fic: Like That Movie, Open Water - Part Two
Title: Like That Movie, Open Water - Part Two
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, slight Rachel/Santana/Brittany, Puck, Quinn, Sue, Will, Finn, Tina, Artie, Mike, Emma, Kurt, Mercedes, Figgins, Michelle Jamieson
Rating: R
Summary: Rachel is a stud and a genius. Too bad she can't sleep.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~15,100
Spoilers: minor spoilers through 2x01
A/N: The 8th installment.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Flow Charts Are Never Wrong | Cuffed | Physics and Golf | The Student Becomes the Master | Breaking Into School is Easy to Do | Keeping Up Appearances | Games People Play | Ink and Gossip
Part Two
Friday morning she's in the kitchen having breakfast when Brittany and Santana walk in. Santana goes straight for some coffee while Brittany bounces in and envelops Rachel in a bear hug.
"Did you get any sleep, babe?" Santana asks as she sits. She places a mug of coffee in front of Brittany, who accepts it with a smile.
"A little."
"But not enough?"
Rachel shakes her head.
"Do we need to have more sex?" Brittany asks. "Cause I thought we did pretty good yesterday."
"I appreciate the offer, Britt," Rachel replies. "But I'm not sure that's the solution."
"Santana says sex is always the answer."
"I'm sure she does," Rachel says with a smile. "Can we just play it by ear?"
"Okay."
"Not that I'm complaining," Rachel continues. "But why are you here?"
"Thought you might like a ride to school," Santana tells her. "I was hoping you'd slept more." She pulls Rachel onto her lap. "Maybe you should see a doctor, babe. I heard if you go too long without sleep, you go psycho. And since you're already halfway there with sleep…"
"Ha ha," Rachel says. "You seem to like crazy."
"It has definite benefits for me," Santana mutters as she lets her fingers trace the edge of Rachel's skirt.
Rachel smacks her hand away. "We're going to school. It's almost the weekend and we can spend all day Saturday in bed if you want."
"I'm holding you to that," Santana says. "It's been way too long."
"So yesterday was just an elaborate dream I had?" Rachel asks.
"I meant, since we've spent all day in bed," Santana replies. "Trust me. I'm never forgetting yesterday. My favorite activity with my two favorite girls? It's like Christmas and my birthday combined."
"Glad to hear it." Rachel stands. "We better go or we'll be late."
After putting their dishes in the sink, Rachel follows the two Cheerios out of the house, locking it behind her.
"So what do you do when you can't sleep?" Brittany asks.
"There are plenty of things to do when one has the right motivation."
…
When they arrive at school, they notice that the parking lot is full; not just of cars, but of people as well.
"What the hell?" Santana growls. "Why are these morons just standing there?"
They manage to find a spot unoccupied by a car or people and quickly get out. Santana looks around for some information and her eyes land on Kurt. She stalks over with Brittany and Rachel trailing after.
"Hummel," she says when she arrives at his side. "What the hell is going on?"
"I'm not quite sure," Kurt replies. "Something's up. No one's allowed in the building. But of course they won't tell us why."
"Do you think the prankster struck again?"
"It's possible," Kurt replies. "But what could have been done that they don’t even want us to see? Nothing that's been done before has been offensive in any way. It's a mystery."
"Did you try asking Mr. Schue?" Rachel asks. "He might let something slip."
"Or Coach Sylvester," Brittany adds.
Everyone, including Mercedes and Quinn who are on the other side of Kurt, look at Brittany in amazement.
"No way," Kurt says.
"I bed she does," Brittany insists.
"I'll take that bet," Mercedes says. "Five dollars say she doesn't."
"You're on," Brittany replies.
"Five on Brittany," Santana says.
"I'm with Mercedes," Kurt says.
"Of course you are," Santana snarks.
"Yes, and siding with Brittany is different, how?"
"Quinn?" Brittany asks.
"Sorry, B," Quinn replies. "But I agree with Mercedes. Coach won't tell us."
"That's fine, Quinn. Rachel?"
"Sorry, guys, but I'm with them," Rachel says, gesturing to Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn.
Santana shrugs. "It's your five dollars."
"So who's going to ask her?" Mercedes questions.
"We will." Brittany grabs Rachel and drags her away in search of Coach Sylvester.
"Really?" Kurt asks.
Santana shrugs again. She can admit to herself that she's lost a lot of faith in Brittany's plan, even though she knows she shouldn't. They return to straining to see something as they wait.
…
"You really think we're the best two representatives for this?" Rachel asks as she trails after Brittany.
"No. But I do think you're the perfect one to ask."
"What? Absolutely not."
"Trust me, Rach," Brittany says. "I know these things."
Brittany spots Coach Sylvester near the other faculty, but not close enough to actually engage in any sort of conversation. She pushes Rachel towards her.
Sue notices Rachel's less than graceful approach. "Berry. Not the most coordinated entrance I've ever seen."
"Yes, well, sometimes there are obstacles," Rachel says, glancing back at a smiling Brittany.
"And why are you bothering me today?"
"I was just curious about what is going on."
"As if you don't know," Sue replies. "You may have been dragged over here against your will, but let's not pretend that you don't know exactly what's causing the dilemma. "
"Coach, I--"
"No. I don't want to hear it," Sue interrupts. "I assume no responsibility whatsoever. Therefore, I will simply say that as you're most likely aware, every single entrance into the building is locked. Locked in such a way that no one can get in. Figgins is in the process of attempting anyway. He has yet to decide what to do with you lot of miscreants. My vote is to send you home citing a gas leak."
"If Figgins is smart, he'll agree with you," Rachel replies.
Sue eyes Rachel for a moment. "You're not trying to suck up, are you Barbra?"
"Of course not," Rachel says. "I'm simply agreeing with you. Thank you for the information, Coach."
"Yeah. Yeah. Now scram before someone decides I can tolerate you."
Rachel skips over to Brittany, feeling giddy despite losing five dollars.
"So?"
Rachel just nods and heads back towards the others.
…
"What could possibly be taking so long?" Quinn asks.
"Maybe you should have gone with," Santana smirks.
"Would you two relax?" Kurt says. "I see them."
Neither girl says anything, but when they stop in front of them, Rachel hands Brittany five dollars. Everyone, but Santana groans and hands over the money.
"So?"
"For some reason, no one can get into the school. They're working on it," Rachel says.
"What does that mean?" Mercedes asks. "No one can get in?"
"The doors aren't just locked or if they are, no one has a key."
"Hey guys," Finn says walking up with Puck behind him. "We're thinking of splitting."
"Yeah, this is bullshit," Puck agrees. "I actually bother to show up and we're not allowed in?"
"We should wait until we receive permission," Rachel says.
"Oh please, babe," Santana replies. "We all know they're not going to. If the prankster has struck again, he's done an excellent job of keeping us out. They'll be lucky if they can get in before Monday."
Everyone murmurs agreements while Rachel fights to keep a smirk from forming.
"I don't care," Rachel says. "I'm waiting."
"I hate to say it," Quinn says. "But she's probably right. What if they just forced us to go somewhere else?"
"Who care?" Puck says. "What are they going to do with us? They're probably way too focused on getting in."
"ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP YOU SOON TO BE COLLEGE REJECTS!"
Everyone turns at the sound of Coach Sylvester and her bullhorn.
"WE HAVE A POTENTIAL GAS LEAK, SO YOU'RE ALL TO GO HOME. BUT SCHOOL WILL RESUME ON MONDAY, SO YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT BODY BETTER BE HERE ON TIME."
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rachel asks.
"So now what?" Finn asks.
"We get the hell out of here, dude," Puck replies.
"We should go have sex," Brittany whispers loudly to Santana.
Everyone's eyes whip around to the pair, except for Rachel who is digging in her bag.
"We'll talk about it later, Britt."
"Hot," Puck mutters.
"We're out of here," Mercedes says, dragging Kurt with her.
"Wanna do something?" Puck asks Rachel.
"I was thinking of spending the time with my girlfriend," Rachel replies.
"Why can't you do both?"
"B wants to go have an adventure," Santana says as she walks up to the pair.
"See, perfect," Puck says.
"What exactly do you mean by an adventure?" Rachel asks.
Santana grabs both Puck and Rachel and drags them away from everyone else. "She says there's something she has to do and that she needs the three of us. So we're going."
"Wait," Puck says. "Where does the adventure part come in?"
"Just meet us at Rachel's," Santana replies.
Puck eyes her for a moment. "Fine. But if it sucks, you totally owe me, Lopez."
"I owe you nothing, Puckernone."
"Why do I feel like you're not telling us everything?" Rachel asks as Puck walks off.
"I'll let B explain," Santana replies, dragging Rachel towards her car.
Brittany's already there and all three climb inside.
The drive to the Berry house is quiet with only the radio on softly as noise.
Inside they head into the kitchen where Santana gets herself another cup of coffee.
"I don't see why we even bothered going today," Santana says. "You could have just mentioned that school would be cancelled."
"Why would I do that?" Rachel questions. "After all, I have to sustain the illusion, don't I?"
"Rachel's very thorough," Brittany says.
"A little too much if you ask me."
A moment later Puck enters the kitchen. "So what's the plan ladies?"
"What took so long?" Santana asks.
"I had to ditch Finn."
"Noah, that's not nice."
"Did you want him with?" Puck asks.
"Well, no, but ditch sounds so harsh."
"He deserves worse," Santana mutters.
"It's a matter of opinion," Puck says. "So I repeat, what's the plan?"
"I need your guys help," Brittany says. "I lost something over the summer. But I don't quite remember where and so I need to back track my steps. Except I didn't want to do it alone because last time I got way lost."
"Britt," Rachel says. "Are you saying you want us to go trouping through the sewers?"
"Exactly."
Santana sighs. "Fine."
"What?" Puck exclaims. "No way. The Puckasauras does not go splashing through sewer water."
"We're going, Noah," Rachel tells him. "You can come if you like."
"I'm sure Rach has some boots you can borrow," Santana adds.
"Yeah, Rachel is always prepared," Brittany says.
They all look towards Rachel, but she's already disappeared upstairs gathering supplies.
She reappears a mere five minutes later with a full back pack and a collection of rubber. She's also changed clothes. She's wearing a pair of waders over a sweatshirt.
Rachel hands each of them their own pair. Puck fights the urge to ask why the Berrys have so many because he's pretty sure no one in this family fishes.
"These should keep up relatively dry," Rachel says. "I also have flashlights for us." She goes to the fridge and pulls out bottles of water. She goes to the cupboard next and pulls out some small boxes. "Anything else we might need?"
Brittany looks excited, Santana looks amused and Puck look wary.
"How long is this going to take?" Puck asks. "Because you're packed for an expedition."
"I like to be prepared, Noah," Rachel replies. "You know that."
"Whatever. But I'm not wearing these," he says holding up the rubber pants.
"Then I hope you like wet feet," Rachel tells him.
"Can we go now?" Brittany asks.
…
Rachel drives. She waves off Brittany's directions. All too soon, they're pulling up to a massive drain pipe and climbing out.
Puck examines it. It's a huge pipe with a diameter of at least ten feet with water trickling out. The inside looks dark and daunting.
As they stand in front of the entrance, Rachel hands each of them a flash light. She then pulls out her headlight and puts it on. She then pulls out a can of spray paint.
"What's that for?" Puck asks.
"So we can find our way back out. It's the equivalent to leaving breadcrumbs behind us."
"I call dibs on Gretel," Brittany says.
"We don’t really need code names, B," Santana tells her.
"But they're fun."
"How about we just call you Gretel?" Rachel suggests.
"Okay."
They head inside. Because Rachel has the headlight, she goes first. When they hit their first intersection, which just happens to be a T, Rachel spray paints an arrow pointing the way they came.
"We should be able to see that, don't you think?" Rachel says of the orange neon paint.
"Definitely, babe."
"Which way, Gretel?"
"Ah, that way, I think."
They go left, but stop when Rachel makes another arrow.
Though Puck would never admit it, he's glad Rachel made him put on the waders. He'd be soaked and miserable by now otherwise.
