(no subject)
r matty,
i guess you could say that i snooped. i found your online journal, but only after you had showed it to me. i was curious to see what it was all about-what you were all about. and well, it really made me realize that there is more to you than just sex. i mean i knew that, but i really didn.t understand until after i had read it. it let me get to know you better outside of all the sex, the drugs, the drinking, the rock n roll life style. it answered questions that i was too scared to ask in person. i suppose i was too afraid of being nosy. of prying into things i had no right to know. the only think i was meant to know was your tongue in my mouth. my lips pressed upon your.s. our fingers laced in between, the heals of our hands pressed together with a slight gap of air in between, the sincerity in your eyes when you talk to someone. i guess you didn.t want me to know the real you because you were afraid of being week. too valunerable. to fragile. you tell me you.re broken and only so much of that can be made visable. you.re a drunk bastard so heavily into sex that it consumes a percentage of you (i haven.t figured out exactly how much.) that whitch can be noticed through the excitement of your voice when you talk about it out loud too much. but i guess that.s the anatomy of a man and i have no problems with that at all. but by reading that journal you didn.t want anyone to know about, i learned alot about you. and though i have never been in a relationship, i can relate to you in alot of different way.s. it just gave me a chance to know that matty i normally wouldn.t have known. only because it answere the questions i was too afraid to ask. but i don.t see you has being cold-hearted. the bitterness, however is understandable; you have every right to feel that way. sometimes i want to tell you things, but i can.t because i have trust issues. i wont ever tell you that i know any of this, but i suppose that letters aren.t always meant to be sent, or given to. it.s just better to write what you.re thinking and get it off your chest. i am however here for you if you should ever need someone to talk to you. i just wish i could answere the questions you ask me without replying "i.m not really sure." or, "i don.t know." i want to make you see that i.m smart and not like the dumbass everyone thinks and i know that you know that. i just enjoy your company so much. you make me smile. you.ve made me realize that it isn.t broken after all... just a little impared. and i had almost forgotten what it felt like to not pretend.... thank you!
sincerely,
erin
i guess you could say that i snooped. i found your online journal, but only after you had showed it to me. i was curious to see what it was all about-what you were all about. and well, it really made me realize that there is more to you than just sex. i mean i knew that, but i really didn.t understand until after i had read it. it let me get to know you better outside of all the sex, the drugs, the drinking, the rock n roll life style. it answered questions that i was too scared to ask in person. i suppose i was too afraid of being nosy. of prying into things i had no right to know. the only think i was meant to know was your tongue in my mouth. my lips pressed upon your.s. our fingers laced in between, the heals of our hands pressed together with a slight gap of air in between, the sincerity in your eyes when you talk to someone. i guess you didn.t want me to know the real you because you were afraid of being week. too valunerable. to fragile. you tell me you.re broken and only so much of that can be made visable. you.re a drunk bastard so heavily into sex that it consumes a percentage of you (i haven.t figured out exactly how much.) that whitch can be noticed through the excitement of your voice when you talk about it out loud too much. but i guess that.s the anatomy of a man and i have no problems with that at all. but by reading that journal you didn.t want anyone to know about, i learned alot about you. and though i have never been in a relationship, i can relate to you in alot of different way.s. it just gave me a chance to know that matty i normally wouldn.t have known. only because it answere the questions i was too afraid to ask. but i don.t see you has being cold-hearted. the bitterness, however is understandable; you have every right to feel that way. sometimes i want to tell you things, but i can.t because i have trust issues. i wont ever tell you that i know any of this, but i suppose that letters aren.t always meant to be sent, or given to. it.s just better to write what you.re thinking and get it off your chest. i am however here for you if you should ever need someone to talk to you. i just wish i could answere the questions you ask me without replying "i.m not really sure." or, "i don.t know." i want to make you see that i.m smart and not like the dumbass everyone thinks and i know that you know that. i just enjoy your company so much. you make me smile. you.ve made me realize that it isn.t broken after all... just a little impared. and i had almost forgotten what it felt like to not pretend.... thank you!
sincerely,
erin