Puck Of All Trades [2/6]
Title: Puck of All Trades
Rating: M, for language
Character(s) : Puck, Rachel, Kurt, Finn, Artie
Spoilers: Up to current aired US episodes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I get nothing. Please don't sue.
Note: Inspired by the HIMYM fic of similar design and an Esquire article.
Summary: Noah Puckerman has mastered the 75 skills it takes to be a man.
14) Chop down a tree.
Rachel spots him along the main highway attacking a tree with a garbage stick and immediately pulls onto the shoulder. “Noah?” She takes a cautious step toward him. “Are you all right?” He doesn’t answer. He’s breathing heavily and he’s sweating profusely and he just keeps whacking the tree. “Stop.” She pushes his arm down to make him. “What happened?”
He turns slowly and shows her the splash of dyed syrup covering the top of his chest. “Some assholes from school,” he says. “They drive by every now and again and…” He shrugs.
“Does this happen often?”
“S’Okay.”
“Obviously not if you were just trying to fell a tree.”
Puck blinks. “Fell a tree?”
Rachel rolls her eyes and amends, “Attack a tree.”
“Whatever.” Puck picks up the black bag he’d discarded earlier and stabs the forgotten styrofoam cup lying near his feet and disposes it before he goes back to work on the rest of the garbage littering the side of the highway. “You should probably go,” he tells her, “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
Rachel bites her lower lip, torn. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Never better,” he says, though his tense shoulders say otherwise.
“What about your probation officer? Surely you aren’t supposed to just do this unsupervised.”
“She drives by at the top of each hour. Makes sure I’m making progress.” He turns back to her and repeats, “You should probably go. Wouldn’t want to get me in trouble, would you?”
Rachel shakes her head and is just about to pivot back toward her car when, suddenly, a light bulb goes off and she beams and runs to catch up to him and pulls out her iPod. “Why don’t I keep you company? We can work on some songs for Glee.”
He pauses. “I’ve still got another two hours. You sure you don’t got anywhere else to go?”
Rachel looks at the mangled tree and the passing cars and nods determinedly. “I’m sure.”
Later, after she and Puck have finished belting out Queen and Bad Company and Tom Petty and Jack Johnson at the top of their lungs, Rachel calls the sweet boy from her ballet class and apologizes for missing their coffee date and politely declines the offer to reschedule.
15) Calculate square footage.
Artie rolls across the length of the library and settles himself across from Puck as he looks around at all the broken number two pencils littering the tabletop. Before he can ask, Puck shoves a paper marked with a bold, red F under his nose.
“Algebra,” mutters Puck darkly. He snaps his ninth pencil and tosses it lazily and picks up another. “Rectangles, squares, length times width. That’s not hard, is it? Somehow I make it out to be.” Number ten breaks and he gets number eleven as he lets out a groan of frustration.
“Quiet!” the librarian stage-whispers and presses a wrinkled finger to her wrinkled lips.
“We had it down the other day.” Artie asks, “What happened?”
“Fuckin’ tests man!” The librarian shushes him again and Puck glowers as he lowers his voice to a whisper, “I just go blank! It’s all these numbers and shapes and- Fuck!” another pencil snaps in his grip and Puck spits so many curses that they get kicked out of the library for the rest of the week.
“You’re thinking too much,” concludes Artie as he wheels next to Puck down the hallway. “Try associating math with something you‘re interested in,” he pivots and stops them, “And, please, no girls.” He shudders at the thought.
“What, then?”
“Sports? Think of a football field as--”
“I got it!” Puck snaps his fingers, effectively cutting Artie off. “You just gave me a great idea.” He tears off down the hall and yells over his shoulder, “Meet me in the choir room tomorrow morning before first period. I just thought of a new study method.”
The next morning Artie wheels himself into the choir room and finds the piano pushed to the side and thirty vinyl records laid out neatly in six rows of five and a grinning Puck sitting there and waiting for him with a pen and a pad of paper.
16) Tie a bow tie.
