The Melody in You (2/2)
Genre: AU, Fluff
Author: skyfeet and mymiaa
Pairing: GTOP
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Belong to God
Summary: Seunghyun really likes listening to Jiyong singing. unfortunately he couldn't see his beautiful face.
Note: The first serious project with my friend, Mia
Jiyong turn out to be the most bubbly person I’ve ever met. On the way to our destination he keep talking and talking about everything. I don’t mind at all because his voice is like a beautiful melody, and his whiny voice can make a soft lullaby. I’m willing to give all my time hearing this.
Not to mention his soft tiny hands that hold me and guide me all the time we walk. I have this urge to caress his palm and play with his fingers, because it so soft and tiny in my palm.
[Read More...]The way he mention it make me intrigued to know more about his friend Daesung who he mention as ‘Mr never stop smiling’, Jiyong said sometimes it makes him wonder if Daesung sanity level was alright, or this Youngbae boy who always stubborn and dancing everywhere at any moments. Although he said this two annoy him to death, I don’t miss the glint of amusement in his voice. He seems really love his friends.
“You know, Daesung’s nose is big, but his eyes so small. And Youngbae, OMG he insist on braids his hair although his mom say it look ridiculous” Jiyong say.
My favorite part of it is in the end of his babbling he will laughing and giggling, if the shaking that vibrated through our clasp hands and the sharp intake of breathe indicate anything, I’m so can picturing his shaking figure while holding his stomach every time he laugh.
Jiyong is a ball of expression. Even the way he talks is animated and full of expression. He is so open and expressive, even a blind person like me can see it and picturing it just by the way his voice sounds. It makes me wants to know him more and to know the expression he made and or how his move every time he talks for real, not just some imagination. And his face.
I was still in my world picturing Jiyong when he is stop and I bump into him, he is quick to response and prevent our head to smack to each other, but the effort makes his palm landed on my chest. It just a brief second, but my heart already doing double dance just by the little contact, maybe it because I lack of skin-ship.
Apparently we arrive at our destination, by the clement breeze that greet me and lack of warm sunshine against my skin I guess it bellow the tree. He guides me to sit, Gaho follow next to me, but as soon as Jiyong sit beside me the rascal climb to Jiyong’s lap, I guess he make himself at home there. Traitor
Seems like Jiyong already prepared for this, he put out various foods for picnic from he said his backpack. I didn’t even know he bringing backpack all along. Even some for Gaho, ugh that traitor don’t know how lucky he is. My expression must be show something because the next thing I heard is his laughter and a ‘Don’t put that face, you look too adorable like that’. What I know is my face must be blushing madly after that, I know it, because I feel it’s hot. Suddenly my throat feels dry.
“Water” I ask him
He guide my hands to touch the drink and I can’t help but feeling the warm that soon disappear. I have the urge to took that hands again and feeling the warm against my palm.
“Do you want me to feed you?” The question caught me off guard, I almost choke on my drink. But I don’t mind it if the next thing I get is his melodic laughter. I promise to myself I will make him laugh more.
“Hahaa… sorry, your silly expression is too adorable. I can’t stop myself for teasing you. Here, at 1 o’clock there are Kimbab, next to it is scramble egg roll, 12 o’clock there are chicken tempura and broccoli tempura. Last is your drink at 11 o’clock.” He gives me direction and put my chopstick on my palm.
I wonder where he learned to give a blind person a direction, because people who don’t know blind people will forget the detail.
“Your dongsaeng, Seungri who teach me this, in case you are wondering. He is good dongsaeng you know”
Yess he is, really amazing dongsaeng.
“But everytime I see him I can’t help to think he look like a panda” Now is my turn to burst in laughter, he has a point on that.
“A cute panda then, because he is cute too” And now I’m a bit jealous. God what happen to me, since when I’m such a bipolar?
I finally have the courage to ask about him and he tell me everything about him. With him is always feel comfortable, it strange because I just know him, but he have this kind of charm that make people feel like they are close friends. But it’s not his only charm. The more I know him the more I know how amazing he truly is. He has a big dream to become a singer, and he says it proudly, not even a flash of ashamed in his voice although he isn’t reach his dream yet. The determined in his voice every time he said about how he will try and never give up send shiver to me, make me feel ashamed of myself, of how coward myself. Jiyong who his parents don’t have enough money to send him to college never give up his dream and working his ass off. And me, whom parents provide everything, just decide to give up because I was too afraid and tired of trying.
And it’s like that not enough to impress me, he tell me how he do three work everyday. Morning he is a street singer ‘it fun and sometimes the tips is good’ he said, then at library to support his tuition, and when the night come he will sing at a café near his campus ‘I need more money and singing is my hobby, so why not?’ he told me. Not even a word ‘tired’ ever escapes his lips, what I heard is ‘fun’ with clear amusement.
I think he makes me too comfortable, without realize I start to tell him about me. How bastard I used to be and how sorry I feel now. And when the story reach at what turn me into blind person, my palm start to sweaty, heartbeat race with fear. Jiyong must be seeing this, he took my hands and clasp it together with his, grip it tightly in comforting manner. I’m here it say.
