Ask and ye shall receive...
Before I get into the dirt of Twilight the movie, I'll relay that I just spent twenty minutes discussing my Byron project with someone at work. It was...awkward. Not because I don't love chatting intellectually about themes and what I hope to accomplish in my book, but because it still feels like such a secret. It felt blasphemous talking in broad daylight over cubicle walls within earshot of everyone about it. I have never ever felt so protective of a work before. Even if I despair at its myriad of issues, there's no doubt in my mind that the tentatively titled "Nightmare at Newstead Abbey" has something powerful locked in its pages.
Seriously, I have chills.
You already know how I feel about Bella and Edward. Let's do a rundown of the rest of the cast:
Jacob: The wig is seriously distracting. As was Maggie constantly sniggering "Sharkboy!" in my ear whenever he popped up on screen. He only had three or four scenes so it was tough to tell if he was fine or not. For little JaCub, he's fine. Kind of sweet and awkward in that 15 year old way described in the books. Whether he had any chemistry with Stewart...eh... Not really a stellar actor, but really, he didn't have enough to do in this film to really push it either way.
Billy Black: ugh...stop trying to make "parents who awkwardly try to be hip to comedic effect" happen, Hollywood. Ugh... It's even more annoying to watch on screen than it must be for the actors and that's not at ALL how Billy is in the books. He's got majesty. In the movie, he's a fucking loser in a wheelchair. Tip him over, Bella. Tip him over.
Charlie: I got into a debate with Jacey about the casting of this one last week. She thinks Billy Burke is too young and strapping to play Charile. I countered that Bella was born right after her parents left high school, so Charlie should be mid to late 30's. As for the strapping argument, Burke does an excellent job of crafting a guy who is likable but dull. Which, essentially, is all the dimension Meyer bothered to give to Charlie. Burke gives him more heart and realism and dignity (despite his lameassery) than Meyer did. He's enjoyable to watch when he's on screen.
The Forks Posse: Mike, Jessica and Angela were *perfectly* cast. Jessica was fabulously obnoxious, and Mike terribly hokey. They combined nerdy Eric and Angela's future Asian boyfriend Ben into one character who was pleasantly annoying. I say that because you want these kids (with the exception of Angela) to be annoying. It helps push Bella away from Forks and into Cullenland. Tyler...eh...okay enough.
I really liked the Forks Posse, but felt too much attention was given to them in lieu of the Cullens. I think each of those kids got more lines than Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle combined.
And thus, we get to the crux of the film-making dilemma with Twilight: what the fuck kind of tone was Hardwicke going for? It started off feeling like it wanted to be firmly grounded in reality, but everything about the Cullens and the vampire world is deliciously fake. The speed effects and tree wire work are awful. It's like the effects supervisor had only ever seen Charmed. Not even Doctor Who or Heroes or Lost. Just CW shows. And certainly not any other action films. Ever. Alice, Carlisle and Rosalie's hair does look better on screen. That said, Jasper's wig/dye job/dead animal on top is atrocious. Oh, and the sparkle effect... I wish they hadn't even bothered. It was ridonkulous. Killed any romanticism of the Meadow scene (which is a mountain/forest/grass scene in the flick) Even the cinematography and light design signalled Hardwicke's dilemma. Her camera angles focus on the intimate things, sharply cutting about, but the colors are so saturated in blue and grey and green that everything looks...fuzzy...
Even I don't know what the tone should have been. I quite liked the idea of basing the film in reality. The first twenty minutes or so are just a girl's story of moving to a new town and trying to fit in. And yet, as I posted before, the baseball scene, which is just completely, unadulterated, Muse-soundtracked, SFX fun, is my favorite part of the film. The moment that Hardwicke finally took the reigns of reality off the story was when I finally found it emotionally soar. I mean this in that I was having as much fun as the Cullens. It's also the only time I looked at all the Cullen actors and how they communicated their characters physically and thought, "omg, it's the Cullens!" Alice's dainty pitch, Rosalie's tenacity to score, Emmett's playful competitiveness, Carlisle's ability to play Edward and Emmett's immaturity to his advantage, Esme's role at Home Plate, and Jasper's finesse with the bat...all indicative of their characters' personalities. And Bella is umpire. The person watching all of them closely, but removed from their play. It's quite brilliant, really.
Oh, I didn't go over the Cullens yet, did I?
