Admiration of the Best Kind (4/6)
Admiration of the Best Kind (4/6)
Title: Admiration of the Best Kind
Author: skytears9
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP and ex-Ya-ya-yah
Genre: Some Angst, Romance and Fluff. (ALL HAIL FLUFFINESS-but not mine because it’s failed fluffiness. XD)
Pairings: Hikabu (Hikaru x Yabu, one-sided), Hikanoo (Hikaru x Inoo)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2232
Summary: After Hikaru gets his first kiss taken by a fever-stricken Inoo, he doesn’t know how to react. New feelings and events start to blossom from that day, but it only confuses Hikaru even more. What’s going to happen to their friendship?
Notes: Take note that this is in Hikaru’s POV and this chapter is in pre-HSJ days. Also, this is my first time writing a HSJ series fic, so please go easy on me! Comments are much appreciated and fun love!! And make me smile! Don’t be afraid to leave one :D
Uwaahh, I think I made Hikaru seem a little insane here and a bit of a coward. Gomen, Hikaru! *hugs him close* And ZOMFG, I was finally able to decide on a number of parts!! YAYY! Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes here, because I was so sleepy while I was finishing up this chapter. x]
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. And I’m kind of glad that I don’t because then I would be an old Japanese guy who likes to mix the English word “You” while speaking Japanese.
Chapter 4: The Sudden Panic Mode
With Inoo’s lips still on mine, I became overwhelmed with surprise and shock; but mostly surprised by the warm feeling spreading from my lips to the rest of my body. It didn’t help that my brain decided to go into brain lock at that moment. Why did Inoo’s lips have to be so soft and sweet, bringing so many happy memories to my brain-locked mind?
Wait-what?
Realizing the magnitude of the situation, I quickly shook myself out of it and pulled away. To my surprise, Inoo gave me a drowsy smile before falling asleep.
Aw, don’t tell me he was dreaming!
Without another word, I stood up and quickly left the Inoo residence. My legs took me home as my mind started to run wild with heated questions that I didn’t have the clue how to answer them.
But I groaned loudly at the one answer I did know: my first kiss was taken by a boy, a pretty boy at that.
[~ ~ ~ ~]
Once at home, I rushed to my bedroom and tackled my pillow, not knowing exactly how to react after such an incident. True, it was my first kiss, but I had always expected to experience it with a girl. But now that my chance was taken, what was I supposed to do? I wasn’t expecting Inoo to even do that! And yet, why did I feel somewhat happy that it wasn’t a girl?
Was it because, because…
My thoughts were cut off as I tried to distract myself from remembering. My eyes darted around my bedroom as if the answer would come to me. I took in the sight of my school bag on my chair and a bunch of papers and books on my desk. Then I saw a picture of Yabu and me on my desk and one of me and Inoo sitting on the small table near my bed.
A blush graced my cheeks at the sight of Inoo’s pretty features and the memory of Inoo’s face so close to mine.
No-don’t think about it! Don’t give another second thought about it. Inoo was still sick and feverish, that’s all.
But I couldn’t help it, because before I knew it, I was falling back into time and remembering every single detail of it. The way his red cheeks from the fever made him appear with cute blushing cheeks. Or how soft his skin looked at such a close angle.
Wait, what am I doing thinking about such details? I should be more worried about why Inoo did it, rather than how it all happened.
Why did he kiss me anyway? I contemplated the question for a few minutes until…
I gasped at the sudden comprehension. Inoo-chan has feelings for me?!
But it didn’t make me feel any better, because more questions began to form in my mind. If Inoo has any feelings for me, then how long has he liked me? When did he start liking me? Why does he like me? And why hasn’t he told me?
More importantly, what exactly did I feel for Inoo-chan?
I groaned at the mental overload of questions and punched my pillow.
[~ ~ ~ ~]
The next day at practice, I wasn’t sure how to react with my newfound knowledge and experience. My stomach was wrought with anxiety as I walked into the jimusho and eagerly greeted everyone already there, but kept my eyes open for Inoo.