Kurt flies into Glee practice practically vibrating with excitement. He jumps Mercedes and gushes, “Blaine just asked me out!” They squeal as one and cling to each others arms as they jump in place. Kurt pulls out first and sticks his neck out. “I’m shaking so horribly I can’t even still myself long enough to fix my bow tie. Could you…?”
Mercedes juts her hip to the side. “Do I look like I’m made for bow ties?”
“Finn!” Kurt leaps into the chair next to his step-brother. “For the love of all Gucci, please tell me dear sweet Carole managed to educate you on the fastening of the gentlemen’s accessory.” Finn blinks blankly at him and Kurt holds his head a bit straighter as his Adam’s apple bobs precariously. “Please do be gentle, my skin is quite fragile.”
“Dude…” says Finn. “I don’t think I understood even half the words coming out of your mouth.”
A hand grasps Kurt’s shoulder and twists him around so suddenly that the soprano can barely make out a squeak of protest before large hands graze his neck and work the cool fabric over his skin. When the hands depart Kurt immediately fishes for a compact from his bag and eyes the perfectly-knotted bowtie securely hugging his throat. “Good Gaga…”
Puck simply slouches low in his seat and gives him an “uh, yeah, you’re welcome” look.
17) Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
Finn and Kurt hold a year-end Glee party at their house the first week of summer vacation and Puck tends bar.
“No alcohol,” stresses Finn desperately as Puck shakes a drink. “Please. My mom and Burt will freak. They’ll never let us have anybody over ever again.”
Puck freezes. “No more football games on the fifty-five inch?” Finn shakes his head and Puck groans as he tosses the shaker out and brings out the cherry juice and soda water instead. “Fine, how ‘bout Cherry Spritzers?”
Finn sags in relief and nods goofily as he asks for it “on the rocks” and Puck just rolls his eyes as he mixes the drink.
18) Speak a foreign language.
Puck helps Rachel bump her B in Spanish to an A+ over the course of a week.
Suspicious, Mr. Schue takes him aside randomly after Glee and asks, “Cómo hiciste eso?”
Puck understands immediately and grins as he responds, “Soy bien chingón.”
Mr. Schue decides to leave well enough alone after that.
19) Approach a woman out of his league.
“I’m not right for you,” Puck says one night when Rachel comes back from dance practice and finds him in front of her house soaked from the rain and sagging against the doorframe. “I know that and I’m sure you know that, but the fact that you still want to sing duets with me and not Finn, well I think that’s your way of saying you kind of don’t hate me.”
“Noah…”
“I’m no saint,” Puck points out, stumbling on quickly, “I’m vulgar and dirty and desperate and I’ve had a lot of sex--”
Rachel interrupts, “This isn’t a very good sales pitch.”
“No sales pitch - this is me.” He holds his arms out, presenting himself. “This is all I have to offer.” His arms fall quickly and he stuffs fists deep into the pockets of his letterman. “You’re the budding star and I’m the Lima loser, but somehow you still make me feel something, and as much as I’ve tried to catch myself from this fall I just can’t and I’m done pretending you aren’t who I want to be with every moment of every day.”
Rachel drops her duffel bag abruptly and launches herself at him and their lips crash in a hungry kiss that has him falling against her front door as she presses their bodies together. “Now that,” she says, pulling back for air, “was a sales pitch.”
20) Sew a button.
They’re practicing their choreography for Sectionals when a low ripping sound echoes through the auditorium and everybody stops and stares as Rachel leaps away from Finn and desperately holds her thin skirt together as the beginnings of a blush threaten to darken her cheeks. She shoots Finn a look, but the jock has his eyes pointed skyward so as not to look at the wardrobe malfunction the zipper of his coat caused.
“For Pete’s sake.” Puck brushes past and drops to his knees to inspect the tear.
Rachel squeals and shimmies away to protect her near-naked hip from view, but Puck catches the small of her back and she freezes.
“Hummel, you got a sewing kit?” The pale soprano tosses it and Puck turns back to Rachel as he threads a needle and orders, “Stay still, I don’t want to stick you.”
Seconds later Rachel is straightening and stretching her leg to test the patched rip, held by a button. She grins and smiles at the handiwork, “Thank you Noah!”
