putting it off, she dials the Bryants.
“Hello?”
“Ah, good morning, Tom. It’s Rachel Berry.”
“Morning. There’s nothing wrong with Hannah, is there?”
“No. Not at all. But do you have a moment to talk?”
“Certainly.”
“I know I said Hannah could stay here all summer, but I’m going to have to retract that offer. It’s just not a good idea,” Rachel tells him. “I knew it wouldn’t be, but I was hoping it would work itself out. It hasn’t. It’s gotten worse, actually.”
“Is she acting out? Because I told her if she behaved badly, that they’d be hell to pay.”
“Uh, not exactly. It’s just she and Quinn are too similar I think, too willful. And I just think it would be better if she comes home early.”
“How does Hannah feel about this?”
“I haven’t talk to her yet, but she doesn’t have a choice.”
“She’ll fight you.”
“I expect she will,” Rachel replies. “But I’m hoping she’ll understand.”
“Good luck with that.”
“I’m going to try and exchange her ticket. We’ll cover any additional charges.”
She’s met with a full minute of silence before Tom asks, “What did she do?”
Rachel sighs. “It’s just a complicated situation, Tom. I thought if I just gave it time, it would be okay. But apparently, I was wrong.”
Silence again. “Thank you for trying. I’m sure it’s been wearisome, but we appreciate it. Hannah really needed this, I think. And even if it’s not for the whole summer… Perhaps we should have told her sooner, but hindsight is 20/20.”
“It certainly is.”
“Well, let us know when she’s arriving.”
“I will,” she assures him. “And thanks for your understanding.”
“Of course. But if she did something-”
“I swear it’s not that. It’s the situation. I promise.”
“All right.” Tom pauses as if he’s going to say something else. Rachel waits. “Uh, maybe this is awkward, but does Quinn still want a letter next year?”
That’s an excellent question. “I’m not sure. I’ll ask her and we’ll let you know.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
The house is too quiet as she just stares at her phone. Oddly, she feels like she’s failed, though whether it’s as a spouse or as a possible parent. Or maybe she’s just failed her own personal standards. She’s not sure.
She senses she’s being watched, but waits for Hannah to speak. It’s agonizing, but finally, the girl asks, “So she finally succeeded, did she?”
“What’s that?”
“Quinn. She finally got you to kick me out.”
Rachel was hoping to have a chance to shower before having this conversation. She still doesn’t turn around, waiting for the girl to circle. She does eventually.
“Hannah, last night is not something I want to experience ever again.”
“Really? Cause for me that was more fun than a day at Six Flags.”
She feels a headache coming on and so she stands, pours herself another cup of coffee and one for Hannah. She sits back down and sets the mug in front of the teenager. They sip in silence before Rachel feels ready to speak.
“As I’m sure you’re aware, Hannah,” she starts. “This…situation we find ourselves in, it isn’t the most ideal. And last night seems to have been the breaking point.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?
“I was given an ultimatum,” the singer tells her. “You or Quinn. And I can’t lose her. And honestly, this past month I’ve been acting selfishly naive; thinking I could get to know you and not affect Quinn. Deep down, I knew what this was going to do to her and yet I still put her in this position.”
“Why?”
She sighs. “Because I recognized the look in your eye. Seeing on our doorstep that first time, I saw a kindred spirit and so I had to lend a hand. And sure, I was partly hoping your presence would assist Quinn in all her swirling emotions regarding this issue, but that was foolish. She and I don’t solve issues the same way. My in your face approach annoys the shit out of her, truthfully. She’s more into subtly. It wasn’t fair of me.”
“Rachel,” the girls tries.
“Look, I know you’re looking for something here and I know you haven’t found it yet. And honestly, I was hoping you would. But it seems we’re out of time. I’d like to keep in touch, if you want. Emails or whatever.”
“No. Please not yet. I can’t. I’m not ready to go back yet. I thought I had more time.”
“Don’t we always?”
“I won’t go. You can put me on a plane or train or bus, but I’ll just get off the first chance I get.”