They continue on this way for a while. Every time they change course or take a turn, Rachel sprays another arrow. When Puck hears the tell tale signs of an empty can, he panics a little.
"Relax, Noah," Rachel says. She pulls another can out of her bag.
After a while it seems like they've been down there forever. Puck almost wishes he wore a watch.
"How long have we been down here?" he asks finally.
"About an hour," Rachel replies.
"That's it?"
"We're making excellent progress."
"What exactly are we looking for again?"
"Quackers," Brittany says.
"Crackers?"
"No Qua-ckers," Brittany tells him. "My stuffed bunny."
Puck stops abruptly. "Wait a sec. We're down here looking for Brittany's stuffed animal? And why the hell were you down here with the rabbit anyway?"
"I got lost."
"Of course."
"Be nice, Noah," Rachel says. "It's an adventure. And at least your feet are dry."
At that point, they hit a dead end. They turn around and back track. When they see the arrow, Rachel X's it out, paints a new one and they head in the opposite direction.
After another four arrows have been painted, Rachel notices something in the distance. She stops.
"Do you guys see that?"
They all point their flashlights and look.
"Yeah," Puck says.
"I see it too," Santana adds.
They approach cautiously, though trying to be quiet while wading through knee high water isn't easy.
"Quackers!" Brittany squeals when they're closer.
Rachel is somewhat wary since the stuffed rabbit in question is suspended from the ceiling by a noose.
"You didn't leave him like that, did you, B?" Santana asks.
"No," Brittany replies. "He obviously gave up waiting for me."
"Or there's some crazy psycho down here with us," Puck mutters.
"Noah, you're not helping," Rachel admonishes.
"I never thought I'd say this," Santana says. "But I agree with Puck. Let's just get Quackers down and get the fuck out of here."
Rachel pulls what looks like a metal rod out of her bag. They watch as it extends into a walking stick. She then uses it to test the path in front of her.
"Paranoid much?" Puck mutters.
"You're the one worried about a psycho, Noah." Rachel is now standing right under Quackers. "Can you reach it?" she asks Puck.
He tries, but can't quite reach.
"Stay still," Rachel tells him. "Santana, give me a hand?"
With Santana's help, Rachel sits on Puck's shoulders. She pulls out a bowie knife and cuts the rope down. She loosens the noose and hands the rabbit to Brittany who squeals in delight.
Still on Puck's shoulders, Rachel examines the noose.
"There's an impressive attention to detail here," Rachel says. "This is a perfectly made noose."
"Do we even want to know why you know that?" Puck asks.
"No," Santana answers.
They help Rachel get down.
"Let's get the fuck out of here," Puck says.
They quickly head back the way they came, following the arrows.
…
"How long were you down here?" Puck asks.
"Just a few days," Brittany answers. "I didn't think I'd ever get out. But my mom must have gotten worried, because she activated the locator chip they put in me when I was seven because they were tired of me getting lost all the time and so the police were able to easily find me."
"Then where the hell were you all summer?"
"Grounded."
"All summer?"
"Mom said she's tired of me getting lost in weird places," Brittany explains. "So she grounded me. It was so boring."
"You could have called someone."
"I lost my cell phone," Brittany says. "I dropped it in some water."
…
"What if the freak that did that to the rabbit is still down here?" Puck asks.
"Well then let's hope he's not around at the moment," Rachel replies.
-
"You could probably take him, Puckerman," Santana tells him. "Stop being such a pussy."
"Not if he's some weird psycho like Michael Meyers," Puck snaps back.
"More likely it's some transient suffering from PTSD that isn't quite right in the head. Though the fact that he's down here implies a possibly psychological need to be away from traditional society. It's possible if we did run into him, he would react negatively and we'd most likely have to flee."
"But that's only if he has a weapon," Brittany says. "Right, Rach?"
"Hold up," Puck says. "You understood all that?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I barely understood it," he replies.
"So?" Santana snaps. "I'm surprised you understand anything. Weren't you dropped on your head a lot as a kid?"
"Four isn't that many," Puck grumbles.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Santana replies.
"Where normally I find your arguing endearing," Rachel interrupts. "Now is not the time. Especially for people concerned about psychos."
"He doesn't have to be a psycho," Puck says. "He might just be a regular guy with some issues."
"Issues that he solves with crazy violence?" Santana mocks.
"We don't know that. Putting a noose around a stuffed rabbit isn't comforting, but maybe he's just crazy."
"Did you guys hear that?" Brittany interrupts.
They all stop moving and listen.
"I don't hear anything," Rachel says.
"Me neither," Santana agrees.
They continue walking, keeping an eye out for neon orange arrows.
"You know what this reminds me of?" Rachel asks after a few moments.
"What's that babe?"
"That movie, Wolf Creek."
"In what way is it similar?"
"We're extremely isolated with no means of communication. No one knows we're here, so there's really no one to help us and if someone were to come after us, we'd really have no defense."
No one says anything for a moment.
"If you weren't my bro, I'd smack you on the back of the head," Puck says. "Why'd you have to say that?"
"I'm simply saying--"
"Well don't. It's not helping."
"It wasn't intended to be helpful," Rachel replies. "Just an observation."
"Do you guys hear that?" Brittany interrupts again.
"B, if you're trying to freak us out," Santana says.
"No way, San," Brittany replies. "It sounds like there's someone back there."
"Oh my god," Puck groans. "Lopez, keep your women in check. Are they doing this on purpose? Or is this just some elaborate joke you're playing on me?"
"You wish you were worth the effort, Puckerman."
"Let's just keep going," Rachel says. "According to my calculations, we're almost out."
"Oooh, maybe it'll be like that movie, Open Water," Brittany suggests.
"I don't think the water's deep enough for sharks," Rachel tells her.
"Thank god," Santana mutters.
"Do you guys hear that?" Puck interrupts.
"What the fuck, Puckerman?" Santana growls.
"I'm serious. It really sounds like someone's behind us."
They all stop and listen. There's definite splashing happening behind them.
"We need to get the fuck out of here," Puck says. "Now."
They all walk faster, which is difficult in two feet deep water. The increased speed also creates more noise. Because of this, Santana and Puck are constantly looking over their shoulders.
"What if someone changed the arrows?" Puck asks after a couple of turns. "He changed the direction of the arrows and is luring us to an evil lair or something."
"You read too many comic books, dude," Santana says.
"Noah, do you really think someone down here just happens to have the exact same color spray paint as I do, but also has the means to clean up the original arrow?" Rachel asks. "Because that seems highly unlikely."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Though now that you mention it, this does kind of remind me of the mo--"
"Stop talking," Puck interrupts.
"Yeah, babe," Santana agrees. "You're not helping."
"You guys are way too paranoid," Rachel replies. "This is Lima for goodness sakes."
"That's exactly what they say in horror movies," Brittany points out.
"Oh my god," Puck says. "Did you just jinx us?"
"I did no such thing," Rachel replies.
Rachel then stops walking so abruptly that Brittany and Santana both slam into her. Only Brittany's fast reflexes stop Rachel from falling forward from the impact as she grabs Rachel's arm.
"It stopped," she whispers.
"Now they're just lying in wait," Puck adds.
"We've got to get out of here," Santana whispers.
"According to my calculations," Rachel says. "We only have to hit three more arrows before we reach the original tunnel. So just keep walking."
They increase their pace even more. And when they finally see the third arrow, Puck has to restrain himself from whooping.
Once they're outside the tunnel, Puck and Santana run for Rachel's car. Brittany and Rachel follow quickly, but aren't sprinting like the other two.
"Open the door, Rach," Puck calls out.
"No one gets into my car until they're not wearing waders," she yells back. "Take them off and then put them in the trunk."
By the time Brittany and Rachel reach the car, both Puck and Santana are holding their waders gingerly.
"I don't even want to think about what's in that water," Santana says.
Rachel opens the trunk and the waders are dropped inside. Rachel and Brittany strip and do the same. Once everyone's in the car, Rachel pulls out hand sanitizer and passes it to Santana after she uses it.
"You're like a damn Swiss Army knife," Puck mutters.
"I'm taking that as a compliment," Rachel says as she puts the car in drive.
…
Back at the Berry residence, Rachel makes everyone hang up their waders on a hook in the garage.
Inside the house, Santana makes coffee, Puck asks to take a shower and Brittany is content to just hold Quackers.
"Where are you going?" Santana asks Rachel.
"Upstairs to put all this stuff away," Rachel replies before bounding up the stairs.
Once the coffee's done, Santana pours herself a cup and sits at the table with Brittany.
"What are we going to do now?" Brittany asks her.
"Something relaxing I hope," Santana tells her.
"You think they'll be school on Monday?"
"Don't know. Depends on well the prankster did his job, I guess."
"There'll be school on Monday, unfortunately," Rachel says as she enters the kitchen. "I highly doubt that they'll be locked out that long."
"And what would you know about it, Berry?"
"Merely speculating, Lopez. Besides, if school is still cancelled on Monday, I might have to transfer."
"What? Why?"
"Because I refuse to put my education in the hands of individual who are unable to undo a simple childhood prank."
"This is Lima," Puck says entering the kitchen.
He's dressed in sweatpants and a wife beater.
Santana snorts. "Who are you trying to impress now, Puckerman?"
"It's the only thing I had that was clean, Lopez," Puck retorts. "So what now?"
"I think you should take a nap, babe," Santana tells Rachel.
"I'm not five years old."
"But you didn't sleep last night," Santana reminds her.
"I don't want to disturb my sleep cycle."
"What sleep cycle? You're not sleeping."
"But disrupting my normal pattern won't help," Rachel protests. "Yes, I took a nap yesterday afternoon, but then I wasn't able to sleep at all last night."
"Maybe you were too busy," Puck interjects.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Noah," Rachel replies.
"C'mon, we're all friends here."
"Speak for yourself," Santana mutters.
"She's just kidding," Brittany adds.
"I could ask you how," Puck continues. "But first I have to ask, why? I mean, it seems a bit elaborate, something that should be saved for April Fool's Day or something."
"Yes, well, I needed a vacation from McKinley today," Rachel says.
"Anyone else would just stay home," Puck replies.
"Well, I am certainly not anyone else," Rachel replies, primly.
"That's for sure."
"Actually," Rachel says. "Maybe a nap would be a good idea. You don't mind, do you Britt?"
Brittany looks up from her texting. "No. I'll see you later." She jumps up. "Thanks for helping me find Quackers." She gives Rachel a bear hug, kisses Santana on the cheek and punches Puck in the arm before skipping out.
"How's she getting home?"
"I'll give her a ride," Puck says, standing. "But I'll see you later, right bro?"
"Probably."
"Good. Later, Lopez."
"I'm glad you changed your mind about napping," Santana says when the front door slams shut.
"I didn't," Rachel replies. "I think we should talk."
"About?" Santana asks.
"Let's go up to my room. We'll be more comfortable."
Santana quietly follows Rachel up the stairs and into her room. She's feeling apprehensive. The tone of Rachel's voice isn't exactly comforting.
…
Once they're curled together comfortably on Rachel's bed, Santana waits anxiously for Rachel to speak.
"I wanted to talk about yesterday," Rachel says.
"Which part?"
Rachel just looks at her as if to say, "You know which part."
"You didn't feel pressured, did you?" Santana asks. "It didn't seem so, but sometimes you're really hard to read. But I know that you have no problem saying no if you have to."
"I'm just curious about what brought it on."
"B's actually the one that brought it up," Santana replies. "Because of the rumor. You know?"
Rachel nods and Santana isn't sure, but she thinks she hears a growl as well.
"And I said I'd talk to you about it. But then you skipped glee and we came over here and…well, you know the rest."
"I see."
"And I really did plan on talking to you about it. I know we've talked about a threesome, though it was only in passing. But at the same time, it's Brittany, so, you know."
"I do," Rachel agrees.
"You're not regretting it, now, are you?" Santana asks.
"No, definitely not. It's just, you don't want this to be a regular thing, do you?"
"No. Absolutely not," Santana replies. "I mean I love Britt and we used to, you know--"
"Fuck like bunnies?"
Santana looks embarrassed. "Yeah. But I'm in love with you. I mean, no one else would get property of Santana Lopez tattooed on them."
