random thoughts
I have always lived by the motto that it’s better to live for one day in pure adrenaline than spend a whole life in meritocracy. I was the kid who jumped first, who tried it first, whom at 12 yrs old turned a sleep over into a “lets see who can cut themselves with a razor” first. I have always pushed the envelope, whether it be my relationships, my friendships, or as I noted today driving down the Hudson observing the velocity with which every tree, person, dog, pigeon, and judgments passed by..my view of things. The common people came to mind. We all encounter them. We acknowledge them as much as we acknowledge our dish washer, a little more significant than the rest of its parts, but fulfilling a purpose we have learned to disassociate ourselves with. The girl behind the glass window whom ecstatically takes our money and replaces it with a movie theater, who is she? Most people I know wouldn’t take that kind of job if it was donned upon them. Who are her friends? I could never live down the thought of filling her shoes. I have in no sense of the word been pampered with breakfast at tiffany’s and dinners are mirage, but I, or should I say, most people I know would never start a bbq at a public park next to a highway, or have “with out without fries” naturally roll off your tongues. All of us at one point or another claim not to “care what others think.” Sure it gives us a sense of inner strength and self entitlement, but would you be the person who asks me what kind of carbs I’d like at subway? Don’t take me wrong, I take my hat off to those people. I just don’t understand them. It’s much more than stature, or class, it’s about individualism. What makes some of us strive for Gucci while we can’t even afford gap, while others can't tell the difference?. Although necessity plays a great role in what we are willing to accept as opposed to what we are striving for, there’s a fine line that separates us from them..a line that doesn’t differentiate btw good or bad, because while they have the advantage of being unfazed by societal standards, we strive to fulfill our highest potentials. Sure I’d love to have it in me to wash cars for a living. I’d probably have gotten by with much more dignity and ..money? but I’m not built like that. I have always relished the thought of working long hours in a financial firm and having no time for my friends and family, because that would mean that I’d fabricated some sort of standard that validates my hard work. The functionalists would argue that “these” people serve a purpose in the grand scheme of things. That they not only fulfill jobs most aren’t willing to take, but they they push us further towards our goals as constant reminders of how we can end up if we keep on hitting the snooze button at the crack of dawn. On the other hand, I will always look at that girl behind the counter of that movie theater for longer than expected...and without merit or validation wish I could’ had been that free…