The Balkan Mistake part 1
Fic title: The Balkan Mistake
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG-13 (I think, lemme know if I'm wrong)
Word count: 10529
Warnings: character death (implied and actual)
Summary: Rewrite of the French Mistake in which Sam and Dean are not only transported to another reality, but also given memories as if they have always lived in that dimension. They do still have memory of their own life of course, just in the sense they've played the characters on-screen. Will their brotherly bond be enough to overcome the inconsistent memories and get them back home or will Sam and Dean spend the rest of their lives as Jared and Jensen?
Comments: Given the nature of the idea, and my lack of knowledge of the actual cast, everyone is bound to be at least a shade AU. The brothers are meant to only be slightly like Jared and Jensen so you know they're Sam and Dean. Any blatant inconsistencies are intentional too; it's to create slight differences between realities that are clues which "scenes" are real.
Also, bonus points to anyone who can explain my choice of title.
Rain pounds against the windows as a flash of lightning is followed soon after by rumbling thunder directly overhead on a stormy night near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Though it is late, the lights are still on in the home seated beside an auto salvage yard. Inside are two brothers, each researching, in their own way, and basking in the short peace as they finally have a moment to stop and rest between cases and life's craziness.
Sam enters Bobby's living room, arms loaded down with more books, just as Dean is draining the last drops from a bottle he opened not long ago. The computer screen beside the older brother shows an open page with vague bloody pictures and some text blocks, but he is naturally more interested in the alcohol.
"Where's Bobby?" Sam wonders aloud.
Dean glances at him between staring at the bottle as if he could will more liquor to appear. "In town," he answers, "supply run." A quick glance towards the window then back to staring at the empty bottle.
"In this?" Sam questions, gesturing to the window.
"Yeah, man's a hero. We were officially out of Hunter's Helper." As he speaks, Dean's eyes keep shifting between the bottle and Sam but they share a look after Dean finishes.
Beneath the crackle of lightning there is the faint sound of moving air that they have come to associate with the sound of wings. An angel has joined them.
"Hello boys." It’s Balthazar. Dean starts to rise but no one says anything as the angel walks over behind Bobby's desk, limping slightly on the right side. "You've seen ‘the Godfather,’ right?"
"Balthazar..." Dean begins, but said angel cuts him off.
"You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop?" He sets a pot he's picked up unnoticed on the desk as Dean tries (and fails) again to get interrupt with a forceful 'hey' directed at the celestial's back.
Balthazar turns back around with a yellow box of salt and reads the label out loud but to himself. "Dead sea brine, good, good, good." He starts to dump some into the bowl and picks up the conversation towards the brothers. "You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door?"
Dean makes a third attempt. "I said hey."
"You did," Balthazar agrees, nodding his head in mockery. "Twice. Good for you."
The angel sets down the salt and starts looking around the room. "Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb." Between one moment and the next he vanishes into the kitchen, still talking to himself as he searches in the refrigerator. "Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb!" A triumphant smile as he turns to the boys with the jar of blood in his hand.
"Why are you talking about ‘the Godfather‘?" Sam questions him.
Balthazar, now behind the brothers again, answers. "Because we're in it -- right now, tonight." Both Winchesters stare at him, mixed surprise and minor worry on their faces. "And in the role of Michael Corleone… The archangel Raphael."
"You mind telling us what you mean?" Dean asks as Balthazar dumps the blood of lamb into his mixture.
The angel starts to sigh then slips into a string of 'no's and begins to search in the desk drawers before pulling one out to reveal the false bottom. "No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Yes. Bone of a lesser saint." This ingredient is tied in a clear plastic bag. "This vertebra will do very nicely.“ He looks up again to the brothers. “Your Mr. Singer does keep a beautiful pantry."
Dean won't just let this issue sit, he wants answers. "Wait, Raphael is after you?"
"Raphael is after us all," Balthazar corrects him while crushing the bone in one hand before dropping it in the pot. "You see, he's consolidated his strength and now he's on the move."
"And where's Cass?" Sam questions.
"Oh, Cassie?" Balthazar repeats back. He moves to the window now while swishing the bowl containing the spell mixture. "He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cass… Including both of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cass out in the open."
Both Winchesters advance on the angel as Sam responds. "And you expect us to just believe you?"
"Oh, don't. You'll go where I throw you either way."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean questions just before the lights flicker. Balthazar looks up, simultaneously drawing the last line of a sigil on the window pane.
"And that's all the time we have, gentlemen." The angel turns around to set the bowl on the desk and as he turns back to the brothers something catches his jacket, revealing a patch of blood on his right side. Not noticing this, Balthazar turns back towards the window and speaks to himself again. "Now which is it again?"
"Whoa," Dean comments about the blood. "What happened there?"
Balthazar looks down before pulling the jacket closed. "Oh. Garish, I know. You see, uncle Raffy sent one of his nastiest to handle me. I'm flattered, actually. And down a lung at the moment, but that's all right." His attention moves back to the window and he tosses up his hands in momentary cheer before changing one line of the sigil. "Ah, that's the one."
"What is that for?" Sam gestures towards the mark on the glass.
