(no subject)
That was a difficult day.
First I went for my OCD therapy. My psychologist had been to supervision about me, and she has changed her approach somewhat as a result. I found this really upsetting and frustrating, as the way she had been previously had been really helping me, and I was making good progress. I don't know - I need to think about it when I am feeling calmer: maybe this new approach is better really but I just need to get used to it. But it was a shock, and really threw me and I didn't get much useful work done in the session because of feeling so upset.
The other thing is that I'm so aware of the time ticking away - the sessions are only 50 or 55 minutes long and I will probably only get 10 of them in total. I thought this was the fifth one but she said it was the sixth - which made me panic more. I hope it's me who's got it right.
Well, then I went to work. I went out with my supportee to practise this new route she is learning. There is one rather busy road she has to cross, and today it was raining and was even busier than usual. We were waiting there for ages as the cars kept coming past. Then suddenly, totally unexpectedly and uncharacteristically, she set off across the road when a car was coming. This took me so much by surprise that I didn't have time to hold her back or tell her to stop. Luckily the car stopped for her and no damage was done, but it was a very scary near miss. And the trouble is, I still don't understand why it happened. She is normally so careful about listening out for traffic that she won't start to cross even when she can hear a car way off in the distance. Her hearing is excellent.
Of course, she was very worried about this occurrence, and kept asking about it all day, and I didn't know what to say after a while. I said that next time we do the route that she shouldn't start crossing until she's checked with me that it's clear. But the idea is that she will eventually walk this route on her own... I don't know. I wrote it all up as a near-miss in the accident book, and will discuss it with my boss when she returns from her holiday, and also later on with the mobility trainer.
I feel so guilty that I didn't stop her crossing. But I really didn't expect her to. And I wish I could understand why she crossed. I tried to find out from her, but I don't think she really knows herself, and she was feeling guilty about having crossed (though of course I told her she hadn't done anything wrong - I was just concerned for her safety).
Then we went to her evening class and got a taxi back. I have to dash off to catch my bus home once I've dropped the stuff off, but today the taxi driver didn't have any change. I wasn't really up to more complications and perhaps became somewhat inflexible - he was saying I could owe it to him till next time, but when dealing with work money I like everything to be really straightforward, and the receipt has to tally with the cash in the tin and so forth, so I said I couldn't do that. I asked in the main house if they had any change, but they were really unhelpful. In the end the driver radioed a colleague who had change to come over, and he gave me a free lift to the bus stop, so I didn't miss my bus.
And now I'm back home and I've got a minty chickpea pie in the oven and I'm just so relieved this horrible day is over.
I'm also really run down still from this endless cold. Not coughing much now, but still feel weak.
First I went for my OCD therapy. My psychologist had been to supervision about me, and she has changed her approach somewhat as a result. I found this really upsetting and frustrating, as the way she had been previously had been really helping me, and I was making good progress. I don't know - I need to think about it when I am feeling calmer: maybe this new approach is better really but I just need to get used to it. But it was a shock, and really threw me and I didn't get much useful work done in the session because of feeling so upset.
The other thing is that I'm so aware of the time ticking away - the sessions are only 50 or 55 minutes long and I will probably only get 10 of them in total. I thought this was the fifth one but she said it was the sixth - which made me panic more. I hope it's me who's got it right.
Well, then I went to work. I went out with my supportee to practise this new route she is learning. There is one rather busy road she has to cross, and today it was raining and was even busier than usual. We were waiting there for ages as the cars kept coming past. Then suddenly, totally unexpectedly and uncharacteristically, she set off across the road when a car was coming. This took me so much by surprise that I didn't have time to hold her back or tell her to stop. Luckily the car stopped for her and no damage was done, but it was a very scary near miss. And the trouble is, I still don't understand why it happened. She is normally so careful about listening out for traffic that she won't start to cross even when she can hear a car way off in the distance. Her hearing is excellent.
Of course, she was very worried about this occurrence, and kept asking about it all day, and I didn't know what to say after a while. I said that next time we do the route that she shouldn't start crossing until she's checked with me that it's clear. But the idea is that she will eventually walk this route on her own... I don't know. I wrote it all up as a near-miss in the accident book, and will discuss it with my boss when she returns from her holiday, and also later on with the mobility trainer.
I feel so guilty that I didn't stop her crossing. But I really didn't expect her to. And I wish I could understand why she crossed. I tried to find out from her, but I don't think she really knows herself, and she was feeling guilty about having crossed (though of course I told her she hadn't done anything wrong - I was just concerned for her safety).
Then we went to her evening class and got a taxi back. I have to dash off to catch my bus home once I've dropped the stuff off, but today the taxi driver didn't have any change. I wasn't really up to more complications and perhaps became somewhat inflexible - he was saying I could owe it to him till next time, but when dealing with work money I like everything to be really straightforward, and the receipt has to tally with the cash in the tin and so forth, so I said I couldn't do that. I asked in the main house if they had any change, but they were really unhelpful. In the end the driver radioed a colleague who had change to come over, and he gave me a free lift to the bus stop, so I didn't miss my bus.
And now I'm back home and I've got a minty chickpea pie in the oven and I'm just so relieved this horrible day is over.
I'm also really run down still from this endless cold. Not coughing much now, but still feel weak.