“It won’t hold,” says Puck, tossing Kurt back his kit. “You’ll probably have to toss it when you get home, but it should keep until practice is over.” Kurt gives him a look and Puck growls, “What?”
Kurt cocks a brow. “I honestly don’t know if I should be more surprised by the fact that you actually know how to sew a button or by the fact that you actually told Rachel you didn’t want to stick her.”
The echoing laughter from that actually makes Rachel blush harder than the wardrobe malfunction.
21) Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
The first dance recital he goes to for her he punches somebody backstage.
“Noah!” she screeches and flies across the room to latch to his arm before he can reel back and swing again. “Stop! What are you doing?” She gestures to the suited man sprawled on the floor clutching his now-bloody nose, “This is Mr. Abrazi, he funds our studio and--”
“I don’t care who the fuck he is!”
Apparently a marathon showing of My Fair Lady had done nothing to prepare him for this night.
“He insulted your dancing,” Puck defends himself as she leads him way from the growing crowd and pushes him into an empty dressing room. “He said you move like a bloated whale!”
Rachel bites her lips. “Disheartening as that is, Noah, I simply cannot have you assault every single person who insults me.”
“He doesn’t think you can make it to Broadway!” Puck throws his hands up. “He fucking laughed when I said you were amazing up there.” He shakes his head and doesn’t understand why she’s suddenly beaming so brightly at him. “Did you hear me? He thinks you suck.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, Rachel says, “But you don’t.” She kisses the tip of his nose. “And, right now, that’s all I care about.”
22) Give a woman an orgasm so that she doesn’t have to ask for it.
She wakes with her legs tangled in the sheets and the beginnings of a blush coloring her cheeks.
When Puck sits next to her in Glee practice that afternoon and tosses an arm across the back of her seat, she shifts stiffly and tugs her skirt as she crosses her legs.
23) Be loyal.
Finn finds him five minutes before midnight sprawled out on the football field bathing in the moonlight. He ambles across the gridiron with his fists buried in his sweater and kicks the teen’s foot as it twitches a jerky greeting. “Hey man.” Finn folds his long legs underneath him and plops to the ground. “Rachel called me earlier, said you were missing. She’s worried.”
“Is she?”
“I think so.” Finn scratches the back of his head nervously. “Sounded like it, at least, but I can never tell with her when she starts in on one of her rants. I kind of had to give the phone to Kurt so he could translate for me. Most I could make out was that you were missing.”
Puck shrugs. “As you can see, I’m not missing.”
“I know that.” Finn nods sagely. “Rachel doesn’t though, so you should probably call her.”
Puck hums an acknowledgment and asks, suddenly, “We’re friends right?” He scrambles up to his forearms and catches Finn’s eyes. “I mean, I know I slept with your girlfriend last year and I messed around with Rachel when you guys were together, but, I mean… We’re good right?”
“Sure.” Finn blinks, stunned. “I mean, you’re like my brother. Why? What’s going on?” Finn’s eyes go impossibly wide. “Are you dying?” Before Puck can answer Finn’s eyes are already watering and he’s already launched himself into Puck’s arms. “Oh my God, you‘re dying! Do you need anything? I’m so sorry! We should get you to the hospital. Come on,” Finn’s pulling Puck to his feet. “It’s going to be all right, man, we’ll get you checked out and-”
“Cool your shit dude!” Puck pushes Finn back. “I’m not dying!”
Finn sniffles. “You’re not?”
“No! Fuck man!”
“Don’t be a dick,” Finn retaliates the shove. “I was worried for you.”
Puck shoves back. “Well don’t draw your own stupid conclusions, asshole.”
They shove back and forth a few more times before they fall to the gridiron again and Finn has to swipe his eyes with his sleeves before he can look up.
“Look we’re bros, right?” Finn nods. “And you tell me the truth, right?” Finn nods again and Puck sighs before he asks, weakly, “Do you think I’m a good person?”
And when Finn can only blink blankly at that Puck immediately freaks. He punches the ground repeatedly and doesn’t stop until his knuckles are red and dripping and Finn’s holding him back by the shoulders. “What the hell man?” asks Finn furiously. “Look fucktard, I don’t know who the hell you’ve been talking to lately but--”
“My father.”