I feel grateful to the gesture, that’s what I need right now. It encourages me to continue more and start to open myself to him. It makes me less awkward. And I tell him my doubt, how tired of trying I already am, and my fear to go through the same pain process just to feel disappointed in the end because it’s result nothing.
By the time I finished my story, Jiyong come closer to me and envelope his body to mine, the simple gesture makes my heart squeeze, the sudden affection touch my hear deep until I start teary. This amount of warmness feel foreign to me, but I like it, is this why people say love is amazing? It so overwhelming, there is no word to describe.
We lay down in the grass, this time not under the three because I can feel the warm of sunshine against me as we facing what I assume is the sky. Long thin fingers intertwine with mine, a thumb caressing the side of my palm in shooting manner. I have mixed feeling about this, relax by the caress but also feel giddy of our close proximately.
“You know, the sky is so blue right now. It’s beautiful”
“Is that so, it such a shame I can’t see it”
“You can”
“Huh?” I look at him with the most ‘are you crazy’ stare a blind person could muster.
“You can see it, follow me”
“What do you mean…”
My question cut off by his palm flat on my chest, here we comes the butterfly. I feel it press a little as rustling voice could be heard from where Jiyong lay down. The next thing I know is his scent get stronger and stronger until I can feel his warm body so close to mine. Okay RED ALERT! IT’S TOO CLOSE!
Okay, so the thing is although I’m blind, that’s not stop the fact that I’m a healthy Korean man who have his needs and fucking hormone. So having the one I desire this close to me, not to mention my sensitive ear who can hear his breath clearly, is the biggest torture ever. Now what in my head is how to reach him, hold him and kiss him senseless. Seunghyun, control you pervert self. Idiot !
"Close your eyes " He put his fingers on each of my eyelids
"You’ve seen the sky before, right? "
"Uhm.. " all I can do is nod and do as he said, oh God I sounds like an idiot
"Now, listen to me and do as I say…"
I don’t know if he is really innocent or he is normally bold. Because now I can feel his breathe near my ear, his lips almost touching my earlobe, cheeks touching. Half of his body press to mine, I can feel his wild heartbeat against my side. At least I know his heart as excited as mine. I gasp when his right legs boldly make himself comfortable between my thighs. Oh God
Believe me Jiyong, I’ll do anything without second thought because my sanity start to crumble when you press your body like this. You don’t know what kind of lion sleeping in here.
I bit my lips to prevent my body to move and do embarrassing thing.
"Imagine you are in the grassland, it’s all green and beautiful. Then you lay down on it, the soft breeze brushing your hair teasingly let the mother nature caressing your hair. Then you look at the sky, it beautiful blue with white touch of the fluffy cloud. Yes, the cloud, it so fluffy like soft bed and make you want to come there and touch it….”
The beautiful voice sounds more seductive from close, I found myself drawn in it and do what he ask obediently. Now I can see it all with my eyes closed. The melody in Jiyong’s soft voice, bring my imagination to a scene of a cute chubby little fairy with cotton candy head dancing around on the cloud. I smile.
“… can you feel the warm sunshine?”
Yes, I can. Now there is a yellow light shine through the cloud making it glowing like a fluffy shiny dance floor, there even an aurora above it, surrounding it like a beautiful curtain.
Jiyong’s words works for me like a spell, the melody in his voice bring a magic. The old darkness now is filled with his laughter, his singing, his words and him. Now I see an angel’s figure sitting on the cloud, his back view is so breath taking, I imagine him as Jiyong, yes, Jiyong is my angel.
"Thank you Ji"
But, that just imagination, the angel never shows his front side because I can’t imagine Jiyong’s face. I need to wake up, although that world was beautiful I prefer reality, because there I can feel Jiyong, I can smell his scent, and I can touch him. So I open my eyes. We are still in the same position.
“Jiyong…”
“hmm…”
“Can I touch your face”
“Okay”
I flipped Jiyong’s body so he lay on the grass fully, then I lay near him makes us facing each other. My shaky hands start to touch his face, and I try my all to tame my crazy heartbeat and prevent the butterfly to burst from happiness. The first came to my mind is how soft his face is, then I start to advent further to his eyebrows, his eyelids, then his cute shaped nose. His soft cheeks, it so tender like a girl, I cup his face for a good measurement and God, his face is so tiny and soft in my hands. So Seungri right, he must be cute. I try to envision it all but it feel not enough. When my hands landed on his lips, I can feel his breathe hitch, so is mine. My thumb tracing it before I can stop myself, the urge to lean down and taste the seemingly like pouty lips is unbearable.
" Seunghyun..., do you know? " Come his soft voice, somehow his voice sounds a bit dreamy.
" What? "
" Your eyes is beautiful. I like it " I froze for a while before I smile as he bring his hands to my nose.
" And do you know? " I ask feeling my old self start to awake from it sleep.
"What? "
"I want to kiss you" I can’t wait him to answer as I already lean to him but stopped just right in front of his lips. Making sure I don’t aim it wrong.
"Ok..kay… " Jiyong’s voice become shaky
As the soft breathe coming right in front of my lips, confirming Jiyong’s lips position. I close the gap and capturing the lips with mine. It soft and sweet, I stay there to memorize how it feel and waiting. When I feel the pressure against my lips, my lips moving it own ways mirroring Jiyong motion and dancing together in perfect sync. It just brush of lips against lips,
When we pull from each other my heartbeat already doing a crazy beat, I’m sure Jiyong too because I can hear his wheezing breath.
