Somethings wrong

[skylineburning]

I don't paint... craft, or even pursue a single thing that I want.

I think I'm depressed but I don't feel sad.
And I'm about to be a mom, which really makes me happy (now)
but i still feel like I've turned into someone that my 17 yearold self would have punched in the face.

I think I just figured it out.
Why was I happier when I was a struggling

Comments

[way_parasitical]

because there were still so many possibilities

things in your life have an aspect of permanence now-- you are married, you are soon to become a mother... it's starting to become clear where your life is taking you. doors are closing, things are changing.

that's what i think

and i think the key to finding happiness again is discovering all the amazing possibilities within the permanence. and i have a feeling that when you have that baby (when are you due, btw??) it'll become clear exactly what i mean. a little person, and you will be the most important thing in her life. and you will see infinite possibilities in her, and you will be able to try to give her those things that you wish you had.

as for your past self hating your present self, i think lots of people feel that way-- i know i do. but i think when you fit all the pieces together and take a look at the big picture, the progression makes sense. we all grow and change. this is a new chapter in your life which means that there are some new challenges waiting to be worked out.

you can do it (duh) but yeah, try to nuture your creativity, but at the same time don't force it. just go with the flowwww

there're my two cents of worldly advise. obviously i know very very very little about marriage and motherhood and blah blah blah

but

yeah

feel better