Reconnect (Sequel)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, AU
Author: skyfeet
Pairing: GTOP
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Belong to God
Summary: Sequel to Disconnect. Jiyong and Seunghyun try to put together whatever shattered between them.
NO! This can’t be happening!
Seunghyun’s shaky hands keep punching the redial button again and again, but the answer from the other line still null. There is a tug in his heart, Seunghyun is stuck between surprise and denial. He refused to accept that Jiyong just telling him that they are over. He just said he don’t think he can continue this right? Jiyong still thinking, so there are still hopes.
[Read more...]With that thought in mind, Seunghyun dials Jiyong’s number over and over again until his fingers numbs. Until his chest tightened to the phase like he can’t breathe anymore, Seunghyun stops. Tears run down his cheeks as he can’t hold them, because it’s too suffocating, losing Jiyong is something Seunghyun will never agree to. As selfish as it’s sound.
08:17 SH to Ji: Baby I’m sorry… What r u talking about?
09:44 SH to Ji: Baby where r u? I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Please talk to me
12:40 SH to Ji: Baby… Ji… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… Please don’t leave… Please…
19:01 SH to Ji: Ji, Don’t do this to me!! Talk to me God damnit!
19:02 SH to Ji: I’m sorry I never mean to curse, it just too much, I can’t…
I’m bad, I’m bad but please forgive me. Come back to me… Please…
23:00 SH to Ji: Ji… I need you…
Seunghyun sigh, tossing his phone then throwing his body to the comfort of his bed. He needs some sleep, his body and soul exhausted by the amount of crying and calling. Thanks God, he doesn’t have anything to write today, because if he had his work will turn out as hell of anguish. Jiyong is the only thing he had in mind until he drifts to a slumber.
-
I need you too hyung, every part of me needs you
Jiyong still looking at his phone, scrolling the screen back and forth, contemplating whether he should write what in his mind and send it to Seunghyun or not. His heart ache reading Seunghyun’s pleading text, he almost surrenders and calling him back. Part of him wants to succumb, go to Seunghyun then hug him to say its okay now like usual. The other part of him knows that it’s not okay, there are big mountain between them called disconnection. And his heart still hurt, Jiyong is tired and numb.
He know Seunghyun, since they are best friend before, and still are. Seunghyun is the one who enjoy seclude of his solitude, but Jiyong thought he will spare his time a bit for his lovers. Or open a bit about his feeling. Now, obviously that’s not the case.
Looking at his sketch design, which turn out horrible with the trace of his already-dry tears, Jiyong groans loudly.
-
The dream Seunghyun had make things more horrible, in the dreams he saw Jiyong cried but he can’t do anything because Jiyong couldn’t hear him at all, it broke Seunghyun’s heart and haunts him with guilt until he wake up.
The first things he search is his phone, which usually is his last thing he search when he wake up. The irony make him chuckle bitterly. And there still no text or call from Jiyong.
Feeling like writing something, Seunghyun stroll to his work desk, but when the pen hit the paper he write nothing, just scribble some letters which turn out to be Jiyong’s name, and a doodles he assumes to be Jiyong’s smile.
Seunghyun check his phone again. Still nothing. Long fingers absentmindedly scrolling text message in his inbox, it’s not surprising almost all of it are from Jiyong. He never bother to check his phone or check whether his inbox full or not, because it’s no use. Not many people text him. He has many friends, but they know not to text him except for something important.
Hyung, have you eat?
Hyung, it’s rainy here don’t forget to bring umbrella when u out
Hyung r u okay? Why u didn’t text me back?
Hyung don’t forget to drink water when u work too much, and u need to exercise more :D
Hyung the weather is bad, don’t catch a cold ^^
Hyung, I saw this cute chubby kids on the street, he was eating ice cream all over his face. It remind me of u L I miss u
Hyung r u busy? Why not answering my call? Don’t work urself out okay. Don’t get sick. I miss u
Hyunnie… I miss u so much can I call u?
Oh, if u r busy okay then. Don’t work until late night, u will get sick. I don’t want u to get sick J
The last text feels like a slap on Seunghyun’s face, it hit hard straight to Seunghyun’s heart. He feels like the most terrible person in the world for lying this entire time, said that he tired, and all that bullshit about work when the truth are his selfish self just need a time alone.
“Stupid Jiyong, just how much you love this terrible man huh? How much I have been hurt you? Why you still worrying about me when all I do is bullshit?”
Hyunnie… u know that I love u right? Why I feel like u r ignoring me. Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry…
Was the last string that makes Seunghyun’s wall crumble into pieces. He abruptly dialing Jiyong’s number again and again until he heard the sweet voice.
“Hyung, I think I need a time…I..”