“Really?” Rachel asks. “You would do that to your parents? And me? You’d give me that kind of guilt? I thought we were at least friends, Hannah.”
“We are,” the girl assures.
“Then please, just give it a chance. A lot of time has passed, at least in teenage years, so maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”
“Yeah, it’ll probably be worse.”
“You’re being over dramatic. And I would know,” Rachel tells her. “But you can’t stay here. My marriage is in jeopardy. And I just can’t risk that. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Tears have started running down Hannah’s face. “But they’re gonna ground me forever. For running off. And we were all so mad that night. What if that anger has just festered? I’ll spend my entire sophomore year practically under house arrest. I know it.”
“And you don’t think you deserve that a little? You ran off, half way across the country. That’s extreme at any age, but at fifteen? It sounds like a parent’s worst nightmare.”
“Well, yeah,” she sulks. But after a few minutes, she nods.
So they go online to see about switching her ticket. They manage to book her a seat for the next morning. They email her parents. They call her work and tell them, apologizing profusely, but Harold, the shop keeper just brushes them off, saying it’s fine, since the job was more a favor for Rachel than filling an actual need. And then Hannah wants to pack, so they head into her room.
They don’t really talk. The brunette just watches the girl stuff things into her duffel bag. Rachel, guiltily, is glad they’re not talking. She’s emotionally exhausted and she’s concerned of what an attempt at another discussion would bring.
The teenager seems to hate the silence, but doesn’t say anything to break it. She’s grateful, knowing it’ll happen eventually.
“Listen, Rachel, I’m sorry,” Hannah says, finally.
“What for?”
“Everything, I guess. I feel so stupid. I mean, I’ve ruined your marriage.”
“You haven’t.”
“I haven’t help.”
“Well, no. You haven’t helped,” Rachel reluctantly replies. “But I made my choices.”
“Yeah, well,” the girl seems unwilling to really say what she’s thinking. “It’s just these past couple weeks, I’ve been kinda wishing she’d kept me.”
“Oh, Hannah.”
“And then you could be my mom, too. It would be so awesome.”
Rachel shakes her head. “Quinn’s right, though, you know. If she had kept you, all three of our lives would be vastly different. I can’t even say that Quinn and I would have ended up together.”
“I can.”
“You’re sweet. But none of us would be the same people. That’s just how it works.”
“Maybe.”
“Besides, the only reason you think I’m cool is because I’m not your mom. It would be totally different if I’d been telling you no from an early age.”
“I guess.”
The rest of the morning and afternoon is spent talking. It’s as if Hannah feels she has to say everything and anything she’s thinking because she’ll never get another chance. And maybe she won’t. Rachel has every intention of continuing contact, but knows that if Quinn demanded otherwise, she would apologetically stop.
However, once they start watching TV, she’s quiet; almost as if she’s trying to absorb Rachel’s presence.
Hannah is packed and ready to go when it’s time for Rachel to leave for the theater. The two of them head out, still not really talking. It’s an odd contrast to the past month or even a few hours earlier, when the teenager’s been chatting her ear off. She never thought she’d find someone who rivaled her in ability to prattle on and certainly not Hannah. It makes her idly wonder if the girl’s right, that their mother daughter relationship would have been awesome. Maybe.
Rachel leaves a note for Quinn explaining what’s been figured out with the Hannah situation. Mostly because she’s not sure if her wife would pick up or not, and either way, she doesn’t want to know.
It’s actually the fourth time Hannah’s seen the show. When the girl had asked eighteen days ago to see it again, Rachel was surprised. But Hannah just told her she was feeling kind of homesick and she really enjoyed hearing her sing. Rachel then offered to sing at the house, but the teenager said it just wasn’t the same. So Rachel just called up and asked for a comp.
So when it happened two weeks later, she just called up the theater and requested another ticket. And now that they’re parting company, Rachel is already anticipating Hannah asking and so she dials the box office.
