Difficulties in the family
OK, so I know I'm going to sound really emo about this, but my family are terrible. They are arrogant, ignorant, critical and hypocritical.
To start, my mum and I have slowly been drifting apart, I don't know how or why it's happening, but we're just too different. She's loud, she's pushy, she's sort tempered and she's mean.
Against me, she hates how I am, she more than often tries to get me to do things or try things I don't want to. She almost always blames me for something that goes wrong, and she doesn't agree with my views. I can't tell her anything personal because she'll judge me, either saying that I should stand up for myself, that I should be more assertive or forward. I'm scared of her sometimes, but I love her. I can't voice my oppinions because she'll belittle me and argue a case against me. My views are modern and open, whereas hers are closed up and if I get aggrivated, she'll turn the tables on me saying that if I hadn't have done this or if I had done this she wouldn't be pissed off. I can't win with her.
I know it isn't always like this, but I feel strained living with her. I wish I could live away from home for a while. She's overprotective and baby's me. I think she still sees me as an immature 16 year old, despite me being 20. Even with something as little as crying in a film or crying over something I'd listened too, she'll judge me.
But she's not the worst. My grandparents are. My grandad for a start is racist, homophobic and short tempered. He made me mad the other day when he was "talking" about how gay and lesbian couples could now adopt easier. He made out that gay men only adopted boys just to sexually abuse them...
Then there's my nan. She's more homophobic towards lesbians. She's also very racist, even towards Blacks and Asians who have been living in the country since she was born. She hates bisexuals and thinks that they have sex with everyone and are full of disease. My mum agrees. She lies, and then wonders why my Aunt lies too.
I've learned to hide myself away from everyone. I seem to put on a show around my family. So I'm cheerful and funny...
I'm better than that. I'm deeper than the surface. I'm not lazy. I'm not unhappy. I'm not narrow minded. I'm not unkind, and I'm not them.
I'm refraining from having kids until their gone. I couldn't bare to raise them thinking that whatever they grew up to be isn't right. There is no way I'd let my grandparents hold my kids. No way on this Earth. And if my mum thinks she's going to drive any stupid ideas in their heads she can think again. I won't be as she was...is. And I won't let my kids feel as I feel now.
PS. If you think I'm feeling suicidal, you can think again! I'm way too weird to die ;D Besides I'm going to have kids one day, a whole load of hippy kids, yeah!
To start, my mum and I have slowly been drifting apart, I don't know how or why it's happening, but we're just too different. She's loud, she's pushy, she's sort tempered and she's mean.
Against me, she hates how I am, she more than often tries to get me to do things or try things I don't want to. She almost always blames me for something that goes wrong, and she doesn't agree with my views. I can't tell her anything personal because she'll judge me, either saying that I should stand up for myself, that I should be more assertive or forward. I'm scared of her sometimes, but I love her. I can't voice my oppinions because she'll belittle me and argue a case against me. My views are modern and open, whereas hers are closed up and if I get aggrivated, she'll turn the tables on me saying that if I hadn't have done this or if I had done this she wouldn't be pissed off. I can't win with her.
I know it isn't always like this, but I feel strained living with her. I wish I could live away from home for a while. She's overprotective and baby's me. I think she still sees me as an immature 16 year old, despite me being 20. Even with something as little as crying in a film or crying over something I'd listened too, she'll judge me.
But she's not the worst. My grandparents are. My grandad for a start is racist, homophobic and short tempered. He made me mad the other day when he was "talking" about how gay and lesbian couples could now adopt easier. He made out that gay men only adopted boys just to sexually abuse them...
Then there's my nan. She's more homophobic towards lesbians. She's also very racist, even towards Blacks and Asians who have been living in the country since she was born. She hates bisexuals and thinks that they have sex with everyone and are full of disease. My mum agrees. She lies, and then wonders why my Aunt lies too.
I've learned to hide myself away from everyone. I seem to put on a show around my family. So I'm cheerful and funny...
I'm better than that. I'm deeper than the surface. I'm not lazy. I'm not unhappy. I'm not narrow minded. I'm not unkind, and I'm not them.
I'm refraining from having kids until their gone. I couldn't bare to raise them thinking that whatever they grew up to be isn't right. There is no way I'd let my grandparents hold my kids. No way on this Earth. And if my mum thinks she's going to drive any stupid ideas in their heads she can think again. I won't be as she was...is. And I won't let my kids feel as I feel now.
PS. If you think I'm feeling suicidal, you can think again! I'm way too weird to die ;D Besides I'm going to have kids one day, a whole load of hippy kids, yeah!