“Jj.. Ji…” Seunghyun’s voice choked, as soon as he hears Jiyong’s voice. His throats dry as the amount of tears threatening to fall.
“….”
“Ji… “ Seunghyun try again, but what heard next just his whimpering sounds as he broke to tears. He can hear Jiyong’s gasp from the other line but he can’t make coherent words to response.
“Don’t.. Don’t leave me please..I..I..n.. I need you Ji”
“Please… I’m begging you… Please…”
Seunghyun broke down in tears, hands still gripping his phone tightly, not wanting it to fall, he need to hear Jiyong’s voice.
“Oh God Hyunniee…”
And come the beautiful voice calling his nickname, just now he realizes how much he miss that voice calling him ‘hyunnie’. It always warms his heart. He was so stupid.
“Hushh… Calm down okay? I will be there in a few minutes”
With that Jiyong hung up the call as Seunghyun try to calming his heart. He is sitting on his couch with his head down when the door open and Jiyong arrive. Warm bodies enveloping his in comforting way, but all he can do just cry and say sorry until Jiyong silence him with a peck on his forehead.
“Sleep hyunnie, we can talk when you wake up”
He can feel Jiyong’s cold fingers brushing his skin as the owner try to change his clothes. A small smile plastered on his face as Jiyong snuggle closer to him and enveloping his body
-
Jiyong’s soft voice and a stroke on his cheeks wake Seunghyun from his deep slumber. When his eyes adjust to surrounding, he found Jiyong’s angelic face in front of him, with unreadable expression.
“Breakfast is ready. Clean yourself first hyung, I’ll wait there”
As he take a shower he can help but feel nervous, Jiyong doesn’t seem mad anymore, but his face still somewhat distance. At least he is here right? Seunghyun rush to the dinning room, Jiyong already eat his breakfast with his head down, not bothering to glance when Seunghyun enter the kitchen. Jiyong’s cold attitude starts to make him nervous.
“Sorry I just can make scramble eggs and this soup”
“Uhh… I like it!” Seunghyun try to break the ice with his bingu strike, but the narrow gaze from Jiyong make him gulp and eating his food like a beaten puppy. Bad Idea
The awkward silent don’t help his nervous at all, what heard just the sound of chopstick hitting the bowl and a slurp. Seunghyun almost choked when Jiyong slam his chopstick to the table, before he looking at Seunghyun with unreadable stare. Jiyong sigh deeply.
“We need to talk, I can’t eat with this unsolved problem”
Suddenly his appetite disappear and he sit there silently letting Jiyong release all his stress as his petit body walking back and forth near the kitchen counter. Rambling and whining about anything with that adorable expression and frantic move of his hands.
“You are adorable” Seunghyun blurt out without thinking. Shit! Wrong move
“What…??”
The look of disbelieve in Jiyong eyes is enough to make him want to dig a hole and buried his head until Jiyong forgive him.
“Seriously hyung… I can’t believe you just… When I’m here thinking like crazy how we can solve OUR relationship.”
Jiyong pause to sit and rubbing his temple, looking tired and really annoyed.
“Look, now what do you want hyung? Do you think words ‘sorry’ is enough to fix this? It’s NOT. Our string is broken, it’s over”
“NO! Don’t say that. You don’t understand, It’s me who...”
“That’s the problem, I can’t understand you. How could I understand you? if you never say what you feel or at least give me just bit of your time so I can understand you, so I won’t make you uncomfortable” at the last words Jiyong’s voice crack a bit
“I’m sorry Ji” Seunghyun hung his head as low as he can.
“Nope, don’t sorry if you not mean it. I don’t know why but I’ve got this feeling you never honest to me when you say ‘sorry I have work to do’.”
Jiyong’s narrow gaze sends shiver to Seunghyun, he feel ashamed of himself. He doesn’t have gut to say yes, he just lowering his head more and more.
“Gah… So it’s true you’ve been lying all this time? And there I was back then thinking of thousand reasons that could make you uncomfortable. I can’t believe I’m that stupid”
The hurts expression Jiyong’s wear break his heart. Seunghyun never feel lower than now.
“Look Ji, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t like talking on the phone, that makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t know how to explain this to you without upsetting you. So I lied. I’m sorry” This time Seunghyun scoot closer so he can reach Jiyong’s hands.
“And what about text?” Jiyong added diverting his face from Seunghyun’s
“Ugh… I don’t know. I don’t feel it necessary to texts back and forth.”
“But it really important to me hyung, I just wants to know if you are okay or have you eat yet. I just worry about you”
“I know Ji, I’m sorry I didn’t understand before” Seunghyun reach Jiyong’s hands again, this time Jiyong not swatting his hands.
“And why you don’t like talking on the phone that much?”
