Somewhere between sleep and awake comes forth our most hated fears
There are somethings we can never forget in our lives.
Some may all be speculative, or "what if" situations. I am not really know who lets the past totally dictate my life and let it consume me to the point of control, but it seems that no matter how hard I fight to let go, I am haunted by the skeletons in my closet.
What gets me is that it is not a person who haunts me. It is an event. And its not even a real event, it is a possible scenerio of what my life could be like. And I hate it. I know that it never happened. I have had several people tell me it wasn't true, even the person who aided in the cause of the event. I prayed and ask for signs, and I took them as they were. I KNOW it never happened. I know it is all based on a psychopath and a twisted sense of control and reality.
So why does my brain torment me so? Why can't I shake this? WHY ARE YOU STUCK IN MY HEAD!? YOU DO NOT EXIST, YOU NEVER HAPPENED! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK; STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!!!!!
if only that could work. Why do these images haunt me? Have I not learned what I was suppossed to learn? Or is it a reminder that we all make mistakes...yes, make mistakes...
Some may all be speculative, or "what if" situations. I am not really know who lets the past totally dictate my life and let it consume me to the point of control, but it seems that no matter how hard I fight to let go, I am haunted by the skeletons in my closet.
What gets me is that it is not a person who haunts me. It is an event. And its not even a real event, it is a possible scenerio of what my life could be like. And I hate it. I know that it never happened. I have had several people tell me it wasn't true, even the person who aided in the cause of the event. I prayed and ask for signs, and I took them as they were. I KNOW it never happened. I know it is all based on a psychopath and a twisted sense of control and reality.
So why does my brain torment me so? Why can't I shake this? WHY ARE YOU STUCK IN MY HEAD!? YOU DO NOT EXIST, YOU NEVER HAPPENED! GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK; STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!!!!!
if only that could work. Why do these images haunt me? Have I not learned what I was suppossed to learn? Or is it a reminder that we all make mistakes...yes, make mistakes...