She gives the performance 150% instead of her usual 110% because of Hannah. Everyone notices and shoots her odd looks during the second act, but she ignores them. She speculates that it’s because she’s been slightly off for the past month. She hates to think life is affecting her performances, but knows it’s true.
Afterward, Hannah greets her with a fierce hug and she can’t help but smile. God help her, she was going to miss the girl. How did she manage to insinuate herself so easily in Rachel’s heart so quickly?
At home, they quietly watch TV and chat. Nothing too serious; been there, done that. It’s a lovely final evening for Hannah’s stay.
In the morning, Quinn and Rachel sip coffee, not talking and reading the paper. Even though the silent treatment is still on-going, the tension surrounding the couple seems to have dissipated immensely. The brunette holds back a sigh of relief at this because it means that, at least in her mind, her marriage isn’t over, and just maybe things will eventually return to normal.
The good bye at the airport is brief. It’s just a long, tight hug and a whispered thanks from Hannah, before the girl places her carry on onto the conveyer belt and walks through the metal detector. The singer watches her until she’s swallowed up by the constantly flowing crowd. She can only hope that the teenager heads home and doesn’t run off. Hannah promised she wouldn’t, but there’s still lingering doubts in Rachel’s mind.
Still, a phone call or text was promised upon Hannah’s safe arrival, so all she can do is wait.
It’s strange, though, not having Hannah around. Even if they didn’t spend every minute together, Rachel has gotten very used to having her around. It’s odd to think she’ll most likely never see her again. They’ll keep in contact, but ever interacting in person again seems highly unlikely.
Six hours later she receives a text from Hannah stating she’s home safe and sound, sitting on her own bed, waiting for her parents to deal out the punishments. Rachel wishes her good luck and promises to email in a few days.
She almost calls in and requests that her understudy perform tonight. However, at the last moment, she stops herself. The singer wants to give her wife a little more time to get her bearings back. Besides, she loves performing and knows she’ll spend the rest of the evening feeling off if she doesn’t.
So she heads in and gives the show her all. And it feels amazing, like it did the night before and she’s glad because she was secretly worried that all the drama, plus sleeping on the couch was ruining her.
Rachel once again returns to a dark house, though in the kitchen she finds her wife sitting at the table, sipping from a mug. She sits down across from her and waits. She knows nothing’s going to be fixed instantly, but she feels like she can’t go to sleep until something’s said.
“So she’s gone?”
Rachel nods. “She’s gone.”
“Good.”
“Yeah. Good.”
Feeling horribly awkward, Rachel finds her fingers tapping out What Would We Do Without You? on the table. However, the silence is unnerving, so she comments, “I see you removed the bedding from the couch.”
“It seems silly to leave it, if you’re not sleeping there.”
“I’m not?”
Quinn nods. “Though I’m still mad at you.”
“I’d expect nothing else.”
This evokes a small smile from the blonde. “Good. I’d hate to act unexpectedly.”
The look of fondness on Quinn’s face is how Rachel knows they’ll be okay, eventually, despite both having said some awful things. Because as their fighting proved, they’ve already said and done a lot of horrendous things in their past and they managed to get past those. A month long fight over the sudden appearance of the girl Quinn gave up years ago seems kind of miniscule in relation to how Rachel felt about the blonde sophomore year. At least that’s what she tells herself.
Still, lying in her bed for the first time in twenty-two days, the singer can’t help but sigh in contentment. She hears her wife stifling a giggle. She looks over, feeling utterly cozy.
“Comfy, baby?”
“Very. It’s almost perfect.”
“Almost?”
“Well,” Rachel answers, pouting slightly. “I’m here and you’re all the way over there.”
“And that’s how it’s going to stay. I told you, I’m still mad.”
“Understandable. But fear not, I have a plan to make it up to you.”
“You better.”
Rachel’s feel too emotional exhausted to continue the banter, so she whispers a “good night” and “I love you” before closing her eyes. She thinks she hears Quinn murmur “I love you too”, and can’t help but smile.
In the morning, the two of them are spooned together, their bodies automatically seeking each other in their sleep.