“Umm… that’s because I can’t see you. I feel like I talk to myself. Every time you tell a joke, I close my eyes and imagine you so I laugh. But when I open my eyes you gone so I got angry” He try to use his puppy eyes to the max, and feel relieve when it seems work.
“OMG you weird, but that’s not new”
“So we are okay?”
“We are okay, but I still not sure how we can fix this” Jiyong stand abruptly, Seunghyun start to panic. But soon feel relieve when Jiyong stop in the kitchen in attempt to wash the dishes. Seunghyun stop him and replace Jiyong to do the core.
“I will try to change okay? I can’t promise you to always text you back or make a call. But I can promise to send you more text and receive your call”
“Mm… that seems okay. But that’s not enough hyung. How if you not comfortable of it and leave me. It will hurt” Seunghyun pause his work, and look straight at Jiyong.
“I won’t, you know how much I need you Ji”
“Nope, I don’t know. Prove it and show me”
With that Jiyong storm to the front door, and grab his key. Seunghyun stops what he doing and run to him.
“Where are you going?”
“Working, I’m not a certain writer who work at his solitude called home”
And just like that Jiyong go, leaving Seunghyun confused. And as the buzzing sound of his phone snapped him up, Seunghyun’s face slowly change to mirth.
Ji to SH: Show me Hyunnie… So I can understand
-
Jiyong stretch his body, massage his shoulder and neck, it stiff due to his work and other thing, thanks to Seunghyun. Decides to take a brake for a while and have lunch. He checks his phone once in a while, already expect some text from Seunghyun, but until now there isn’t. He sigh and ready to go when the office boy came to his desk with a gift bag.
When he opens it, a green dinosaurs plush greets him. The big stupid face and puppy eyes remind him of Seunghyun, a words embroidered on its chest.
I’m sorry
Jiyong gasp, it’s from Seunghyun. Although Jiyong won’t fall to the trick he can’t help the butterfly fluttering in his stomach, so he place it safely on his table and leave for lunch with a big grin on his face.
At the cafeteria, when he just gonna place his order, the ahjumma stops him and handed him a bowl of meat soup with kimchi.
“But Ahjumma, I’m not ordering this” The ahjumma just smile and left after handed him the vitamin water with a note attached to it.
Have u eat? Don’t forget to drink vitamin when u work too much, and u need to eat more healthy food.
Jiyong scoop the soup and slurp it slowly, he don’t care about the taste because it Seunghyun’s. This is how Seunghyun show that he is care. Jiyong can’t help the tears flowing, he casually wipe it with the back of his hands and eat it with smile. Not bothering strange look from his friends. Meanwhile Seunghyun watch the scene from afar with a small smile, his lovely Jiyong always so sensitive over soft things.
In the middle of his chatter with his friends, a cute chubby kid gives Jiyong a cup of ice cream. Jiyong get confused and looking at his friends, but his friends just shook their head knowing nothing. When Jiyong try to refuse the gift because maybe this kid mistaken him. The cutie starts to cry and all eyes on Jiyong now, so he accepts it reluctantly.
“Look, there is a note” his friends Youngbae told him and took the card
I saw this cute chubby kids on the street, he was eating ice cream all over his face. I presents him to u, so u will remember me.
A rush of blood creeping to his cheeks, he run his palm on it and it’s hot. Jiyong wants to run before the butterfly in his stomach burst uncontrollable.
When Jiyong arrives at his desk, there is a pot of plants sitting nicely. A note tagged on the branch.
This is Seunghyun’s heart - It’s life depend on Jiyong’s pity
Jiyong laugh at how cheesy it sounds. He reach his phone and calls Seunghyun, but the line is busy. Jiyong pouts and continue his work, he refuse to be distracted by Seunghyun’s stunts.
By the time Jiyong finished his design it’s almost dark, he stop his work and heading home. He doesn’t use his care because his house is near, beside he like walking at night because it’s less crowd. A suspicious shopping bag catches his attention, a purple umbrella with white polka dots standing beside it. ‘For: Kwon Jiyong’ are written on the bag, and he know where it come from. He open it and see there is a fluffy coat, his favorite coat.
It will be cold tonight, don’t forget to use ur coat so u won’t get sick. And the umbrella? Because I see it at the shop and it’s cute, and u mention an umbrella in ur text too :D
“OMG I almost forget how random you are hyung”
So Jiyong walk home with a fluffy coat and an umbrella above his head. It’s not rainy, but it Seunghyun’s so whatever he just want to use it.
Fifteen minutes of walk, Jiyong arrive at his place. He frowns when the automatic light not lit. But there is light from above him. He look up and gasp, making his umbrella fall down on the floor, there is huge glow in the dark butterfly sticker and a note hanging from it.