“What?”
“Who I’ve been talking to?” Puck repeats monotonously, “My father.”
Finn freezes. “He’s in town?”
“He was in town,” amends Puck as he runs a hand through his mohawk. “Stopped by the house during dinner; probably wanted to see how the family was getting along without him.”
“What’d he say to you? “asks Finn. “Must’ve been something to get you this worked up.”
“Same shit he’d been saying since I was five-years-old.” Puck chuckles humorlessly as he recites, “I’m never going to amount to anything, I ruined his life, I’m a loser--”
“You’re not a loser,” Finn interrupts furiously, “You’re a good guy.”
Puck shrugs helplessly. “What if I’m not?”
“You are though,” says Finn determinedly. “You’re a good guy and one of the best friends I could ever ask for.”
“I’m sure you could ask for better,” says Puck miserably.
“Would you stop? Fuck man.” Finn punches his shoulder. “This is your father talking, not you. Why are you letting some asshole you’ve seen maybe, total, like three years out of your entire life get to you? Listen to me, man,” Finn takes Puck’s shoulders and twists him and catches his gaze. “I know you and I know you’re a good guy.” Finn shrugs. “Yeah, okay, you’ve done some horrible shit, but that doesn’t make you’re a bad guy, just makes you human. Okay?”
Puck nods, but he’s stone still and his eyes are glazed and, yeah, maybe some of it’s getting through, but not enough for Finn.
“Look at Glee!” Finn stumbles on, “Look at Kurt and Artie and Rachel and everybody ! You stick up for us and protect us and you actually care about us! And your mom and your sister? Look at them too man. You’d do anything for them. I’m telling you, nobody important in your life thinks you’re a bad guy.”
“No?” asks Puck, perking slightly.
“No,” says Finn, shaking his head and nudging him playfully as he adds, “Flawed, maybe, but we can’t all be perfect like me.”
Puck can only throw back his head and laugh as he launches himself at Finn and they wrestle until Puck just stops and just lays there and just has to toss his arm across as his eyes as Finn just sits there with him.
Rating: M, for language
Character(s) : Puck, Rachel, Kurt, Finn, Artie
Spoilers: Up to current aired US episodes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I get nothing. Please don't sue.
Note: Inspired by the HIMYM fic of similar design and an Esquire article.
Summary: Noah Puckerman has mastered the 75 skills it takes to be a man.
14) Chop down a tree.
Rachel spots him along the main highway attacking a tree with a garbage stick and immediately pulls onto the shoulder. “Noah?” She takes a cautious step toward him. “Are you all right?” He doesn’t answer. He’s breathing heavily and he’s sweating profusely and he just keeps whacking the tree. “Stop.” She pushes his arm down to make him. “What happened?”
He turns slowly and shows her the splash of dyed syrup covering the top of his chest. “Some assholes from school,” he says. “They drive by every now and again and…” He shrugs.
“Does this happen often?”
“S’Okay.”
“Obviously not if you were just trying to fell a tree.”
Puck blinks. “Fell a tree?”
Rachel rolls her eyes and amends, “Attack a tree.”
“Whatever.” Puck picks up the black bag he’d discarded earlier and stabs the forgotten styrofoam cup lying near his feet and disposes it before he goes back to work on the rest of the garbage littering the side of the highway. “You should probably go,” he tells her, “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
Rachel bites her lower lip, torn. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Never better,” he says, though his tense shoulders say otherwise.
“What about your probation officer? Surely you aren’t supposed to just do this unsupervised.”
“She drives by at the top of each hour. Makes sure I’m making progress.” He turns back to her and repeats, “You should probably go. Wouldn’t want to get me in trouble, would you?”
Rachel shakes her head and is just about to pivot back toward her car when, suddenly, a light bulb goes off and she beams and runs to catch up to him and pulls out her iPod. “Why don’t I keep you company? We can work on some songs for Glee.”
He pauses. “I’ve still got another two hours. You sure you don’t got anywhere else to go?”
Rachel looks at the mangled tree and the passing cars and nods determinedly. “I’m sure.”
