CSI: Miami
Dude, this show gets funnier and funnier with each ep. Granted, I missed the first forty minutes of the ep. And I've never actually been to Miami. But still. >_>
1. It's not a ep unless you see an alligator. Because, apparently, everyone would forget that it's Miami unless the alligator somehow made an appearance.
2. Apparently Miami is all Cosmopolitan meets Okefenokee Swamp. In this episode, they made the two meet! OMG! It's a bizarre, bizarre world the writers have Miami pegged in. They have to reference the rich and famous and then they have to get a reference to Unca Skeet who eats Possum he's scraped off the road. I'm sorry, the whole Moonshine thing killed me.
3. The Air boat chase through the swamp. X_x;; Um. Air boat. Chase. And then the guy jumps into the burning fire. Okaaaaaay. Someone needs to tell these people that they are Crime Scene Investegators, not James Bond.
4. The blatant Southerness. Forget that Southerness isn't really a word. It's just that I really don't consider Florida part of "the South". Callie talks and I laugh because she sounds funny. People from Georgia are southern. People from Alabama and Arkansas are southern. People from Florida were born somewhere else and have since migrated south. Thus, they really aren't southern.
5. That Kendrick dude? Craziest dumb criminal ever. He has all these mad skillz when it comes to eluding capture. He does all this batshit crazy smart stuff in order to get passcodes and he...runs out into the swamp to make a mad get away on an air boat? I seriously must have missed something. (And did he not clean out all the money from his cell neighbor? A smart criminal would have gotten the hell out of Miami, not tried to commit more robberies while still on the run from the police who are right on his tail.) Because that wasn't crazy smart, that was just dumb. And who trusts a guy who has gone to jail with passcodes to all your valuables anyway? Did none of these people think to maybe change their codes once he landed in the pen? Damn, I really must have missed something in those first forty minutes that made that finale make sense.
6. The guy who pulled the machete out of himself? Ew. Eeeeeewwwwww!! Dumbass. When Horatio says don't pull it out because you'll bleed to death. Don't pull it out, because you'll bleed to death. Poor dumb idiot.
7. Horatio's explanation to whatsherface to try and get Ray Jr. tested to see if he's a donor match for Madison? Okay, call me crazy, but in trying to get the kid's mother to agree to get him tested, I would not have started off with "Hey, by the way, your hubby cheated on you and that kid you think is mine is actually his illegitmate love child. Too bad, eh?".