‘It’s Jiyong to Seunghyun - You are this beautiful butterfly who turns out to be my only source of light in the darkness’
“Hyunniee…”
Jiyong begin to walk further, hobbling over because of the darkness. Something soft on his way and making him trip and fell clumsily on the floor. But not like what he expect, his face smacked to something soft. Seunghyun’s laugh reverberates through the entire room, and suddenly the lights on.
There he is sitting on Jiyong couch like a boss, laughing and holding his stomach. Jiyong’s glare and look away from Seunghyun, sulking. Just then he realize that the soft things he fell over is a ridiculous amounts of cute mini dragon plush which stacked very neatly on the floor like a soldier waiting for his king or queen. Jiyong’ eyes widened, mouth agape then close again try to make coherent words.
“What the…”
“That was me show my care for you, this is me give you all I can”
Seunghyun pause to take something from the table and give it to Jiyong, who still blinks try to process today’s events.
“Read it, this is the way I tell my heart to you. I’m not good at express words with my mouth, but I’m good at writing it.
Jiyong flip the letter with shaky hands and read it
To: the only light in my dark world
Part one: Light and Darkness
I live in the dark when you come to my life. The cozy place that I called home, the only place I could found a peace. And you walk carelessly to my territory, to my cavity. Ignoring the loud coldness I spread as a sign to step aside.
It’s funny how persistent a soft creature like you could be, keeps coming to a place as dark as my comfort, caressing a thing as cold as my heart. When others will just look and leave.
It’s annoyed me sometimes, the amounts of light you bring wherever you go. It’s too disturbing, too dazzling, out of my comfort zone. I found myself try to fortify my world form you, and it failed.
Slowly, I try to found the creak on my shield so I can see your light. I refuse to repair it for the shake of seeking your little warm. For the shake of my cold heart which throbs for your warm touch.
Now, your light becomes part of my dark world, now it won’t find it peace without the warm of your light.
Part two: Heart
My love,
What is it with my heart? They keep beating fast whenever you around
My love,
What is it with my heart? They feel empty when my mind not occupied by you
My love,
What is it with my heart? They are aching when you walk away
My love,
This stupid heart don’t know how to tell me that they aching for you
This stupid heart never tell me how much you mean to me
This stupid heart never scolds me for hurting you
My love,
I’m so sorry, I never learn how to listen to my heart
My love,
Would you forgive me?
My love,
Even I’m not worthy, this stupid heart still shouting your name
As much as my mistake, I will do better to fix it
My love,
Would you take me back?
Even if you wouldn’t,
………
Jiyong frown, flipping the letters again and again try to find where is the next words. The deep voice of his boyfriends snaps his attention.
“And even if you couldn’t…”
Jiyong took a deep breathe, preparing himself. Oh my… is this what I thought will be?
“There are words I was never able to say to you”
Seunghyun takes Jiyong hands in his and squeeze it.
”It won’t take long so please listen...”
There is a long pause as Seunghyun try to compose himself, cupping Jiyong’s face to look straight at his eyes.
"I love you more than anything in this world, You are the best thing that is mine. Losing you will never be the option"
There is a tears in Seunghyun’s eyes, he don’t care right now and leans to seal his lips with Jiyong’s. The kiss is sweet, nothing rush, just brush of lips which move in sync, but shares so many emotion that swelling in their heart. When they apart, Seunghyun feel content and smile to Jiyong.
“Seunghyun… Seunghyun… Seunghyun…I don’t know what I should do about you? You… You make my heart goes ups and down today with all your stunts”
Jiyong spins his body left and right, shouting and laughing. He never thought Seunghyun will go this far. But Seunghyun is Seunghyun, he is man of unexpected action. Seunghyun reach his hands and pull Jiyong to his body.
“So… am I accomplished my mission? Are we boyfriends again?”
“What are you talking about? Of course we are boyfriends, I never said about break up”
“Ohh...”
Is all Seunghyun can say, because Jiyong kiss his neck and shoulder with his legs wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist is really distracting. He whine when Jiyong’s stops his ministration and narrow his gaze.
“Oh wait, you have to promise me 2 things first”
“Uh huh..”
“One, you have to receive my call. Lets do it just once a week, it’s not hard is it?”
“Okay”
“Two, you don’t have to text me back all the time, just tell me if you have eat or anything so I’m not worry. Lets try to make it together, okay?”
“Okay”
“You don’t seems sincere…”
“Shut up, we will talk again, now I want to make a baby”
Seunghyun earn a smack at his head because this stupid comments
“We can’t have a baby, silly”
“Doesn’t matter,, I already give you a mountain of baby dragon”
The sweet sound of Jiyong’s laughter always gives a warm to Seunghyun’s heart, and he will never trade this to anything, even his solitude of darkness.
