(no subject)
The Newest American Fad
A scene kid is a dolt with no sense of identity, if you ask me. "The scene," a group who tries to individualize themselves from the masses yet are just a bland replica of each other. They are a walking, talking paradox. You can usually spot these kids at places such as your local record store digging through hundreds of LPs to add to their overflowing record collection, fashion shops full of kids giving snide remarks, and dark, gloomy coffee houses. The Mecca of scenesters would have to be the undeniable music venue. Wearing their best garb, consisting of tight pants, a studded belt and a few too many hair products, they stand, listen and nod to bands no one has ever heard of or would ever think them worthy of a listen. They run in packs, ready to pounce at every chance they get. The distinction between genders is as blurred as a smudged pencil line. Boys look like girls and the girls look like boys. It's expectable. It's their niche.
And it is here where our story begins…
Heated debates, back lashing, and long boring speeches make up what we all know as election "season" version 2004. Let the verbal mauling begin! Here we have our three presidential candidates. All are vying for our votes and our attention, our undying love and tax money, George W. Bush, the loveable stuttering, Texan running for the Republican Party; John Kerry, the flip flopper, who is running for the Democratic Party and Joseph H. Stalfin running for the De Rigueur Party. Stalfin was an American born Russian with no real political stance but only one thing on his mind; to win this election. His appeal to democrats and liberals was overwhelming. Soon Kerry would lose all support from his fleet of hippies. That was Kerry's point of no return. He quickly resigned and went back to the ketchup factory. And then there were two.
And like the bubonic plague, and just as painful, the scenesters' wrath spread across the country and it was prime time for their liberal ideals to come to full force. All of today's youth underwent a metamorphosis of the scene variety, 100% of fifteen year olds to twenty-eight year olds were infected with this mind-crippling sickness. Stalfin realized how coincidental this all was and used these able bodies to spread his gospel of The New Liberalism. He knew it only took one of these carbon copies to implant with the idea of "Stalfinism" and the world would be his! It was cool to be liberal and Stalfin knew this would work to his advantage. With the skyrocketing numbers of dyed black hair mop heads, George W. Bush wouldn't stand a chance.
The day which would change the ideological makeup of the country finally arrived, Election Day. Tens of thousands of snotty nosed scene kids flooded the voting polls as if with every vote, you received a free studded belt. Stalfin had them in his mighty communist grip! He was beaming with joy, the victory was finally his. He couldn't have been so lucky. Some could say he was too lucky. This date will go down in infamy as "The day America went scene."
Flash forward three years and here we are under the red wave of liberalism that embodied Joseph H. Stalfin. We later learned that this so called "The New Liberalism" or "Stalfinism" was just a new and improved, carefully cultivated version of communism. What fools we were!
A lot has changed but, not much. We're still walking, talking clones of each other, just in a different costume with little hair dye added to the mix.