"And how many people would get Rachel Berry's bitch tattooed on them?"
"Exactly. It has to be you and me. But that doesn't mean we can't mix it up a little bit, right?"
"So what you're saying, is that a threesome is akin to using handcuffs?" Rachel clarifies.
"Basically.
Rachel is quiet. Santana almost wishes they weren't cuddling, so she could see her face and maybe figure out what her girlfriend's thinking.
"I agree," Rachel says after the longest five minutes of Santana's life. "She won't be upset if we don't do that again anytime soon, will she?"
"No way," Santana replies in relief. "She just wants everyone to be happy."
"Good," Rachel sighs. "I hate it when Brittany's sad."
"Who doesn't?"
…
"So you wanna talk about this whole not sleeping thing?" Santana asks.
"Not really."
"Rach," Santana says. "I'm getting worried."
"And I'm not? I haven't really slept since Saturday night."
"Maybe you just need me around all the time to fall asleep," Santana jokes.
"That sounds rather lovely, actually. I always miss you when you're not around."
Santana lets the words, as well as the tone, cover her like a warm blanket. Every so often, she worries that she's into Rachel more than Rachel is into her. But then her girlfriend says something that really reinforces how Rachel feels about her. "Well, something's obviously bothering you."
Rachel subconsciously nods and Santana waits.
"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" Rachel asks eventually.
"Well, yeah," Santana replies. "But that's kind of why I love you."
"I'm serious," Rachel insists.
"So am I."
"Because all week people have been treating me oddly. I'm starting to become paranoid.
"Like who?"
"Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Mr. Schue, Ms. Pillsbury."
"No one important then," Santana replies.
"Santana, that's not nice," Rachel chastises. "Those are our teammates and teachers."
"So? When they earn my respect, I'll give it to them."
"And then there's Coach Sylvester," Rachel continues.
"Coach?"
"It seems I have her respect," Rachel explains. "It's comforting in the same way it's comforting to be guarded by a vicious pit bull that could turn on you any minute."
"She does seem to like you now," Santana mentions. "It's different."
"Refreshing perhaps."
"For you."
"It has positives for you as well," Rachel points out. "Remember in the beginning where you were worried about sleeping with the enemy? Now that's no longer an issue."
"I guess."
They lie in silence for a bit.
"So you think I should just ignore them all because you don't agree with them?" Rachel asks eventually.
"No, I'm saying you should ignore them because they don't respect you. Not the way that you deserve."
"You mean how everyone leaves me alone at the moment because they're always following your lead?"
Santana doesn't respond immediately. Even though Rachel has reassured her that she's forgiven, Santana still feels guilty occasionally. She knows how cruel she's been to Rachel.
"San," Rachel interjects. "I'm not trying to assign blame. I'm just trying to understand what you're implying."
"I'm saying that they don't understand you. It's weird," Santana says. "They weren't necessarily a fan of Rachel Berry, but when you change, change in a way that exceeds their expectations, they get angry. As if they want you to stay the same because, I don't know. Because it's who they know and even if they don't like you, they're more afraid of change they don't understand. As if you can only exist in the box they've created. You're not allowed to climb out."
"But not you?" Rachel prompts.
"The Rachel Berry I fell for, even in the beginning, was already starting to change. Don't try to pretend otherwise. I realize now, looking back, that you were probably holding in a little of the crazy because you were worried about scaring me off. And I appreciate that. Because, honestly, I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd been given the full fledge Rachel Berry dating mode."
"Yeah, well, you held back for me as well," Rachel tells her. "Don't pretend you weren't holding your tongue about things I said. Even when we first started hanging out."
"Well, I knew you were crazy, so I figured I should just try to go with it."
"You make me want to be less crazy," Rachel says.
"I don't want you to change for me."
"It's not for you," Rachel replies. "It just sort of happened. Between you and Britt and Noah and the lack of ridicule at school, I was able to relax just a little bit."
"Jeez, if that's your idea of a little bit, it be interesting to see what constitutes a lot," Santana mutters.
"Well, we'll never know, I’m sure."
"I didn't mean it in a bad way, babe."
"I'm simply saying it will never happen," Rachel replies. "I have a feeling it would hinder my escape of this town, which is completely unacceptable."
"Maybe over the summer," Santana suggests.
"I should think not," Rachel says. "Senior year is our pivotal last year of high school. Even if I loathe much about McKinley, it is the hand I've been dealt and so I must act accordingly."
"Why does that mean?"
"There can be no relaxing. The routine stays. I haven't been working my ass off for all these years just to slack off at the last moment. I can only relax when I've achieved my goal."
"I wouldn't expect anything else, babe."
They lay in quiet long enough that Santana begins to think Rachel's fallen asleep.
"San?"
"I thought you fell asleep."
"Obviously not," Rachel replies. "Do you think maybe we could skip bro night tonight? Maybe it could be just you and me until Sunday? I just feel like we never have enough time together."
"Yeah," Santana replies. "I'd really like that."
"Oh good. I would too."
…
Santana insists on being the one to tell Puck and Brittany.
"I am perfectly capable of informing Noah that I'd prefer a night in," Rachel says.
"Of course you are, babe," Santana replies. "But my method is much quicker than the careful explanation you'll give."
"There's nothing wrong with providing a detailed elucidation. Noah deserves as much."
"Sometimes you give Puck way too much credit."
"Bros have to adhere to a certain code," Rachel replies.
"Whatever," Santana says looking at her cell phone. "B's fine with it."
"Brittany is easy going like that," Rachel replies. "What will she do instead?"
"I didn't ask."
"Santana."
"What? She'll tell me later, I'm sure." Santana checks her phone again. "Puck's mad."
"Did you tell him it was my idea?"
"No. I told him it was mine. I figured that would cause less of a fuss."
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him to find some stupid skank to get rejected by because tonight you're mine."
"Must you be so crass?"
"You like it."
…
Santana makes Rachel go to sleep early Friday night.
"What about you?"
"I'll sleep too," Santana replies. "We'll just have to find something to entertain us tomorrow when you make me get up early."
Rachel smiles. "But what will we do in the afternoon, then?"
"Are you saying we can't do it more than once tomorrow?" Santana asks. "Are you punishing me?"
"Thanks for taking care of me."
"Of course. You're my girl."
…
Monday McKinley is open. Grudgingly the students trickle in. Even though everyone showed up, a great many hoped that it would be cancelled again.
Rachel is opening up her locker when she's approached by Tina and Artie.
"Have you heard the latest?" Tina asks.
"That's quite vague. Could you be a bit more specific?"
"Jacob Ben Israel's blog?" Artie asks.
"I refuse to read his insidious blog," Rachel replies.
"Normally, I'd agree," Artie says. "But he's got this whole thing about the school cancellation on Friday."
"Let me guess," Rachel says. "It wasn't a gas leak."
"Nope," Tina answers. "Prankster struck again. Seems he somehow managed to lock up the entire school."
"What? He locked all the doors? That's not that impressive," Rachel replies.
"No. He somehow blocked all the doors so no one could get in. After hours of trying on Friday, they had to break in. But what's really freaky is no one can figure out how he got out. Every door and window was locked."
"Maybe they were still inside, just hiding," Rachel suggests. "Not that I don't appreciate the information, but why?"
Tina and Artie look at each other for a moment. "We thought maybe you knew something about it," Artie explains finally. "I mean, Santana and/or Puck are still the most likely candidates."
"I assure you it's neither of them."
"Because they've told you they're not?" Tina asks. "That's not enough of a reason."
"It is for me."
"No offense, Rachel," Artie says. "But do you think perhaps you're too trusting?"
Rachel sighs. "If I can't trust my girlfriend and my best friend, then who am I supposed to trust?"
"She's got a point," Mike says walking up with Finn.
"You don't even know what we're talking about," Tina replies.
"No," Mike agrees. "But if she doesn't trust her girlfriend and her best friend, then she's up shit creek, isn't she?"
"Elegantly put, my man," Finn says. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Who the prankster could be," Artie answers.
"There's no way it's Puck," Finn says. "He's not smart enough."
Both Tina and Artie half cough, half laugh into their hands.
"Yes, well, I suppose that's one way to look at it," Rachel says. "Who do you think it is then?"
"Honestly? You."
Finn actually managed to shock Rachel. She hopes her astonishment comes off as something else.
"Finn Hudson, why would you say such a thing?"
Finn shrugs. "It makes sense. You're one of the smartest people I know. And who ever did it has to be organized and a good planner."
"That's true," Artie allows.
"Except that I'm not a delinquent," Rachel tells him.
"Yeah, but you said it yourself. Santana is your girlfriend and Puck is your best friend. Prolonged exposure or whatever."
"So because I'm smart and I associate with known trouble makers?" Rachel questions. "That seems like a leap of logic."
"Who else could it be?" Finn asks. "All the other smart kids wouldn't have the guts and the screw ups aren't smart enough. I mean, there have been some really complicated pranks."
"I hate to say this," Mike says. "But he has a point."
"Thanks Mike."
"I don't think he does," Rachel says.
"Plus, whoever it is, warned us away," Finn continues. "Which means it's most likely someone in glee. But the real reason I think it's you over Puck or Santana is that whoever it is warned Becky. And neither of them would have thought of warning her."
"Another good point," Mike agrees.
"Yeah," Arties says. "I'm getting weirded out. That was way too well thought out for Finn."
"Hey!" Finn says.
"It wouldn't be that big of deal, Rachel," Tina says. "If anything, it would be kind of awesome. I mean, you'd be like a god or something. No one's ever managed to pull off so much without being caught."
"That still doesn't mean it's me," Rachel protests.
"What's the big deal, Rach?" Finn asks. "It'd be really awesome if it was you."
"Until the administration hears the rumors and then I'm given detention or worse suspended."
"They wouldn't do that," Finn says.
"Of course they would," Rachel replies. "Whoever it is has made them look foolish on multiple occasions and disrupted things. Take Friday for example; they had to cancel classes. They're embarrassed, I'm sure and are looking for someone to punish."
"Then we won't tell anyone," Finn continues.
"One, it's not me," Rachel says. "Two, we're having this conversation in the middle of the hallway. Three, because of that, I wouldn't be surprised to find the speculation in Jacob's blog tomorrow. He does like to skulk around. Four, you guys can't keep a secret to save your lives. And five, it's not me."
"Are you sure?" Finn tries once more.
"Finn, man," Mike says. "She said no.
"Fine," Finn says. "But it would have been so cool if it was."
Everyone else, but Rachel nods at this.
…
Rachel exits her second period class to find Michelle Jamieson waiting for her.
"Walk you to class?"
Rachel shrugs. "Why not?"
"Worried your girlfriend will be jealous?"
"Aren't you?"
"Touché. So I heard an interesting rumor about you today."
"Lucky you."
"It seems that in addition to being a stud, you're also a genius," Michelle explains.
"While I consider myself to be intelligent," Rachel says. "I wouldn't call myself a genius."
"Anyone that's managed to pull off all the pranks you have without being caught is a genius in my book," Michelle replies.
Rachel stops so abruptly that Michelle gets almost whip lash.
"I'm going to kill Finn," Rachel mutters.
"Hudson? Why's that?"
"Because he's the jag-off that started that rumor. I told him to keep his speculation to himself. Apparently he can't listen."
"So it's not you?"
"He's going to get me suspended. I'm sure Figgins is looking for someone to punish for all this. With no viable suspects, he was forced to simply put up with it. But now, if he thinks he has someone, he's going to pursue it with vigor."
"It'd be so awesome if it was you," Michelle tells her. "And fucking hot."
"Perhaps," Rachel agrees. "But I cannot have a suspension on my permanent record. It could greatly affect my chances of getting into Julliard."
"Too bad," Michelle says. "Because if it was true, I'd be pursuing you hard core."
"Yes, well, thank you, I suppose. But this is my class."
"Later, hot stuff."
…
At lunch, Rachel apprehensively sits at her usual table.
"Don't worry, girl," Mercedes says. "We don't think it's you."
"There's no way," Kurt agrees.
"Speak for yourself," Tina says.
