Life According to Rhythm

[skywalker57]

Back after a long time, it seems like my life is piling complications on on top of one another. I never knew how much noise there was in my life until I put my headphones on. Walking around hearing nothing but the music, you notice that everything makes noise, be it the footsteps you make, or a passerby on a cell phone. Right now, its hard to clear my head of my obligations to school and parents to think about something that has been one of the hardest things ever to happen to me. I left her. I couldn't wait to start anew at school and see other people and live life to the fullest. I've never been so wrong in my life. After around 2 weeks, I realized that i had been taking what we had for granted and somehow I forgot that something like that rarely if ever happens to people, so my view of the world snapped back into view. Its been a really hard few weeks talking to her again, realizing how much damage had been done. The guilt was overwhelming at first, i've never felt so suicidally guilty before. But, with the glimmer of hope that we could mend this break, I held on and so did she. I get to see her soon and hopefully it will bridge this gap that's seemingly getting bigger. I believe that it will happen, because the world seems to balance itself out after a while. It seems to have a rhythm that it bounces to, a mood that it puts on you, a way of thinking. Thinking clearly now, i'm more worried than ever, but I think that i have the strength to pull this through the uncertainty that the future holds for me right now. I'm skating close to the edge of failing her, my future and me. God, if you could stop laughing at me and help out a little, it would be much appreciated. I thank all of my friends who gave me support by just being themselves and allowing me to be with them. thanks guys. And Em, I know i don't deserve you, but i'm going to try to live up to my expectations of myself for you.

I broke your heart and took it with me
I can't imagine what it did to you inside
These new cuts are bleeding freely
I'm too guilty now to hide.
-The New Descent

--==For Dear Life==--