Well, you know how I feel about the hair now. But besides that one scene--the baseball scene--there wasn't much to see. The story zipped really fast in the last act. You go from Bella leaving Edward in Forks to Bella with Jasper & Alice in the hotel. Very little dialogue. And where I can see that they were worried that too much talking might halt the adrenaline that starts once the nomads zero in on Bella, these are the moments in which Bella gets a larger picture of what it means to be a vampire. She learns to connect with the family, particularly Alice, more. It's all a bit like the Prisoner of Azkaban film where they omit the MWPP backstory in lieu of pacing, and even though you can argue that the plot is okay without the backstory, something vital is missing. Audiences of the books and newbies alike feel unsatisfied. I'm not saying Alice & Bella's friendship is as vital to the plot of Twilight as the MWPP backstory is to PoA, but there's that similar sense of sacrifice in the name of plotting.
But I dither...
You will laugh when the Cullen kids enter. Because the rest of the film seems grounded in realism up to this point, this grand entrance is bizarre.
Rosalie: Besides Robert Pattinson's Edward, Nikki Reed's Rosalie fairs the best in the book to movie adaptation. She even gets an extra scene to further communicate her distaste of Bella. The glare Reed gives Stewart when Bella declares Rosalie out is fab.
Carlisle: Not nearly as excruciating to watch as I thought Facinelli would be. He does a good job of transmitting that icy warmth Carlisle should have--you know that complete and utter compassion mixed with the alien coldness that is the Cullen way. He's poised and commanding in a non-aggressive way. Not the Carlisle I imagined, but he fills the role aptly.
Esme: Is there a reason Hollywood wants to shit on Elizabeth Reaser? She plays the psycho girl on Grey's Anatomy, her sitcom was just cancelled, and she's cast in one of the biggest films of the year in a role with two or three lines. Like the book, Esme is a fleeting phantom of sweetness. Not really necessary to the plot but a garnish to the Cullen mythos. Elizabeth Reaser did a good job conveying this but I almost wish they had hired a lower-tiered actress simply because she could be spending her time auditioning for a role that will actually give her something to work with.
Emmett: Okay. You win, Kellan Lutz. I always found Emmett to be sweet, but dumb and boring in the book. Not my fav. But Kellan Lutz as Emmett=ftw. Sweet, a tad bit dumb, but not boring. He brings much needed levity to the Cullen clan.
Alice: Ashley Greene is gorgeous. Oh, how I wished I looked like her (or Rachelle Lefevre). Her elfin nose just screams cutesy. She did a decent job. Like I said, the baseball scene was the only real scene where the Cullen actors really seemed to fully inhabit the roles from the books, and it was no different here. The flair she gave her foot as she wound up on those pitches was classic Alice. I guess I was hoping for more, though. See, Alice is the role as an actress that I'd want in Twilight, and from conversations I've had with friends, this isn't just me. Her character is so *there* on the page. It leaps up--she's a living sprite. For some reason, Hardwicke decided the best way to convey this was to have Alice enter through a window from a tree. It felt...weird. And not in a quirky, Alice way. In a "we're trying really hard to be quirky and cute" way. And twirling through the cafeteria? uh...
Jasper: Guh... In the books, he is my hot, hot sex. My lanky, rakish, tortured, Confederate soldier. On screen, as Katie said in regard to one of the movie stills, he looks like he belongs in a movie called "dur..". Extremely miscast. Jackson Rathbone is a cutey, but he is a dark-haired, short cutie. Again, the baseball scene was the only time I saw any hint of the Jasper from the book. And that was only a hint.
Okay...what am I missing?
The nomads... Cam Gigandet will explode after this film. Why? Because he had a fucking good time playing a psychopathic killer and he looks ten times hotter in real life. If they wanted to give Hawkeye a cameo in the next Iron Man or Avengers, I would not argue against Gigandet as Clint Barton. His power is in his physical presence on screen. Rachelle Lefevre is *gorgeous* as Victoria. I kind wish she were a teensy bit more crazy though. You know what I mean? Not just coyly vicious, but psychotically batshit insane. But perhaps that will come in Eclipse. Edi Gathegi as Laurent. Um...why his he dressed like an extra from Marie Antoinette? James and Victoria stole their clothes from one of their prey, so was the last person Laurent dined on the dude holding the tray of champagne glasses in The Duchess?
Um...what else?
Dialogue--what was kept:
-the abysmal "Of three things I was certain" monologue...
