Sometimes things change - and not for the best
I have been faced with so many decisions lately and they come in more and more difficult transitions. My mom has decided to leave my sisters house and that she doesn't want to be found where she is going. SO, I talk to her and ask her if she is still getting the apartment and she said yes. Well, She doesn't know when but she is getting it, but.. down here where I am at, her now ex boyfriend is moving to Florida and when he leaves on the first of September, I am practically on my own, whether it be here in this apartment or on the streets but none the less I am on my own.
So, right now, I am job hunting so I can keep this apartment for as long as I can and keep up the bills: Electric, Phone, Cable, Net, etc. So, if I don't find a job soon then I am up shit creek without a paddle. I could always ask someone if I could stay with them but I feel it is time for me to start living on my own instead of scrounging off of everyone else, but it is a hard decision. I have always taken care of my parents.. Dad passed away this past november 2005 and mom is in Indiana, and apparently, mom thinks I should move on and stop living for her, but that is hard seeing how I have taken care of her since I was 5 years old.. so for 15 years now all dedicated to her and my father.
In some ways she is correct, but she is still Ill although yet she is in denial and feels she does not need a babysitter. I understand she is of age, 48, and a grown woman and not a baby but I feel that if I am not around her then something will go wrong and I will not be around to care for her. Lke I said.. it's a big change.
School starts TOmorrow. ( August 14th, 2006) and I will be away from 8am - 3:30 pm. and I will be starting new. I just need to get my life together and figure out where to go from here. I am hoping to get a roommate to help with the bills and stuff but finding someone I can trust and shit is hard. I could always ask a friend of mine or more if they could move in.. be a room mate and help out! but that would be asking too much I believe.
oh well.. Carpe Diem ( sieze the day ) is what they say and I believe I will start doing that Monday. Living for myself.. create a new, unsupervised and non-stressful world for myself.
So, right now, I am job hunting so I can keep this apartment for as long as I can and keep up the bills: Electric, Phone, Cable, Net, etc. So, if I don't find a job soon then I am up shit creek without a paddle. I could always ask someone if I could stay with them but I feel it is time for me to start living on my own instead of scrounging off of everyone else, but it is a hard decision. I have always taken care of my parents.. Dad passed away this past november 2005 and mom is in Indiana, and apparently, mom thinks I should move on and stop living for her, but that is hard seeing how I have taken care of her since I was 5 years old.. so for 15 years now all dedicated to her and my father.
In some ways she is correct, but she is still Ill although yet she is in denial and feels she does not need a babysitter. I understand she is of age, 48, and a grown woman and not a baby but I feel that if I am not around her then something will go wrong and I will not be around to care for her. Lke I said.. it's a big change.
School starts TOmorrow. ( August 14th, 2006) and I will be away from 8am - 3:30 pm. and I will be starting new. I just need to get my life together and figure out where to go from here. I am hoping to get a roommate to help with the bills and stuff but finding someone I can trust and shit is hard. I could always ask a friend of mine or more if they could move in.. be a room mate and help out! but that would be asking too much I believe.
oh well.. Carpe Diem ( sieze the day ) is what they say and I believe I will start doing that Monday. Living for myself.. create a new, unsupervised and non-stressful world for myself.