i'm headed to massart next fall.. :]
holy shit this life has no purpose.
thats freeing.
thats grandoise.
i can't go through my daily days here, smiling, happy. its too.. honest.
i feel good when i'm alone. i feel at peace. i'm usually hyper. i'm usually optimistic.
usually.
mostly.
i cant wait until i'm in the city next year. i'm not going to lie.
i figure there are two extremes in the world - the woodsy, un human occupied nature and the deadly, crammed up metal city walls.
saratoga springs is not quite natural, its mostly synthetic, but there is also room to breathe, so it's somewhere in between,
whereas in boston, its going to suffocate me, drown me, and try to take my being.
and i know i can fight it.
i guess thats what my problem is; i constantly need to be fighting (or for) something.
- the pursuit of girls/partnership [check]
- gender identity disorder, fighting for my right to be who i am [check]
- against my brother [check]
- for my brother [check]
- against the cancer [check... and continuing]
and now that a lot of things have calmed down, i dont feel.. a fight here.
with the city digging at my skin, which unfortunately is starting to show bones and my vulnerability,
i will have a constant battle to distract myself and help me grow.
education is power if you're listening. and i am.
thats freeing.
thats grandoise.
i can't go through my daily days here, smiling, happy. its too.. honest.
i feel good when i'm alone. i feel at peace. i'm usually hyper. i'm usually optimistic.
usually.
mostly.
i cant wait until i'm in the city next year. i'm not going to lie.
i figure there are two extremes in the world - the woodsy, un human occupied nature and the deadly, crammed up metal city walls.
saratoga springs is not quite natural, its mostly synthetic, but there is also room to breathe, so it's somewhere in between,
whereas in boston, its going to suffocate me, drown me, and try to take my being.
and i know i can fight it.
i guess thats what my problem is; i constantly need to be fighting (or for) something.
- the pursuit of girls/partnership [check]
- gender identity disorder, fighting for my right to be who i am [check]
- against my brother [check]
- for my brother [check]
- against the cancer [check... and continuing]
and now that a lot of things have calmed down, i dont feel.. a fight here.
with the city digging at my skin, which unfortunately is starting to show bones and my vulnerability,
i will have a constant battle to distract myself and help me grow.
education is power if you're listening. and i am.