Saved
So I had a dream last night, a crazy ass dream, but fun at the same time.
I was driving along in my truck with my cousin and his brother deep in the woods somewhere, when for some reason I am too occupied to control the steering wheel. We hit the side of a ditch, and bounce upward towards a tree. To avoid the tree I drive back toward the road, but now there are cars there, so I swerve up a hill, over a fence, back down the hill, and come to rest beside the road in a mound of pinestraw... in front of two cops. There lights are flashing, and I'm thinking "oh shit" so I get out of the truck, and the damn thing keeps wanting to move. So I tell my cousin to push on the brake pedal.
The cops, it turns out, were there to stop some other guy... and missed me driving like a maniac through the forest. They leave... and I look around to see a group of people around a fence. The same fence I just drove over. Well, I'm a decent enough fellow, so I walk towards them and tell them I'm sorry. I try to explain what happened, and how it wasn't really my fault. Only little things wrong with my truck, and somehow they all came together at once to form something huge. In all of this, I was making my way towards their church. It was their churche's property that I had ran over. Now, I started to recognize this church. In my crazy mixed up mind, this dreamworld church was a place I had been to before. The over laquered wood, the stained glass windows that didn't form shapes, the blood red carpet that lined the floors. I associated it with an ex-girlfriend's church. A Holiness church. I knew I was getting into something now, and they had all surrounded me.
"I'm not an unreasonable man. I will own up to what I have done, just tell me how much it would cost to fix it"
One of the older ladies in the back chose to be their spokesperson and said "I reckon about 2500" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, maybe I heard her wrong.
"How much?"
"2500"
"If that 5 foot of fence cost 2500, then you're whole fence is worth millions, you shoulda spent that on your church!" That was the wrong thing to save. They went into an uproar, how I could disrespect their religion like that, who do I think i am?, and all sorts of confounded redneck phrases were hurled at me. An old man came out of the crowd and asked "well young gentleman, I just hope you have found the lord Jesus to help you through this time"
"As a matter of fact I have!" I yelled, and the crowd shut up and looked at me. "In these very walls, when I was 13 I was saved(lie) by your congregation here. I used to come here(read: 1 time) with my ex-girlfriend (enter name here)!!" Well this tugged at their souls! Any man that was saved in the very walls of this church could not have meant harm to it. This guy, this unfortunate traveler, just had a streak of bad luck they thought. They had to talk together about this. They huddled up near a baptism pool that had not seen use for years, rust stains somehow it seemed had crept around the thing. A sickening light blue paint job was peeling off the sides.
They came back with a rather large stick. "Tar and feather him boys!" What? DAMN these people are fucked up. The grandma came out of the crowd pointed a singleshot musket at me. Two older guys did the same, and started walking me out into a meadow of dead grass, sloaping downward toward a fence covered in barbwire. These people did not want people leaving that church! I had saw my chance though, I was walking with the more reasonable man of the place, or so I began thinking. The guns were only single shot muskets, they would have to spend a minute reloading the thing. I looked up in the sky, pointed and yelled.
"DAMN! That buzzard would make fine good eatin on" and I grabbed the gun when he pointed it up in the air to shoot the bird, pulled the trigger, and shot. I began to run like I could never do in real life, and sort of skipped and hopped over the tufts of grass, down the sloap. The other guy did not want to fire his gun, but that old crazy bitch sure as hell would. She pulled up the long barrel of that thing, and let off a round. Luckily she was too old to do any good with it. I made it to the fence, stretched my arms over the barbwire with my back pressed against it, and flipped my legs over my head to do a sort of rolling back flip over it. Like I said, Crazy shit I could never do in real life.
I had gotten away. Nevermind my truck is still back there. Never mind my two cousins were still back there in it. Let them figure out how to not be tarred and feathered by the crazy mountain folk. I got away.
While I was running i fell waist deep in a mound of ants that seemed to have a home that stretched for 50 feet or more. WAISTE deep. It was that time my mind agreed with me that this was fucked up, said "fuck it" and I woke up.
That was it. I woke up and had to write this dream down before I forgot it. It was alot cooler when I had first woke up lol.
I guess giving up TV has already taken its toll on me. Wait... I havn't told anyone about the giving up tv thing yet? Well, I"ll leave that for a post later. For right now, I'm going to go look at some dogs I may buy. I'll bring pictures.