Author: skyfeet
Pairing: GTOP
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Belong to God
Summary: Sequel to Disconnect. Jiyong and Seunghyun try to put together whatever shattered between them.
NO! This can’t be happening!
Seunghyun’s shaky hands keep punching the redial button again and again, but the answer from the other line still null. There is a tug in his heart, Seunghyun is stuck between surprise and denial. He refused to accept that Jiyong just telling him that they are over. He just said he don’t think he can continue this right? Jiyong still thinking, so there are still hopes.
[Read more...]With that thought in mind, Seunghyun dials Jiyong’s number over and over again until his fingers numbs. Until his chest tightened to the phase like he can’t breathe anymore, Seunghyun stops. Tears run down his cheeks as he can’t hold them, because it’s too suffocating, losing Jiyong is something Seunghyun will never agree to. As selfish as it’s sound.
08:17 SH to Ji: Baby I’m sorry… What r u talking about?
09:44 SH to Ji: Baby where r u? I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Please talk to me
12:40 SH to Ji: Baby… Ji… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… Please don’t leave… Please…
19:01 SH to Ji: Ji, Don’t do this to me!! Talk to me God damnit!
19:02 SH to Ji: I’m sorry I never mean to curse, it just too much, I can’t…
I’m bad, I’m bad but please forgive me. Come back to me… Please…
23:00 SH to Ji: Ji… I need you…
Seunghyun sigh, tossing his phone then throwing his body to the comfort of his bed. He needs some sleep, his body and soul exhausted by the amount of crying and calling. Thanks God, he doesn’t have anything to write today, because if he had his work will turn out as hell of anguish. Jiyong is the only thing he had in mind until he drifts to a slumber.
-
I need you too hyung, every part of me needs you
Jiyong still looking at his phone, scrolling the screen back and forth, contemplating whether he should write what in his mind and send it to Seunghyun or not. His heart ache reading Seunghyun’s pleading text, he almost surrenders and calling him back. Part of him wants to succumb, go to Seunghyun then hug him to say its okay now like usual. The other part of him knows that it’s not okay, there are big mountain between them called disconnection. And his heart still hurt, Jiyong is tired and numb.
He know Seunghyun, since they are best friend before, and still are. Seunghyun is the one who enjoy seclude of his solitude, but Jiyong thought he will spare his time a bit for his lovers. Or open a bit about his feeling. Now, obviously that’s not the case.
Looking at his sketch design, which turn out horrible with the trace of his already-dry tears, Jiyong groans loudly.
-
The dream Seunghyun had make things more horrible, in the dreams he saw Jiyong cried but he can’t do anything because Jiyong couldn’t hear him at all, it broke Seunghyun’s heart and haunts him with guilt until he wake up.
The first things he search is his phone, which usually is his last thing he search when he wake up. The irony make him chuckle bitterly. And there still no text or call from Jiyong.
Feeling like writing something, Seunghyun stroll to his work desk, but when the pen hit the paper he write nothing, just scribble some letters which turn out to be Jiyong’s name, and a doodles he assumes to be Jiyong’s smile.
Seunghyun check his phone again. Still nothing. Long fingers absentmindedly scrolling text message in his inbox, it’s not surprising almost all of it are from Jiyong. He never bother to check his phone or check whether his inbox full or not, because it’s no use. Not many people text him. He has many friends, but they know not to text him except for something important.
Hyung, have you eat?
Hyung, it’s rainy here don’t forget to bring umbrella when u out
Hyung r u okay? Why u didn’t text me back?
Hyung don’t forget to drink water when u work too much, and u need to exercise more :D
Hyung the weather is bad, don’t catch a cold ^^
Hyung, I saw this cute chubby kids on the street, he was eating ice cream all over his face. It remind me of u L I miss u
Hyung r u busy? Why not answering my call? Don’t work urself out okay. Don’t get sick. I miss u
Hyunnie… I miss u so much can I call u?
Oh, if u r busy okay then. Don’t work until late night, u will get sick. I don’t want u to get sick J
The last text feels like a slap on Seunghyun’s face, it hit hard straight to Seunghyun’s heart. He feels like the most terrible person in the world for lying this entire time, said that he tired, and all that bullshit about work when the truth are his selfish self just need a time alone.
“Stupid Jiyong, just how much you love this terrible man huh? How much I have been hurt you? Why you still worrying about me when all I do is bullshit?”
Hyunnie… u know that I love u right? Why I feel like u r ignoring me. Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry…
Was the last string that makes Seunghyun’s wall crumble into pieces. He abruptly dialing Jiyong’s number again and again until he heard the sweet voice.
“Hyung, I think I need a time…I..”
“Jj.. Ji…” Seunghyun’s voice choked, as soon as he hears Jiyong’s voice. His throats dry as the amount of tears threatening to fall.