We just lay there without saying a thing, trying to calm our heart and maybe just like me, playing the kiss over and over again in my head. Maybe I’m too drawn in my own world, I can’t remember how but Jiyong already pack his things when he nudge me with his toes and laugh at my startled reaction.
“Come one wake up prince, it’s getting dark, we should go home”
"And I’ll take you and Gaho home " say Jiyong.
“Are you sure? "
"Yup. I bring my bike. I want you to feel the wind. You are not afraid, do you? "
He said that with mischievous glint in his voice. Okay so to be honest I’m a bit scared.
I wrapped my arm around his waist from behind, Gaho put on the front. Wow the bastard really do whatever Jiyong said, want to win his heart do you? Back off, I will do that.
I want to put my chin on his shoulder like shitty romantic movie Seungri like to watch, but it will be a bit awkward because I’m taller than Jiyong. He tell me to spread my arm and feeling the sensation of the wind brushing my skin, and it feels awesome. I feel free and relax. Although its just 5 minutes, but it was the best 5 minutes in my life.
I walk into my house with wide grin, people my think I’m crazy but I don’t care. The giddy feeling start to win over me and I welcome it with open arm. My mother chuckle seeing this, then force me to sit and tell her everything.
“Omma… I think I’m in love” I say still dreamily
My mother gasp before giggling, maybe because she see my face who look like idiot right now.
“Who is the lucky lady? Or should I say the lucky boy?” This time me who is surprise, my mother just continue his giggling. That Seungri rascal.
“Ouw don’t mad at your dongsaeng honey, he just too happy for you. You know he can’t shut his mouth when he is happy. I always wonder how can he be a lawyer without spit it out his client’s secret”
Now we burst in laugh together, I think I learn my playful side from her.
“Now tell me about him”
So I tell her about Jiyong, everything from the beginning, well except the kiss. While I said that I keep repeating Jiyong’s words in my mind. ‘Live is beautiful Seunghyun’ he had said it when we part and I agree now. My life is beautiful, and Jiyong is one of beauty in it and I want to see it with my own eyes. I will try again.
“Omma…”
“Yes honey”
“I want to try it again….”
“…Let’s go to Germany and try again. I want to see again omma, I want to see him. And if it failed I don’t care, I want to prove to him that I’m not a coward, I want to prove to myself that I’m not useless” all the possible words choke in my throat after I said those word, that was my biggest fear and the feeling of finally can face it is too much.
“Oh my… Seunghyun…” The familiar comfort of my mother bring back the memories of her comfort everytime I was afraid to new surrounding and hide in her embrace, it makes me feel like child again, so fragile and open. I let everything out and wailing in her comfort.
“Yes… yes.. honey, we will try it again. We will, we will….”
-
There is good news. My father’s friend told us that his colleague who is a doctor he mention before say that there is high possibility for my eyes, and next week we will fly Germany to get the prosess. We all happy, Seungri can’t stop hug me over and over again, this is the first time I see him crying, he usually a tough guy. I can’t help but crying with them. Even the little rascal Gaho is barks and jumping ups and down.
I tell Jiyong and he hugs me so tight, I feel like I can’t breath. Then I realize he is crying without a sound.
“Hey, stop it. You will ruin my designer shirt” I try to lighten the mood and he punch me on the shoulder.
“Ya! I will ruin your shirt for real if you not comeback in one piece after this”
I hug him again and kiss his hair. This, I will come back for this, my beautiful life.
The next Sunday Jiyong pick me up at my house, my mother squealing like a teenage girl upon seeing Jiyong.
“Oh my God he is so cuuute” When Jiyong bowing and introduce himself my mother more than crazy.
“OMO you are so well mannered” Jiyong must be flashing his best smile or charm, I don’t really know but my mother is a mess now.
“OH MY Seunghyunniee…. How could you find adorable creature like him, look he is even blushing…”
I don’t know what else she say because I snatch Jiyong from her and tell Jiyong to guide me to run. So no wonder Seungri is crazy annoying, look who is his mother?
I gasp when Jiyong tell me where we are. It’s a hockey arena. He rent it for a day, as celebration he said. And I’m more than happy. It feels awkward because it’s been a long time I play it, beside last time I did it with my sight. But Jiyong reassuring words and his hands on me make me believe that I can.
“Just relax Seunghyun, tell me how to do it and I will guide you”
He help me, but because I’m taller our position is a bit awkward so we switch. He hold the stick and I envelope his body like I’m the one guide him, but the truth is he is the one who play, my hands just follow and feels. I don’t really care about the hockey, I just savor the feeling of his back press to my chest and his scents. I nuzzle my nose on his nape and he froze, the stick he hold fall to the ice arena. Now, the position is reverse, I hold him tight and he start to relax.
"I will be there for three weeks" I put my chin on his left shoulder
"Aaah.. I will miss you so much" He lean his head more, his head on my right shoulder, just a slightly.