"I'm still on the fence, personally," Artie says.
"Well, I just can't see it, myself," Kurt says.
"Yeah," Mercedes agrees. "No offense Rachel. But I just can't see you sneaking into school in the middle of the night. You know?"
"None taken, Mercedes," Rachel replies. "I'm certainly not known for my stealth."
"That's what happens when Finn can't play Xbox for a night," Kurt says. "His brain goes to crazy places."
"Apparently."
…
Last period, Rachel is once again dragged into Coach Sylvester's office by the same two freshmen Cheerios.
"Bye Rachel," they coo before they leave.
"You seem to have cast some sort of Sapphic spell over my Cheerios," Sue comments as Rachel sits. "Luckily it doesn't seem to be affecting their performance, otherwise I would have to reconsider our alliance."
"Lucky in deed."
"I assume Figgins hasn't called you down to his office yet," Sue begins.
"Not yet," Rachel replies. "But it seems inevitable."
"It wasn't Ladyface that started it was it? I know he and you don't always see eye to eye."
"Finn actually figured it out."
"Perhaps I was wrong about this place," Sue muses. "If he can figure something out, they might actually be educating."
"Anything's possible, I'm sure."
"Well, keep your chin up. They have nothing."
"Of course not," Rachel replies. "There's nothing to have."
"And everything else? It's going well?"
"Uh, yes. Everything else is going fine. After a relaxing weekend, it's easier to ignore the mindless sheep that scurry through the hallways. I only wish the latest scandal didn't involve me."
"The price of greatness, I assure you."
"I suppose I should get used to the feeling then."
"Being a winner is more difficult than it appears.
"You would know, Coach."
"Damn straight, Berry."
…
Just as predicted, Rachel's called into Figgins' office Tuesday morning. Mr. Schuester is there in her defense. Rachel wishes she felt more reassured by this. Perhaps if he hadn't pulled her aside last week.
"I'm sure you know what this is about, young lady," Figgins begins.
"You don't really think it's Rachel, do you?" Will asks him.
Just then the door swings open and Sue strolls in. She leans against the wall by Rachel and waits.
"Sue, as you can see, I'm in the middle of something," Figgins tells her.
"I know. I just came to watch the festivities."
"Sue," Will begins. "You're not going to get Rachel expelled for something she didn't do."
"Oh William," Sue says. "How little you know. It appears I was correct about all that hair gel seeping into your brain and causing damage."
"Sue, I'm only going to ask one more time," Figgins says.
"Actually, Mr. Figgins," Rachel interrupts. "I don't mind. I just want to get this over as quickly as possible."
"Rachel, you can't be serious," Will says. "Sue wants to destroy you."
"I know that, Mr. Schuester," Rachel replies. "However, since I'm innocent, there is nothing she can do." She turns back to Figgins. "And if I'm punished for something I didn't do based purely on circumstantial evidence, I will be returning tomorrow with my fathers and my lawyers and it will be very unpleasant, I assure you."
"I do not respond well to threats, Ms. Berry," Figgins says.
"It's not a threat, sir," Rachel replies. "Just information."
Figgins sighs. "Fine. Will, Sue can stay. But if at any point, it's deemed necessary, she may be thrown out. Is that amendable to everyone? Good. Now, Ms. Berry, I've heard talk of you being behind what happened on Friday."
"The gas leak?"
"We all know it wasn't a gas leak," Figgins replies.
"We do?" Rachel questions. "Then why did you tell us it was a gas leak?"
"Rachel," Will says. "Please don't pretend you haven't heard the rumors stating that it wasn't a gas leak."
"Of course I have," Rachel replies. "However, as I've told you before, I place very little faith in rumors. Many times they prove to be false."
"That is a very naïve point of view, Ms. Berry," Figgins says.
"I prefer to think of it as optimistic."
"Either way, I have reason to believe that you are behind not only last Friday's incident, but every incident that has taken place this year."
"And what gave you that reason?" Rachel questions.
"Young lady, I will not put up with a smartass."
"I am no such thing," Rachel says. "I'm simply curious where this accusation comes from. Because if it's because of rumors, then please remember my previous comment."
"There's no one else it could be," Figgins replies.
"That's your defense?" Rachel is flabbergasted. "If that's all your relying on, I could give you several names. However, I wouldn't because I'm not going to implicate anyone without concrete proof."
"Rachel where were you Thursday night?" Will asks.
"Mr. Schuester, are you siding with Mr. Figgins?"
"Just answer the question, please, Rachel."
"Shameful, William," Sue mutters.
"I was at home, sleeping as one should if they want to be properly prepared for a day of scholastic endeavors. Of course, since everyone in my house was also asleep, I cannot give you any witness statements."
"Rachel," Will says. "We have video of you pulling into the school parking lot at midnight."
"Really?" Rachel asks. "Show me."
"What?"
"Show me. If you have proof that I did this. Then show me."
"You said you had proof," Will says to Figgins. "She has a right to see it."
"No."
"I have a right to see it," Rachel insists.
"You don't need to see it," Figgins says.
"Because all you have is a blurry video with someone pulling in at midnight?" Rachel asks.
"We don't have any cameras in the parking lot," Sue interjects.
"Sue!"
"Trying to trick her into confessing based off of rumors is dirty pool," Sue says. "Which, normally I approve of, but your approach was subpar at best. You should have picked a better partner than William here."
"Is that what you were trying to do?" Will asks.
"It's been months," Figgins says. "I have to get to the bottom of this. Whoever this person is has the school under his thumb and I won't have it. This is my school and I won't be held hostage by some sixteen year old punk."
"May I leave, now?" Rachel asks.
"Yes, you may, Rachel," Will says.
"Thank you."
"If you don't have any proof, then I think Rachel can leave," Will tells Figgins.
Rachel stands and walks out.
"Well this has been educational," Sue says. "So no one is sacred to you, huh, Will? I can't believe you'd give up your only talent so easily. I didn't think it was possible, but you've actually sunk in my estimation. Thanks for the show, Figgins. Next time, maybe you'll consult a professional about such things."
Sue then exits as well.
"Please don't ask me to do anything like that again," Will tells Figgins.
"Don't look at me like that William," he replies. "I'm in a difficult position. Whoever is pulling these pranks has escaped detection for far too long. I saw an opportunity and I took it."
"And what if she's innocent? Would you have suspended her anyway?"
"Something has to be done, Will," Figgins argues. "You give me a solution to the problem and then you can criticize me."
"I need to get to class," Will says before walking out.
…
When Sue exits Figgins' office, she finds Rachel waiting for her.
"Thank you," Rachel says.
"You didn't need my help."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "But you did expedite the process, which I do appreciate."
"Those two wouldn't know a proper interrogation if it kicked them in the face."
"They do need to work on their technique, certainly."
"I'd admit to being curious how you did it, if I thought you'd tell me," Sue says.
"I'm glad we understand each other, Coach."
"However, The Cult of Sue may require your candor at a later date."
"I can't make any promises."
…
When Finn walks into glee that afternoon he is greeted by an irate Rachel Berry.
"What did I do?" he asks.
"I spent part of first period defending myself to Figgins and Mr. Schue. And it's all your fault."
"Mr. Schue?"
"I told you someone would over hear us," Rachel continues. "If I am punished in any way for this, I am holding you entirely responsible."
"C'mon, Rach, I didn't mean to get you in trouble," Finn protests. "You guys asked and I answered is all."
"What the hell did you do, Hudson?" Santana growls, suddenly appearing behind Finn.
"Nothing. I swear. It was just a big misunderstanding."
"Santana, it's fine," Rachel says. "I can fight my own battles with Finn."
"Yeah," Santana allows. "But you shouldn't have to."
"Ah, that's so sweet, S," Brittany coos.
"What's going on?" Will says upon entering.
Santana is obviously angry with Finn and apparently Rachel, who is standing in between, is the only thing stopping her from hurting him.
"Nothing," Rachel answers. She pushes Santana back until she's in front of a chair and makes her sit.
"Rachel, listen, do you think you and I could talk outside for a moment?" Will asks.
"I'd rather not, Mr. Schue. You made your stance quite clear this morning."
"Rachel, I'm sorry about that. Really," Will tells her.
"I'm sure you are, Mr. Schue."
"He told me he had a tape," Will continues. "I realize now I shouldn't have believed him."
"Obviously. There isn't money in the budget for cameras," Rachel replies.
"I know that now. I just never thought he'd lie."
"It's fine, Mr. Schue," Rachel says. "Nothing that happened this morning was any sort of revelation. I'd rather just move on."
"You can't be serious," Will counters. "Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"What about Coach Sylvester?" Will pushes.
"Nothing, Mr. Schue."
"Uh, Mr. Schue?" Finn says, raising his hand. "Maybe we should just rehearse now? I'm feeling kind of awkward."
There's a murmur of agreement from everyone.
Will sighs. "Fine."
…
"What the hell was that about?" Santana asks as she drives Rachel home.
"Just another chapter in my adversarial relationship with Mr. Schue," Rachel replies.
"What did he do now?"
"He believed the story of me being the prankster."
"Babe, you are the prankster," Santana points out.
"And," Rachel continues over Santana. "He conspired with Figgins to trick me into confessing."
"What?"
"They attempted good cop, bad cop," Rachel explains. "But they couldn't pull it off properly. They tried to make me confess by saving they had evidence they didn't have. I, of course, didn't buy it."
"Mr. Schue was the good cop, I assume?"
"He was. I realize Mr. Schuester and I don't always see eye to eye about things, but I can't believe he thinks it's me."
"Rach, it is you," Santana reminds her again. "And you've been going through a bunch of changes that have garnered some attention. You shouldn't be surprised if people take note and draw their own conclusions."
"Even Finn?"
"Yeah, that threw me too," Santana agrees. "Who knew he had deduction skills? So what did Schuester want to talk about, you think?"
"I'm sure he wanted to apologize or at least attempt reconciliation. I was rather harsh with him about the whole thing."
"You are unbelievable," Santana tells her.
"Why?"
"Because. You did it. You did it all and I know you did it all and yet I totally believed you didn't do it while we were in glee."
"I don't know why you doubt me after Noah and I switched personalities. That was quite convincing, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that's true."
"Where's Britt?" Rachel asks suddenly. Usually she receives a ride home as well.
"She said she had something to do," Santana replies.
"So it's just you and me again?"
"Guess so," Santana smirks.
"Whatever shall we do?"
"I've got an idea or two."
…
"Why don't you just admit you did it?" Santana asks after when they're lounging in Rachel's room
"Because, I don't want to be suspended. I can't have that on my permanent record. Think of the scandal."
"I doubt there'd be a scandal."
"In addition, I wouldn't be able to pull anything anymore." Rachel leans over to her bedside table and holds up her pink and white polka dotted book. "Look at all these ideas I have that would go unfulfilled. A tragedy, I'm sure."
Santana grabs the book from Rachel's hands and flips through it. She's right, there are a lot of ideas contained inside. And it probably would be a tragedy if some of them didn't happen.
"You know I've been thinking," Santana says.
"Does it hurt?"
Santana ignores her. "I think you and I should pull something together. I mean you pulled a couple with Puck. If you're going to be pulling shit, it should be with me, don't you think?"
"Definitely," Rachel agrees. "It's just never come up. Any ideas?"
"I have one or two."
"Good. Though I'd like to wait a bit until the heat's died down somewhat."
"Fair enough."
…
It only takes three days before the school is all a buzz with new gossip. Apparently the hockey team was caught trying to steal a rival school's mascot. It didn't help that they were all drunk. They probably would have escaped with just a reprimand if they hadn't caused so much damage getting into the school.
It's a public relations nightmare for Figgins and so discovering the identity of the prankster takes a backseat again.
And since Jacob Ben Israel's blog has pictures, police reports and mug shots, everyone else just forgets that Rachel might be the prankster.
"It's one of the only good things about how stupid people around here are," Santana tells Rachel over lunch on Friday. "You can always rely on someone to eventually do something dumb and draw focus."
"Yes," Rachel agrees. "I never thought I'd be so glad that we go to a school with morons."
