Sky on Fire: Walk Through Shadow -- Chapter 06

[skylar_inari]

Title: Walk Through Shadow
Chapter: Self-Realization
Author/Artist: Killaurey
Word Count: 8,143
Summary: Sidestory to Slow Burn. [Shikamaru centric] While Ino is off in Kumogakure for the Chuunin Exams, Shikamaru's nightmares worsen and his control over his shadow unravels. Getting it together again means facing his worst enemy-himself

Comments

[ishime]

Hi!
I've been reading this story for a while but I'm a laaazy-ass lurker and I just got myself motivated enough to leave you a review. Because. Well. It's a really cool fic.
I haven't read Slow Burn before this so I don't really know the context but still, I love Sadako and the temple - especially the passage about how it was given to the Nara clan forever, because yay! clan history. I really loved the dreams and Odd-Ino, too, and Shikamaru interacting with her and Sadako. The way he forgets things, forgets to ask questions, looses sight of where he is, it all gives this feeling of a place from old tales - places where people always get lost.
*/ramble*
I'm sorry I don't have something relevant to say about this chapter. I'm still surprised by how surprising and unsurprising the end was - I mean, facing oneself is a really common theme in dream training worlds, and yet I didn't exactly expect it.

I'm a bit puzzled by your use of tenses, though. Sorry if it sounds dumb - I'm not a native - but you were switching back and forth between preterit and present, and I didn't understand why.
Also, I think you left some typos:
"It was question he hadn't thought to ask." => it was A question
"Shikamaru could feel his tenuous grasp on his carefully wrought calm as is slowly slipped out of his control." => as iT slipped out
"Shikamaru narrowed his eyes slightly, all the while considering that, even as he studied the soft glow that surrounded Odd-Chouji'." => Odd-Chouji.

[skylar_inari]

Hi hi! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you're really enjoying the fic! \o/

<3 It was surprising and not, I suppose, definitely, Shikamaru facing himself at the end of this chapter. I'm super glad it's interesting to you, though.

Thanks so much for pointing out the typos you noticed! I'll fix those... probably tomorrow, since I'm heading to bed right away. ^^; Oops? But I'll fix them right away and thank you so much for telling me about them! I appreciate it! And thanks for telling me that I'm switching tenses at times--I am a native in English and I muck those up all the time! I'll do what I can to fix that, though it might take a little longer than the typos to work through. <3

Thank you for telling me both about how much you enjoy my fic and how much I have to fix to make it even better! <3 <3 <3