"That, dearies, will take you someplace safe. For the time being anyway." A short pause. "Almost forgot the most important part." The angel reaches out and touches either brothers' forehead with one finger apiece. "In one week's time this passage will be reopened. You need to be in the exact spot it lets you out in order to return. If you're not here, then you'll be stuck there. If you remember nothing else, remember tha-"
Balthazar suddenly flies through the air, crashing on the floor across the room with a muffled groan as the brothers look on in shock. They glance up at the sound of wings in the kitchen, just in time to see a new angel stalk towards them.
"Virgil," Balthazar comments almost too calmly before looking at the Winchesters. "Now. Run!"
A blast of angel power sends Sam and Dean flying through the sigil marked window as the newcomer advances on Balthazar. The pair crash land on a safety mattress with fake glass raining down around and on top of them. Both boys scramble to stand, ready for a fight.
"Cut!" Director Robert Singer calls and there is applause before the murmur of background crew picks up on the sound stage. A random crewmember steps over and pats Dean's backside, much to the Winchester's disbelief.
"Real good solid fall. Way to go."
Robert Singer speaks again before a bewildered Dean can do anything. "Jared, Jensen! Outstanding! That was just great."
Another crew member walks behind the brothers, faces through the broken window towards the camera with a clapper board. "'Supernatural,' scene one echo, take one. Tail slate. Marker!"
The brothers continue to look around bewildered until a second voice yells, "cut!" Behind Bob Singer and his row of crew is a line of cameras and another collection of crew members, and from this group of people a man steps forward out of a second chair that reads 'Director'.
"What do you think boys?" Charles Beeson asks. "How did it feel?"
"Well that landing kinda sucked," Dean commented.
"He meant the scene," Sam corrected him. Then his attention turned to the third male again. "Are you sure this isn't pushing it too far? Are the fans really going to believe any of this?"
"Oh they'll love it. You haven't seen some of the fanfiction... Besides, it's season 6," the director replied. "The fanbase is large enough that even if we lose a few people over this episode we'll still be heading strong for another season next year." Something then caught his attention behind the pair and he hurried off. "Hey. Those don't go over there."
Sam looked to Dean. "Crazy episode, huh?"
"Very."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's late afternoon when the boys are done shooting scenes for the day and they leave through the back lot together, talking as they head to meet their driver. The conversation covers scattered, meaningless topics such as sports and world news and whether this episode is actually a good idea or not.
"I just don't know about this," Sam reasons. "Breaking the fourth wall should be a carefully considered instance, not just used as a plot point just because."
"Oh let up Jared and just enjoy it." Dean looks towards the taller man but sees something in the distance that makes him pause and reach an arm out to stop Sam too. His gaze directs the other where to look too. "C'mon, let's go pretend we're actually Sam and Dean and confuse Misha. How many other times can we pull that off AND blame it on the script?"
Sam is still shaking his head when Dean starts towards the third actor, leaving the younger brother to have to quickly catch up.
The duo pass through the open door onto a set that is a random street and used in any town on the show. Dean leads them at a slow jog but slows down once the angel's actor can see them. He calls out, reciting the first lines to an upcoming scene.
"Hey, Cass! Oh, thank god. What is all this, huh? W-w-what did Balthazar do to us?"
Misha doesn't speak until both bothers stop near him. "To keep you out of Virgil's reach, he's cast you into an alternate reality, a universe similar to ours in most respects yet dramatically different in others."
"Like -- like bizarro earth, right?" Dean continues, playing oblivious to the overacting from Castiel's portrayer. "Except instead of having Bizarro superman, we get this clown factory."
"Um...Yeah, well...Anyway, no time to explain. Do you have the key?"
"Yeah," Sam answers with a bit of surprise in his tone though he pulls the prop right out of his jacket and hands it to Misha. He'd forgotten about receiving it in a previous scene. "So, uh, what does this thing do, anyway?"
"It opens a room."
"What's in the room?" Dean asks.
"Every weapon Balthazar stole from heaven," Misha answers as Cass.
"He gave it to us?" The surprise is not all faked in Dean's tone. He remembers reading the script for that scene but can't remember that ever happening.
"To keep it safe until I could reach you. With those weapons, I have a chance to rally my forces."
"Oh." Sam nods. "Okay, good. Yeah. So, now, uh, what's the deal with all this t.v. crap?"
"Pardon?" Misha asks.
"Yeah," Dean agrees. "You know, all this stuff around us and these weirdo names. Jensen. Padaleski."
"Uh, "lecki," Sam corrects him.
Dean stares at him but blows off the argument. "Whatever."
"Man." Misha's voice goes much higher as he drops the act of playing his character and pulls out a script. "They put out new pages?"
"I mean, is this some kind of cosmic joke?" Sam continues.
Yeah," Dean agrees again. "'cause if it is, it's stupid, and we don't get it."
"Yeah," Sam responds.
"Are you guys okay?" Misha questions them with a studying look.
Dean decides then to steal the script from Misha and skims through the first page. "Give me that. What is- These are words in a script. This isn't Cass."
"Dude, look at him." Sam's comment comes as Misha unbuttons his shirt to reveal another underneath with a logo neither brother recognizes.
"You guys want to run lines, or...?"