-lion and lamb (which was not nearly as hot or romantic as in the book)
-heroin line (sans explanation)
If there is anything else you'd like to know, drop me a line. I've decided not to friends lock this in case anyone wants to link a friend back to this who isn't on LJ but wants a Twilight film review. I can repost my thoughts on Bella & Edward from last night if you so desire.
Seriously, I have chills.
You already know how I feel about Bella and Edward. Let's do a rundown of the rest of the cast:
Jacob: The wig is seriously distracting. As was Maggie constantly sniggering "Sharkboy!" in my ear whenever he popped up on screen. He only had three or four scenes so it was tough to tell if he was fine or not. For little JaCub, he's fine. Kind of sweet and awkward in that 15 year old way described in the books. Whether he had any chemistry with Stewart...eh... Not really a stellar actor, but really, he didn't have enough to do in this film to really push it either way.
Billy Black: ugh...stop trying to make "parents who awkwardly try to be hip to comedic effect" happen, Hollywood. Ugh... It's even more annoying to watch on screen than it must be for the actors and that's not at ALL how Billy is in the books. He's got majesty. In the movie, he's a fucking loser in a wheelchair. Tip him over, Bella. Tip him over.
Charlie: I got into a debate with Jacey about the casting of this one last week. She thinks Billy Burke is too young and strapping to play Charile. I countered that Bella was born right after her parents left high school, so Charlie should be mid to late 30's. As for the strapping argument, Burke does an excellent job of crafting a guy who is likable but dull. Which, essentially, is all the dimension Meyer bothered to give to Charlie. Burke gives him more heart and realism and dignity (despite his lameassery) than Meyer did. He's enjoyable to watch when he's on screen.
The Forks Posse: Mike, Jessica and Angela were *perfectly* cast. Jessica was fabulously obnoxious, and Mike terribly hokey. They combined nerdy Eric and Angela's future Asian boyfriend Ben into one character who was pleasantly annoying. I say that because you want these kids (with the exception of Angela) to be annoying. It helps push Bella away from Forks and into Cullenland. Tyler...eh...okay enough.
I really liked the Forks Posse, but felt too much attention was given to them in lieu of the Cullens. I think each of those kids got more lines than Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle combined.
And thus, we get to the crux of the film-making dilemma with Twilight: what the fuck kind of tone was Hardwicke going for? It started off feeling like it wanted to be firmly grounded in reality, but everything about the Cullens and the vampire world is deliciously fake. The speed effects and tree wire work are awful. It's like the effects supervisor had only ever seen Charmed. Not even Doctor Who or Heroes or Lost. Just CW shows. And certainly not any other action films. Ever. Alice, Carlisle and Rosalie's hair does look better on screen. That said, Jasper's wig/dye job/dead animal on top is atrocious. Oh, and the sparkle effect... I wish they hadn't even bothered. It was ridonkulous. Killed any romanticism of the Meadow scene (which is a mountain/forest/grass scene in the flick) Even the cinematography and light design signalled Hardwicke's dilemma. Her camera angles focus on the intimate things, sharply cutting about, but the colors are so saturated in blue and grey and green that everything looks...fuzzy...
Even I don't know what the tone should have been. I quite liked the idea of basing the film in reality. The first twenty minutes or so are just a girl's story of moving to a new town and trying to fit in. And yet, as I posted before, the baseball scene, which is just completely, unadulterated, Muse-soundtracked, SFX fun, is my favorite part of the film. The moment that Hardwicke finally took the reigns of reality off the story was when I finally found it emotionally soar. I mean this in that I was having as much fun as the Cullens. It's also the only time I looked at all the Cullen actors and how they communicated their characters physically and thought, "omg, it's the Cullens!" Alice's dainty pitch, Rosalie's tenacity to score, Emmett's playful competitiveness, Carlisle's ability to play Edward and Emmett's immaturity to his advantage, Esme's role at Home Plate, and Jasper's finesse with the bat...all indicative of their characters' personalities. And Bella is umpire. The person watching all of them closely, but removed from their play. It's quite brilliant, really.
Oh, I didn't go over the Cullens yet, did I?
