Peace
Wow, it's been a while, and I know it seems like I say that a lot, but I am always amazed at how time flies by. I guess a lot has happened, though i'm not sure anything has changed just yet. Emily and I are over, have been for a little while now, but it doesn't make me depressed anymore, I realized that life goes on with or without you, so i'm going with it. Yes, it hurts from time to time, but it's all in the healing process. One thing that I have noticed is my worry level has, for the most part, decreased, because i'm not here, 200 miles away, worrying about what's happening with her. Now, my whole world is here, which is a lot easier to manage because I have more control over my life and the things that happen. My last entry was about a pattern that kept happening, that I pick the ones that go back to a boyfriend or someone else, and that it was a timing issue. Well, this is true, I appearantly have terrible timing, but come to think of it, I've always had terrible timing, it's one of my tests that God has put before me. However, I have dealt with it successfully in the past, and am working on it now; all it's going to take is patience. There is a girl. I know this may hurt some people, and for that i'm sorry. Most everyone knows this already, and don't understand what's going on. Well, I do. I can wait as long as need be, because it's worth it. I'm not guaranteeing anything, God knows I don't want to be assumptive, but...signs point to yes. That's all I'm going to say about that.
In other news, I'm going to work for the CIA in the summer. WOOT. Yes, i'll be a spy, traveling back and forth from Russia, or doing undercover work in Pakistan, or data entry...you know, whatever they need me to do. First real job...it's gonna be sweeeet. I'm going to buy alot of stuff over the summer, including a mutual fund (YEAH business majors!) and some hot audio stuff for my 'puter and car. I'm not sure I want to go home though, I mean, I love my family and I miss them a lot, especially my brother and sisters, but it's so hard being there. It reminds me of my past constantly, about my mistakes over the years, about the fucked up things that have happened. I never really have anything to do either, but hopefully that will change because i'll get to hang out with my new northern virginia friend. Yeah. So, anyway. I noticed the other day how much we have all changed, some for the worse, most for the better. I mean, if you need an example, look a few lines up concerning "mutual fund." It's so weird hearing these things that my friends do, because they are things my parents do, things adults do, and I don't consider us adults...more like kids in the real world, full of naïveté and good ideas and hope and ambition. I like it.
Take your time
Let me go
We’re over now
Let me go
Let us go
Because we said it, fed it, and bled it
-The New Descent
-==ForDearLife==-
In other news, I'm going to work for the CIA in the summer. WOOT. Yes, i'll be a spy, traveling back and forth from Russia, or doing undercover work in Pakistan, or data entry...you know, whatever they need me to do. First real job...it's gonna be sweeeet. I'm going to buy alot of stuff over the summer, including a mutual fund (YEAH business majors!) and some hot audio stuff for my 'puter and car. I'm not sure I want to go home though, I mean, I love my family and I miss them a lot, especially my brother and sisters, but it's so hard being there. It reminds me of my past constantly, about my mistakes over the years, about the fucked up things that have happened. I never really have anything to do either, but hopefully that will change because i'll get to hang out with my new northern virginia friend. Yeah. So, anyway. I noticed the other day how much we have all changed, some for the worse, most for the better. I mean, if you need an example, look a few lines up concerning "mutual fund." It's so weird hearing these things that my friends do, because they are things my parents do, things adults do, and I don't consider us adults...more like kids in the real world, full of naïveté and good ideas and hope and ambition. I like it.
Take your time
Let me go
We’re over now
Let me go
Let us go
Because we said it, fed it, and bled it
-The New Descent
-==ForDearLife==-