Was I supposed to acknowledge the way he felt; let alone the fact that he took my first kiss? How would that work anyway? Do I just go up to him and ask if he remembers anything during his feverish state of mind? But that’s quite unlikely.
With more questions to worry about, I sighed to myself and tried to relax on the couch in the Ya-ya-yah dressing room. Since I had come early, Inoo usually came later, so I wouldn’t have to worry about-
“Morning, Hikaru-kun!”
Not only did my brain freeze at the all-too familiar voice that greeted me, but so did my body. My face seemed to be stuck in a particular ‘Oh’ expression and I somehow lost the ability to move for a whole minute. And yet in my immobilized condition, my heart sped rapidly and a small blush spread onto my cheeks.
“Hikaru-kun?” Inoo called again and waved a hand in front of my face.
Say something, you idiot!
“Oh, uh… H-hey, um, In-Inoo-chan?” I greeted back with what I hoped was a happy expression, but tried to avoid his eyes. “Er, um.. Ha-How are you, uh, fe-feeling tuda… feeling today?” Aw, man, why my voice have to crack at the last few words?
“Oh, I’m feeling much better today! You were the one who took me home and took care of me, right? Thanks so much, Hikaru-kun! It was all because of you!” Out of the corner of my eye, he smiled. He pulled me into a warm hug and my heart leapt at yesterday’s memory.
“Huh? Uh, yeah, t-that, er, was me. It’s, um, r-really no puh-problem.” I answered, but in a stuttering tone. My right eye twitched at our close proximity and he let me go before my heart decided to beat any faster than it already was.
“I just hope I wasn’t too much of a burden for you,” Inoo said with a hopeful smile. This time I couldn’t help, but look at him in the eye and I couldn’t believe what I saw. I blinked twice before letting it process into my mind.
Why was there suddenly a blinding glow around Inoo? It was like he emitted pure cuteness I couldn’t help, but be attracted to him.
What was happening to me? I shook my head once before answering and tried to ignore the glow around Inoo. Somehow I had gotten the correct ability to speak again. “Oh, no, you weren’t a burden at all. I just helped you into bed and put a wet towel on your forehead.” I smiled to reassure him and then hesitated to ask, “Did you remember anything while you were sick? I mean, other than the fact that I took you home and took care of you?”
A puzzled expression graced Inoo’s face as he collected his thoughts from yesterday. What am I supposed to do if he does remember?
“Well, now that you mention it, I had this funny dream that I-”
On impulse, I cut him off and said in a rush, “Ohreally? That’sweird.Well,that’sgreatyou’refeelingbetterbutIhavetogonow.”
I quickly ran off, leaving a befuddled Inoo behind me; only to accidentally lock myself in one of the stalls of the third floor bathroom.
[~ ~ ~ ~]
Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t let Inoo finish his sentence. Or why I started to avoid him.
Maybe I was afraid that he would remember and I would have nothing to say, because I still don’t know how I really felt about him. Or maybe I was afraid he wouldn’t remember and I would be left with never ending questions and their embarrassing answers.
It began with our daily conversations becoming less frequent and an increase in the physical distance between us. Then I slowly wouldn’t directly talk to him. For example, during practice I would tell Arioka Daiki, a fellow J.J. Express member, to correct Inoo’s dance moves because I was too far to show it to him. Ever so slowly the days I avoided him became weeks and the time we spent together was sparse. Mostly because I always came up “busy” on the days he asked to hang out.
But I knew Inoo could sense that I was avoiding him, because he knows me all too well. Whenever I entered the same room as him, his glare would be the first thing I noticed and the only thing to make my stomach churn. His numerous attempts at talking to me made me feel horrible as I declined each conversation. I also felt like a criminal knowing that I was the reason for his sullen frown so early in the morning.
But no matter how much guilt and desolate feelings made a living in my heart, I just couldn’t face Inoo yet.