"His name's Misha." Dean continues talking towards Sam like he never heard the question. Just to put further emphasis on how odd the angel actor's name is, Dean puts on a weird face and repeats his name. "Misha?"
"Oh, wow. Just... great," Sam speaks when Misha is silent. He also reaches out to take back the key, then pockets it and both brothers start to walk away.
"That guy's an actor?" Dean comments loudly. "Seriously? Him?!"
"I dunno dude, this place is way past crazy."
Misha turns to stare after them, his mouth open to speak, and finds both males waiting. "What's with you two?" Blue eyes dart between the other two males, questioning.
His curiosity is soon resolved as Dean is the one to speak. "Told you he'd fall for it Sammy."
Sam doesn't speak, but his expression says enough.
"You guys!" Misha laughs. "You really punked me! I'm totally gonna tweet this one."
"Yeah, ok," Dean responds. "You do that. We're off, done for the day."
"So wait, they didn't actually put out any new pages, right?"
"None that I've seen," Sam answers. "See ya later man."
There is a half-hearted wave exchanged and the brothers turn to walk away for real now as Misha digs into a pocket in the trench coat for his cell phone and starts to type. Each word he writes, he speaks out loud to himself. "Hola, mishamigos. J-squared... Got me good... Really... starting to feel... like one of the guys."
It's not until they get to the parking lot, where their driver is waiting, that Sam comments on something. "Did you call me 'Sammy' when we were pranking him? Well, after, when we weren't being Sam and Dean anymore..."
Dean looks at him and shrugs. "I dunno, maybe."
"I think you did." He watches his brother for a moment as they each open a door on opposite sides of the vehicle. "You've been Dean way too long, Jensen."
Dean shrugs that one off as they both climb in and the next one to speak when the doors close is Clif, their driver. He is a large, heavyset man with the only hair on his head on his face as a moustache and trimmed beard. "You know whereabouts you want me to drop you off?"
"We can let Jensen off first today," Sam spoke up. "Gen won't be back until late tonight so I don't need to rush home."
"Alright then," Clif answers and shifts the car into drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wake up."
The gentle feminine voice barely filters into his mind and the soft pad of steps across a carpeted floor should be entirely missed, but when the blanket is yanked from his face Sam doesn't fall to the floor as expected. Instead, he bolts upright, head moving around the room as if searching for an attacker. Quickly his eyes fall on the other occupant of the room, a female with long, dark brown hair wearing a stylish, short and informal almost black skirt with a matching no-sleeve top. "What are you doing Ruby?" A pause, then, "wait. How are you even alive?"
"Very funny,” she replies, dropping the blanket, which lands so it could slide off the bed at any moment. “Now get up and go get dressed. You don’t want to be late again.”
Sam just sits there and stares at her for a moment, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Dark eyes meet his and the connection to his brain is finally re-established. “Wow. Sorry Gen, I... well... Just a late night I guess.”
“I see that.” She takes a step closer to the bed. “I didn’t expect you to wait up for me.”
“I didn’t plan to either,” he offers in response. “I just couldn’t get to sleep. At all.” His right hand goes to press against his temple as Sam continues to talk. “And now it feels like I need a caffeine overdose just to stay awake the next two minutes.”
“I only have one thing to say about that,” Genevieve comments.
“What’s that?” Sam asks, looking up to her.
“The make-up crew has their work cut out for them today. You look like you haven’t slept in months.” She steps back as he tosses out an arm to playfully hit her. “Now get moving. You know how I hate when that horn doesn’t end because you aren’t out waiting for Clif.”
“Blame Jensen for that,” Sam tells her. With effort he pushes himself to standing and starts plodding off to the bathroom, still talking. “He makes him lay on the horn and even does it himself when Cliff won’t.”
“Oh I do.”
~
Half an hour later, Sam comes down the stairs in jeans and a t-shirt, with a jacket over his arm. Genevieve meets him before he even reaches the bottom and offers a cup of coffee.
“Here.” He takes it from her and lifts it to his lips before she finishes speaking. “It’s a new flavor so tell me what you think.”
By his face, Sam barely manages not to spit it back out at her and it is clearly painful as he forces the mouthful down his throat. “That was horrible.” He passes her back the cup, which is only half-full now. “I think we should just throw the whole bag. What’s in there? Five pounds of sugar?”
“Right. Well it woke you up at least.”
“That or the shower did,” he answers before switching topics. “I missed the weather so I don’t know if I need this.” He holds up the arm with the jacket. “Is it supposed to rain at all today?”
“Probably,” Genevieve responds quickly. “It rains just about every day in this part of Canada.” Sam’s expression flickered for a second but Genevieve had turned towards the kitchen. “But you shouldn’t need it anyway. Aren’t you only shooting indoor scenes today?”
“Right, that’s right. Guess I’m still not fully awake.”
Without comment Genevieve heads to the kitchen, but not before giving Sam a gently disbelieving look. He follows after her moments later, after laying the jacket over the banister. The room is sleek and modern but has a cozy, lived in feel too. Genevieve stops beside the kitchen counter and Sam stops just inside the doorway.
“Did I mention I’m sorry for this morning? I know you don’t like getting called by that name and I was bei-” He is silenced by her fingers over his mouth.