" Ji..., I’m scared "
" Don’t be. I believe it will success”
" Not that "
" So? "
" I’m afraid if I can see again, I won't recognize you. How can I recognize you? You have to give me your picture "
He don’t say anything
" Don’t wanna "
" Why? "
" Because I believe you. I believe you would recognize me when you come back. Whatever the result, you have to come to me as soon as you arrive. Promise? "
" Okay, Promise " Then he kiss my cheeks
" Can I ask you something "
" What? "
" I wont to touch your face again. Memorize each part "
"Okay"
We change our position, now stand facing each other, he takes my hands and guide it to trace every curve or his face. I envision it once again, this time carefully. And he is cute, beautiful.
And I
I love him so much, I will tell him when I’m back.
-
Three weeks like a torture, but it worth. My operation success, finally I can see the world again. We are all happy, even my compose father is crying. Seungri is like usual, give me his breaking hugs. And me, I’m so happy I can see my family again, seeing the most important person in my life. There is one other important person I want to see.
Jiyong
I can see them again, see the world
And finally I can see you for the first time
As soon as I got home, I go find Jiyong as I promise. Jiyong don’t want me to call him or send him a text. So I straight to the park, but he isn’t there.. Where are you?
I wait there until noon, still no trace. Ah, maybe he already at the library. I straight to the library, and here I am, looking left and right, my heart start to tremble from the tension. And my eyes landed on one figure at the aisle, a petite figure with pink hair. Pink?
I know its him
Jiyong…
Standing in the aisle, re-arrange some book. I look more closely, long petite fingers working delicately over some worn out book, even his fingers is cute. My eye travel to his arm, is that a tattoo? I try to read it ‘Moderato’, I may or may not understand the meaning. Interesting. He turn left, now I can see his backside. Broad shoulder and slim waist, I have the urge to run my hands to it and measuring the curve.
He turn again, and my eyes landed on the part I want to see the most, the one I’ve leave the trace of my fingers on it. His face
It’s perfect.
I close my eyes try to remember every touch and every curve of his face. Just to make sure if it’s him. And yes, it’s him. My body feels weak. Legs start to move, but…
No…
I want to savor this moment a little longer. I look at him again and realize that my imagination is nothing compared to what real. The Jiyong in my blind mind is beauty, but Jiyong in reality is perfect.
I find my time watching him is never boring, because he just like what I thought would be. Every gesture is animated. His face is full of expression. When he pout he can be the most adorable sulking kids, when he frown his eyebrows and nose will make a cutest expression, and when he laugh, that melodic voice of his even more live with his body backward and hands try to hide his gummy smile. Ah his smile, no wonder my mother crazy over it. Even my heart squeezing until I start to doubt my health.
He finish his work and prepared to leave and slung his guitar on his shoulder. I follow him. I start to feeling like a stalker. He wait for his bus, I’m sure he want to go to the café like he had told me before. I keep following him to bus, looking at him from afar. The bus is stuffy so it help me to hide behind other passenger, but my eyes never leave him. I feel like creepy stalker, I hope he don’t feel anything wrong.
The café name turn out to be ‘Bird Spring’ as I read it at the name board. So this is the place where he sing. I find a place a bit far from the stage, its very crowded café.
I see Jiyong chats with some people. He laugh, I smile. He daze me with his charm. Until the time…
He walk gracely to the stage, the audience seems already waiting for his performance. They are clapping and shouting.
“G’night everyone! Are you ready?”
“YEESS!”
“Let’s go”
He start to play his guitar, long fingers dancing on the string gracefully in perfect harmony. It’s remind me of rain. The melody by the string is the pitter patter or the rain, and his dancing fingers is the dancing bubbly of rain drops.
He begin to sing, all the world stop. It just me and him at the park.
I remember the voice, this is the voice I fall in love to.
It’s melodic, hypnotize.
Now I found the melody I yearned for, a melody that can bring color even in my dark world.
The melody is in you
Clapping voice wake me up from my trance, I see he start to preparing his second song. I start to stand up, this is the time.
“ KWON JIYONG!!! “ I shout with all my power, the audience stops suddenly, maybe because my baritone voice. Good.
He turn his head left and right, try to search the owner of the voice. Until he see me. Our eyes met, he froze with his eyes and mouth wide open. But then he smile. I can’t make my gaze away from his, he seems feel the same.
People start looking at me and murmuring something, that’s when I start to realize what I really do. Oh God I must be crazy. I start to lower my gaze and fidgeting.
“ CHOI SEUNGHYUN!! “ He call me. His voice is more clear because he using microphone. God, what should I do? I decided to fuck my pride and play on.
“ I LOVE YOU KWON JIYONG!! “
“ I LOVE YOU TOO CHOI SEUNGHYUN! “ He answers me with his blinding smile then run to my open arm.
I’m to happy until I feel like crazy
Crazy over you
“Why you not telling me earlier and decide to make a show there?”
“I just want to watching you more, beside I want to see how ugly your face when you snore at the bus”
“YA!” Jiyong shouts and stand abruptly, making me jump.
“Kwon Jiyong, comeback here! I’m not done yet with you” I run to him and make him sit on my lap again.
“Just how many times you want to roaming your big hands on my face again? I have needs too, I need to pee.” He whines and glaring at me, still fidgeting on my lap. I chuckle because his glare mixed with pouty lips is too adorable.