"You and me both, babe," Santana replies. "You and me both."
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, slight Rachel/Santana/Brittany, Puck, Quinn, Sue, Will, Finn, Tina, Artie, Mike, Emma, Kurt, Mercedes, Figgins, Michelle Jamieson
Rating: R
Summary: Rachel is a stud and a genius. Too bad she can't sleep.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~15,100
Spoilers: minor spoilers through 2x01
A/N: The 8th installment.
2nd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Flow Charts Are Never Wrong | Cuffed | Physics and Golf | The Student Becomes the Master | Breaking Into School is Easy to Do | Keeping Up Appearances | Games People Play | Ink and Gossip
Part Two
Friday morning she's in the kitchen having breakfast when Brittany and Santana walk in. Santana goes straight for some coffee while Brittany bounces in and envelops Rachel in a bear hug.
"Did you get any sleep, babe?" Santana asks as she sits. She places a mug of coffee in front of Brittany, who accepts it with a smile.
"A little."
"But not enough?"
Rachel shakes her head.
"Do we need to have more sex?" Brittany asks. "Cause I thought we did pretty good yesterday."
"I appreciate the offer, Britt," Rachel replies. "But I'm not sure that's the solution."
"Santana says sex is always the answer."
"I'm sure she does," Rachel says with a smile. "Can we just play it by ear?"
"Okay."
"Not that I'm complaining," Rachel continues. "But why are you here?"
"Thought you might like a ride to school," Santana tells her. "I was hoping you'd slept more." She pulls Rachel onto her lap. "Maybe you should see a doctor, babe. I heard if you go too long without sleep, you go psycho. And since you're already halfway there with sleep…"
"Ha ha," Rachel says. "You seem to like crazy."
"It has definite benefits for me," Santana mutters as she lets her fingers trace the edge of Rachel's skirt.
Rachel smacks her hand away. "We're going to school. It's almost the weekend and we can spend all day Saturday in bed if you want."
"I'm holding you to that," Santana says. "It's been way too long."
"So yesterday was just an elaborate dream I had?" Rachel asks.
"I meant, since we've spent all day in bed," Santana replies. "Trust me. I'm never forgetting yesterday. My favorite activity with my two favorite girls? It's like Christmas and my birthday combined."
"Glad to hear it." Rachel stands. "We better go or we'll be late."
After putting their dishes in the sink, Rachel follows the two Cheerios out of the house, locking it behind her.
"So what do you do when you can't sleep?" Brittany asks.
"There are plenty of things to do when one has the right motivation."
…
When they arrive at school, they notice that the parking lot is full; not just of cars, but of people as well.
"What the hell?" Santana growls. "Why are these morons just standing there?"
They manage to find a spot unoccupied by a car or people and quickly get out. Santana looks around for some information and her eyes land on Kurt. She stalks over with Brittany and Rachel trailing after.
"Hummel," she says when she arrives at his side. "What the hell is going on?"
"I'm not quite sure," Kurt replies. "Something's up. No one's allowed in the building. But of course they won't tell us why."
"Do you think the prankster struck again?"
"It's possible," Kurt replies. "But what could have been done that they don’t even want us to see? Nothing that's been done before has been offensive in any way. It's a mystery."
"Did you try asking Mr. Schue?" Rachel asks. "He might let something slip."
"Or Coach Sylvester," Brittany adds.
Everyone, including Mercedes and Quinn who are on the other side of Kurt, look at Brittany in amazement.
"No way," Kurt says.
"I bed she does," Brittany insists.
"I'll take that bet," Mercedes says. "Five dollars say she doesn't."
"You're on," Brittany replies.
"Five on Brittany," Santana says.
"I'm with Mercedes," Kurt says.
"Of course you are," Santana snarks.
"Yes, and siding with Brittany is different, how?"
"Quinn?" Brittany asks.
"Sorry, B," Quinn replies. "But I agree with Mercedes. Coach won't tell us."
"That's fine, Quinn. Rachel?"
"Sorry, guys, but I'm with them," Rachel says, gesturing to Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn.
Santana shrugs. "It's your five dollars."
"So who's going to ask her?" Mercedes questions.
"We will." Brittany grabs Rachel and drags her away in search of Coach Sylvester.
"Really?" Kurt asks.
Santana shrugs again. She can admit to herself that she's lost a lot of faith in Brittany's plan, even though she knows she shouldn't. They return to straining to see something as they wait.
…
"You really think we're the best two representatives for this?" Rachel asks as she trails after Brittany.
"No. But I do think you're the perfect one to ask."
"What? Absolutely not."
"Trust me, Rach," Brittany says. "I know these things."
Brittany spots Coach Sylvester near the other faculty, but not close enough to actually engage in any sort of conversation. She pushes Rachel towards her.
Sue notices Rachel's less than graceful approach. "Berry. Not the most coordinated entrance I've ever seen."
"Yes, well, sometimes there are obstacles," Rachel says, glancing back at a smiling Brittany.
"And why are you bothering me today?"
"I was just curious about what is going on."
"As if you don't know," Sue replies. "You may have been dragged over here against your will, but let's not pretend that you don't know exactly what's causing the dilemma. "
"Coach, I--"
"No. I don't want to hear it," Sue interrupts. "I assume no responsibility whatsoever. Therefore, I will simply say that as you're most likely aware, every single entrance into the building is locked. Locked in such a way that no one can get in. Figgins is in the process of attempting anyway. He has yet to decide what to do with you lot of miscreants. My vote is to send you home citing a gas leak."
"If Figgins is smart, he'll agree with you," Rachel replies.
Sue eyes Rachel for a moment. "You're not trying to suck up, are you Barbra?"
"Of course not," Rachel says. "I'm simply agreeing with you. Thank you for the information, Coach."
"Yeah. Yeah. Now scram before someone decides I can tolerate you."
Rachel skips over to Brittany, feeling giddy despite losing five dollars.
"So?"
Rachel just nods and heads back towards the others.
…
"What could possibly be taking so long?" Quinn asks.
"Maybe you should have gone with," Santana smirks.
"Would you two relax?" Kurt says. "I see them."
Neither girl says anything, but when they stop in front of them, Rachel hands Brittany five dollars. Everyone, but Santana groans and hands over the money.
"So?"
"For some reason, no one can get into the school. They're working on it," Rachel says.
"What does that mean?" Mercedes asks. "No one can get in?"
"The doors aren't just locked or if they are, no one has a key."
"Hey guys," Finn says walking up with Puck behind him. "We're thinking of splitting."
"Yeah, this is bullshit," Puck agrees. "I actually bother to show up and we're not allowed in?"
"We should wait until we receive permission," Rachel says.
"Oh please, babe," Santana replies. "We all know they're not going to. If the prankster has struck again, he's done an excellent job of keeping us out. They'll be lucky if they can get in before Monday."
Everyone murmurs agreements while Rachel fights to keep a smirk from forming.
"I don't care," Rachel says. "I'm waiting."
"I hate to say it," Quinn says. "But she's probably right. What if they just forced us to go somewhere else?"
"Who care?" Puck says. "What are they going to do with us? They're probably way too focused on getting in."
"ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP YOU SOON TO BE COLLEGE REJECTS!"
Everyone turns at the sound of Coach Sylvester and her bullhorn.
"WE HAVE A POTENTIAL GAS LEAK, SO YOU'RE ALL TO GO HOME. BUT SCHOOL WILL RESUME ON MONDAY, SO YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT BODY BETTER BE HERE ON TIME."
"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rachel asks.
"So now what?" Finn asks.
"We get the hell out of here, dude," Puck replies.
"We should go have sex," Brittany whispers loudly to Santana.
Everyone's eyes whip around to the pair, except for Rachel who is digging in her bag.
"We'll talk about it later, Britt."
"Hot," Puck mutters.
"We're out of here," Mercedes says, dragging Kurt with her.
"Wanna do something?" Puck asks Rachel.
"I was thinking of spending the time with my girlfriend," Rachel replies.
"Why can't you do both?"
"B wants to go have an adventure," Santana says as she walks up to the pair.
"See, perfect," Puck says.
"What exactly do you mean by an adventure?" Rachel asks.
Santana grabs both Puck and Rachel and drags them away from everyone else. "She says there's something she has to do and that she needs the three of us. So we're going."
"Wait," Puck says. "Where does the adventure part come in?"
"Just meet us at Rachel's," Santana replies.
Puck eyes her for a moment. "Fine. But if it sucks, you totally owe me, Lopez."
"I owe you nothing, Puckernone."
"Why do I feel like you're not telling us everything?" Rachel asks as Puck walks off.
"I'll let B explain," Santana replies, dragging Rachel towards her car.
Brittany's already there and all three climb inside.
The drive to the Berry house is quiet with only the radio on softly as noise.
Inside they head into the kitchen where Santana gets herself another cup of coffee.
"I don't see why we even bothered going today," Santana says. "You could have just mentioned that school would be cancelled."
"Why would I do that?" Rachel questions. "After all, I have to sustain the illusion, don't I?"
"Rachel's very thorough," Brittany says.
"A little too much if you ask me."
A moment later Puck enters the kitchen. "So what's the plan ladies?"
"What took so long?" Santana asks.
"I had to ditch Finn."
"Noah, that's not nice."
"Did you want him with?" Puck asks.
"Well, no, but ditch sounds so harsh."
"He deserves worse," Santana mutters.
"It's a matter of opinion," Puck says. "So I repeat, what's the plan?"
"I need your guys help," Brittany says. "I lost something over the summer. But I don't quite remember where and so I need to back track my steps. Except I didn't want to do it alone because last time I got way lost."
"Britt," Rachel says. "Are you saying you want us to go trouping through the sewers?"
"Exactly."
Santana sighs. "Fine."
"What?" Puck exclaims. "No way. The Puckasauras does not go splashing through sewer water."
"We're going, Noah," Rachel tells him. "You can come if you like."
"I'm sure Rach has some boots you can borrow," Santana adds.
"Yeah, Rachel is always prepared," Brittany says.
They all look towards Rachel, but she's already disappeared upstairs gathering supplies.
She reappears a mere five minutes later with a full back pack and a collection of rubber. She's also changed clothes. She's wearing a pair of waders over a sweatshirt.
Rachel hands each of them their own pair. Puck fights the urge to ask why the Berrys have so many because he's pretty sure no one in this family fishes.
"These should keep up relatively dry," Rachel says. "I also have flashlights for us." She goes to the fridge and pulls out bottles of water. She goes to the cupboard next and pulls out some small boxes. "Anything else we might need?"
Brittany looks excited, Santana looks amused and Puck look wary.
"How long is this going to take?" Puck asks. "Because you're packed for an expedition."
"I like to be prepared, Noah," Rachel replies. "You know that."
"Whatever. But I'm not wearing these," he says holding up the rubber pants.
"Then I hope you like wet feet," Rachel tells him.
"Can we go now?" Brittany asks.
…
Rachel drives. She waves off Brittany's directions. All too soon, they're pulling up to a massive drain pipe and climbing out.
Puck examines it. It's a huge pipe with a diameter of at least ten feet with water trickling out. The inside looks dark and daunting.
As they stand in front of the entrance, Rachel hands each of them a flash light. She then pulls out her headlight and puts it on. She then pulls out a can of spray paint.
"What's that for?" Puck asks.
"So we can find our way back out. It's the equivalent to leaving breadcrumbs behind us."
"I call dibs on Gretel," Brittany says.
"We don’t really need code names, B," Santana tells her.
"But they're fun."
"How about we just call you Gretel?" Rachel suggests.
"Okay."
They head inside. Because Rachel has the headlight, she goes first. When they hit their first intersection, which just happens to be a T, Rachel spray paints an arrow pointing the way they came.
"We should be able to see that, don't you think?" Rachel says of the orange neon paint.
"Definitely, babe."
"Which way, Gretel?"
"Ah, that way, I think."
They go left, but stop when Rachel makes another arrow.
Though Puck would never admit it, he's glad Rachel made him put on the waders. He'd be soaked and miserable by now otherwise.
They continue on this way for a while. Every time they change course or take a turn, Rachel sprays another arrow. When Puck hears the tell tale signs of an empty can, he panics a little.