“….”
“Ji… “ Seunghyun try again, but what heard next just his whimpering sounds as he broke to tears. He can hear Jiyong’s gasp from the other line but he can’t make coherent words to response.
“Don’t.. Don’t leave me please..I..I..n.. I need you Ji”
“Please… I’m begging you… Please…”
Seunghyun broke down in tears, hands still gripping his phone tightly, not wanting it to fall, he need to hear Jiyong’s voice.
“Oh God Hyunniee…”
And come the beautiful voice calling his nickname, just now he realizes how much he miss that voice calling him ‘hyunnie’. It always warms his heart. He was so stupid.
“Hushh… Calm down okay? I will be there in a few minutes”
With that Jiyong hung up the call as Seunghyun try to calming his heart. He is sitting on his couch with his head down when the door open and Jiyong arrive. Warm bodies enveloping his in comforting way, but all he can do just cry and say sorry until Jiyong silence him with a peck on his forehead.
“Sleep hyunnie, we can talk when you wake up”
He can feel Jiyong’s cold fingers brushing his skin as the owner try to change his clothes. A small smile plastered on his face as Jiyong snuggle closer to him and enveloping his body
-
Jiyong’s soft voice and a stroke on his cheeks wake Seunghyun from his deep slumber. When his eyes adjust to surrounding, he found Jiyong’s angelic face in front of him, with unreadable expression.
“Breakfast is ready. Clean yourself first hyung, I’ll wait there”
As he take a shower he can help but feel nervous, Jiyong doesn’t seem mad anymore, but his face still somewhat distance. At least he is here right? Seunghyun rush to the dinning room, Jiyong already eat his breakfast with his head down, not bothering to glance when Seunghyun enter the kitchen. Jiyong’s cold attitude starts to make him nervous.
“Sorry I just can make scramble eggs and this soup”
“Uhh… I like it!” Seunghyun try to break the ice with his bingu strike, but the narrow gaze from Jiyong make him gulp and eating his food like a beaten puppy. Bad Idea
The awkward silent don’t help his nervous at all, what heard just the sound of chopstick hitting the bowl and a slurp. Seunghyun almost choked when Jiyong slam his chopstick to the table, before he looking at Seunghyun with unreadable stare. Jiyong sigh deeply.
“We need to talk, I can’t eat with this unsolved problem”
Suddenly his appetite disappear and he sit there silently letting Jiyong release all his stress as his petit body walking back and forth near the kitchen counter. Rambling and whining about anything with that adorable expression and frantic move of his hands.
“You are adorable” Seunghyun blurt out without thinking. Shit! Wrong move
“What…??”
The look of disbelieve in Jiyong eyes is enough to make him want to dig a hole and buried his head until Jiyong forgive him.
“Seriously hyung… I can’t believe you just… When I’m here thinking like crazy how we can solve OUR relationship.”
Jiyong pause to sit and rubbing his temple, looking tired and really annoyed.
“Look, now what do you want hyung? Do you think words ‘sorry’ is enough to fix this? It’s NOT. Our string is broken, it’s over”
“NO! Don’t say that. You don’t understand, It’s me who...”
“That’s the problem, I can’t understand you. How could I understand you? if you never say what you feel or at least give me just bit of your time so I can understand you, so I won’t make you uncomfortable” at the last words Jiyong’s voice crack a bit
“I’m sorry Ji” Seunghyun hung his head as low as he can.
“Nope, don’t sorry if you not mean it. I don’t know why but I’ve got this feeling you never honest to me when you say ‘sorry I have work to do’.”
Jiyong’s narrow gaze sends shiver to Seunghyun, he feel ashamed of himself. He doesn’t have gut to say yes, he just lowering his head more and more.
“Gah… So it’s true you’ve been lying all this time? And there I was back then thinking of thousand reasons that could make you uncomfortable. I can’t believe I’m that stupid”
The hurts expression Jiyong’s wear break his heart. Seunghyun never feel lower than now.
“Look Ji, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t like talking on the phone, that makes me uncomfortable. And I don’t know how to explain this to you without upsetting you. So I lied. I’m sorry” This time Seunghyun scoot closer so he can reach Jiyong’s hands.
“And what about text?” Jiyong added diverting his face from Seunghyun’s
“Ugh… I don’t know. I don’t feel it necessary to texts back and forth.”
“But it really important to me hyung, I just wants to know if you are okay or have you eat yet. I just worry about you”
“I know Ji, I’m sorry I didn’t understand before” Seunghyun reach Jiyong’s hands again, this time Jiyong not swatting his hands.
“And why you don’t like talking on the phone that much?”