Author: skyfeet and mymiaa
Pairing: GTOP
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Belong to God
Summary: Seunghyun really likes listening to Jiyong singing. unfortunately he couldn't see his beautiful face.
Note: The first serious project with my friend, Mia
Jiyong turn out to be the most bubbly person I’ve ever met. On the way to our destination he keep talking and talking about everything. I don’t mind at all because his voice is like a beautiful melody, and his whiny voice can make a soft lullaby. I’m willing to give all my time hearing this.
Not to mention his soft tiny hands that hold me and guide me all the time we walk. I have this urge to caress his palm and play with his fingers, because it so soft and tiny in my palm.
[Read More...]The way he mention it make me intrigued to know more about his friend Daesung who he mention as ‘Mr never stop smiling’, Jiyong said sometimes it makes him wonder if Daesung sanity level was alright, or this Youngbae boy who always stubborn and dancing everywhere at any moments. Although he said this two annoy him to death, I don’t miss the glint of amusement in his voice. He seems really love his friends.
“You know, Daesung’s nose is big, but his eyes so small. And Youngbae, OMG he insist on braids his hair although his mom say it look ridiculous” Jiyong say.
My favorite part of it is in the end of his babbling he will laughing and giggling, if the shaking that vibrated through our clasp hands and the sharp intake of breathe indicate anything, I’m so can picturing his shaking figure while holding his stomach every time he laugh.
Jiyong is a ball of expression. Even the way he talks is animated and full of expression. He is so open and expressive, even a blind person like me can see it and picturing it just by the way his voice sounds. It makes me wants to know him more and to know the expression he made and or how his move every time he talks for real, not just some imagination. And his face.
I was still in my world picturing Jiyong when he is stop and I bump into him, he is quick to response and prevent our head to smack to each other, but the effort makes his palm landed on my chest. It just a brief second, but my heart already doing double dance just by the little contact, maybe it because I lack of skin-ship.
Apparently we arrive at our destination, by the clement breeze that greet me and lack of warm sunshine against my skin I guess it bellow the tree. He guides me to sit, Gaho follow next to me, but as soon as Jiyong sit beside me the rascal climb to Jiyong’s lap, I guess he make himself at home there. Traitor
Seems like Jiyong already prepared for this, he put out various foods for picnic from he said his backpack. I didn’t even know he bringing backpack all along. Even some for Gaho, ugh that traitor don’t know how lucky he is. My expression must be show something because the next thing I heard is his laughter and a ‘Don’t put that face, you look too adorable like that’. What I know is my face must be blushing madly after that, I know it, because I feel it’s hot. Suddenly my throat feels dry.
“Water” I ask him
He guide my hands to touch the drink and I can’t help but feeling the warm that soon disappear. I have the urge to took that hands again and feeling the warm against my palm.
“Do you want me to feed you?” The question caught me off guard, I almost choke on my drink. But I don’t mind it if the next thing I get is his melodic laughter. I promise to myself I will make him laugh more.
“Hahaa… sorry, your silly expression is too adorable. I can’t stop myself for teasing you. Here, at 1 o’clock there are Kimbab, next to it is scramble egg roll, 12 o’clock there are chicken tempura and broccoli tempura. Last is your drink at 11 o’clock.” He gives me direction and put my chopstick on my palm.
I wonder where he learned to give a blind person a direction, because people who don’t know blind people will forget the detail.
“Your dongsaeng, Seungri who teach me this, in case you are wondering. He is good dongsaeng you know”
Yess he is, really amazing dongsaeng.
“But everytime I see him I can’t help to think he look like a panda” Now is my turn to burst in laughter, he has a point on that.
“A cute panda then, because he is cute too” And now I’m a bit jealous. God what happen to me, since when I’m such a bipolar?
I finally have the courage to ask about him and he tell me everything about him. With him is always feel comfortable, it strange because I just know him, but he have this kind of charm that make people feel like they are close friends. But it’s not his only charm. The more I know him the more I know how amazing he truly is. He has a big dream to become a singer, and he says it proudly, not even a flash of ashamed in his voice although he isn’t reach his dream yet. The determined in his voice every time he said about how he will try and never give up send shiver to me, make me feel ashamed of myself, of how coward myself. Jiyong who his parents don’t have enough money to send him to college never give up his dream and working his ass off. And me, whom parents provide everything, just decide to give up because I was too afraid and tired of trying.
And it’s like that not enough to impress me, he tell me how he do three work everyday. Morning he is a street singer ‘it fun and sometimes the tips is good’ he said, then at library to support his tuition, and when the night come he will sing at a café near his campus ‘I need more money and singing is my hobby, so why not?’ he told me. Not even a word ‘tired’ ever escapes his lips, what I heard is ‘fun’ with clear amusement.
I think he makes me too comfortable, without realize I start to tell him about me. How bastard I used to be and how sorry I feel now. And when the story reach at what turn me into blind person, my palm start to sweaty, heartbeat race with fear. Jiyong must be seeing this, he took my hands and clasp it together with his, grip it tightly in comforting manner. I’m here it say.