Later, after she and Puck have finished belting out Queen and Bad Company and Tom Petty and Jack Johnson at the top of their lungs, Rachel calls the sweet boy from her ballet class and apologizes for missing their coffee date and politely declines the offer to reschedule.
15) Calculate square footage.
Artie rolls across the length of the library and settles himself across from Puck as he looks around at all the broken number two pencils littering the tabletop. Before he can ask, Puck shoves a paper marked with a bold, red F under his nose.
“Algebra,” mutters Puck darkly. He snaps his ninth pencil and tosses it lazily and picks up another. “Rectangles, squares, length times width. That’s not hard, is it? Somehow I make it out to be.” Number ten breaks and he gets number eleven as he lets out a groan of frustration.
“Quiet!” the librarian stage-whispers and presses a wrinkled finger to her wrinkled lips.
“We had it down the other day.” Artie asks, “What happened?”
“Fuckin’ tests man!” The librarian shushes him again and Puck glowers as he lowers his voice to a whisper, “I just go blank! It’s all these numbers and shapes and- Fuck!” another pencil snaps in his grip and Puck spits so many curses that they get kicked out of the library for the rest of the week.
“You’re thinking too much,” concludes Artie as he wheels next to Puck down the hallway. “Try associating math with something you‘re interested in,” he pivots and stops them, “And, please, no girls.” He shudders at the thought.
“What, then?”
“Sports? Think of a football field as--”
“I got it!” Puck snaps his fingers, effectively cutting Artie off. “You just gave me a great idea.” He tears off down the hall and yells over his shoulder, “Meet me in the choir room tomorrow morning before first period. I just thought of a new study method.”
The next morning Artie wheels himself into the choir room and finds the piano pushed to the side and thirty vinyl records laid out neatly in six rows of five and a grinning Puck sitting there and waiting for him with a pen and a pad of paper.
16) Tie a bow tie.
Kurt flies into Glee practice practically vibrating with excitement. He jumps Mercedes and gushes, “Blaine just asked me out!” They squeal as one and cling to each others arms as they jump in place. Kurt pulls out first and sticks his neck out. “I’m shaking so horribly I can’t even still myself long enough to fix my bow tie. Could you…?”
Mercedes juts her hip to the side. “Do I look like I’m made for bow ties?”
“Finn!” Kurt leaps into the chair next to his step-brother. “For the love of all Gucci, please tell me dear sweet Carole managed to educate you on the fastening of the gentlemen’s accessory.” Finn blinks blankly at him and Kurt holds his head a bit straighter as his Adam’s apple bobs precariously. “Please do be gentle, my skin is quite fragile.”
“Dude…” says Finn. “I don’t think I understood even half the words coming out of your mouth.”
A hand grasps Kurt’s shoulder and twists him around so suddenly that the soprano can barely make out a squeak of protest before large hands graze his neck and work the cool fabric over his skin. When the hands depart Kurt immediately fishes for a compact from his bag and eyes the perfectly-knotted bowtie securely hugging his throat. “Good Gaga…”
Puck simply slouches low in his seat and gives him an “uh, yeah, you’re welcome” look.
17) Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
Finn and Kurt hold a year-end Glee party at their house the first week of summer vacation and Puck tends bar.
“No alcohol,” stresses Finn desperately as Puck shakes a drink. “Please. My mom and Burt will freak. They’ll never let us have anybody over ever again.”
Puck freezes. “No more football games on the fifty-five inch?” Finn shakes his head and Puck groans as he tosses the shaker out and brings out the cherry juice and soda water instead. “Fine, how ‘bout Cherry Spritzers?”
Finn sags in relief and nods goofily as he asks for it “on the rocks” and Puck just rolls his eyes as he mixes the drink.
18) Speak a foreign language.
Puck helps Rachel bump her B in Spanish to an A+ over the course of a week.
Suspicious, Mr. Schue takes him aside randomly after Glee and asks, “Cómo hiciste eso?”
Puck understands immediately and grins as he responds, “Soy bien chingón.”
Mr. Schue decides to leave well enough alone after that.
19) Approach a woman out of his league.
