Podcast Awards Crack!Fic: When a Hammer isn't a Hammer
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Title When a Hammer isn't a Hammer
Author sl_podcast aka Tabz
Rating PG
FandomDr. Horrible/Handy Manny
Characters/Pairing (if any)Pat the Hammer, Captain Hammer
A/N: Dr. Horrible isn't mine, but if it was you bet Penny wouldn't have died and her shoes would have been in frame. Handy Manny isn't mine either... but have you seen Wilmer Valderrama?! Yum.
"I'm a hammer!" Pat said proudly. Pulling up to his full 14 and 3/4ths inches.
Captain Hammer was now 100% sure that the psychiatrist had prescribed medication that was entirely too strong for his super psyche. He blinked at the tiny blue hammer who had hopped over to him. Maybe that's what super heroes see, Captain Hammer thought to himself. Instead of seeing pink elephants we see blue hammers. He was just about to ignore the tiny tool when Pat summoned the courage to talk again.
"I really like your shirt." Pat twisted his head to the side slightly.
Captain Hammer decided that if he was going to hallucinate something, he might as well talk to it. Especially since it seemed to have good taste in shirts. "Why thank you tiny hammer."
"Are you a super hero?" There was a twinge of awe in his voice. Captain Hammer felt his chest swell with pride, but then it deflated.
"I used to be kid. Not anymore."
Pat bounced a bit closer. Captain Hammer could see there wasn't a lot of comprehension in his eyes, but Pat seemed concerned. "Not anymore? But you look very strong!"
Captain Hammer nodded. "I am. And I'm naturally this way."
Pat bounced over to the left, still examining Captain Hammer. "And you have a costume, just like a super hero."
Again, Captain Hammer nodded.
"And you fight evil...?"
Captain Hammer sighed. The conversation was getting more and more depressing. "But my nemisis was Doctor Horrible. And he won." Captain Hammer reached for his beer and took a swig. "Now I just knit..."
Pat crooked his head again to the side. "But, Manny always says if you don't succeed the first time, that you should try again."
Captain Hammer coughed, a little jaded cough that came out meaner than he really had meant to. "Look. Tiny hammer. I don't care who Manny is, or who you really are, but I'm done. Washed up. So why don't you just go find some nails and pound them into something?"
Pat's face fell. Well, it fell as much as a hammer could fall. "But..."
"No buts about it little blue thing. Scamper back to your tool box."
Pat started to hop away, but then he turned back to Captain Hammer. "You're always a hero... even when you're scared."
The words kind of hit Captain Hammer, but by the time he found words -- the tiny blue hammer was gone.
Just then a short, Mexican-American man in a green shirt and a bright red hat came over. "Hola! Have you seen my hammer?"
Captain Hammer made a mental note to call his psychiatrist as soon as he got home.
Title When a Hammer isn't a Hammer
Author sl_podcast aka Tabz
Rating PG
FandomDr. Horrible/Handy Manny
Characters/Pairing (if any)Pat the Hammer, Captain Hammer
A/N: Dr. Horrible isn't mine, but if it was you bet Penny wouldn't have died and her shoes would have been in frame. Handy Manny isn't mine either... but have you seen Wilmer Valderrama?! Yum.
"I'm a hammer!" Pat said proudly. Pulling up to his full 14 and 3/4ths inches.
Captain Hammer was now 100% sure that the psychiatrist had prescribed medication that was entirely too strong for his super psyche. He blinked at the tiny blue hammer who had hopped over to him. Maybe that's what super heroes see, Captain Hammer thought to himself. Instead of seeing pink elephants we see blue hammers. He was just about to ignore the tiny tool when Pat summoned the courage to talk again.
"I really like your shirt." Pat twisted his head to the side slightly.
Captain Hammer decided that if he was going to hallucinate something, he might as well talk to it. Especially since it seemed to have good taste in shirts. "Why thank you tiny hammer."
"Are you a super hero?" There was a twinge of awe in his voice. Captain Hammer felt his chest swell with pride, but then it deflated.
"I used to be kid. Not anymore."
Pat bounced a bit closer. Captain Hammer could see there wasn't a lot of comprehension in his eyes, but Pat seemed concerned. "Not anymore? But you look very strong!"
Captain Hammer nodded. "I am. And I'm naturally this way."
Pat bounced over to the left, still examining Captain Hammer. "And you have a costume, just like a super hero."
Again, Captain Hammer nodded.
"And you fight evil...?"
Captain Hammer sighed. The conversation was getting more and more depressing. "But my nemisis was Doctor Horrible. And he won." Captain Hammer reached for his beer and took a swig. "Now I just knit..."
Pat crooked his head again to the side. "But, Manny always says if you don't succeed the first time, that you should try again."
Captain Hammer coughed, a little jaded cough that came out meaner than he really had meant to. "Look. Tiny hammer. I don't care who Manny is, or who you really are, but I'm done. Washed up. So why don't you just go find some nails and pound them into something?"
Pat's face fell. Well, it fell as much as a hammer could fall. "But..."
"No buts about it little blue thing. Scamper back to your tool box."
Pat started to hop away, but then he turned back to Captain Hammer. "You're always a hero... even when you're scared."
The words kind of hit Captain Hammer, but by the time he found words -- the tiny blue hammer was gone.
Just then a short, Mexican-American man in a green shirt and a bright red hat came over. "Hola! Have you seen my hammer?"
Captain Hammer made a mental note to call his psychiatrist as soon as he got home.