I feel grateful to the gesture, that’s what I need right now. It encourages me to continue more and start to open myself to him. It makes me less awkward. And I tell him my doubt, how tired of trying I already am, and my fear to go through the same pain process just to feel disappointed in the end because it’s result nothing.
By the time I finished my story, Jiyong come closer to me and envelope his body to mine, the simple gesture makes my heart squeeze, the sudden affection touch my hear deep until I start teary. This amount of warmness feel foreign to me, but I like it, is this why people say love is amazing? It so overwhelming, there is no word to describe.
We lay down in the grass, this time not under the three because I can feel the warm of sunshine against me as we facing what I assume is the sky. Long thin fingers intertwine with mine, a thumb caressing the side of my palm in shooting manner. I have mixed feeling about this, relax by the caress but also feel giddy of our close proximately.
“You know, the sky is so blue right now. It’s beautiful”
“Is that so, it such a shame I can’t see it”
“You can”
“Huh?” I look at him with the most ‘are you crazy’ stare a blind person could muster.
“You can see it, follow me”
“What do you mean…”
My question cut off by his palm flat on my chest, here we comes the butterfly. I feel it press a little as rustling voice could be heard from where Jiyong lay down. The next thing I know is his scent get stronger and stronger until I can feel his warm body so close to mine. Okay RED ALERT! IT’S TOO CLOSE!
Okay, so the thing is although I’m blind, that’s not stop the fact that I’m a healthy Korean man who have his needs and fucking hormone. So having the one I desire this close to me, not to mention my sensitive ear who can hear his breath clearly, is the biggest torture ever. Now what in my head is how to reach him, hold him and kiss him senseless. Seunghyun, control you pervert self. Idiot !
"Close your eyes " He put his fingers on each of my eyelids
"You’ve seen the sky before, right? "
"Uhm.. " all I can do is nod and do as he said, oh God I sounds like an idiot
"Now, listen to me and do as I say…"
I don’t know if he is really innocent or he is normally bold. Because now I can feel his breathe near my ear, his lips almost touching my earlobe, cheeks touching. Half of his body press to mine, I can feel his wild heartbeat against my side. At least I know his heart as excited as mine. I gasp when his right legs boldly make himself comfortable between my thighs. Oh God
Believe me Jiyong, I’ll do anything without second thought because my sanity start to crumble when you press your body like this. You don’t know what kind of lion sleeping in here.
I bit my lips to prevent my body to move and do embarrassing thing.
"Imagine you are in the grassland, it’s all green and beautiful. Then you lay down on it, the soft breeze brushing your hair teasingly let the mother nature caressing your hair. Then you look at the sky, it beautiful blue with white touch of the fluffy cloud. Yes, the cloud, it so fluffy like soft bed and make you want to come there and touch it….”
The beautiful voice sounds more seductive from close, I found myself drawn in it and do what he ask obediently. Now I can see it all with my eyes closed. The melody in Jiyong’s soft voice, bring my imagination to a scene of a cute chubby little fairy with cotton candy head dancing around on the cloud. I smile.
“… can you feel the warm sunshine?”
Yes, I can. Now there is a yellow light shine through the cloud making it glowing like a fluffy shiny dance floor, there even an aurora above it, surrounding it like a beautiful curtain.
Jiyong’s words works for me like a spell, the melody in his voice bring a magic. The old darkness now is filled with his laughter, his singing, his words and him. Now I see an angel’s figure sitting on the cloud, his back view is so breath taking, I imagine him as Jiyong, yes, Jiyong is my angel.
"Thank you Ji"
But, that just imagination, the angel never shows his front side because I can’t imagine Jiyong’s face. I need to wake up, although that world was beautiful I prefer reality, because there I can feel Jiyong, I can smell his scent, and I can touch him. So I open my eyes. We are still in the same position.
“Jiyong…”
“hmm…”
“Can I touch your face”
“Okay”
I flipped Jiyong’s body so he lay on the grass fully, then I lay near him makes us facing each other. My shaky hands start to touch his face, and I try my all to tame my crazy heartbeat and prevent the butterfly to burst from happiness. The first came to my mind is how soft his face is, then I start to advent further to his eyebrows, his eyelids, then his cute shaped nose. His soft cheeks, it so tender like a girl, I cup his face for a good measurement and God, his face is so tiny and soft in my hands. So Seungri right, he must be cute. I try to envision it all but it feel not enough. When my hands landed on his lips, I can feel his breathe hitch, so is mine. My thumb tracing it before I can stop myself, the urge to lean down and taste the seemingly like pouty lips is unbearable.
" Seunghyun..., do you know? " Come his soft voice, somehow his voice sounds a bit dreamy.
" What? "
" Your eyes is beautiful. I like it " I froze for a while before I smile as he bring his hands to my nose.
" And do you know? " I ask feeling my old self start to awake from it sleep.
"What? "
"I want to kiss you" I can’t wait him to answer as I already lean to him but stopped just right in front of his lips. Making sure I don’t aim it wrong.
"Ok..kay… " Jiyong’s voice become shaky
As the soft breathe coming right in front of my lips, confirming Jiyong’s lips position. I close the gap and capturing the lips with mine. It soft and sweet, I stay there to memorize how it feel and waiting. When I feel the pressure against my lips, my lips moving it own ways mirroring Jiyong motion and dancing together in perfect sync. It just brush of lips against lips,
When we pull from each other my heartbeat already doing a crazy beat, I’m sure Jiyong too because I can hear his wheezing breath.
