(no subject)
This was on a friend's Xanga. I think it's so hilarious and true that i'm going to put it here. Thanks man.
"So I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass
kicking contest. If you're not ready to read a long, rant-style post or you
don't like explicit content, feel free to get bent. That being said, I'll move
on to a few things that I've seen lately, that somehow piss me off/shouldn't
belong in the world/should be changed in the world. First off as I was walking
through Wal-Mart the other day--I should stop here and just go on about how much
bullshit Wal-Mart turns out constantly. Anyways, I spied upon the cover of a
Cosmo magazine the title of an article, where the gist was "Guys Secret
Language: Its Not So Secret Anymore!!!!!". As I gazed upon this cover of sheer
womanliness, I nearly vomited. Why is it so hard for women to believe that guys
always have an alternative meaning behind everything they say? Trust me, we
don't have some sort of secret talk that we only use around females. I mean
sure, there’s the usual body language, but that’s pretty evident and
self-explanatory. For example, lets say a friend is hitting on a girl that you
think is pretty revolting. He glances over at you and you promptly make a
grimacing face and stick your finger down your throat. Meaning: bitch is
disgusting, run away. If that's secret to the entire female gender...then I
believe that humanity has a problem. I always hear women bitching about how much
more complex they are then men. Here’s the thing. You're not complex. You're
overly emotional, conniving, materialistic, and generally bitchy. Now, I guess I
should stop here for a moment and take a moment to say that not all females are
this way and some of them are really cool and not bitches.
Moment over.
You're not complex, you're complicated. There's a difference, trust me.
While I'm at it, I should also hit up another subject of things that make women
complicated: materialism. I mean sure, we all like to have nice things, I can
relate to that and understand it. However, I don't get why even commercials are
pushing materialism and trying to sell it. Ever hear the commercial "Get them
nothing they need and everything they want"? Sure it’s okay to want things and
to get them. But when your spending fucking $22 on a THONG, you really need to
check yourself. I can hear it now: "BUT ITS CUTE!!!!11111111". So the word cute
is justification for spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that
99.9% of the general populous isn't going to EVER see? I mean, I'm sure nearly
all men don't go out looking for the perfect pair of boxers, spending over ten
times their value because of some brand name and because they look cute. I know
I've spent money on things that have little use, I'll admit it. But I'll be
damned if I've ever bought a pair of boxers that is over $10. Also, what is it
with jewelry and women? I got into an interesting argument (and I call it an
argument when it was more of a 10 second discussion that ended up with me
leaving my mom without a retort) about how spending vast amounts of money on
jewelry is pretty pointless. Though it is nice to have a few shiny rocks on your
hands, when your wearing over $1000 or so worth of jewelry, you're wasting
money. Is a chunk of carbon that's been sitting deep down in the Earth, under
thousands of tons of pressure really worth paying out the ass for? Hell, if you
MUST pay for jewelry with a gem in it, get a fucking CZ. It takes a jeweler with
about 20 years of experience to determine a correctly cut CZ stone from a real
diamond. If its the look you're after, the average dipshit walking along the
street starting at you're won't be able to tell
that you saved some money and did something smart. If you never thought women
were materialistic, here’s you're proof. I've heard of many a female freaking
out when she found out her diamond was a CZ instead. The monetary value of
you're jewelry shouldn't matter if it looks remotely decent. Stop being
materialistic and bitchy. Then work realizing that you're not complex and you're
life will be a hell of a lot easier.
Looks like that’s about all I'm
gonna type for now. Be on the look out for more
rants."
"So I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass
kicking contest. If you're not ready to read a long, rant-style post or you
don't like explicit content, feel free to get bent. That being said, I'll move
on to a few things that I've seen lately, that somehow piss me off/shouldn't
belong in the world/should be changed in the world. First off as I was walking
through Wal-Mart the other day--I should stop here and just go on about how much
bullshit Wal-Mart turns out constantly. Anyways, I spied upon the cover of a
Cosmo magazine the title of an article, where the gist was "Guys Secret
Language: Its Not So Secret Anymore!!!!!". As I gazed upon this cover of sheer
womanliness, I nearly vomited. Why is it so hard for women to believe that guys
always have an alternative meaning behind everything they say? Trust me, we
don't have some sort of secret talk that we only use around females. I mean
sure, there’s the usual body language, but that’s pretty evident and
self-explanatory. For example, lets say a friend is hitting on a girl that you
think is pretty revolting. He glances over at you and you promptly make a
grimacing face and stick your finger down your throat. Meaning: bitch is
disgusting, run away. If that's secret to the entire female gender...then I
believe that humanity has a problem. I always hear women bitching about how much
more complex they are then men. Here’s the thing. You're not complex. You're
overly emotional, conniving, materialistic, and generally bitchy. Now, I guess I
should stop here for a moment and take a moment to say that not all females are
this way and some of them are really cool and not bitches.
Moment over.
You're not complex, you're complicated. There's a difference, trust me.
While I'm at it, I should also hit up another subject of things that make women
complicated: materialism. I mean sure, we all like to have nice things, I can
relate to that and understand it. However, I don't get why even commercials are
pushing materialism and trying to sell it. Ever hear the commercial "Get them
nothing they need and everything they want"? Sure it’s okay to want things and
to get them. But when your spending fucking $22 on a THONG, you really need to
check yourself. I can hear it now: "BUT ITS CUTE!!!!11111111". So the word cute
is justification for spending a ridiculous amount of money on something that
99.9% of the general populous isn't going to EVER see? I mean, I'm sure nearly
all men don't go out looking for the perfect pair of boxers, spending over ten
times their value because of some brand name and because they look cute. I know
I've spent money on things that have little use, I'll admit it. But I'll be
damned if I've ever bought a pair of boxers that is over $10. Also, what is it
with jewelry and women? I got into an interesting argument (and I call it an
argument when it was more of a 10 second discussion that ended up with me
leaving my mom without a retort) about how spending vast amounts of money on
jewelry is pretty pointless. Though it is nice to have a few shiny rocks on your
hands, when your wearing over $1000 or so worth of jewelry, you're wasting
money. Is a chunk of carbon that's been sitting deep down in the Earth, under
thousands of tons of pressure really worth paying out the ass for? Hell, if you
MUST pay for jewelry with a gem in it, get a fucking CZ. It takes a jeweler with
about 20 years of experience to determine a correctly cut CZ stone from a real
diamond. If its the look you're after, the average dipshit walking along the
street starting at you're won't be able to tell
that you saved some money and did something smart. If you never thought women
were materialistic, here’s you're proof. I've heard of many a female freaking
out when she found out her diamond was a CZ instead. The monetary value of
you're jewelry shouldn't matter if it looks remotely decent. Stop being
materialistic and bitchy. Then work realizing that you're not complex and you're
life will be a hell of a lot easier.
Looks like that’s about all I'm
gonna type for now. Be on the look out for more
rants."