“It’s fine.” Her voice is kind and lower than usual. “I know the show must be on your mind a lot and it’s not as though it didn’t cross my mind that this might happen when we got married. Although...” She draws him down for a kiss before finishing her comment. "You have been Sam Winchester way too long. "
"Would you believe I just said pretty much the same thing to," he pauses ever so momentarily like he's forgotten his friend's name, "Jensen last night?" Sam coughs out the start of a laugh. “He called me ‘Sammy’ when we weren’t running lines or anything.”
“Dean hasn’t even used that in years, has he?” Sam shakes his head. "Well, maybe it is for the best if the company doesn't want another season."
"Don’t say that,” Sam interjects. “You're going to jinx it.”
"So you still don't know?” Genevieve asks with genuine curiosity.
“Not yet, but we’re still a few weeks away from the company’s deadline and they’ll probably wait until last minute to check ratings and-”
Sam stops with his mouth open as the loud and long honk of a car horn fills the air. Genevieve winces at the sound and Sam nearly does the same. Thankfully their ears are given reprieve after 30 seconds but the silence is sure to be short lived.
“That’s my sign to go,” he says and leans down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”
When Sam gets outside half a minute later, Dean is attempting to lean over the seat to reach the steering wheel, either too distracted to notice Sam’s approach or just not caring. Meanwhile, Clif is barely keeping him from hitting it again, despite the hunter’s best efforts. And when the younger brother knocks on a window both men jump in surprise.
Sam climbs in and Dean responds with an exaggerated, “finally,” forcing Sam to resist the urge to hit him. As they pull out of the drive, Genevieve stands by the front door and waves until the car is out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they arrive at the studio, the first person they see on their way to the set is Balthazar's portrayer. Whether in attempt to be cheerful or simply looking to make trouble, Dean calls out to the other male.
"Morning Roach. I didn't know you had any scenes today."
The European actor looked to him for a moment. "Back to that one, are we? Hilarious..." And then he deliberately turned and walked away without pause.
"What was that about?" Dean wonders out loud as he watches the other male stalk off.
"Well you butchered his name for one thing," Sam states, matter-of-factly.
Dean turns a confused look on him, so Sam has to explain.
"It's Roché, not roach," he reminds Dean, making sure to accentuate the name. "He's French." As if that explains everything.
Dean's expression changes to curious, then unconcerned. "Well at least I made the effort to learn his name."
"True," Sam relents. "That's more than you ever attempted with Misha."
"At least I learned his name before you did."
"First off, no you didn't." Sam continues before Dean could attempt to cut him off with any sort of protest. "And secondly, you should have known his name first because I didn't even have any scenes with him for seven episodes. Do you have idea how much time that gave you-"
Dean just shrugs it off and interrupts now. "Come on. Let's get going before we're late." Then he starts towards the nearby building, leaving Sam to follow after him.
Today’s filming is more scenes with the Winchesters on the actual set and after a couple hours in hair, make-up and wardrobe the first take begins, rather uneventfully. Filming is easy, only a few runs through each scene and midday soon comes around with just one more scene to shoot before the crew can break for lunch. The scene: Misha as Cas trying to explain the situation to Sam and Dean.
“Balthazar is no hero,” Misha explains as Sam fidgets in the background, his arms keep moving as he folds and unfolds them then folds them again. “But he knows Raphael will never take him back.”
Dean makes a point of staring at his script. “Dean, grimly. And yet, you got no problem with that.”
“Cut!” their pseudo-director calls as Misha turns to mouth at the camera behind him. The scene continues seconds later without ever stopping. “Action!”
Sam lifts one of his arms awkwardly, his voice at an even more awkward tone. “If there's a key, then,” and now his other arm comes up, “there must also be a lock.”
“Cut. Action.”
Sam starts the scene again.
“If there's a key...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons.” The younger brother makes gestures to accompany his words as the other two look on but the hand signs appear entirely random and slightly uncoordinated. “And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key.”
“We need to get all three of that crap,” Dean says, cutting his rambling off.
“What?” Sam asks, almost genuinely curious.
“That's how he talks.”
“Oh.”
“Cut! For the love of... Action. Cut!”
“That's because…“ Sam glances around as he talks.
“Don't look at the camera,” Dean scolds him suddenly.
This time Sam is confused. “What?”
“Look anywhere but the camera.”
“Cut!” This time it’s not Robert Singer who calls it and taping actually stops as the real director steps forward. His gaze latches on Dean. “Trying to write your own lines now too Jensen?”
“Yeah,” Sam comments. “What’s with the ad-libbing?”
Dean shrugs. “It just felt like something Dean would say.” He looks between the two. “Besides, Jared’s got all the lines in this scene and Dean’s fans need some good moments too.”
Charles Beeson regards him in silence for a minute. Finally though he concedes. “I’m not agreeing with you, but I like it.” He turns and starts back to his chair. “Let’s run through that one again.”
They restart from the last scene break, using the amended lines now.
“That's because…“ Sam glances around as he talks.
“Don't look at the camera,” Dean scolds him.
“What?”
“Look anywhere but the camera.”
Acting still confused, Sam looks at the ceiling. His voice rises to not quite a shout as he delivers the next line. “That's because we have no other choice!”
