Recent events.
So, yesterday our principal tells us of these boys dying, one of which went to my school. Then I find out Elizabeth, my friend from the bus, this eighth grader I adopted as my freshman for next year, took 90 pills and tried to kill herself, and has probably succeeded. She's in the ICU, her heart's stopped 2-3 times, and there's no brain activity. They didn't pump her stomach till the next day. Those fucking idiots at the hospital, I mean.
It hasn't really sunk in that I may never see Elizabeth again. I mean, I said I'd adopt her and I may not get to. I saw her almost every day and now...
God, I hate that. The idea that someone could be there one day and the next day...not exist anymore. It makes me wonder if someone closer to me were to die...what would I do? If Liz, or Ellie, or Izzy, or Sam, or Eddie, or Amber, or Cassidy, or Jessica, Marissa, Megan, Colton, Logan died? What would I do without that person in my life? What if I died tomorrow? Would life go on? There would still be kids in my school that went on living their normal lives, not even knowing, not even caring that I didn't exist anymore. What about my friends? How would they cope?
I guess it's just scary to think about.
I've been writing slightly emo, kinda bad poetry and crying a lot. Before all this even happened.
On a brighter note, Ote, Erin, and Zane are here.
When I first saw Zane I was just...I was afraid to even touch him. He's so tiny, so fragile and delicate. I was afraid I'd do it wrong, that I'd hurt him. I just leaned forward and smiled at him. He's adorable. Looks very different in color. I'm still afraid of him. I'm afraid of babies, I don't knwo what to do with them and I think I'll hurt them.
God, today has been depressing. Nothing more to say, except that I love you all. And if you died tomorrow, I'd cry for you.
Love,
Sarah
It hasn't really sunk in that I may never see Elizabeth again. I mean, I said I'd adopt her and I may not get to. I saw her almost every day and now...
God, I hate that. The idea that someone could be there one day and the next day...not exist anymore. It makes me wonder if someone closer to me were to die...what would I do? If Liz, or Ellie, or Izzy, or Sam, or Eddie, or Amber, or Cassidy, or Jessica, Marissa, Megan, Colton, Logan died? What would I do without that person in my life? What if I died tomorrow? Would life go on? There would still be kids in my school that went on living their normal lives, not even knowing, not even caring that I didn't exist anymore. What about my friends? How would they cope?
I guess it's just scary to think about.
I've been writing slightly emo, kinda bad poetry and crying a lot. Before all this even happened.
On a brighter note, Ote, Erin, and Zane are here.
When I first saw Zane I was just...I was afraid to even touch him. He's so tiny, so fragile and delicate. I was afraid I'd do it wrong, that I'd hurt him. I just leaned forward and smiled at him. He's adorable. Looks very different in color. I'm still afraid of him. I'm afraid of babies, I don't knwo what to do with them and I think I'll hurt them.
God, today has been depressing. Nothing more to say, except that I love you all. And if you died tomorrow, I'd cry for you.
Love,
Sarah