Well, you know how I feel about the hair now. But besides that one scene--the baseball scene--there wasn't much to see. The story zipped really fast in the last act. You go from Bella leaving Edward in Forks to Bella with Jasper & Alice in the hotel. Very little dialogue. And where I can see that they were worried that too much talking might halt the adrenaline that starts once the nomads zero in on Bella, these are the moments in which Bella gets a larger picture of what it means to be a vampire. She learns to connect with the family, particularly Alice, more. It's all a bit like the Prisoner of Azkaban film where they omit the MWPP backstory in lieu of pacing, and even though you can argue that the plot is okay without the backstory, something vital is missing. Audiences of the books and newbies alike feel unsatisfied. I'm not saying Alice & Bella's friendship is as vital to the plot of Twilight as the MWPP backstory is to PoA, but there's that similar sense of sacrifice in the name of plotting.
But I dither...
You will laugh when the Cullen kids enter. Because the rest of the film seems grounded in realism up to this point, this grand entrance is bizarre.
Rosalie: Besides Robert Pattinson's Edward, Nikki Reed's Rosalie fairs the best in the book to movie adaptation. She even gets an extra scene to further communicate her distaste of Bella. The glare Reed gives Stewart when Bella declares Rosalie out is fab.
Carlisle: Not nearly as excruciating to watch as I thought Facinelli would be. He does a good job of transmitting that icy warmth Carlisle should have--you know that complete and utter compassion mixed with the alien coldness that is the Cullen way. He's poised and commanding in a non-aggressive way. Not the Carlisle I imagined, but he fills the role aptly.
Esme: Is there a reason Hollywood wants to shit on Elizabeth Reaser? She plays the psycho girl on Grey's Anatomy, her sitcom was just cancelled, and she's cast in one of the biggest films of the year in a role with two or three lines. Like the book, Esme is a fleeting phantom of sweetness. Not really necessary to the plot but a garnish to the Cullen mythos. Elizabeth Reaser did a good job conveying this but I almost wish they had hired a lower-tiered actress simply because she could be spending her time auditioning for a role that will actually give her something to work with.
Emmett: Okay. You win, Kellan Lutz. I always found Emmett to be sweet, but dumb and boring in the book. Not my fav. But Kellan Lutz as Emmett=ftw. Sweet, a tad bit dumb, but not boring. He brings much needed levity to the Cullen clan.
Alice: Ashley Greene is gorgeous. Oh, how I wished I looked like her (or Rachelle Lefevre). Her elfin nose just screams cutesy. She did a decent job. Like I said, the baseball scene was the only real scene where the Cullen actors really seemed to fully inhabit the roles from the books, and it was no different here. The flair she gave her foot as she wound up on those pitches was classic Alice. I guess I was hoping for more, though. See, Alice is the role as an actress that I'd want in Twilight, and from conversations I've had with friends, this isn't just me. Her character is so *there* on the page. It leaps up--she's a living sprite. For some reason, Hardwicke decided the best way to convey this was to have Alice enter through a window from a tree. It felt...weird. And not in a quirky, Alice way. In a "we're trying really hard to be quirky and cute" way. And twirling through the cafeteria? uh...
Jasper: Guh... In the books, he is my hot, hot sex. My lanky, rakish, tortured, Confederate soldier. On screen, as Katie said in regard to one of the movie stills, he looks like he belongs in a movie called "dur..". Extremely miscast. Jackson Rathbone is a cutey, but he is a dark-haired, short cutie. Again, the baseball scene was the only time I saw any hint of the Jasper from the book. And that was only a hint.
Okay...what am I missing?
The nomads... Cam Gigandet will explode after this film. Why? Because he had a fucking good time playing a psychopathic killer and he looks ten times hotter in real life. If they wanted to give Hawkeye a cameo in the next Iron Man or Avengers, I would not argue against Gigandet as Clint Barton. His power is in his physical presence on screen. Rachelle Lefevre is *gorgeous* as Victoria. I kind wish she were a teensy bit more crazy though. You know what I mean? Not just coyly vicious, but psychotically batshit insane. But perhaps that will come in Eclipse. Edi Gathegi as Laurent. Um...why his he dressed like an extra from Marie Antoinette? James and Victoria stole their clothes from one of their prey, so was the last person Laurent dined on the dude holding the tray of champagne glasses in The Duchess?
Um...what else?
Dialogue--what was kept:
-the abysmal "Of three things I was certain" monologue...
-lion and lamb (which was not nearly as hot or romantic as in the book)
-heroin line (sans explanation)
If there is anything else you'd like to know, drop me a line. I've decided not to friends lock this in case anyone wants to link a friend back to this who isn't on LJ but wants a Twilight film review. I can repost my thoughts on Bella & Edward from last night if you so desire.