“I’m not right for you,” Puck says one night when Rachel comes back from dance practice and finds him in front of her house soaked from the rain and sagging against the doorframe. “I know that and I’m sure you know that, but the fact that you still want to sing duets with me and not Finn, well I think that’s your way of saying you kind of don’t hate me.”
“Noah…”
“I’m no saint,” Puck points out, stumbling on quickly, “I’m vulgar and dirty and desperate and I’ve had a lot of sex--”
Rachel interrupts, “This isn’t a very good sales pitch.”
“No sales pitch - this is me.” He holds his arms out, presenting himself. “This is all I have to offer.” His arms fall quickly and he stuffs fists deep into the pockets of his letterman. “You’re the budding star and I’m the Lima loser, but somehow you still make me feel something, and as much as I’ve tried to catch myself from this fall I just can’t and I’m done pretending you aren’t who I want to be with every moment of every day.”
Rachel drops her duffel bag abruptly and launches herself at him and their lips crash in a hungry kiss that has him falling against her front door as she presses their bodies together. “Now that,” she says, pulling back for air, “was a sales pitch.”
20) Sew a button.
They’re practicing their choreography for Sectionals when a low ripping sound echoes through the auditorium and everybody stops and stares as Rachel leaps away from Finn and desperately holds her thin skirt together as the beginnings of a blush threaten to darken her cheeks. She shoots Finn a look, but the jock has his eyes pointed skyward so as not to look at the wardrobe malfunction the zipper of his coat caused.
“For Pete’s sake.” Puck brushes past and drops to his knees to inspect the tear.
Rachel squeals and shimmies away to protect her near-naked hip from view, but Puck catches the small of her back and she freezes.
“Hummel, you got a sewing kit?” The pale soprano tosses it and Puck turns back to Rachel as he threads a needle and orders, “Stay still, I don’t want to stick you.”
Seconds later Rachel is straightening and stretching her leg to test the patched rip, held by a button. She grins and smiles at the handiwork, “Thank you Noah!”
“It won’t hold,” says Puck, tossing Kurt back his kit. “You’ll probably have to toss it when you get home, but it should keep until practice is over.” Kurt gives him a look and Puck growls, “What?”
Kurt cocks a brow. “I honestly don’t know if I should be more surprised by the fact that you actually know how to sew a button or by the fact that you actually told Rachel you didn’t want to stick her.”
The echoing laughter from that actually makes Rachel blush harder than the wardrobe malfunction.
21) Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
The first dance recital he goes to for her he punches somebody backstage.
“Noah!” she screeches and flies across the room to latch to his arm before he can reel back and swing again. “Stop! What are you doing?” She gestures to the suited man sprawled on the floor clutching his now-bloody nose, “This is Mr. Abrazi, he funds our studio and--”
“I don’t care who the fuck he is!”
Apparently a marathon showing of My Fair Lady had done nothing to prepare him for this night.
“He insulted your dancing,” Puck defends himself as she leads him way from the growing crowd and pushes him into an empty dressing room. “He said you move like a bloated whale!”
Rachel bites her lips. “Disheartening as that is, Noah, I simply cannot have you assault every single person who insults me.”
“He doesn’t think you can make it to Broadway!” Puck throws his hands up. “He fucking laughed when I said you were amazing up there.” He shakes his head and doesn’t understand why she’s suddenly beaming so brightly at him. “Did you hear me? He thinks you suck.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, Rachel says, “But you don’t.” She kisses the tip of his nose. “And, right now, that’s all I care about.”
22) Give a woman an orgasm so that she doesn’t have to ask for it.
She wakes with her legs tangled in the sheets and the beginnings of a blush coloring her cheeks.
When Puck sits next to her in Glee practice that afternoon and tosses an arm across the back of her seat, she shifts stiffly and tugs her skirt as she crosses her legs.
23) Be loyal.
Finn finds him five minutes before midnight sprawled out on the football field bathing in the moonlight. He ambles across the gridiron with his fists buried in his sweater and kicks the teen’s foot as it twitches a jerky greeting. “Hey man.” Finn folds his long legs underneath him and plops to the ground. “Rachel called me earlier, said you were missing. She’s worried.”