Genre: Gen
Rating: PG-13 (I think, lemme know if I'm wrong)
Word count: 10529
Warnings: character death (implied and actual)
Summary: Rewrite of the French Mistake in which Sam and Dean are not only transported to another reality, but also given memories as if they have always lived in that dimension. They do still have memory of their own life of course, just in the sense they've played the characters on-screen. Will their brotherly bond be enough to overcome the inconsistent memories and get them back home or will Sam and Dean spend the rest of their lives as Jared and Jensen?
Comments: Given the nature of the idea, and my lack of knowledge of the actual cast, everyone is bound to be at least a shade AU. The brothers are meant to only be slightly like Jared and Jensen so you know they're Sam and Dean. Any blatant inconsistencies are intentional too; it's to create slight differences between realities that are clues which "scenes" are real.
Also, bonus points to anyone who can explain my choice of title.
Rain pounds against the windows as a flash of lightning is followed soon after by rumbling thunder directly overhead on a stormy night near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Though it is late, the lights are still on in the home seated beside an auto salvage yard. Inside are two brothers, each researching, in their own way, and basking in the short peace as they finally have a moment to stop and rest between cases and life's craziness.
Sam enters Bobby's living room, arms loaded down with more books, just as Dean is draining the last drops from a bottle he opened not long ago. The computer screen beside the older brother shows an open page with vague bloody pictures and some text blocks, but he is naturally more interested in the alcohol.
"Where's Bobby?" Sam wonders aloud.
Dean glances at him between staring at the bottle as if he could will more liquor to appear. "In town," he answers, "supply run." A quick glance towards the window then back to staring at the empty bottle.
"In this?" Sam questions, gesturing to the window.
"Yeah, man's a hero. We were officially out of Hunter's Helper." As he speaks, Dean's eyes keep shifting between the bottle and Sam but they share a look after Dean finishes.
Beneath the crackle of lightning there is the faint sound of moving air that they have come to associate with the sound of wings. An angel has joined them.
"Hello boys." It’s Balthazar. Dean starts to rise but no one says anything as the angel walks over behind Bobby's desk, limping slightly on the right side. "You've seen ‘the Godfather,’ right?"
"Balthazar..." Dean begins, but said angel cuts him off.
"You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop?" He sets a pot he's picked up unnoticed on the desk as Dean tries (and fails) again to get interrupt with a forceful 'hey' directed at the celestial's back.
Balthazar turns back around with a yellow box of salt and reads the label out loud but to himself. "Dead sea brine, good, good, good." He starts to dump some into the bowl and picks up the conversation towards the brothers. "You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door?"
Dean makes a third attempt. "I said hey."
"You did," Balthazar agrees, nodding his head in mockery. "Twice. Good for you."
The angel sets down the salt and starts looking around the room. "Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb." Between one moment and the next he vanishes into the kitchen, still talking to himself as he searches in the refrigerator. "Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb!" A triumphant smile as he turns to the boys with the jar of blood in his hand.
"Why are you talking about ‘the Godfather‘?" Sam questions him.
Balthazar, now behind the brothers again, answers. "Because we're in it -- right now, tonight." Both Winchesters stare at him, mixed surprise and minor worry on their faces. "And in the role of Michael Corleone… The archangel Raphael."
"You mind telling us what you mean?" Dean asks as Balthazar dumps the blood of lamb into his mixture.
The angel starts to sigh then slips into a string of 'no's and begins to search in the desk drawers before pulling one out to reveal the false bottom. "No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Yes. Bone of a lesser saint." This ingredient is tied in a clear plastic bag. "This vertebra will do very nicely.“ He looks up again to the brothers. “Your Mr. Singer does keep a beautiful pantry."
Dean won't just let this issue sit, he wants answers. "Wait, Raphael is after you?"
"Raphael is after us all," Balthazar corrects him while crushing the bone in one hand before dropping it in the pot. "You see, he's consolidated his strength and now he's on the move."
"And where's Cass?" Sam questions.
"Oh, Cassie?" Balthazar repeats back. He moves to the window now while swishing the bowl containing the spell mixture. "He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cass… Including both of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cass out in the open."
Both Winchesters advance on the angel as Sam responds. "And you expect us to just believe you?"
"Oh, don't. You'll go where I throw you either way."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean questions just before the lights flicker. Balthazar looks up, simultaneously drawing the last line of a sigil on the window pane.
"And that's all the time we have, gentlemen." The angel turns around to set the bowl on the desk and as he turns back to the brothers something catches his jacket, revealing a patch of blood on his right side. Not noticing this, Balthazar turns back towards the window and speaks to himself again. "Now which is it again?"
"Whoa," Dean comments about the blood. "What happened there?"
Balthazar looks down before pulling the jacket closed. "Oh. Garish, I know. You see, uncle Raffy sent one of his nastiest to handle me. I'm flattered, actually. And down a lung at the moment, but that's all right." His attention moves back to the window and he tosses up his hands in momentary cheer before changing one line of the sigil. "Ah, that's the one."
"What is that for?" Sam gestures towards the mark on the glass.
