From Twitter 05-03-2011
- 08:14:26: Wow, my stupid russian vodka joke was the last thing I said yesterday? I'm sorry. I won't do that to you again today,.
- 08:15:46: Found out more people in my office use Twitter than I thought. Well, two more. One is smart enough to be locked. So curious now.
- 08:19:35: I'm a bit hungry this morning but have forced myself not to spend money to feed me anymore.But these imaginary cookies aren't cutting it.
- 09:54:07: Co-worker's ask "How ya doing?" and my mouth replies "Doing well,thank you for asking!"but my brain is screaming "PLEASE NAP TIME NOW?!"
- 10:01:01: RT @pepperespinoza: DLThe Totally True (Tall) Tales of a Twenty-Something... for free w/code WY33C today! http://tinyurl.com/3wq68pm
- 10:23:23: If you're blue and you don't know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits…
- 10:28:18: There's no such thing as two
- 10:44:57: Another fun day of trying desperately to stay awake until 5. Already failing but I'm optimistic. Just a little over six hours to go *cries*
- 10:52:14: YOU:"Damn,why do you smell so sweet?" ME:"I'll tell you what it WASN'T.Me pouring honey on myself to lick off to help stay awake…not at all"
- 10:54:35: YOU:"Uh, instead of pouring honey on the top of your hand, why not just go get a spoon?" ME:"Why don't YOU just go…hmm, oh yeah. BRB!"
- 10:55:57: The most exciting thing about nearly asleep work is the random mouse clicks. I'm going to get startled from sleep to a screen full of popups
- 11:17:36: Twice in a month's time I've been offered something considered "A bit spicy" that my mouth regretted.Clearly my definition of "a bit" varies
- 11:26:25: Black Ops.Escalation map pack came out today.I should get it to hopefully slow the complaints of having to see the same ol maps all the time
- 13:33:43: I use the word "soda" because it seems right. The "other word" does not. And if you use it, I'll "other word" you in the mouth.
- 13:51:53: As @ trixie360 pointed out so nicely, my threats are all bark, no bite. Unless you say Han didn't shoot first. Them's fight'n words.
- 14:15:10: RT @phirm: "That." --She
- 15:32:45: When people leave me in chat conversations, I tend to send them off with an "enjoy" which I fear comes off as me giving them permission.
- 15:36:55: Reality,if our chat end w/ "enjoy" I'm really saying "Hope you enjoy what you're doing that made you leave me.I totally don't hate you now"
- 15:38:25: For those of you that I actually say that to,this is one more of those lies I tell to sound more interesting.You can move along now.Enjoy!
- 15:48:06: I need to get out more often.Ever since I stopped drinking I ran out of interesting stories to tell.And by interesting, I mean embarrassing.
- 15:52:06: Know how high people avoid tasks saying "Man,I'm too high"? I'm gonna do the same with booze. It's not alcoholism, it's effective laziness.
- 15:54:13: After quitting for three months,I've started smoking again.I know it's a nasty habit but someone's gotta send Big Tabacco's kids to college
- 15:58:11: Some people use cigs to help the stress of life. Other's use booze. More use pills. I use all three! #WINNING
- 16:02:24: Sometimes people tell me that my tweets sound depressing and sad. To those people I say, thanks for noticing ;)
- 16:04:45: Cleaning lady came by and asked if I was almost done.I said no and she said she'd praide to God for me.I hope He understands broken english.
- 16:09:47: I actually mostly gave up drinking.When you see how the ones you love act when drunk,it's hard to continue.Oh Andy Capp,I'll praide for you.
- 16:13:42: I should quit smoking. My lungs probably look like rotting ground beef with a burnt cream of brocolli soup glaze. Just like ma used to make
- 16:15:43: Do they still make Andy Capp comics? I bet someone thought alcoholism wasn't funny. Well, try saying that to your local college student.
- 16:20:29: Why do they call marijuana "pot" It's not like they're smokes out of one. But if you could load and smoke a pot like you'd load a bowl…Woo!
- 16:24:24: Drugs have crazy stupid names. Dope,blow,yadda yadda ya. Can I name the next one? I like Shmoopikins. Try asking for that and looking tough
- 16:25:04: Yo, sup dawg. Can you hook a brotha up wit some Shmoopikins?
- 16:27:09: DAMN! Hey dawg, you nipped (doing it will be called "nipped") some of this Shmoopikins yet? This shit has got me so f*cked up!
- 16:28:01: Remember, friends don't let friends do shmoopikins.
- 16:29:18: I'm sorry, if dogs could talk, would they sound like cartoon cavemen? "Mmm, me hungry. Me need num num's!"
- 16:35:25: So 50, if we're gonna party like it's my birthday, does that mean we're going to sit in the silent dark with some birthday hostess cupcakes?
- 16:38:16: It's been a few months at least since I've made this tweet. Have we discovered immortality yet……DAMN IT! Get on that people!!!
- 16:52:48: My mom said I could grow up to be anything I wanted if I put my mind to it.Hmm,I didn't think I even knew the words "Desk Jockey" as a kid.
- 17:19:52: Remember one validated crazy thought does not justify a dozen. Try being less crazy, crazy.
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