“Is she?”
“I think so.” Finn scratches the back of his head nervously. “Sounded like it, at least, but I can never tell with her when she starts in on one of her rants. I kind of had to give the phone to Kurt so he could translate for me. Most I could make out was that you were missing.”
Puck shrugs. “As you can see, I’m not missing.”
“I know that.” Finn nods sagely. “Rachel doesn’t though, so you should probably call her.”
Puck hums an acknowledgment and asks, suddenly, “We’re friends right?” He scrambles up to his forearms and catches Finn’s eyes. “I mean, I know I slept with your girlfriend last year and I messed around with Rachel when you guys were together, but, I mean… We’re good right?”
“Sure.” Finn blinks, stunned. “I mean, you’re like my brother. Why? What’s going on?” Finn’s eyes go impossibly wide. “Are you dying?” Before Puck can answer Finn’s eyes are already watering and he’s already launched himself into Puck’s arms. “Oh my God, you‘re dying! Do you need anything? I’m so sorry! We should get you to the hospital. Come on,” Finn’s pulling Puck to his feet. “It’s going to be all right, man, we’ll get you checked out and-”
“Cool your shit dude!” Puck pushes Finn back. “I’m not dying!”
Finn sniffles. “You’re not?”
“No! Fuck man!”
“Don’t be a dick,” Finn retaliates the shove. “I was worried for you.”
Puck shoves back. “Well don’t draw your own stupid conclusions, asshole.”
They shove back and forth a few more times before they fall to the gridiron again and Finn has to swipe his eyes with his sleeves before he can look up.
“Look we’re bros, right?” Finn nods. “And you tell me the truth, right?” Finn nods again and Puck sighs before he asks, weakly, “Do you think I’m a good person?”
And when Finn can only blink blankly at that Puck immediately freaks. He punches the ground repeatedly and doesn’t stop until his knuckles are red and dripping and Finn’s holding him back by the shoulders. “What the hell man?” asks Finn furiously. “Look fucktard, I don’t know who the hell you’ve been talking to lately but--”
“My father.”
“What?”
“Who I’ve been talking to?” Puck repeats monotonously, “My father.”
Finn freezes. “He’s in town?”
“He was in town,” amends Puck as he runs a hand through his mohawk. “Stopped by the house during dinner; probably wanted to see how the family was getting along without him.”
“What’d he say to you? “asks Finn. “Must’ve been something to get you this worked up.”
“Same shit he’d been saying since I was five-years-old.” Puck chuckles humorlessly as he recites, “I’m never going to amount to anything, I ruined his life, I’m a loser--”
“You’re not a loser,” Finn interrupts furiously, “You’re a good guy.”
Puck shrugs helplessly. “What if I’m not?”
“You are though,” says Finn determinedly. “You’re a good guy and one of the best friends I could ever ask for.”
“I’m sure you could ask for better,” says Puck miserably.
“Would you stop? Fuck man.” Finn punches his shoulder. “This is your father talking, not you. Why are you letting some asshole you’ve seen maybe, total, like three years out of your entire life get to you? Listen to me, man,” Finn takes Puck’s shoulders and twists him and catches his gaze. “I know you and I know you’re a good guy.” Finn shrugs. “Yeah, okay, you’ve done some horrible shit, but that doesn’t make you’re a bad guy, just makes you human. Okay?”
Puck nods, but he’s stone still and his eyes are glazed and, yeah, maybe some of it’s getting through, but not enough for Finn.
“Look at Glee!” Finn stumbles on, “Look at Kurt and Artie and Rachel and everybody ! You stick up for us and protect us and you actually care about us! And your mom and your sister? Look at them too man. You’d do anything for them. I’m telling you, nobody important in your life thinks you’re a bad guy.”
“No?” asks Puck, perking slightly.
“No,” says Finn, shaking his head and nudging him playfully as he adds, “Flawed, maybe, but we can’t all be perfect like me.”
Puck can only throw back his head and laugh as he launches himself at Finn and they wrestle until Puck just stops and just lays there and just has to toss his arm across as his eyes as Finn just sits there with him.