"That, dearies, will take you someplace safe. For the time being anyway." A short pause. "Almost forgot the most important part." The angel reaches out and touches either brothers' forehead with one finger apiece. "In one week's time this passage will be reopened. You need to be in the exact spot it lets you out in order to return. If you're not here, then you'll be stuck there. If you remember nothing else, remember tha-"
Balthazar suddenly flies through the air, crashing on the floor across the room with a muffled groan as the brothers look on in shock. They glance up at the sound of wings in the kitchen, just in time to see a new angel stalk towards them.
"Virgil," Balthazar comments almost too calmly before looking at the Winchesters. "Now. Run!"
A blast of angel power sends Sam and Dean flying through the sigil marked window as the newcomer advances on Balthazar. The pair crash land on a safety mattress with fake glass raining down around and on top of them. Both boys scramble to stand, ready for a fight.
"Cut!" Director Robert Singer calls and there is applause before the murmur of background crew picks up on the sound stage. A random crewmember steps over and pats Dean's backside, much to the Winchester's disbelief.
"Real good solid fall. Way to go."
Robert Singer speaks again before a bewildered Dean can do anything. "Jared, Jensen! Outstanding! That was just great."
Another crew member walks behind the brothers, faces through the broken window towards the camera with a clapper board. "'Supernatural,' scene one echo, take one. Tail slate. Marker!"
The brothers continue to look around bewildered until a second voice yells, "cut!" Behind Bob Singer and his row of crew is a line of cameras and another collection of crew members, and from this group of people a man steps forward out of a second chair that reads 'Director'.
"What do you think boys?" Charles Beeson asks. "How did it feel?"
"Well that landing kinda sucked," Dean commented.
"He meant the scene," Sam corrected him. Then his attention turned to the third male again. "Are you sure this isn't pushing it too far? Are the fans really going to believe any of this?"
"Oh they'll love it. You haven't seen some of the fanfiction... Besides, it's season 6," the director replied. "The fanbase is large enough that even if we lose a few people over this episode we'll still be heading strong for another season next year." Something then caught his attention behind the pair and he hurried off. "Hey. Those don't go over there."
Sam looked to Dean. "Crazy episode, huh?"
"Very."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's late afternoon when the boys are done shooting scenes for the day and they leave through the back lot together, talking as they head to meet their driver. The conversation covers scattered, meaningless topics such as sports and world news and whether this episode is actually a good idea or not.
"I just don't know about this," Sam reasons. "Breaking the fourth wall should be a carefully considered instance, not just used as a plot point just because."
"Oh let up Jared and just enjoy it." Dean looks towards the taller man but sees something in the distance that makes him pause and reach an arm out to stop Sam too. His gaze directs the other where to look too. "C'mon, let's go pretend we're actually Sam and Dean and confuse Misha. How many other times can we pull that off AND blame it on the script?"
Sam is still shaking his head when Dean starts towards the third actor, leaving the younger brother to have to quickly catch up.
The duo pass through the open door onto a set that is a random street and used in any town on the show. Dean leads them at a slow jog but slows down once the angel's actor can see them. He calls out, reciting the first lines to an upcoming scene.
"Hey, Cass! Oh, thank god. What is all this, huh? W-w-what did Balthazar do to us?"
Misha doesn't speak until both bothers stop near him. "To keep you out of Virgil's reach, he's cast you into an alternate reality, a universe similar to ours in most respects yet dramatically different in others."
"Like -- like bizarro earth, right?" Dean continues, playing oblivious to the overacting from Castiel's portrayer. "Except instead of having Bizarro superman, we get this clown factory."
"Um...Yeah, well...Anyway, no time to explain. Do you have the key?"
"Yeah," Sam answers with a bit of surprise in his tone though he pulls the prop right out of his jacket and hands it to Misha. He'd forgotten about receiving it in a previous scene. "So, uh, what does this thing do, anyway?"
"It opens a room."
"What's in the room?" Dean asks.
"Every weapon Balthazar stole from heaven," Misha answers as Cass.
"He gave it to us?" The surprise is not all faked in Dean's tone. He remembers reading the script for that scene but can't remember that ever happening.
"To keep it safe until I could reach you. With those weapons, I have a chance to rally my forces."
"Oh." Sam nods. "Okay, good. Yeah. So, now, uh, what's the deal with all this t.v. crap?"
"Pardon?" Misha asks.
"Yeah," Dean agrees. "You know, all this stuff around us and these weirdo names. Jensen. Padaleski."
"Uh, "lecki," Sam corrects him.
Dean stares at him but blows off the argument. "Whatever."
"Man." Misha's voice goes much higher as he drops the act of playing his character and pulls out a script. "They put out new pages?"
"I mean, is this some kind of cosmic joke?" Sam continues.
Yeah," Dean agrees again. "'cause if it is, it's stupid, and we don't get it."
"Yeah," Sam responds.
"Are you guys okay?" Misha questions them with a studying look.
Dean decides then to steal the script from Misha and skims through the first page. "Give me that. What is- These are words in a script. This isn't Cass."
"Dude, look at him." Sam's comment comes as Misha unbuttons his shirt to reveal another underneath with a logo neither brother recognizes.
"You guys want to run lines, or...?"