"Relax, Noah," Rachel says. She pulls another can out of her bag.
After a while it seems like they've been down there forever. Puck almost wishes he wore a watch.
"How long have we been down here?" he asks finally.
"About an hour," Rachel replies.
"That's it?"
"We're making excellent progress."
"What exactly are we looking for again?"
"Quackers," Brittany says.
"Crackers?"
"No Qua-ckers," Brittany tells him. "My stuffed bunny."
Puck stops abruptly. "Wait a sec. We're down here looking for Brittany's stuffed animal? And why the hell were you down here with the rabbit anyway?"
"I got lost."
"Of course."
"Be nice, Noah," Rachel says. "It's an adventure. And at least your feet are dry."
At that point, they hit a dead end. They turn around and back track. When they see the arrow, Rachel X's it out, paints a new one and they head in the opposite direction.
After another four arrows have been painted, Rachel notices something in the distance. She stops.
"Do you guys see that?"
They all point their flashlights and look.
"Yeah," Puck says.
"I see it too," Santana adds.
They approach cautiously, though trying to be quiet while wading through knee high water isn't easy.
"Quackers!" Brittany squeals when they're closer.
Rachel is somewhat wary since the stuffed rabbit in question is suspended from the ceiling by a noose.
"You didn't leave him like that, did you, B?" Santana asks.
"No," Brittany replies. "He obviously gave up waiting for me."
"Or there's some crazy psycho down here with us," Puck mutters.
"Noah, you're not helping," Rachel admonishes.
"I never thought I'd say this," Santana says. "But I agree with Puck. Let's just get Quackers down and get the fuck out of here."
Rachel pulls what looks like a metal rod out of her bag. They watch as it extends into a walking stick. She then uses it to test the path in front of her.
"Paranoid much?" Puck mutters.
"You're the one worried about a psycho, Noah." Rachel is now standing right under Quackers. "Can you reach it?" she asks Puck.
He tries, but can't quite reach.
"Stay still," Rachel tells him. "Santana, give me a hand?"
With Santana's help, Rachel sits on Puck's shoulders. She pulls out a bowie knife and cuts the rope down. She loosens the noose and hands the rabbit to Brittany who squeals in delight.
Still on Puck's shoulders, Rachel examines the noose.
"There's an impressive attention to detail here," Rachel says. "This is a perfectly made noose."
"Do we even want to know why you know that?" Puck asks.
"No," Santana answers.
They help Rachel get down.
"Let's get the fuck out of here," Puck says.
They quickly head back the way they came, following the arrows.
…
"How long were you down here?" Puck asks.
"Just a few days," Brittany answers. "I didn't think I'd ever get out. But my mom must have gotten worried, because she activated the locator chip they put in me when I was seven because they were tired of me getting lost all the time and so the police were able to easily find me."
"Then where the hell were you all summer?"
"Grounded."
"All summer?"
"Mom said she's tired of me getting lost in weird places," Brittany explains. "So she grounded me. It was so boring."
"You could have called someone."
"I lost my cell phone," Brittany says. "I dropped it in some water."
…
"What if the freak that did that to the rabbit is still down here?" Puck asks.
"Well then let's hope he's not around at the moment," Rachel replies.
-
"You could probably take him, Puckerman," Santana tells him. "Stop being such a pussy."
"Not if he's some weird psycho like Michael Meyers," Puck snaps back.
"More likely it's some transient suffering from PTSD that isn't quite right in the head. Though the fact that he's down here implies a possibly psychological need to be away from traditional society. It's possible if we did run into him, he would react negatively and we'd most likely have to flee."
"But that's only if he has a weapon," Brittany says. "Right, Rach?"
"Hold up," Puck says. "You understood all that?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I barely understood it," he replies.
"So?" Santana snaps. "I'm surprised you understand anything. Weren't you dropped on your head a lot as a kid?"
"Four isn't that many," Puck grumbles.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that," Santana replies.
"Where normally I find your arguing endearing," Rachel interrupts. "Now is not the time. Especially for people concerned about psychos."
"He doesn't have to be a psycho," Puck says. "He might just be a regular guy with some issues."
"Issues that he solves with crazy violence?" Santana mocks.
"We don't know that. Putting a noose around a stuffed rabbit isn't comforting, but maybe he's just crazy."
"Did you guys hear that?" Brittany interrupts.
They all stop moving and listen.
"I don't hear anything," Rachel says.
"Me neither," Santana agrees.
They continue walking, keeping an eye out for neon orange arrows.
"You know what this reminds me of?" Rachel asks after a few moments.
"What's that babe?"
"That movie, Wolf Creek."
"In what way is it similar?"
"We're extremely isolated with no means of communication. No one knows we're here, so there's really no one to help us and if someone were to come after us, we'd really have no defense."
No one says anything for a moment.
"If you weren't my bro, I'd smack you on the back of the head," Puck says. "Why'd you have to say that?"
"I'm simply saying--"
"Well don't. It's not helping."
"It wasn't intended to be helpful," Rachel replies. "Just an observation."
"Do you guys hear that?" Brittany interrupts again.
"B, if you're trying to freak us out," Santana says.
"No way, San," Brittany replies. "It sounds like there's someone back there."
"Oh my god," Puck groans. "Lopez, keep your women in check. Are they doing this on purpose? Or is this just some elaborate joke you're playing on me?"
"You wish you were worth the effort, Puckerman."
"Let's just keep going," Rachel says. "According to my calculations, we're almost out."
"Oooh, maybe it'll be like that movie, Open Water," Brittany suggests.
"I don't think the water's deep enough for sharks," Rachel tells her.
"Thank god," Santana mutters.
"Do you guys hear that?" Puck interrupts.
"What the fuck, Puckerman?" Santana growls.
"I'm serious. It really sounds like someone's behind us."
They all stop and listen. There's definite splashing happening behind them.
"We need to get the fuck out of here," Puck says. "Now."
They all walk faster, which is difficult in two feet deep water. The increased speed also creates more noise. Because of this, Santana and Puck are constantly looking over their shoulders.
"What if someone changed the arrows?" Puck asks after a couple of turns. "He changed the direction of the arrows and is luring us to an evil lair or something."
"You read too many comic books, dude," Santana says.
"Noah, do you really think someone down here just happens to have the exact same color spray paint as I do, but also has the means to clean up the original arrow?" Rachel asks. "Because that seems highly unlikely."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Though now that you mention it, this does kind of remind me of the mo--"
"Stop talking," Puck interrupts.
"Yeah, babe," Santana agrees. "You're not helping."
"You guys are way too paranoid," Rachel replies. "This is Lima for goodness sakes."
"That's exactly what they say in horror movies," Brittany points out.
"Oh my god," Puck says. "Did you just jinx us?"
"I did no such thing," Rachel replies.
Rachel then stops walking so abruptly that Brittany and Santana both slam into her. Only Brittany's fast reflexes stop Rachel from falling forward from the impact as she grabs Rachel's arm.
"It stopped," she whispers.
"Now they're just lying in wait," Puck adds.
"We've got to get out of here," Santana whispers.
"According to my calculations," Rachel says. "We only have to hit three more arrows before we reach the original tunnel. So just keep walking."
They increase their pace even more. And when they finally see the third arrow, Puck has to restrain himself from whooping.
Once they're outside the tunnel, Puck and Santana run for Rachel's car. Brittany and Rachel follow quickly, but aren't sprinting like the other two.
"Open the door, Rach," Puck calls out.
"No one gets into my car until they're not wearing waders," she yells back. "Take them off and then put them in the trunk."
By the time Brittany and Rachel reach the car, both Puck and Santana are holding their waders gingerly.
"I don't even want to think about what's in that water," Santana says.
Rachel opens the trunk and the waders are dropped inside. Rachel and Brittany strip and do the same. Once everyone's in the car, Rachel pulls out hand sanitizer and passes it to Santana after she uses it.
"You're like a damn Swiss Army knife," Puck mutters.
"I'm taking that as a compliment," Rachel says as she puts the car in drive.
…
Back at the Berry residence, Rachel makes everyone hang up their waders on a hook in the garage.
Inside the house, Santana makes coffee, Puck asks to take a shower and Brittany is content to just hold Quackers.
"Where are you going?" Santana asks Rachel.
"Upstairs to put all this stuff away," Rachel replies before bounding up the stairs.
Once the coffee's done, Santana pours herself a cup and sits at the table with Brittany.
"What are we going to do now?" Brittany asks her.
"Something relaxing I hope," Santana tells her.
"You think they'll be school on Monday?"
"Don't know. Depends on well the prankster did his job, I guess."
"There'll be school on Monday, unfortunately," Rachel says as she enters the kitchen. "I highly doubt that they'll be locked out that long."
"And what would you know about it, Berry?"
"Merely speculating, Lopez. Besides, if school is still cancelled on Monday, I might have to transfer."
"What? Why?"
"Because I refuse to put my education in the hands of individual who are unable to undo a simple childhood prank."
"This is Lima," Puck says entering the kitchen.
He's dressed in sweatpants and a wife beater.
Santana snorts. "Who are you trying to impress now, Puckerman?"
"It's the only thing I had that was clean, Lopez," Puck retorts. "So what now?"
"I think you should take a nap, babe," Santana tells Rachel.
"I'm not five years old."
"But you didn't sleep last night," Santana reminds her.
"I don't want to disturb my sleep cycle."
"What sleep cycle? You're not sleeping."
"But disrupting my normal pattern won't help," Rachel protests. "Yes, I took a nap yesterday afternoon, but then I wasn't able to sleep at all last night."
"Maybe you were too busy," Puck interjects.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Noah," Rachel replies.
"C'mon, we're all friends here."
"Speak for yourself," Santana mutters.
"She's just kidding," Brittany adds.
"I could ask you how," Puck continues. "But first I have to ask, why? I mean, it seems a bit elaborate, something that should be saved for April Fool's Day or something."
"Yes, well, I needed a vacation from McKinley today," Rachel says.
"Anyone else would just stay home," Puck replies.
"Well, I am certainly not anyone else," Rachel replies, primly.
"That's for sure."
"Actually," Rachel says. "Maybe a nap would be a good idea. You don't mind, do you Britt?"
Brittany looks up from her texting. "No. I'll see you later." She jumps up. "Thanks for helping me find Quackers." She gives Rachel a bear hug, kisses Santana on the cheek and punches Puck in the arm before skipping out.
"How's she getting home?"
"I'll give her a ride," Puck says, standing. "But I'll see you later, right bro?"
"Probably."
"Good. Later, Lopez."
"I'm glad you changed your mind about napping," Santana says when the front door slams shut.
"I didn't," Rachel replies. "I think we should talk."
"About?" Santana asks.
"Let's go up to my room. We'll be more comfortable."
Santana quietly follows Rachel up the stairs and into her room. She's feeling apprehensive. The tone of Rachel's voice isn't exactly comforting.
…
Once they're curled together comfortably on Rachel's bed, Santana waits anxiously for Rachel to speak.
"I wanted to talk about yesterday," Rachel says.
"Which part?"
Rachel just looks at her as if to say, "You know which part."
"You didn't feel pressured, did you?" Santana asks. "It didn't seem so, but sometimes you're really hard to read. But I know that you have no problem saying no if you have to."
"I'm just curious about what brought it on."
"B's actually the one that brought it up," Santana replies. "Because of the rumor. You know?"
Rachel nods and Santana isn't sure, but she thinks she hears a growl as well.
"And I said I'd talk to you about it. But then you skipped glee and we came over here and…well, you know the rest."
"I see."
"And I really did plan on talking to you about it. I know we've talked about a threesome, though it was only in passing. But at the same time, it's Brittany, so, you know."
"I do," Rachel agrees.
"You're not regretting it, now, are you?" Santana asks.
"No, definitely not. It's just, you don't want this to be a regular thing, do you?"
"No. Absolutely not," Santana replies. "I mean I love Britt and we used to, you know--"
"Fuck like bunnies?"
Santana looks embarrassed. "Yeah. But I'm in love with you. I mean, no one else would get property of Santana Lopez tattooed on them."
