I was under-prepared, and just performed poorly. I have no one to blame for this but myself.
emmmitt did fantabulous however! *golf claps*
Swim (Ocean, 0.25 miles): 13:22 (Pace 3:09; place 209)
T1: 4:32 (place 186)
Bike (flat out-and-back, 10 miler, strong headwind on return): 34:51 (Pace 17.2 mph; place 194)
T2: 0:47 (place 34) (Look! Something I'm actually FAST at ;-P)
Run (flat out-and-back 5K): 37:04 (Pace 11:58; place 217)
Total time: 1:30:35 (place 215 out of 236 - can you say "back of packer")