"His name's Misha." Dean continues talking towards Sam like he never heard the question. Just to put further emphasis on how odd the angel actor's name is, Dean puts on a weird face and repeats his name. "Misha?"
"Oh, wow. Just... great," Sam speaks when Misha is silent. He also reaches out to take back the key, then pockets it and both brothers start to walk away.
"That guy's an actor?" Dean comments loudly. "Seriously? Him?!"
"I dunno dude, this place is way past crazy."
Misha turns to stare after them, his mouth open to speak, and finds both males waiting. "What's with you two?" Blue eyes dart between the other two males, questioning.
His curiosity is soon resolved as Dean is the one to speak. "Told you he'd fall for it Sammy."
Sam doesn't speak, but his expression says enough.
"You guys!" Misha laughs. "You really punked me! I'm totally gonna tweet this one."
"Yeah, ok," Dean responds. "You do that. We're off, done for the day."
"So wait, they didn't actually put out any new pages, right?"
"None that I've seen," Sam answers. "See ya later man."
There is a half-hearted wave exchanged and the brothers turn to walk away for real now as Misha digs into a pocket in the trench coat for his cell phone and starts to type. Each word he writes, he speaks out loud to himself. "Hola, mishamigos. J-squared... Got me good... Really... starting to feel... like one of the guys."
It's not until they get to the parking lot, where their driver is waiting, that Sam comments on something. "Did you call me 'Sammy' when we were pranking him? Well, after, when we weren't being Sam and Dean anymore..."
Dean looks at him and shrugs. "I dunno, maybe."
"I think you did." He watches his brother for a moment as they each open a door on opposite sides of the vehicle. "You've been Dean way too long, Jensen."
Dean shrugs that one off as they both climb in and the next one to speak when the doors close is Clif, their driver. He is a large, heavyset man with the only hair on his head on his face as a moustache and trimmed beard. "You know whereabouts you want me to drop you off?"
"We can let Jensen off first today," Sam spoke up. "Gen won't be back until late tonight so I don't need to rush home."
"Alright then," Clif answers and shifts the car into drive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wake up."
The gentle feminine voice barely filters into his mind and the soft pad of steps across a carpeted floor should be entirely missed, but when the blanket is yanked from his face Sam doesn't fall to the floor as expected. Instead, he bolts upright, head moving around the room as if searching for an attacker. Quickly his eyes fall on the other occupant of the room, a female with long, dark brown hair wearing a stylish, short and informal almost black skirt with a matching no-sleeve top. "What are you doing Ruby?" A pause, then, "wait. How are you even alive?"
"Very funny,” she replies, dropping the blanket, which lands so it could slide off the bed at any moment. “Now get up and go get dressed. You don’t want to be late again.”
Sam just sits there and stares at her for a moment, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Dark eyes meet his and the connection to his brain is finally re-established. “Wow. Sorry Gen, I... well... Just a late night I guess.”
“I see that.” She takes a step closer to the bed. “I didn’t expect you to wait up for me.”
“I didn’t plan to either,” he offers in response. “I just couldn’t get to sleep. At all.” His right hand goes to press against his temple as Sam continues to talk. “And now it feels like I need a caffeine overdose just to stay awake the next two minutes.”
“I only have one thing to say about that,” Genevieve comments.
“What’s that?” Sam asks, looking up to her.
“The make-up crew has their work cut out for them today. You look like you haven’t slept in months.” She steps back as he tosses out an arm to playfully hit her. “Now get moving. You know how I hate when that horn doesn’t end because you aren’t out waiting for Clif.”
“Blame Jensen for that,” Sam tells her. With effort he pushes himself to standing and starts plodding off to the bathroom, still talking. “He makes him lay on the horn and even does it himself when Cliff won’t.”
“Oh I do.”
~
Half an hour later, Sam comes down the stairs in jeans and a t-shirt, with a jacket over his arm. Genevieve meets him before he even reaches the bottom and offers a cup of coffee.
“Here.” He takes it from her and lifts it to his lips before she finishes speaking. “It’s a new flavor so tell me what you think.”
By his face, Sam barely manages not to spit it back out at her and it is clearly painful as he forces the mouthful down his throat. “That was horrible.” He passes her back the cup, which is only half-full now. “I think we should just throw the whole bag. What’s in there? Five pounds of sugar?”
“Right. Well it woke you up at least.”
“That or the shower did,” he answers before switching topics. “I missed the weather so I don’t know if I need this.” He holds up the arm with the jacket. “Is it supposed to rain at all today?”
“Probably,” Genevieve responds quickly. “It rains just about every day in this part of Canada.” Sam’s expression flickered for a second but Genevieve had turned towards the kitchen. “But you shouldn’t need it anyway. Aren’t you only shooting indoor scenes today?”
“Right, that’s right. Guess I’m still not fully awake.”
Without comment Genevieve heads to the kitchen, but not before giving Sam a gently disbelieving look. He follows after her moments later, after laying the jacket over the banister. The room is sleek and modern but has a cozy, lived in feel too. Genevieve stops beside the kitchen counter and Sam stops just inside the doorway.
“Did I mention I’m sorry for this morning? I know you don’t like getting called by that name and I was bei-” He is silenced by her fingers over his mouth.