We just lay there without saying a thing, trying to calm our heart and maybe just like me, playing the kiss over and over again in my head. Maybe I’m too drawn in my own world, I can’t remember how but Jiyong already pack his things when he nudge me with his toes and laugh at my startled reaction.
“Come one wake up prince, it’s getting dark, we should go home”
"And I’ll take you and Gaho home " say Jiyong.
“Are you sure? "
"Yup. I bring my bike. I want you to feel the wind. You are not afraid, do you? "
He said that with mischievous glint in his voice. Okay so to be honest I’m a bit scared.
I wrapped my arm around his waist from behind, Gaho put on the front. Wow the bastard really do whatever Jiyong said, want to win his heart do you? Back off, I will do that.
I want to put my chin on his shoulder like shitty romantic movie Seungri like to watch, but it will be a bit awkward because I’m taller than Jiyong. He tell me to spread my arm and feeling the sensation of the wind brushing my skin, and it feels awesome. I feel free and relax. Although its just 5 minutes, but it was the best 5 minutes in my life.
I walk into my house with wide grin, people my think I’m crazy but I don’t care. The giddy feeling start to win over me and I welcome it with open arm. My mother chuckle seeing this, then force me to sit and tell her everything.
“Omma… I think I’m in love” I say still dreamily
My mother gasp before giggling, maybe because she see my face who look like idiot right now.
“Who is the lucky lady? Or should I say the lucky boy?” This time me who is surprise, my mother just continue his giggling. That Seungri rascal.
“Ouw don’t mad at your dongsaeng honey, he just too happy for you. You know he can’t shut his mouth when he is happy. I always wonder how can he be a lawyer without spit it out his client’s secret”
Now we burst in laugh together, I think I learn my playful side from her.
“Now tell me about him”
So I tell her about Jiyong, everything from the beginning, well except the kiss. While I said that I keep repeating Jiyong’s words in my mind. ‘Live is beautiful Seunghyun’ he had said it when we part and I agree now. My life is beautiful, and Jiyong is one of beauty in it and I want to see it with my own eyes. I will try again.
“Omma…”
“Yes honey”
“I want to try it again….”
“…Let’s go to Germany and try again. I want to see again omma, I want to see him. And if it failed I don’t care, I want to prove to him that I’m not a coward, I want to prove to myself that I’m not useless” all the possible words choke in my throat after I said those word, that was my biggest fear and the feeling of finally can face it is too much.
“Oh my… Seunghyun…” The familiar comfort of my mother bring back the memories of her comfort everytime I was afraid to new surrounding and hide in her embrace, it makes me feel like child again, so fragile and open. I let everything out and wailing in her comfort.
“Yes… yes.. honey, we will try it again. We will, we will….”
-
There is good news. My father’s friend told us that his colleague who is a doctor he mention before say that there is high possibility for my eyes, and next week we will fly Germany to get the prosess. We all happy, Seungri can’t stop hug me over and over again, this is the first time I see him crying, he usually a tough guy. I can’t help but crying with them. Even the little rascal Gaho is barks and jumping ups and down.
I tell Jiyong and he hugs me so tight, I feel like I can’t breath. Then I realize he is crying without a sound.
“Hey, stop it. You will ruin my designer shirt” I try to lighten the mood and he punch me on the shoulder.
“Ya! I will ruin your shirt for real if you not comeback in one piece after this”
I hug him again and kiss his hair. This, I will come back for this, my beautiful life.
The next Sunday Jiyong pick me up at my house, my mother squealing like a teenage girl upon seeing Jiyong.
“Oh my God he is so cuuute” When Jiyong bowing and introduce himself my mother more than crazy.
“OMO you are so well mannered” Jiyong must be flashing his best smile or charm, I don’t really know but my mother is a mess now.
“OH MY Seunghyunniee…. How could you find adorable creature like him, look he is even blushing…”
I don’t know what else she say because I snatch Jiyong from her and tell Jiyong to guide me to run. So no wonder Seungri is crazy annoying, look who is his mother?
I gasp when Jiyong tell me where we are. It’s a hockey arena. He rent it for a day, as celebration he said. And I’m more than happy. It feels awkward because it’s been a long time I play it, beside last time I did it with my sight. But Jiyong reassuring words and his hands on me make me believe that I can.
“Just relax Seunghyun, tell me how to do it and I will guide you”
He help me, but because I’m taller our position is a bit awkward so we switch. He hold the stick and I envelope his body like I’m the one guide him, but the truth is he is the one who play, my hands just follow and feels. I don’t really care about the hockey, I just savor the feeling of his back press to my chest and his scents. I nuzzle my nose on his nape and he froze, the stick he hold fall to the ice arena. Now, the position is reverse, I hold him tight and he start to relax.
"I will be there for three weeks" I put my chin on his left shoulder
"Aaah.. I will miss you so much" He lean his head more, his head on my right shoulder, just a slightly.