"And how many people would get Rachel Berry's bitch tattooed on them?"
"Exactly. It has to be you and me. But that doesn't mean we can't mix it up a little bit, right?"
"So what you're saying, is that a threesome is akin to using handcuffs?" Rachel clarifies.
"Basically.
Rachel is quiet. Santana almost wishes they weren't cuddling, so she could see her face and maybe figure out what her girlfriend's thinking.
"I agree," Rachel says after the longest five minutes of Santana's life. "She won't be upset if we don't do that again anytime soon, will she?"
"No way," Santana replies in relief. "She just wants everyone to be happy."
"Good," Rachel sighs. "I hate it when Brittany's sad."
"Who doesn't?"
…
"So you wanna talk about this whole not sleeping thing?" Santana asks.
"Not really."
"Rach," Santana says. "I'm getting worried."
"And I'm not? I haven't really slept since Saturday night."
"Maybe you just need me around all the time to fall asleep," Santana jokes.
"That sounds rather lovely, actually. I always miss you when you're not around."
Santana lets the words, as well as the tone, cover her like a warm blanket. Every so often, she worries that she's into Rachel more than Rachel is into her. But then her girlfriend says something that really reinforces how Rachel feels about her. "Well, something's obviously bothering you."
Rachel subconsciously nods and Santana waits.
"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" Rachel asks eventually.
"Well, yeah," Santana replies. "But that's kind of why I love you."
"I'm serious," Rachel insists.
"So am I."
"Because all week people have been treating me oddly. I'm starting to become paranoid.
"Like who?"
"Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Mr. Schue, Ms. Pillsbury."
"No one important then," Santana replies.
"Santana, that's not nice," Rachel chastises. "Those are our teammates and teachers."
"So? When they earn my respect, I'll give it to them."
"And then there's Coach Sylvester," Rachel continues.
"Coach?"
"It seems I have her respect," Rachel explains. "It's comforting in the same way it's comforting to be guarded by a vicious pit bull that could turn on you any minute."
"She does seem to like you now," Santana mentions. "It's different."
"Refreshing perhaps."
"For you."
"It has positives for you as well," Rachel points out. "Remember in the beginning where you were worried about sleeping with the enemy? Now that's no longer an issue."
"I guess."
They lie in silence for a bit.
"So you think I should just ignore them all because you don't agree with them?" Rachel asks eventually.
"No, I'm saying you should ignore them because they don't respect you. Not the way that you deserve."
"You mean how everyone leaves me alone at the moment because they're always following your lead?"
Santana doesn't respond immediately. Even though Rachel has reassured her that she's forgiven, Santana still feels guilty occasionally. She knows how cruel she's been to Rachel.
"San," Rachel interjects. "I'm not trying to assign blame. I'm just trying to understand what you're implying."
"I'm saying that they don't understand you. It's weird," Santana says. "They weren't necessarily a fan of Rachel Berry, but when you change, change in a way that exceeds their expectations, they get angry. As if they want you to stay the same because, I don't know. Because it's who they know and even if they don't like you, they're more afraid of change they don't understand. As if you can only exist in the box they've created. You're not allowed to climb out."
"But not you?" Rachel prompts.
"The Rachel Berry I fell for, even in the beginning, was already starting to change. Don't try to pretend otherwise. I realize now, looking back, that you were probably holding in a little of the crazy because you were worried about scaring me off. And I appreciate that. Because, honestly, I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd been given the full fledge Rachel Berry dating mode."
"Yeah, well, you held back for me as well," Rachel tells her. "Don't pretend you weren't holding your tongue about things I said. Even when we first started hanging out."
"Well, I knew you were crazy, so I figured I should just try to go with it."
"You make me want to be less crazy," Rachel says.
"I don't want you to change for me."
"It's not for you," Rachel replies. "It just sort of happened. Between you and Britt and Noah and the lack of ridicule at school, I was able to relax just a little bit."
"Jeez, if that's your idea of a little bit, it be interesting to see what constitutes a lot," Santana mutters.
"Well, we'll never know, I’m sure."
"I didn't mean it in a bad way, babe."
"I'm simply saying it will never happen," Rachel replies. "I have a feeling it would hinder my escape of this town, which is completely unacceptable."
"Maybe over the summer," Santana suggests.
"I should think not," Rachel says. "Senior year is our pivotal last year of high school. Even if I loathe much about McKinley, it is the hand I've been dealt and so I must act accordingly."
"Why does that mean?"
"There can be no relaxing. The routine stays. I haven't been working my ass off for all these years just to slack off at the last moment. I can only relax when I've achieved my goal."
"I wouldn't expect anything else, babe."
They lay in quiet long enough that Santana begins to think Rachel's fallen asleep.
"San?"
"I thought you fell asleep."
"Obviously not," Rachel replies. "Do you think maybe we could skip bro night tonight? Maybe it could be just you and me until Sunday? I just feel like we never have enough time together."
"Yeah," Santana replies. "I'd really like that."
"Oh good. I would too."
…
Santana insists on being the one to tell Puck and Brittany.
"I am perfectly capable of informing Noah that I'd prefer a night in," Rachel says.
"Of course you are, babe," Santana replies. "But my method is much quicker than the careful explanation you'll give."
"There's nothing wrong with providing a detailed elucidation. Noah deserves as much."
"Sometimes you give Puck way too much credit."
"Bros have to adhere to a certain code," Rachel replies.
"Whatever," Santana says looking at her cell phone. "B's fine with it."
"Brittany is easy going like that," Rachel replies. "What will she do instead?"
"I didn't ask."
"Santana."
"What? She'll tell me later, I'm sure." Santana checks her phone again. "Puck's mad."
"Did you tell him it was my idea?"
"No. I told him it was mine. I figured that would cause less of a fuss."
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him to find some stupid skank to get rejected by because tonight you're mine."
"Must you be so crass?"
"You like it."
…
Santana makes Rachel go to sleep early Friday night.
"What about you?"
"I'll sleep too," Santana replies. "We'll just have to find something to entertain us tomorrow when you make me get up early."
Rachel smiles. "But what will we do in the afternoon, then?"
"Are you saying we can't do it more than once tomorrow?" Santana asks. "Are you punishing me?"
"Thanks for taking care of me."
"Of course. You're my girl."
…
Monday McKinley is open. Grudgingly the students trickle in. Even though everyone showed up, a great many hoped that it would be cancelled again.
Rachel is opening up her locker when she's approached by Tina and Artie.
"Have you heard the latest?" Tina asks.
"That's quite vague. Could you be a bit more specific?"
"Jacob Ben Israel's blog?" Artie asks.
"I refuse to read his insidious blog," Rachel replies.
"Normally, I'd agree," Artie says. "But he's got this whole thing about the school cancellation on Friday."
"Let me guess," Rachel says. "It wasn't a gas leak."
"Nope," Tina answers. "Prankster struck again. Seems he somehow managed to lock up the entire school."
"What? He locked all the doors? That's not that impressive," Rachel replies.
"No. He somehow blocked all the doors so no one could get in. After hours of trying on Friday, they had to break in. But what's really freaky is no one can figure out how he got out. Every door and window was locked."
"Maybe they were still inside, just hiding," Rachel suggests. "Not that I don't appreciate the information, but why?"
Tina and Artie look at each other for a moment. "We thought maybe you knew something about it," Artie explains finally. "I mean, Santana and/or Puck are still the most likely candidates."
"I assure you it's neither of them."
"Because they've told you they're not?" Tina asks. "That's not enough of a reason."
"It is for me."
"No offense, Rachel," Artie says. "But do you think perhaps you're too trusting?"
Rachel sighs. "If I can't trust my girlfriend and my best friend, then who am I supposed to trust?"
"She's got a point," Mike says walking up with Finn.
"You don't even know what we're talking about," Tina replies.
"No," Mike agrees. "But if she doesn't trust her girlfriend and her best friend, then she's up shit creek, isn't she?"
"Elegantly put, my man," Finn says. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Who the prankster could be," Artie answers.
"There's no way it's Puck," Finn says. "He's not smart enough."
Both Tina and Artie half cough, half laugh into their hands.
"Yes, well, I suppose that's one way to look at it," Rachel says. "Who do you think it is then?"
"Honestly? You."
Finn actually managed to shock Rachel. She hopes her astonishment comes off as something else.
"Finn Hudson, why would you say such a thing?"
Finn shrugs. "It makes sense. You're one of the smartest people I know. And who ever did it has to be organized and a good planner."
"That's true," Artie allows.
"Except that I'm not a delinquent," Rachel tells him.
"Yeah, but you said it yourself. Santana is your girlfriend and Puck is your best friend. Prolonged exposure or whatever."
"So because I'm smart and I associate with known trouble makers?" Rachel questions. "That seems like a leap of logic."
"Who else could it be?" Finn asks. "All the other smart kids wouldn't have the guts and the screw ups aren't smart enough. I mean, there have been some really complicated pranks."
"I hate to say this," Mike says. "But he has a point."
"Thanks Mike."
"I don't think he does," Rachel says.
"Plus, whoever it is, warned us away," Finn continues. "Which means it's most likely someone in glee. But the real reason I think it's you over Puck or Santana is that whoever it is warned Becky. And neither of them would have thought of warning her."
"Another good point," Mike agrees.
"Yeah," Arties says. "I'm getting weirded out. That was way too well thought out for Finn."
"Hey!" Finn says.
"It wouldn't be that big of deal, Rachel," Tina says. "If anything, it would be kind of awesome. I mean, you'd be like a god or something. No one's ever managed to pull off so much without being caught."
"That still doesn't mean it's me," Rachel protests.
"What's the big deal, Rach?" Finn asks. "It'd be really awesome if it was you."
"Until the administration hears the rumors and then I'm given detention or worse suspended."
"They wouldn't do that," Finn says.
"Of course they would," Rachel replies. "Whoever it is has made them look foolish on multiple occasions and disrupted things. Take Friday for example; they had to cancel classes. They're embarrassed, I'm sure and are looking for someone to punish."
"Then we won't tell anyone," Finn continues.
"One, it's not me," Rachel says. "Two, we're having this conversation in the middle of the hallway. Three, because of that, I wouldn't be surprised to find the speculation in Jacob's blog tomorrow. He does like to skulk around. Four, you guys can't keep a secret to save your lives. And five, it's not me."
"Are you sure?" Finn tries once more.
"Finn, man," Mike says. "She said no.
"Fine," Finn says. "But it would have been so cool if it was."
Everyone else, but Rachel nods at this.
…
Rachel exits her second period class to find Michelle Jamieson waiting for her.
"Walk you to class?"
Rachel shrugs. "Why not?"
"Worried your girlfriend will be jealous?"
"Aren't you?"
"Touché. So I heard an interesting rumor about you today."
"Lucky you."
"It seems that in addition to being a stud, you're also a genius," Michelle explains.
"While I consider myself to be intelligent," Rachel says. "I wouldn't call myself a genius."
"Anyone that's managed to pull off all the pranks you have without being caught is a genius in my book," Michelle replies.
Rachel stops so abruptly that Michelle gets almost whip lash.
"I'm going to kill Finn," Rachel mutters.
"Hudson? Why's that?"
"Because he's the jag-off that started that rumor. I told him to keep his speculation to himself. Apparently he can't listen."
"So it's not you?"
"He's going to get me suspended. I'm sure Figgins is looking for someone to punish for all this. With no viable suspects, he was forced to simply put up with it. But now, if he thinks he has someone, he's going to pursue it with vigor."
"It'd be so awesome if it was you," Michelle tells her. "And fucking hot."
"Perhaps," Rachel agrees. "But I cannot have a suspension on my permanent record. It could greatly affect my chances of getting into Julliard."
"Too bad," Michelle says. "Because if it was true, I'd be pursuing you hard core."
"Yes, well, thank you, I suppose. But this is my class."
"Later, hot stuff."
…
At lunch, Rachel apprehensively sits at her usual table.
"Don't worry, girl," Mercedes says. "We don't think it's you."
"There's no way," Kurt agrees.
"Speak for yourself," Tina says.