“It’s fine.” Her voice is kind and lower than usual. “I know the show must be on your mind a lot and it’s not as though it didn’t cross my mind that this might happen when we got married. Although...” She draws him down for a kiss before finishing her comment. "You have been Sam Winchester way too long. "
"Would you believe I just said pretty much the same thing to," he pauses ever so momentarily like he's forgotten his friend's name, "Jensen last night?" Sam coughs out the start of a laugh. “He called me ‘Sammy’ when we weren’t running lines or anything.”
“Dean hasn’t even used that in years, has he?” Sam shakes his head. "Well, maybe it is for the best if the company doesn't want another season."
"Don’t say that,” Sam interjects. “You're going to jinx it.”
"So you still don't know?” Genevieve asks with genuine curiosity.
“Not yet, but we’re still a few weeks away from the company’s deadline and they’ll probably wait until last minute to check ratings and-”
Sam stops with his mouth open as the loud and long honk of a car horn fills the air. Genevieve winces at the sound and Sam nearly does the same. Thankfully their ears are given reprieve after 30 seconds but the silence is sure to be short lived.
“That’s my sign to go,” he says and leans down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll see you tonight.”
When Sam gets outside half a minute later, Dean is attempting to lean over the seat to reach the steering wheel, either too distracted to notice Sam’s approach or just not caring. Meanwhile, Clif is barely keeping him from hitting it again, despite the hunter’s best efforts. And when the younger brother knocks on a window both men jump in surprise.
Sam climbs in and Dean responds with an exaggerated, “finally,” forcing Sam to resist the urge to hit him. As they pull out of the drive, Genevieve stands by the front door and waves until the car is out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they arrive at the studio, the first person they see on their way to the set is Balthazar's portrayer. Whether in attempt to be cheerful or simply looking to make trouble, Dean calls out to the other male.
"Morning Roach. I didn't know you had any scenes today."
The European actor looked to him for a moment. "Back to that one, are we? Hilarious..." And then he deliberately turned and walked away without pause.
"What was that about?" Dean wonders out loud as he watches the other male stalk off.
"Well you butchered his name for one thing," Sam states, matter-of-factly.
Dean turns a confused look on him, so Sam has to explain.
"It's Roché, not roach," he reminds Dean, making sure to accentuate the name. "He's French." As if that explains everything.
Dean's expression changes to curious, then unconcerned. "Well at least I made the effort to learn his name."
"True," Sam relents. "That's more than you ever attempted with Misha."
"At least I learned his name before you did."
"First off, no you didn't." Sam continues before Dean could attempt to cut him off with any sort of protest. "And secondly, you should have known his name first because I didn't even have any scenes with him for seven episodes. Do you have idea how much time that gave you-"
Dean just shrugs it off and interrupts now. "Come on. Let's get going before we're late." Then he starts towards the nearby building, leaving Sam to follow after him.
Today’s filming is more scenes with the Winchesters on the actual set and after a couple hours in hair, make-up and wardrobe the first take begins, rather uneventfully. Filming is easy, only a few runs through each scene and midday soon comes around with just one more scene to shoot before the crew can break for lunch. The scene: Misha as Cas trying to explain the situation to Sam and Dean.
“Balthazar is no hero,” Misha explains as Sam fidgets in the background, his arms keep moving as he folds and unfolds them then folds them again. “But he knows Raphael will never take him back.”
Dean makes a point of staring at his script. “Dean, grimly. And yet, you got no problem with that.”
“Cut!” their pseudo-director calls as Misha turns to mouth at the camera behind him. The scene continues seconds later without ever stopping. “Action!”
Sam lifts one of his arms awkwardly, his voice at an even more awkward tone. “If there's a key, then,” and now his other arm comes up, “there must also be a lock.”
“Cut. Action.”
Sam starts the scene again.
“If there's a key...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons.” The younger brother makes gestures to accompany his words as the other two look on but the hand signs appear entirely random and slightly uncoordinated. “And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key.”
“We need to get all three of that crap,” Dean says, cutting his rambling off.
“What?” Sam asks, almost genuinely curious.
“That's how he talks.”
“Oh.”
“Cut! For the love of... Action. Cut!”
“That's because…“ Sam glances around as he talks.
“Don't look at the camera,” Dean scolds him suddenly.
This time Sam is confused. “What?”
“Look anywhere but the camera.”
“Cut!” This time it’s not Robert Singer who calls it and taping actually stops as the real director steps forward. His gaze latches on Dean. “Trying to write your own lines now too Jensen?”
“Yeah,” Sam comments. “What’s with the ad-libbing?”
Dean shrugs. “It just felt like something Dean would say.” He looks between the two. “Besides, Jared’s got all the lines in this scene and Dean’s fans need some good moments too.”
Charles Beeson regards him in silence for a minute. Finally though he concedes. “I’m not agreeing with you, but I like it.” He turns and starts back to his chair. “Let’s run through that one again.”
They restart from the last scene break, using the amended lines now.
“That's because…“ Sam glances around as he talks.
“Don't look at the camera,” Dean scolds him.
“What?”
“Look anywhere but the camera.”
Acting still confused, Sam looks at the ceiling. His voice rises to not quite a shout as he delivers the next line. “That's because we have no other choice!”