[~ ~ ~ ~]
Fortunately during that time apart, I began to really question my feelings for Inoo. I mean, I did love Inoo. I love him because he’s my best friend and I know I could always lean on him. His smiles and happy-go-lucky mood always made my world be at ease. I also noticed how my laughter was much louder and whole-hearted around him. And beyond doubt, I knew that he was a true friend that was hard to come by.
But was I confusing my feelings of friendship with love?
Too bad, I didn’t have enough time to fully realize my feelings for him.
[~ ~ ~ ~]
It took me by surprise one day before the shooting of Ya-yah-yah. It was break time and as usual, Yabu and Shoon were off spending some time together. The juniors were running around and happily interacting with one another, some not even bothering about their currently assigned groups. I could see some of the members of J.J. Express near the rehearsal room. Daiki was leaning on Takaki Yuya’s shoulder as he played a game on his PSP. I wanted to hang out with Taiyou, but I could see that he was already talking to Shoon’s little brother, Reon.
Deciding that my usual option was to listen to music, I made my way to the Ya-ya-yah room to get my mp3 player. I was a few feet from the door when two juniors ran into me, making me fall backwards onto the floor. My pained groan was drowned by their tinkering laughter.
I recovered faster than my kouhais and saw that it was Yuto, another member of J.J. Express and Yamada Ryosuke, his best friend. Even though I knew I couldn’t be mad at him, I could pretend, “Oi, Yuto-kun! What are you doing?”
“Sorry, Hikaru-kun, we were just playing tag when we bumped into you. Gomen ne~” Yuto apologized with an angelic smile.
I laughed at their childish game, “Hai, hai.” I stood up and helped the other two stand up as well. I was about to ask them if I could join their game when someone called my name.
“Ne, Hikaru-kun.”
I froze at the sound of his voice and regretted turning around. I plastered on a smile to happily greet him, but became crestfallen when I saw his face.
Inoo stood by the door with a sad face and red eyes welling up with tears staring straight at me. There were tears already running trails down his cheeks, but he didn’t bother to wipe them away.
“Inoo-chan, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I worriedly asked. I took a step closer to him and saw out of the corner of my eye Yuto and Yamada escape from the awkward scene.
“Hikaru-kun, why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” Inoo desperately asked, letting his tears run freely now. “I thought we got along so well and were best friends, but now you won’t even talk to me. I don’t like it when you avoid me like this, because it hurts and feels like I made you mad. Did I make you mad? What did I do? Do you hate me now?”
At that moment, I forgot all about my reasons for avoiding him and the fact that Inoo took my first kiss. It didn’t matter to me anymore if he remembered the kiss or not. All that mattered was that he just looked so unhappy that I wanted nothing more than to take him into my arms and make his frown disappear.
I quickened my pace towards him saying, “No, of course, I don’t hate you, Inoo-chan! I could never hate you-”
“Then why have you been avoiding me? Why is it every time I asked to hang out, you told me had a school project to do or were busy? Did I do something wrong?” Inoo cried with eyes full of gloom.
“No, you didn’t, it’s, er, just that, well, um..” I answered, but wavered in answering his other questions. He tried to look me in the eyes, but I kept evading his attempts.
“Then what is it?” Inoo was starting to get angry and he rarely ever did.
Now, it all came down to this.
Inoo-chan, don’t make me ask this question! It’s just too embarrassing and I’m still afraid to know the answer. Despite my unwillingness to hear the answer, the question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
“Do you like me, Inoo-chan?”
The question seemed to hang in the air as Inoo started at me with hollow eyes. The tears were gone, but it seemed like behind those eyes he was trying to figure out the right way to answer my question.
“Yes.” Inoo’s answer broke the silence and he looked at me with intense eyes. In the blink of an eye, his arms were around my waist and his head nuzzled into the crook of my neck. “Yes, Hikaru-kun, I like you. I really, really like you,” he whispered into my right ear. “Please tell me that you feel the same way."