Arthur and Eames: A FANFIC
Arthur and Eames...
A FANFIC - 127 HOURS (and nobody loses an arm)
BAM! The time is the present. Arthur is maybe three seconds away from bleeding to death in some unknown warehouse?
BAM! Flashback to 127 hours ago.
ARTHUR: "Let's fuck in 127 hours."
EAMES: "Count me in, darling!"
BAM! 127 hours later. Somewhere in London...
EAMES: "Didn't Arthur tell me something that was supposed to happen right around now?"
In the dank and mysterious and also dirty warehouse.
ARTHUR: "urk."
London.
EAMES: "By jove. 127 hours ago, Arthur told me we would sleep together in 127 hours. WHERE IS HE, GOD DAMNIT?" he pulls out his cellphone and dials emergency contact number one: "COBB WHERE IS HE."
COBB: "Not now, Eames, I'm breastfeeding my children."
EAMES: "But Arthur is hurt and kidnapped I can just feel it."
COBB: "MY CHILDREN!"
Back in the warehouse.
ARTHUR: "Still dying, yo."
Somehow, Eames manages to FIND HIM! Of course, he kneels down, the FILTHY COLD WATER making his knees all wet. The water turns out to be ARTHUR'S BLOOD! Eames cradles Arthur's HEAD in his LAP.
EAMES: Darling!
ARTHUR: I love you.
EAMES: Darling?
ARTHUR: No wait, I can't love you, I'm too strong.
EAMES: Darling...
ARTHUR: No wait, I'm dying.
EAMES: I WILL NOT LET YOU DIEEEEEEEE.
He rushes, RUSHES to a hospital with Arthur in his arms. "GET THIS MAN A DOCTOR. WE NEED A DOCTOR," he BELLOWS.
DOCTOR: I will save him! *tsk tsk* It's not looking good. Who are you?
EAMES: I am his man love.
DOCTOR: Gay men? In MY hospital??
EAMES: I will punch you.
DOCTOR: GAY!
Eames: I will shoot you.
DOCTOR: Right this way.
Arthur is SAVED. Wakes up with Eames asleep in a chair.
EAMES: (of course he snores)
ARTHUR: I knew you'd find me.
EAMES: Darling.
ARTHUR: Be gentle with me.
EAMES: I shall heal you with my dick.
He does. They get married. The fic ends with trans-atlantic hijinks.
(Wasn't this fun?)
A FANFIC - 127 HOURS (and nobody loses an arm)
BAM! The time is the present. Arthur is maybe three seconds away from bleeding to death in some unknown warehouse?
BAM! Flashback to 127 hours ago.
ARTHUR: "Let's fuck in 127 hours."
EAMES: "Count me in, darling!"
BAM! 127 hours later. Somewhere in London...
EAMES: "Didn't Arthur tell me something that was supposed to happen right around now?"
In the dank and mysterious and also dirty warehouse.
ARTHUR: "urk."
London.
EAMES: "By jove. 127 hours ago, Arthur told me we would sleep together in 127 hours. WHERE IS HE, GOD DAMNIT?" he pulls out his cellphone and dials emergency contact number one: "COBB WHERE IS HE."
COBB: "Not now, Eames, I'm breastfeeding my children."
EAMES: "But Arthur is hurt and kidnapped I can just feel it."
COBB: "MY CHILDREN!"
Back in the warehouse.
ARTHUR: "Still dying, yo."
Somehow, Eames manages to FIND HIM! Of course, he kneels down, the FILTHY COLD WATER making his knees all wet. The water turns out to be ARTHUR'S BLOOD! Eames cradles Arthur's HEAD in his LAP.
EAMES: Darling!
ARTHUR: I love you.
EAMES: Darling?
ARTHUR: No wait, I can't love you, I'm too strong.
EAMES: Darling...
ARTHUR: No wait, I'm dying.
EAMES: I WILL NOT LET YOU DIEEEEEEEE.
He rushes, RUSHES to a hospital with Arthur in his arms. "GET THIS MAN A DOCTOR. WE NEED A DOCTOR," he BELLOWS.
DOCTOR: I will save him! *tsk tsk* It's not looking good. Who are you?
EAMES: I am his man love.
DOCTOR: Gay men? In MY hospital??
EAMES: I will punch you.
DOCTOR: GAY!
Eames: I will shoot you.
DOCTOR: Right this way.
Arthur is SAVED. Wakes up with Eames asleep in a chair.
EAMES: (of course he snores)
ARTHUR: I knew you'd find me.
EAMES: Darling.
ARTHUR: Be gentle with me.
EAMES: I shall heal you with my dick.
He does. They get married. The fic ends with trans-atlantic hijinks.
(Wasn't this fun?)