“Umm… that’s because I can’t see you. I feel like I talk to myself. Every time you tell a joke, I close my eyes and imagine you so I laugh. But when I open my eyes you gone so I got angry” He try to use his puppy eyes to the max, and feel relieve when it seems work.
“OMG you weird, but that’s not new”
“So we are okay?”
“We are okay, but I still not sure how we can fix this” Jiyong stand abruptly, Seunghyun start to panic. But soon feel relieve when Jiyong stop in the kitchen in attempt to wash the dishes. Seunghyun stop him and replace Jiyong to do the core.
“I will try to change okay? I can’t promise you to always text you back or make a call. But I can promise to send you more text and receive your call”
“Mm… that seems okay. But that’s not enough hyung. How if you not comfortable of it and leave me. It will hurt” Seunghyun pause his work, and look straight at Jiyong.
“I won’t, you know how much I need you Ji”
“Nope, I don’t know. Prove it and show me”
With that Jiyong storm to the front door, and grab his key. Seunghyun stops what he doing and run to him.
“Where are you going?”
“Working, I’m not a certain writer who work at his solitude called home”
And just like that Jiyong go, leaving Seunghyun confused. And as the buzzing sound of his phone snapped him up, Seunghyun’s face slowly change to mirth.
Ji to SH: Show me Hyunnie… So I can understand
-
Jiyong stretch his body, massage his shoulder and neck, it stiff due to his work and other thing, thanks to Seunghyun. Decides to take a brake for a while and have lunch. He checks his phone once in a while, already expect some text from Seunghyun, but until now there isn’t. He sigh and ready to go when the office boy came to his desk with a gift bag.
When he opens it, a green dinosaurs plush greets him. The big stupid face and puppy eyes remind him of Seunghyun, a words embroidered on its chest.
I’m sorry
Jiyong gasp, it’s from Seunghyun. Although Jiyong won’t fall to the trick he can’t help the butterfly fluttering in his stomach, so he place it safely on his table and leave for lunch with a big grin on his face.
At the cafeteria, when he just gonna place his order, the ahjumma stops him and handed him a bowl of meat soup with kimchi.
“But Ahjumma, I’m not ordering this” The ahjumma just smile and left after handed him the vitamin water with a note attached to it.
Have u eat? Don’t forget to drink vitamin when u work too much, and u need to eat more healthy food.
Jiyong scoop the soup and slurp it slowly, he don’t care about the taste because it Seunghyun’s. This is how Seunghyun show that he is care. Jiyong can’t help the tears flowing, he casually wipe it with the back of his hands and eat it with smile. Not bothering strange look from his friends. Meanwhile Seunghyun watch the scene from afar with a small smile, his lovely Jiyong always so sensitive over soft things.
In the middle of his chatter with his friends, a cute chubby kid gives Jiyong a cup of ice cream. Jiyong get confused and looking at his friends, but his friends just shook their head knowing nothing. When Jiyong try to refuse the gift because maybe this kid mistaken him. The cutie starts to cry and all eyes on Jiyong now, so he accepts it reluctantly.
“Look, there is a note” his friends Youngbae told him and took the card
I saw this cute chubby kids on the street, he was eating ice cream all over his face. I presents him to u, so u will remember me.
A rush of blood creeping to his cheeks, he run his palm on it and it’s hot. Jiyong wants to run before the butterfly in his stomach burst uncontrollable.
When Jiyong arrives at his desk, there is a pot of plants sitting nicely. A note tagged on the branch.
This is Seunghyun’s heart - It’s life depend on Jiyong’s pity
Jiyong laugh at how cheesy it sounds. He reach his phone and calls Seunghyun, but the line is busy. Jiyong pouts and continue his work, he refuse to be distracted by Seunghyun’s stunts.
By the time Jiyong finished his design it’s almost dark, he stop his work and heading home. He doesn’t use his care because his house is near, beside he like walking at night because it’s less crowd. A suspicious shopping bag catches his attention, a purple umbrella with white polka dots standing beside it. ‘For: Kwon Jiyong’ are written on the bag, and he know where it come from. He open it and see there is a fluffy coat, his favorite coat.
It will be cold tonight, don’t forget to use ur coat so u won’t get sick. And the umbrella? Because I see it at the shop and it’s cute, and u mention an umbrella in ur text too :D
“OMG I almost forget how random you are hyung”
So Jiyong walk home with a fluffy coat and an umbrella above his head. It’s not rainy, but it Seunghyun’s so whatever he just want to use it.
Fifteen minutes of walk, Jiyong arrive at his place. He frowns when the automatic light not lit. But there is light from above him. He look up and gasp, making his umbrella fall down on the floor, there is huge glow in the dark butterfly sticker and a note hanging from it.