"I'm still on the fence, personally," Artie says.
"Well, I just can't see it, myself," Kurt says.
"Yeah," Mercedes agrees. "No offense Rachel. But I just can't see you sneaking into school in the middle of the night. You know?"
"None taken, Mercedes," Rachel replies. "I'm certainly not known for my stealth."
"That's what happens when Finn can't play Xbox for a night," Kurt says. "His brain goes to crazy places."
"Apparently."
…
Last period, Rachel is once again dragged into Coach Sylvester's office by the same two freshmen Cheerios.
"Bye Rachel," they coo before they leave.
"You seem to have cast some sort of Sapphic spell over my Cheerios," Sue comments as Rachel sits. "Luckily it doesn't seem to be affecting their performance, otherwise I would have to reconsider our alliance."
"Lucky in deed."
"I assume Figgins hasn't called you down to his office yet," Sue begins.
"Not yet," Rachel replies. "But it seems inevitable."
"It wasn't Ladyface that started it was it? I know he and you don't always see eye to eye."
"Finn actually figured it out."
"Perhaps I was wrong about this place," Sue muses. "If he can figure something out, they might actually be educating."
"Anything's possible, I'm sure."
"Well, keep your chin up. They have nothing."
"Of course not," Rachel replies. "There's nothing to have."
"And everything else? It's going well?"
"Uh, yes. Everything else is going fine. After a relaxing weekend, it's easier to ignore the mindless sheep that scurry through the hallways. I only wish the latest scandal didn't involve me."
"The price of greatness, I assure you."
"I suppose I should get used to the feeling then."
"Being a winner is more difficult than it appears.
"You would know, Coach."
"Damn straight, Berry."
…
Just as predicted, Rachel's called into Figgins' office Tuesday morning. Mr. Schuester is there in her defense. Rachel wishes she felt more reassured by this. Perhaps if he hadn't pulled her aside last week.
"I'm sure you know what this is about, young lady," Figgins begins.
"You don't really think it's Rachel, do you?" Will asks him.
Just then the door swings open and Sue strolls in. She leans against the wall by Rachel and waits.
"Sue, as you can see, I'm in the middle of something," Figgins tells her.
"I know. I just came to watch the festivities."
"Sue," Will begins. "You're not going to get Rachel expelled for something she didn't do."
"Oh William," Sue says. "How little you know. It appears I was correct about all that hair gel seeping into your brain and causing damage."
"Sue, I'm only going to ask one more time," Figgins says.
"Actually, Mr. Figgins," Rachel interrupts. "I don't mind. I just want to get this over as quickly as possible."
"Rachel, you can't be serious," Will says. "Sue wants to destroy you."
"I know that, Mr. Schuester," Rachel replies. "However, since I'm innocent, there is nothing she can do." She turns back to Figgins. "And if I'm punished for something I didn't do based purely on circumstantial evidence, I will be returning tomorrow with my fathers and my lawyers and it will be very unpleasant, I assure you."
"I do not respond well to threats, Ms. Berry," Figgins says.
"It's not a threat, sir," Rachel replies. "Just information."
Figgins sighs. "Fine. Will, Sue can stay. But if at any point, it's deemed necessary, she may be thrown out. Is that amendable to everyone? Good. Now, Ms. Berry, I've heard talk of you being behind what happened on Friday."
"The gas leak?"
"We all know it wasn't a gas leak," Figgins replies.
"We do?" Rachel questions. "Then why did you tell us it was a gas leak?"
"Rachel," Will says. "Please don't pretend you haven't heard the rumors stating that it wasn't a gas leak."
"Of course I have," Rachel replies. "However, as I've told you before, I place very little faith in rumors. Many times they prove to be false."
"That is a very naïve point of view, Ms. Berry," Figgins says.
"I prefer to think of it as optimistic."
"Either way, I have reason to believe that you are behind not only last Friday's incident, but every incident that has taken place this year."
"And what gave you that reason?" Rachel questions.
"Young lady, I will not put up with a smartass."
"I am no such thing," Rachel says. "I'm simply curious where this accusation comes from. Because if it's because of rumors, then please remember my previous comment."
"There's no one else it could be," Figgins replies.
"That's your defense?" Rachel is flabbergasted. "If that's all your relying on, I could give you several names. However, I wouldn't because I'm not going to implicate anyone without concrete proof."
"Rachel where were you Thursday night?" Will asks.
"Mr. Schuester, are you siding with Mr. Figgins?"
"Just answer the question, please, Rachel."
"Shameful, William," Sue mutters.
"I was at home, sleeping as one should if they want to be properly prepared for a day of scholastic endeavors. Of course, since everyone in my house was also asleep, I cannot give you any witness statements."
"Rachel," Will says. "We have video of you pulling into the school parking lot at midnight."
"Really?" Rachel asks. "Show me."
"What?"
"Show me. If you have proof that I did this. Then show me."
"You said you had proof," Will says to Figgins. "She has a right to see it."
"No."
"I have a right to see it," Rachel insists.
"You don't need to see it," Figgins says.
"Because all you have is a blurry video with someone pulling in at midnight?" Rachel asks.
"We don't have any cameras in the parking lot," Sue interjects.
"Sue!"
"Trying to trick her into confessing based off of rumors is dirty pool," Sue says. "Which, normally I approve of, but your approach was subpar at best. You should have picked a better partner than William here."
"Is that what you were trying to do?" Will asks.
"It's been months," Figgins says. "I have to get to the bottom of this. Whoever this person is has the school under his thumb and I won't have it. This is my school and I won't be held hostage by some sixteen year old punk."
"May I leave, now?" Rachel asks.
"Yes, you may, Rachel," Will says.
"Thank you."
"If you don't have any proof, then I think Rachel can leave," Will tells Figgins.
Rachel stands and walks out.
"Well this has been educational," Sue says. "So no one is sacred to you, huh, Will? I can't believe you'd give up your only talent so easily. I didn't think it was possible, but you've actually sunk in my estimation. Thanks for the show, Figgins. Next time, maybe you'll consult a professional about such things."
Sue then exits as well.
"Please don't ask me to do anything like that again," Will tells Figgins.
"Don't look at me like that William," he replies. "I'm in a difficult position. Whoever is pulling these pranks has escaped detection for far too long. I saw an opportunity and I took it."
"And what if she's innocent? Would you have suspended her anyway?"
"Something has to be done, Will," Figgins argues. "You give me a solution to the problem and then you can criticize me."
"I need to get to class," Will says before walking out.
…
When Sue exits Figgins' office, she finds Rachel waiting for her.
"Thank you," Rachel says.
"You didn't need my help."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "But you did expedite the process, which I do appreciate."
"Those two wouldn't know a proper interrogation if it kicked them in the face."
"They do need to work on their technique, certainly."
"I'd admit to being curious how you did it, if I thought you'd tell me," Sue says.
"I'm glad we understand each other, Coach."
"However, The Cult of Sue may require your candor at a later date."
"I can't make any promises."
…
When Finn walks into glee that afternoon he is greeted by an irate Rachel Berry.
"What did I do?" he asks.
"I spent part of first period defending myself to Figgins and Mr. Schue. And it's all your fault."
"Mr. Schue?"
"I told you someone would over hear us," Rachel continues. "If I am punished in any way for this, I am holding you entirely responsible."
"C'mon, Rach, I didn't mean to get you in trouble," Finn protests. "You guys asked and I answered is all."
"What the hell did you do, Hudson?" Santana growls, suddenly appearing behind Finn.
"Nothing. I swear. It was just a big misunderstanding."
"Santana, it's fine," Rachel says. "I can fight my own battles with Finn."
"Yeah," Santana allows. "But you shouldn't have to."
"Ah, that's so sweet, S," Brittany coos.
"What's going on?" Will says upon entering.
Santana is obviously angry with Finn and apparently Rachel, who is standing in between, is the only thing stopping her from hurting him.
"Nothing," Rachel answers. She pushes Santana back until she's in front of a chair and makes her sit.
"Rachel, listen, do you think you and I could talk outside for a moment?" Will asks.
"I'd rather not, Mr. Schue. You made your stance quite clear this morning."
"Rachel, I'm sorry about that. Really," Will tells her.
"I'm sure you are, Mr. Schue."
"He told me he had a tape," Will continues. "I realize now I shouldn't have believed him."
"Obviously. There isn't money in the budget for cameras," Rachel replies.
"I know that now. I just never thought he'd lie."
"It's fine, Mr. Schue," Rachel says. "Nothing that happened this morning was any sort of revelation. I'd rather just move on."
"You can't be serious," Will counters. "Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"What about Coach Sylvester?" Will pushes.
"Nothing, Mr. Schue."
"Uh, Mr. Schue?" Finn says, raising his hand. "Maybe we should just rehearse now? I'm feeling kind of awkward."
There's a murmur of agreement from everyone.
Will sighs. "Fine."
…
"What the hell was that about?" Santana asks as she drives Rachel home.
"Just another chapter in my adversarial relationship with Mr. Schue," Rachel replies.
"What did he do now?"
"He believed the story of me being the prankster."
"Babe, you are the prankster," Santana points out.
"And," Rachel continues over Santana. "He conspired with Figgins to trick me into confessing."
"What?"
"They attempted good cop, bad cop," Rachel explains. "But they couldn't pull it off properly. They tried to make me confess by saving they had evidence they didn't have. I, of course, didn't buy it."
"Mr. Schue was the good cop, I assume?"
"He was. I realize Mr. Schuester and I don't always see eye to eye about things, but I can't believe he thinks it's me."
"Rach, it is you," Santana reminds her again. "And you've been going through a bunch of changes that have garnered some attention. You shouldn't be surprised if people take note and draw their own conclusions."
"Even Finn?"
"Yeah, that threw me too," Santana agrees. "Who knew he had deduction skills? So what did Schuester want to talk about, you think?"
"I'm sure he wanted to apologize or at least attempt reconciliation. I was rather harsh with him about the whole thing."
"You are unbelievable," Santana tells her.
"Why?"
"Because. You did it. You did it all and I know you did it all and yet I totally believed you didn't do it while we were in glee."
"I don't know why you doubt me after Noah and I switched personalities. That was quite convincing, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, that's true."
"Where's Britt?" Rachel asks suddenly. Usually she receives a ride home as well.
"She said she had something to do," Santana replies.
"So it's just you and me again?"
"Guess so," Santana smirks.
"Whatever shall we do?"
"I've got an idea or two."
…
"Why don't you just admit you did it?" Santana asks after when they're lounging in Rachel's room
"Because, I don't want to be suspended. I can't have that on my permanent record. Think of the scandal."
"I doubt there'd be a scandal."
"In addition, I wouldn't be able to pull anything anymore." Rachel leans over to her bedside table and holds up her pink and white polka dotted book. "Look at all these ideas I have that would go unfulfilled. A tragedy, I'm sure."
Santana grabs the book from Rachel's hands and flips through it. She's right, there are a lot of ideas contained inside. And it probably would be a tragedy if some of them didn't happen.
"You know I've been thinking," Santana says.
"Does it hurt?"
Santana ignores her. "I think you and I should pull something together. I mean you pulled a couple with Puck. If you're going to be pulling shit, it should be with me, don't you think?"
"Definitely," Rachel agrees. "It's just never come up. Any ideas?"
"I have one or two."
"Good. Though I'd like to wait a bit until the heat's died down somewhat."
"Fair enough."
…
It only takes three days before the school is all a buzz with new gossip. Apparently the hockey team was caught trying to steal a rival school's mascot. It didn't help that they were all drunk. They probably would have escaped with just a reprimand if they hadn't caused so much damage getting into the school.
It's a public relations nightmare for Figgins and so discovering the identity of the prankster takes a backseat again.
And since Jacob Ben Israel's blog has pictures, police reports and mug shots, everyone else just forgets that Rachel might be the prankster.
"It's one of the only good things about how stupid people around here are," Santana tells Rachel over lunch on Friday. "You can always rely on someone to eventually do something dumb and draw focus."
"Yes," Rachel agrees. "I never thought I'd be so glad that we go to a school with morons."
"You and me both, babe," Santana replies. "You and me both."