" Ji..., I’m scared "
" Don’t be. I believe it will success”
" Not that "
" So? "
" I’m afraid if I can see again, I won't recognize you. How can I recognize you? You have to give me your picture "
He don’t say anything
" Don’t wanna "
" Why? "
" Because I believe you. I believe you would recognize me when you come back. Whatever the result, you have to come to me as soon as you arrive. Promise? "
" Okay, Promise " Then he kiss my cheeks
" Can I ask you something "
" What? "
" I wont to touch your face again. Memorize each part "
"Okay"
We change our position, now stand facing each other, he takes my hands and guide it to trace every curve or his face. I envision it once again, this time carefully. And he is cute, beautiful.
And I
I love him so much, I will tell him when I’m back.
-
Three weeks like a torture, but it worth. My operation success, finally I can see the world again. We are all happy, even my compose father is crying. Seungri is like usual, give me his breaking hugs. And me, I’m so happy I can see my family again, seeing the most important person in my life. There is one other important person I want to see.
Jiyong
I can see them again, see the world
And finally I can see you for the first time
As soon as I got home, I go find Jiyong as I promise. Jiyong don’t want me to call him or send him a text. So I straight to the park, but he isn’t there.. Where are you?
I wait there until noon, still no trace. Ah, maybe he already at the library. I straight to the library, and here I am, looking left and right, my heart start to tremble from the tension. And my eyes landed on one figure at the aisle, a petite figure with pink hair. Pink?
I know its him
Jiyong…
Standing in the aisle, re-arrange some book. I look more closely, long petite fingers working delicately over some worn out book, even his fingers is cute. My eye travel to his arm, is that a tattoo? I try to read it ‘Moderato’, I may or may not understand the meaning. Interesting. He turn left, now I can see his backside. Broad shoulder and slim waist, I have the urge to run my hands to it and measuring the curve.
He turn again, and my eyes landed on the part I want to see the most, the one I’ve leave the trace of my fingers on it. His face
It’s perfect.
I close my eyes try to remember every touch and every curve of his face. Just to make sure if it’s him. And yes, it’s him. My body feels weak. Legs start to move, but…
No…
I want to savor this moment a little longer. I look at him again and realize that my imagination is nothing compared to what real. The Jiyong in my blind mind is beauty, but Jiyong in reality is perfect.
I find my time watching him is never boring, because he just like what I thought would be. Every gesture is animated. His face is full of expression. When he pout he can be the most adorable sulking kids, when he frown his eyebrows and nose will make a cutest expression, and when he laugh, that melodic voice of his even more live with his body backward and hands try to hide his gummy smile. Ah his smile, no wonder my mother crazy over it. Even my heart squeezing until I start to doubt my health.
He finish his work and prepared to leave and slung his guitar on his shoulder. I follow him. I start to feeling like a stalker. He wait for his bus, I’m sure he want to go to the café like he had told me before. I keep following him to bus, looking at him from afar. The bus is stuffy so it help me to hide behind other passenger, but my eyes never leave him. I feel like creepy stalker, I hope he don’t feel anything wrong.
The café name turn out to be ‘Bird Spring’ as I read it at the name board. So this is the place where he sing. I find a place a bit far from the stage, its very crowded café.
I see Jiyong chats with some people. He laugh, I smile. He daze me with his charm. Until the time…
He walk gracely to the stage, the audience seems already waiting for his performance. They are clapping and shouting.
“G’night everyone! Are you ready?”
“YEESS!”
“Let’s go”
He start to play his guitar, long fingers dancing on the string gracefully in perfect harmony. It’s remind me of rain. The melody by the string is the pitter patter or the rain, and his dancing fingers is the dancing bubbly of rain drops.
He begin to sing, all the world stop. It just me and him at the park.
I remember the voice, this is the voice I fall in love to.
It’s melodic, hypnotize.
Now I found the melody I yearned for, a melody that can bring color even in my dark world.
The melody is in you
Clapping voice wake me up from my trance, I see he start to preparing his second song. I start to stand up, this is the time.
“ KWON JIYONG!!! “ I shout with all my power, the audience stops suddenly, maybe because my baritone voice. Good.
He turn his head left and right, try to search the owner of the voice. Until he see me. Our eyes met, he froze with his eyes and mouth wide open. But then he smile. I can’t make my gaze away from his, he seems feel the same.
People start looking at me and murmuring something, that’s when I start to realize what I really do. Oh God I must be crazy. I start to lower my gaze and fidgeting.
“ CHOI SEUNGHYUN!! “ He call me. His voice is more clear because he using microphone. God, what should I do? I decided to fuck my pride and play on.
“ I LOVE YOU KWON JIYONG!! “
“ I LOVE YOU TOO CHOI SEUNGHYUN! “ He answers me with his blinding smile then run to my open arm.
I’m to happy until I feel like crazy
Crazy over you
- END -
“Why you not telling me earlier and decide to make a show there?”
“I just want to watching you more, beside I want to see how ugly your face when you snore at the bus”
“YA!” Jiyong shouts and stand abruptly, making me jump.
“Kwon Jiyong, comeback here! I’m not done yet with you” I run to him and make him sit on my lap again.
“Just how many times you want to roaming your big hands on my face again? I have needs too, I need to pee.” He whines and glaring at me, still fidgeting on my lap. I chuckle because his glare mixed with pouty lips is too adorable.