Doctor Who/HIMYM Crossover Fanfic: Need a Decent Shirt
Title: Need a Decent Shirt
Author: Tabitha Grace Smith (sl_podcast)
Rating: G
Characters: Barney Stinson, The Doctor - 9
Fandom: Doctor Who/HIMYM
Timeline: 2005
Summary: Why did 11 say he needed a decent shirt...?
When a whirling blue box appeared behind an alley in New York City Barney Stinson didn't flinch. Barney never flinched in the face of the unknown (well maybe if that face was in desperate need of some botox and he hadn't consumed the appropriate amount of alcohol to "take one for the team"). Most importantly on that night, which was Sunday night, Barney was fairly intoxicated.
"Hullo." A man called out to Barney as he came out of the blue box. Even in Barney's tipsy state he could tell the man in the black jacket was not from around here.
"You talking to me?" Barney said. He realized afterward it was probably the most un-awesome thing he had said that night, but he gave himself a bit of grace since he had just slept with Minx Fairchild. Any woman with a name that dirty gave a bro a pass to be uncool for at least 24 hours.
"Why yes, uh. What day is it?"
Barney rubbed an eye and tried to decide if this British-sounding man was merely a figment of his imagination. Like that time he had one too many of Carl's shots and made out with a light pole in Central Park. Sadly, the pole had bigger knockers than Mitsy who took him home after she found his tongue frozen to said pole.
"Sunday," Barney said. "And what are you wearing?"
"Eh?" The man looked down at his shirt and jacket. "Something wrong with what I'm wearing?"
Barney gave his customary scoffing laugh. "What's wrong with it? Dude, the black leather jacket and black tee went out ten minutes after the Matrix left the theaters."
"The Matrix?"
Barney waved a hand in the air. "What do you think you're some of loner, do-gooder sent to Earth to right all wrongs? Well, b-t-w even if you were you'd be wearing a better shirt than that."
The man looked at Barney curiously, but Barney could see he was starting to realize that he (of course) was right. "What do you recommend?"
"Someone of your height?" Barney looked the man up and down slowly. "I'd say pinstripes, buttons, and always suit up. You probably would look good with blue." Barney slung an arm around the man's shoulders and pointed. "Look dude. I'm gonna teach you how to live."
The man laughed, something deep within him found the statement amusing. "That's fantastic! But, look, I've got this girl - Rose..."
Barney turned back to the blue box. "Rose eh? She sounds hot."
"Hot?" The man looked confused again.
Barney sighed and rubbed his temples. "Dude, you need to read my blog."
"I will, promise. But I need to get back to her. I'll keep your..." He trailed off. "Suggestions in mind."
With that the man turned and jogged back to the blue box. His hand was nearly on the handle when Barney called out, "Hey bro, what's your name?"
With a giant smile the man turned back to Barney and rocked back on his heels. "Oh. I'm the Doctor. And you're fantastic!" Then, without waiting for a reply, he bounced back into the blue box which started whirling once again and faded out of sight.
Author: Tabitha Grace Smith (sl_podcast)
Rating: G
Characters: Barney Stinson, The Doctor - 9
Fandom: Doctor Who/HIMYM
Timeline: 2005
Summary: Why did 11 say he needed a decent shirt...?
When a whirling blue box appeared behind an alley in New York City Barney Stinson didn't flinch. Barney never flinched in the face of the unknown (well maybe if that face was in desperate need of some botox and he hadn't consumed the appropriate amount of alcohol to "take one for the team"). Most importantly on that night, which was Sunday night, Barney was fairly intoxicated.
"Hullo." A man called out to Barney as he came out of the blue box. Even in Barney's tipsy state he could tell the man in the black jacket was not from around here.
"You talking to me?" Barney said. He realized afterward it was probably the most un-awesome thing he had said that night, but he gave himself a bit of grace since he had just slept with Minx Fairchild. Any woman with a name that dirty gave a bro a pass to be uncool for at least 24 hours.
"Why yes, uh. What day is it?"
Barney rubbed an eye and tried to decide if this British-sounding man was merely a figment of his imagination. Like that time he had one too many of Carl's shots and made out with a light pole in Central Park. Sadly, the pole had bigger knockers than Mitsy who took him home after she found his tongue frozen to said pole.
"Sunday," Barney said. "And what are you wearing?"
"Eh?" The man looked down at his shirt and jacket. "Something wrong with what I'm wearing?"
Barney gave his customary scoffing laugh. "What's wrong with it? Dude, the black leather jacket and black tee went out ten minutes after the Matrix left the theaters."
"The Matrix?"
Barney waved a hand in the air. "What do you think you're some of loner, do-gooder sent to Earth to right all wrongs? Well, b-t-w even if you were you'd be wearing a better shirt than that."
The man looked at Barney curiously, but Barney could see he was starting to realize that he (of course) was right. "What do you recommend?"
"Someone of your height?" Barney looked the man up and down slowly. "I'd say pinstripes, buttons, and always suit up. You probably would look good with blue." Barney slung an arm around the man's shoulders and pointed. "Look dude. I'm gonna teach you how to live."
The man laughed, something deep within him found the statement amusing. "That's fantastic! But, look, I've got this girl - Rose..."
Barney turned back to the blue box. "Rose eh? She sounds hot."
"Hot?" The man looked confused again.
Barney sighed and rubbed his temples. "Dude, you need to read my blog."
"I will, promise. But I need to get back to her. I'll keep your..." He trailed off. "Suggestions in mind."
With that the man turned and jogged back to the blue box. His hand was nearly on the handle when Barney called out, "Hey bro, what's your name?"
With a giant smile the man turned back to Barney and rocked back on his heels. "Oh. I'm the Doctor. And you're fantastic!" Then, without waiting for a reply, he bounced back into the blue box which started whirling once again and faded out of sight.