‘It’s Jiyong to Seunghyun - You are this beautiful butterfly who turns out to be my only source of light in the darkness’
“Hyunniee…”
Jiyong begin to walk further, hobbling over because of the darkness. Something soft on his way and making him trip and fell clumsily on the floor. But not like what he expect, his face smacked to something soft. Seunghyun’s laugh reverberates through the entire room, and suddenly the lights on.
There he is sitting on Jiyong couch like a boss, laughing and holding his stomach. Jiyong’s glare and look away from Seunghyun, sulking. Just then he realize that the soft things he fell over is a ridiculous amounts of cute mini dragon plush which stacked very neatly on the floor like a soldier waiting for his king or queen. Jiyong’ eyes widened, mouth agape then close again try to make coherent words.
“What the…”
“That was me show my care for you, this is me give you all I can”
Seunghyun pause to take something from the table and give it to Jiyong, who still blinks try to process today’s events.
“Read it, this is the way I tell my heart to you. I’m not good at express words with my mouth, but I’m good at writing it.
Jiyong flip the letter with shaky hands and read it
To: the only light in my dark world
Part one: Light and Darkness
I live in the dark when you come to my life. The cozy place that I called home, the only place I could found a peace. And you walk carelessly to my territory, to my cavity. Ignoring the loud coldness I spread as a sign to step aside.
It’s funny how persistent a soft creature like you could be, keeps coming to a place as dark as my comfort, caressing a thing as cold as my heart. When others will just look and leave.
It’s annoyed me sometimes, the amounts of light you bring wherever you go. It’s too disturbing, too dazzling, out of my comfort zone. I found myself try to fortify my world form you, and it failed.
Slowly, I try to found the creak on my shield so I can see your light. I refuse to repair it for the shake of seeking your little warm. For the shake of my cold heart which throbs for your warm touch.
Now, your light becomes part of my dark world, now it won’t find it peace without the warm of your light.
Part two: Heart
My love,
What is it with my heart? They keep beating fast whenever you around
My love,
What is it with my heart? They feel empty when my mind not occupied by you
My love,
What is it with my heart? They are aching when you walk away
My love,
This stupid heart don’t know how to tell me that they aching for you
This stupid heart never tell me how much you mean to me
This stupid heart never scolds me for hurting you
My love,
I’m so sorry, I never learn how to listen to my heart
My love,
Would you forgive me?
My love,
Even I’m not worthy, this stupid heart still shouting your name
As much as my mistake, I will do better to fix it
My love,
Would you take me back?
Even if you wouldn’t,
………
Jiyong frown, flipping the letters again and again try to find where is the next words. The deep voice of his boyfriends snaps his attention.
“And even if you couldn’t…”
Jiyong took a deep breathe, preparing himself. Oh my… is this what I thought will be?
“There are words I was never able to say to you”
Seunghyun takes Jiyong hands in his and squeeze it.
”It won’t take long so please listen...”
There is a long pause as Seunghyun try to compose himself, cupping Jiyong’s face to look straight at his eyes.
"I love you more than anything in this world, You are the best thing that is mine. Losing you will never be the option"
There is a tears in Seunghyun’s eyes, he don’t care right now and leans to seal his lips with Jiyong’s. The kiss is sweet, nothing rush, just brush of lips which move in sync, but shares so many emotion that swelling in their heart. When they apart, Seunghyun feel content and smile to Jiyong.
“Seunghyun… Seunghyun… Seunghyun…I don’t know what I should do about you? You… You make my heart goes ups and down today with all your stunts”
Jiyong spins his body left and right, shouting and laughing. He never thought Seunghyun will go this far. But Seunghyun is Seunghyun, he is man of unexpected action. Seunghyun reach his hands and pull Jiyong to his body.
“So… am I accomplished my mission? Are we boyfriends again?”
“What are you talking about? Of course we are boyfriends, I never said about break up”
“Ohh...”
Is all Seunghyun can say, because Jiyong kiss his neck and shoulder with his legs wrapped around Seunghyun’s waist is really distracting. He whine when Jiyong’s stops his ministration and narrow his gaze.
“Oh wait, you have to promise me 2 things first”
“Uh huh..”
“One, you have to receive my call. Lets do it just once a week, it’s not hard is it?”
“Okay”
“Two, you don’t have to text me back all the time, just tell me if you have eat or anything so I’m not worry. Lets try to make it together, okay?”
“Okay”
“You don’t seems sincere…”
“Shut up, we will talk again, now I want to make a baby”
Seunghyun earn a smack at his head because this stupid comments
“We can’t have a baby, silly”
“Doesn’t matter,, I already give you a mountain of baby dragon”
The sweet sound of Jiyong’s laughter always gives a warm to Seunghyun’s heart, and he will never trade this to anything, even his solitude of darkness.