(no subject)
This week has been long, very very long..
I dont remember the beginning of the week, most of my weeks start wednessday anyhow when i get paid, so starting there.
Dave didnt want to drive to the sunshine coast so we didnt repeat the opposite of the adventure of the week before..
Thursday i believe was uneventful, or maybe we had josaphine around?? I dont know anymore. I think i blew my computers PSU and hence was rendered one PC down... but luckily my normal PC was okay.. so instead i installed Linux Fedora Core 2, and went off with the intention of replacing windows (using the HDD from the now useless pc so when i fucked it, nothing was lost).
That went off well, my pc now is faster then ever, also its far better for gaming. I have warcraft3 running beautifully, (far better then windows) steam working with cs (not much improvement) and quake3 installed and running at 170 fps flat. (50fps increase). aMSN is installed so im not missing my messaging funk.. internet browsers and also all the office utilities that office XP comes with.. but free versions.
Nextly friday, i decided that i hadnt been drunk in a few weeks, so put some money in for beer. Picked up dave from work and on the way home hit some gravel on a dodgy road and started sliding. long story short, wasnt going fast enough to hit anything but because i suck at driving and overcorrected a small mistake i made it into a BIG mistake. Blew that tyre and horribly bent the rim. Totally unscratched otherwise.. but still felt stupid.
That leads me to saturday (bypassing the fact that at the end of the night met cat in toowong and she said i looked good unshaven which was a nice change).
I woke up and then drove home using phils spare tyre to replace mine... my parents didnt believe my story despite the fact i gave it straight. I decided i wasnt going to dull it down because i may aswell admit im an idiot, but i have learnt from the mistake. After a short arguement, i managed to borrow some money fortunately and got pete to replace all the tyres and rims on the car. It has nice alloys and far wider tyres. Drives like a dream.
Now just a quick note to tamara mostly... right now im feeling very insecure, and very shaken by my not so great week and the lack of assurance that you still feel the same about me. That and the things we have been dealing with recently... please i need to know at some point if you still feel the same way about me.. and if not whats changed. Because the last two weeks you have told me only once that you love me, and that was forced because i made it so you had to say it..
ive tried hinting that im not in the best of way's to you, and fished for some support, and im worried sick if im not getting it because you just dont want to give it.
Im sorry that im overreacting, but i told you three times today just i love you and you're response was "okay". I tried telling you about my horrible week just for a little support and you made fun of me killing things..
I hate the fact that im so insecure right now, and im sorry im laying it upon you... but yeah... please tell me i dont know what you think anymore. We dont talk enough and dont see each other nearly enough... im really worried.. i tried hinting this too you on MSN but i didnt want to make it a large issue, because i dont want you worried.. but now im just.. yeah. really insecure.
you dont need to worry about it, just give me your honest answer. The week has been hell.. I figure that if i post it on Livejournal, then that would show that im putting everything out in the open. Ugh.. im lost in my own thoughts. My mood is dropped to depressed right now when reminising about the past week, but it will pass as soon as my new week starts. Also it should pass by tomorrow when i see my lovely tamara again.