I was driving along in my truck with my cousin and his brother deep in the woods somewhere, when for some reason I am too occupied to control the steering wheel. We hit the side of a ditch, and bounce upward towards a tree. To avoid the tree I drive back toward the road, but now there are cars there, so I swerve up a hill, over a fence, back down the hill, and come to rest beside the road in a mound of pinestraw... in front of two cops. There lights are flashing, and I'm thinking "oh shit" so I get out of the truck, and the damn thing keeps wanting to move. So I tell my cousin to push on the brake pedal.
The cops, it turns out, were there to stop some other guy... and missed me driving like a maniac through the forest. They leave... and I look around to see a group of people around a fence. The same fence I just drove over. Well, I'm a decent enough fellow, so I walk towards them and tell them I'm sorry. I try to explain what happened, and how it wasn't really my fault. Only little things wrong with my truck, and somehow they all came together at once to form something huge. In all of this, I was making my way towards their church. It was their churche's property that I had ran over. Now, I started to recognize this church. In my crazy mixed up mind, this dreamworld church was a place I had been to before. The over laquered wood, the stained glass windows that didn't form shapes, the blood red carpet that lined the floors. I associated it with an ex-girlfriend's church. A Holiness church. I knew I was getting into something now, and they had all surrounded me.
"I'm not an unreasonable man. I will own up to what I have done, just tell me how much it would cost to fix it"
One of the older ladies in the back chose to be their spokesperson and said "I reckon about 2500" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, maybe I heard her wrong.
"How much?"
"2500"
"If that 5 foot of fence cost 2500, then you're whole fence is worth millions, you shoulda spent that on your church!" That was the wrong thing to save. They went into an uproar, how I could disrespect their religion like that, who do I think i am?, and all sorts of confounded redneck phrases were hurled at me. An old man came out of the crowd and asked "well young gentleman, I just hope you have found the lord Jesus to help you through this time"
"As a matter of fact I have!" I yelled, and the crowd shut up and looked at me. "In these very walls, when I was 13 I was saved(lie) by your congregation here. I used to come here(read: 1 time) with my ex-girlfriend (enter name here)!!" Well this tugged at their souls! Any man that was saved in the very walls of this church could not have meant harm to it. This guy, this unfortunate traveler, just had a streak of bad luck they thought. They had to talk together about this. They huddled up near a baptism pool that had not seen use for years, rust stains somehow it seemed had crept around the thing. A sickening light blue paint job was peeling off the sides.
They came back with a rather large stick. "Tar and feather him boys!" What? DAMN these people are fucked up. The grandma came out of the crowd pointed a singleshot musket at me. Two older guys did the same, and started walking me out into a meadow of dead grass, sloaping downward toward a fence covered in barbwire. These people did not want people leaving that church! I had saw my chance though, I was walking with the more reasonable man of the place, or so I began thinking. The guns were only single shot muskets, they would have to spend a minute reloading the thing. I looked up in the sky, pointed and yelled.
"DAMN! That buzzard would make fine good eatin on" and I grabbed the gun when he pointed it up in the air to shoot the bird, pulled the trigger, and shot. I began to run like I could never do in real life, and sort of skipped and hopped over the tufts of grass, down the sloap. The other guy did not want to fire his gun, but that old crazy bitch sure as hell would. She pulled up the long barrel of that thing, and let off a round. Luckily she was too old to do any good with it. I made it to the fence, stretched my arms over the barbwire with my back pressed against it, and flipped my legs over my head to do a sort of rolling back flip over it. Like I said, Crazy shit I could never do in real life.
I had gotten away. Nevermind my truck is still back there. Never mind my two cousins were still back there in it. Let them figure out how to not be tarred and feathered by the crazy mountain folk. I got away.
While I was running i fell waist deep in a mound of ants that seemed to have a home that stretched for 50 feet or more. WAISTE deep. It was that time my mind agreed with me that this was fucked up, said "fuck it" and I woke up.
That was it. I woke up and had to write this dream down before I forgot it. It was alot cooler when I had first woke up lol.
I guess giving up TV has already taken its toll on me. Wait... I havn't told anyone about the giving up tv thing yet? Well, I"ll leave that for a post later. For right now, I'm going to go look at some dogs I may buy. I'll bring pictures.